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Thread: is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

  1. #1
    mermaidnz
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    Default is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    i have started to notice a trend in dancers

    1: a feeling or not wanting to be alone,literally, alone in a house of whatever, simillar to paranoia or delusions, a seemingly normal situation with percieved danger or anxiety.

    2: panic attacks

    3: not wanting to be in public, for whatever reason,usually aggrivates panic attacks, or anxiety.

    4: or the opposite, a want to be alone.reclusive.




    has anyone else notcied any of these things in themselves? its a subject that came up when i worked in new zealand, and most of the girls at my club experianced some form of the above,some more acute then others, a few were even on medication for it.
    but tonight, the subject came up again, at a different club, different club, and again, the same results.

    the weird thing is, ALL of the girls i know of with any of these "things" did not start to have them happen UNTIL they started dancing, after a year or so it sets in.

    what could it be? the fact that we work nights? of is it the nature of the job?

    i know this is a bit of a risque topic, but it is important.i feel MANY girls think of these feelings as normal, i know i did, till i spoke to my mums friend ( who happens to be a recieptionist at a mental health clinic!) who said it was extreamly common, and too many people over look the whole thing, thinking they are " not crazy" etc, and dont want to be thought of as a mental health patient.

    im going to try find out more on this, i just think its weird so many people in the stripping industry have the same "symptoms" and no one knows much about it.

    haha, now you all think IM weird....lol
    sorry , i felt this had to be posted

  2. #2
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I was crazy before I started.

    But, yeah, I do want to be in public a lot less. I've never really thought of it as related to dancing; it's not like I am afraid of seeing customers or anything. But I'm sure it could be--I mean, I'm on stage half the night, I guess it's normal to want to go unnoticed at other times.

  3. #3
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    If these syptoms are extremely common amoungst the stripper population, do you think that maybe it may also be common in other professions that are in the public eye? Many famous actors/actresses in Hollywood exhibit these same feelings and responses, as well as musicians and politicians.

    Just like we bleed when we are cut, some of these responses may be a nessessary mental clensing that our brains go through. Sometimes I feel like I get social overload at work, and it is nice to sit home for a couple of days and just spend quiet time working on hobbies or reading books. I enjoy my late night commute for an hour after work to kind of decompress from the day.

    On the flip side, is when girls are feeling social ostrication because of their job as a dancer, and need more acceptance from the people around them; to feel part of a social group. Especially if they have been critized by family or friends for what they do for a living. The isolation and reclusivness may come from having a double life, and if you don't let anyone too close to you personally, you don't risk getting "found out". All of these things create stress that over the long term turn into anxiety and depression.

    Throw into the mix the drugs and alcohol. Also the drama at work and you have a very stressful existence. Who wouldn't be a little nuts in the first year trying to figure out how to cope?

    I've been dancing over 5 years now, and I have discovered how to strike a balance. Instead of trying to lead a double life, I just came out to my friends and family. People were more supportive than I thought they would be. The ones who were critical, or negitive, really weren't worth my time or energy anyway, so it didn't matter.

    I think this is what you are seeing, and not so much that crazy people are attracted to this business. You aren't crazy if you are having normal, natural responses to situations.

    This forum is such a wonderful place due to the stresses we feel as dancers. If we are feeling lonely, we can come here and share our expierences in an electronic social club anytime, day or night! If we need someplace to escape to without feeling the pressures of being social, we can come here and just lurk around and tune the world out for a while.

    Wow, I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy now

    I'm not worried about being crazy, and the ups and downs aren't painful enough for me to feel the need to seek medical help. I figured that if we listened to our bodies, and acted according to what our personality dictates, most of us should be just fine. I don't want some Dr. telling me that I need to fit into a cookie cutter human pattern of behavior and giving me medicine so that I may achieve it. If I am lonely or sad or anxious or depressed, I see it as a sign that I need to change something. Pain is motivation to improve our lives, take away the pain, and we will sit contently, never moving forward.

    So unless your pain is disruptive to the point that it is destructive to yourself and others around you, relax. I think it is normal.

    If there is someone here with a psycology background, I would love to hear your opinion. I am merely a life expierence person, and have almost no schooling in the mental feild.



