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Thread: How do guys feel about dating strippers?

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    Curious Guest babybianca's Avatar
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    Default How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Ok, so I've had a number of guys at the club (and a few outside) tell me that they could never seriously date me because of what I do. It doesn't really matter to me at this point because I already have a boyfriend, but we've been together before I started dancing (he was also the one who encouraged me to dance for financial reasons). Lately however, he's been jealous of the men who see me at the club and has told me how increadibly lucky I am that he tolerates my job even though he hates it because "most men would NEVER consider me dating material at this point" :shocked:!!! Now, this has got me thinking "what if we broke up....How would I break it to the next guy? Would I really be considered that undateable by most men because I'm a dancer?" I'm not a mean or rude type of girl, in fact I'm totally the type you could bring home to Mom , but does this job really carry such a strong stigma as to turn off most serious guys even if you have a nice personality? What have your experiences been in this department, ladies?(fellas are welcome to comment too)

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    Featured Member SCGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    I'd date a stripper! lol....but I don't think that's what you're asking about

    Yes, unfortunately, it DOES carry that much of a stigma. That's the one thing I can't get past when I've seriously considered stripping. Everyone will treat you like an outcast....it's scary.....and sad. But, again, I can only speak about what I think it would be like--I can't really know since I don't strip (as a job) myself.
    "You did then what you knew how to do; when you knew better, you did better" ~Maya Angelou

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    I wouldn't date one...but they're wicked fun to hang out with.

  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Yep, i heard many times i could not date you shit. Ok, i don't date customers. But hell i have an ex who went off because of phone sex!!!! Wow! The most harmless and Fake kind of adult entertainment you can get. So dancer...hell he tried to date one, then found out drugs where involved, he had no idea how easy he had it with me.

    No cheating, lots of sex, i loved him, and was willing to change (some) parts of my life for him. Instead i get "you talk to much shit." WTF?

    Some guys think they DESERVE better. Miss perfect wont be any better than anyone else. Accept one another, flaws and all.

    Ok, i am ranting again....sorry.

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    Curious Guest babybianca's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    That is really sad and and quite scary...It makes me rather nervous to think what would happen if or when I ever have to join the "dating" crowd again. I think that alot of guys upon finding out about my job would either 1) attempt to take advantage of me possibly financially or sexually because of preconceived notions about dancers or 2) not take me seriously as a person with actual feelings (i.e. I'd be arm candy)....yikes!

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    They can go circle jerk the guys who only want to date/marry virgins.


    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Babybianca, you've made an accurate observation. Yes, it's true. Keep your circle of friends small but true and if you start dating again, best to meet a guy who is a friend of a friend, not some random.


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    Senior Member vegasvixen1's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    My experience was (pre-marriage) that all guys think strippers are not only prostitutes but FREE ONES if they took you out once! ha! good luck
    "And when your'e crawling over broken glass to get to me, thats when I'll let you stay." -me

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    nonono...you've got it all wrong.

    It's a stereotype, but not necessarily a bad one.

    Most strippers that I've met aren't really into dating at the time...which is pretty typical I would imagine. So why even set yourself up for a letdown?


    It's a pretty closed question.

    Say you got bitten by 4 rottwielers, would you run up to the next one and try and pet it ? That's what a stereotype is, it's just ways of making fast judgements based on lil info. I'm not saying if I met an amazing girl, and she happened to be a stripper I would shrug her off. But I'm not gonna go looking.


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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Being a former dancer myself I know all the stigmas attached to dancers is utter drivel. My girlfriend dances and I have no problem with that because it all boils down to the issue of trust. I trust her, she loves her job and everyones happy. I think thats the problem with alot of fellas who dont want to date dancers, they have a problem with trust.

    Just my opinion.

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    Veteran Member francesca's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    -Some guys want to date you specifically BECAUSE you're a stripper.

    -Some guys don't want to date you but want to hang out and have sex with you specifically because you're a stripper.

    -Some guys WANT to date you but won't because you're a stripper.

    -Some guys who just see you for who you are and not what you do.

    Surprisingly, I have had guys try to pursue a relationship with me who are professionals - lawyers, doctors, etc...both young and older guys - people you would expect would avoid strippers because of the stigma and what their coleagues, family, and friends would think.

    So it entirely depends on the character of the guy in question. If someone has a policy of not dating strippers, they obviously don't have the insight to see past what is a job, and what is a lifestyle and I don't have time for people who are that short sighted.
    * FIND YOUR POWER ANIMAL

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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    I would probably be considered the type of guy that would not normally be thought of as someone who would date a stripper. Not to say I am Mr. Perfect or am of upstanding morality all the time but for the most part I am seen as a 'Nice Guy'(and I'm not sure if I always like that stigma) working an average office type job. I have to admit because I would lead what I sometimes consider a normal boring life that there is an appeal of the lifestyle and excitement that I might perceive the world of a dancer to entail. I have never really dated a a dancer but I have been friends with a few and have enjoyed their company, not for sexual reasons but because their life was different than mine and because they were so open and seemingly more adventurous than me and I did learn from them not to live in such a sheltered world and realize that they were dancers but also real people. I had preconcieved notions of the stereotypical dancer but once I began knowing some of them I began to understand that not every stripper is a wild, sex crazy, drug addict, call girl. And i must say that I stumbled upon this site while doing some research into certain strip clubs and I am so impressed with the dancers who post here and if closed minded people would visit this site and read your posts they would realize that dancers are not one dimensional woman with more to offer then their bodies.