    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  4. #4
    Veteran Member vanilla_dog's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I am a total homebody. Stripping has made it worse. Socializing for a living makes socializing no fun anymore.

    As one of my stripper friends once said: "unless I'm making a lot of many or having a lot of fun I'm staying home."

    About sums it up.
    You get what you put up with

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I developed panic attacks, major depression, and anxiety about a couple of years after I started dancing. I have always been depressed, but it became much worse. I had never had panic attacks or anxiety like that until then. I also became antisocial. I was dating a musician at the time, and I would go to his shows, totally ignore everyone there, and just hang out with a few select people. Since I have been dancing, I have become much more picky about who I choose as friends, and who I choose to socialize with and spend time with. I feel nothing in common with most people. I mainly choose to hang out with other entertainers who know where I am coming from. I am just not interested in most people anymore. I have also become a homebody, and I love to be alone. Rather than go out with people that I find boring and inane, I will choose to stay at home alone. I did that today.

    My depression has since cleared, my panic attacks have subsided, and I am much stronger today than ever. If you work on it, I think you can find that source of inner strength that will overcome.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Quote Originally Posted by abadvi link=board=27;threadid=7385;start=msg84259#msg8425 9 date=1079291401
    I was crazy before I started.
    Great response !! I was thinking the same thing !!
    My new love...is me !

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Quote Originally Posted by vanilla_dog link=board=27;threadid=7385;start=msg84292#msg8429 2 date=1079297346
    I am a total homebody. Stripping has made it worse. Socializing for a living makes socializing no fun anymore.

    About sums it up.

    I can't handle parties anymore, or any type of social atmosphere when outside of the club... I have been this way every time I have danced, and I am also finding that the friends I have do not understand me, but support me.. I have to 'psych" myself up to attend social events. I tend to become my stage persona not just at work but also have found that sometimes I have to be my "stripper personality" in order to get through a social event... and let my real self disappear...

    I try to stay home as much as possible.


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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I'm with the other homebodies, I have a very busy life and when I can stay home I do. Like Gynger said, I sometimes slip into "stripper persona" at social events.

    Lena



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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    naaah, it's just trying to restore needed balance after appearing nude on stage before the 'entire world' every night.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Not me....I'm a party machine...go out 6 nights a week!!! Although after a particularly rough run at work...I veg for a few days...also, I hate getting dressed up and wearing makeup when I do go out...but in Austin, that's the norm anyway, its super casual...

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Veteran Member carmenNYC's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    i feel the same way as VD and MissG. exactly the same way.

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    Veteran Member MotherDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    A girl I knew a while back had these EXACT symptoms. She could never be alone, not even with her three year old daughter. She was drawn to anyone who would love her or pay attention to her. She was also extremely moody and would freak out at times over nothing.

    I agree with Melonie, its all about striking a balance.
    I only work two nights a week and that is enough fun and money for me.
    Those who bring sunshine into lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

  13. #13
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I wish I could disagree and say that I was "crazy" before dancing as well, but I know for a fact that in some twisted way, dancing has opened up a door to ALL (except the overly-social) characteristics that Mermaidz listed. I never want to to go out with my friends on weekends. If I do, I am very "aware" of myself, and need a quick few drinks to loosen up. I am perfectly content on my days off being in sweats and alone with my pets, reading a good book. I have become such an introvert since this job. I even avoid my friendly neighbors next door if possible. I just want to be left alone by the majority of the population. Right now I live in a world where only my closest friends and family are allowed in. Aside from them, I feel like everybody else who knows I am a dancer is picking me apart and judging me all of the time. About a year and a half into dancing I developed this anxiety, and now that I am going through a breakup with a guy I've been with since I was practically in grade school, and all these symptoms have become much more prominent. I am even more of a recluse and the anxiety has heightened intensely. I've lived with this guy for four years and he has always been the pillar of my strength. Without him I feel like I'm just boneless, no structure, nothing solid, nothing to hold on to. The only thing I can control is who I deal with on a daily basis; who I choose to talk to, who I allow myself to be myself in front of, which is like two people currently; my ex-boyfriend and my best friend. For the past month I live in perpetual anxiousnes; the panic sets in real good about once or twice a day up to a few hours at time. Many times this occurs on my way to work, and other times it occurs when I try to sleep at night now without my guy by my side. It's like I cant get enough air in my lungs, I cant get a full breath, so I keep taking huge deep gulps of air. I feel sick to my stomach and my heart beats really fast. Tonight I closed all my blinds and put up blankets over any remaining windows. I know that my neighbors are not going out of their way to look at me through the windows, so it's not paranoia. It's just the feeling that I dont want anyone to bother me or to have any access to anything that I want to keep to myself; my home life. My private life. I just want to be alone, to mourn this relationship and deal with the fact that I've got calm myself down before my next night of work when I come out of this private little world I've built all around myself and reveal myself to so many people. But when I am alone, I dont want to deal with people, and make it a point not to. At least for now. When you're dancing you see an ugly side of human nature and it makes me want to be in my own space and shut people out. It's a struggle. I feel that if I had chosen a different job, the anxiety and some depression would still be there (due to hereditary factors plus this breakup), but I know I'd be much more of a social person if I were not a dancer. I agree so much with what Melonie said that wanting to be alone is due to the desire to retore the needed balance after being nude in front of the entire world night after night. For me, I attribute the anxiety, panic attacks, and wanting to be alone: 60% because of dancing, 40% to current personal problems. I'm currently being percribed Wellbutrin (for depression) and Ativan (for anxiety). The depression is not as bad as it was a few weeks ago since my doctor upped the milligrams and the Ativan only works on my anxiety for about 5 hours when I take it (which my doctor says should be only once a day). I dont want to ask my Dr. to up the milligrams on the ativan because I sense my own daily dependency for it already, and therefore am just trying to get through the anxiety on my own. Like I said, it's a struggle. I have faith that it wont always be though. Someday I'll quit dancing, get a regular job, and slowly let people back in. It might not be the right thing but wanting my own solidarity is how I cope with dancing and life in general right now. I stress right now. In the meantime always silently thank God for days or even moments that I do have, where there is no anxiety and I feel strong and calm and peaceful .

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    Senior Member vegasvixen1's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Oh my Goddddd!!!!! I thought I would never find anyone who understood!!!! I used to be such the social butterfly and then i started dancing about 2 years ago and now i am such the little hermit crab. my husband and i are newly weds and he probably thinks i am so boring and / or creepy but i totally need the balance of hanging out with my puppy and him on my nights home. It is sooo good to find people who get the whole reclusiveness thing!!! if anyone wants to talk later email me at [email protected] I would love to have some of you to confide in etc.
    "And when your'e crawling over broken glass to get to me, thats when I'll let you stay." -me

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Quote Originally Posted by miss george link=board=27;threadid=7385;start=msg84361#msg8436 1 date=1079310245
    I'm with Vanilla Dog. I'm an introvert naturaly, but what with the dancing, I no longer want to be around anyone except my cat and dog (and husband).
    All of the above except for the dog and husband .. here here!

    Then again I was always described as wierd, crazy, etc. prior to dancing Hence have always had the response "at least I'm not boring" which is true.

    OTOH, if the social situation I find myself in involves drunk guys ie niteclubs or other such situations.. then I do slip into my stripper self. Hence I try to only attend social occasions which don't depend on alcohol... alcohol is a side-note not the reason to be there.



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I agree 100% with Paris and Melonie. I think too many people (especially those in the mental health industry) are way too quick to place a label on what is really normal human reaction to stressful situations. Like when they say a certain behaviour is 'common' and 'often overlooked', I think many of those behaviours SHOULD be overlooked! Now there is always exception, and extreme anything could be bad, but when you're just talking about people who are exposed in public alot just wanting to be alone sometimes, I don't see the problem. Who the hell wants to always be exposed in public? Hell I'd be more concerned about those who are constantly out there, and can never seem to just be alone. Yeah some of us may want to stay home alone more than most people in regular jobs, but you can bet your sweet ass if the people in regular jobs were doing what we do, they'd want to stay home alone more too!

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  17. #17
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    omg digital love! i hate that coming home to an empty house a some un-godly hour of the morning and thinking somone could be waiting for me! usually im lucky enough that my bf comes and picks me up from work, so i dont have that problem, btu its a horribal feeling.


    i understand what melonie is saying, and i guess its a pretty obvious explaination.

    it just struck me as strange, that the feelings i personally have been having ( and keeping to myself) for the last year or so, are totally normal in the dancing world. its a topic i think lots of people in general are afraid to talk about, yet its so common.


  18. #18
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    This thread tells me there are too many licensed psychotics in the world telling people how normal, natural reactions to their lives are somehow to be viewed as neurosis or psychological issues.

    Simple rechargin' of your batteries is what it comes down to. Dancers get it, bar employees get it, live musicians get it. You're out expending your energy to the general public 8 hours a night, it's normal to want to retreat into a dark hole, in solitude and recharge. Some folks have bigger reserves than others, such as Katrine. It's all good. Use your vacation times wisely to even better ground yourself from your career.

    To add to that, stripclub dancers often times see the absolute worst that mankind has to offer. Creeps occasionally trying to wipe their darkest fetishes off on you and random occurances that would make a large portion of the female population run off in terror. Coming away from that only with an elevated level of caution and anxiety as a side effect is pretty impressive, if you ask me... even moreso for those that live alone.

    And DigitaLove- you've given two examples where you were made quite well aware of what goes bump in the night. I wouldn't consider your reaction as paranoia or delusional, but instead good survival instincts!
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  19. #19
    Pamela
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Nope it's the other people around you who make you nuts!

    Pamela

  20. #20
    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Its the public that is making me crazy, not the dancing.


  21. #21
    Senior Member missmolly's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I've worked at my club for almost a yearand I have noticed that new girls who start the club slowly start to go from normal girls to girls who start drama in their every day life. Maybe to "fit in" with the other drama queens at the club? I don't know, maybe drama really does follow strippers.
    "It's hard to say that I was wrong, It's hard to say I miss you, since you've been gone I'm not the same"
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  22. #22
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Wait.. perhaps its the other people who are crazy and we are the normal ones?


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  23. #23
    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gynger link=board=27;threadid=7385;start=msg84557#msg8455 7 date=1079373851
    Wait.. perhaps its the other people who are crazy and we are the normal ones?
    ginger, i believe the above statement is absolutely true...it's the rest of the world! there really is no "normal" by which people can define things.

    but on another note, i do find that i've become a bit more "dramatic" since dancing...but am able to control it better. however, being a leo, i was pretty much a brat growing up

    dancing at first magnified the negative aspects of my personality (physical exposure begat emotional exposure). hence the problems years ago. but now things are better, and dancing has allowed me to advance in life. pursuing an M.A., and couldn't have financed it without the business.

    there are days when i want a quiet night with a book alone, or a day on a windswept beach to ponder.....

    nice topic mermaidnz

  24. #24
    Senior Member kennedy's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    I can't tell you all how comforting it is to read this thread. I am a generally happy person but many of the issues brought up made me say "Oh wow,,,I am NOT the only one..."
    I especially love how so many of us stated our pets as one of our main sources of comfort on days off...


    Thank you ladies (and guys)
    " If I can't be a good example, then I will just have to be a terrible warning."

  25. #25
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:is dancing making us all crazy? just an observation...

    Quote Originally Posted by DigitalLove link=board=27;threadid=7385;start=msg84698#msg8469 8 date=1079399828
    Then I question myself... Am I really THAT important that someone would go through the trouble to betray? Most likely NOT, but then it takes all kinds on this planet...Yet, there is no sense in NOT participating because an overrated fear.
    I found this very interesting Digital.. as I have had the same thoughts... I trust only those who are extremely close to me, and have known me for years... or are in my field but not in my club (hence my reason for being on this forum), the few friends, close personal sister friends I have are dancers or former dancers and can read me like a book, everyone else, including those who I've known but do not do this, I tend to question... I trust very few people, I have had my fair share of judgement and deceit thrown my way.. some people will go to great lengths to hurt someone... very sad, but very true, but again, not something to keep me from participating...


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