    Ok, so I said the nice things but there is another side and just like any profession there are what guys might consider 'datable woman' and undatable woman. First, in any relationship you have to trust your partner and I think if you are dating a dancer trust is a huge deal and is vital. I think one fear men might have when dating a stripper(granted these might be insecure men) is that she is always looking for something better and there is so much opportunity for her to meet men that might be richer or better looking or whatever. Of course, if the relationship is strong these are just the problems of an insecure person.

    For me personally, I could date a dancer but it would be an adjustment knowing your best friend could go and see your girlfriend naked whenever he wanted. Also, I live in Wash DC area and the clubs here are very tame compared to what I read about on here. I do have a friend in another city in the Tennessee area working at a high mileage club that is known for 'extras' and even though I do like her, i don't think I could date her because of some of the things she has told me about her club. I know it depends on the dancer as to what they do and not the club but some of the things this person does for money would not sit well with any normal significant other. To her its just a job and its about the cash just like a 'non extra' dancer views her dancing as a job and for the money.

    So, i guess I am rambling but the bottom line is that if a guy is secure with himself and trusts the girl then it shouldn't matter what the girl does for a proffession. There are plenty of cheaters in all types of professions so in the end its all about the individual.

  13. #13
    Sitri
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    I still can't get past the fact that people ARE NOT THEIR JOBS. Maybe that is because I defined my image for 20 years as what I did and then I had a brain fart and realized that my job will not be written on my tombstone.

    I assume that 10-15 years from now you will be doing something else. Unless they started branding "stripper" on your ass, no one will know.

    I believe that you have to look at the person based on personality and character. Frankly, if I were in the dating situation, (which I am not) I would rather date a dancer who doesn't use drugs or have promisicuous sex than the girl everyone picks up in the bar and takes home.

    Likewise, would you rather date the guy who takes a different girl home every week and can't have a relationship or a successful guy who came into a club once or twice a year to have some fun.

    I just started a thread on the flip of this question yesterday. There are two types of people in the world; those that label people and those who don't. LOL

    I wish I were as eloquent as Francesca.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    In my honest opinion, most of the guys who say, "I could never date you because you are a stripper." are only saying it because they think that they don't have a chance to do so. I truly believe that if the opportunity were to present itself, they would jump at the chance.

    Either way...most of the guys who have said that to me, I wouldn't waste my time with. There is more to a stripper than the job. It would be like not dating the CEO of a company because you think he'd be like a Ken Lay or any of the other dishonest and greedy CEO's out there. It varies by person...and in the end it's the person who defines the job and not the other way around.

  15. #15
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    iv'e never had a problem finding men. But i don't "advertise" that im a stripper and i def. Dont meet any guys i would consider at work.

    I have a lot to offer and not just one job description.

    If a guy did not want to date me because i was a stripper, he doesn't know me very well. Im a very kind, educated woman. A guy would be stupid to pass me or ANY OF US UP!

    AND THAT IS TRUELY HIS LOSS. I'd rather be alone, then have someone look down on me.

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    Senior Member Flounder's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    I currently date a dancer and have dated a couple over the years. To be honest I prefer dating dancers for a number of reasons. My top reason is most I have met know how to let loose and have fun. They know how to enjoy themselves. Second, they hear enough bs all day from guys that they know how to handle them outside of work. I have found that when I take one out, they are there with me and don’t flirt or hit on every guy that flirts with them first (I have had bad experiences with a secretary and a teacher who could not stop doing this; I guess they were starved for any and all attention). Most dancers seem to just want to enjoy your company. The fact that most have a flexible schedule and can take off when needed for vacations and such is a bonus too.

    One thing I have learned about dating a dancer is tell the truth 100% of the time, they hear so much BS all day they can smell a lie a mile away.

    Some others have mentioned it and I agree that trust is the most important thing for a successful relationship with a dancer. You must trust each other or it will not work.

    This is not to say all dancers are dating material but to me they are no more or less than any other profession out there.

    One other thing I would like to comment on is the people who stereotype. Saying you “Don’t date dancers” or you “don’t date customers” is very sad and to a degree shows a lack of character. We all have preferences in who we like to date but when you start stereotyping groups of people, it makes you look bad. If one of my friends were to say anything near this, they would get an earful from me.

    The first dancer I ever dated, 12 years ago or so I ended up leaving her to date a secretary. Later I find out that the secretary was lying to me a lot and addicted to cocaine, doh. The dancer was a great girl and I have been kicking myself in the butt for a long while over that stupid move.

    Bottom line is- I date people that I find both mentally and physically attractive to me. If they happen to be a lawyer, doctor, mother, or dancer, that’s great but it’s the chemistry that matters.

    Flou

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    Veteran Member francesca's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Nicely stated, Flounder.

    I have a doctor friend who told me, "Nurses are the biggest whores in the world. I have friends who have a policy that they will NOT date strippers. I tell them, I'd rather date a stripper who only has sex with a few people than date a nurse who has sex with EVERYONE."

    HE WOULD KNOW...he IS a doctor!
    * FIND YOUR POWER ANIMAL

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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    If I were still dating, I wouldn't considered it any different from dating any other perspective mate or relationship.

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    :rolleyes: This thread on the same forum as a bunch of you talking about "extras" yeah, sign me up for that in a relationship. I'm not saying I'd never date a stripper, but I would definately be turned off by the idea.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    ^ and if you read correctly, most of us dont.

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    Kaiyla
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Guys may prejudge me because of my job but that's fine with me anyway because I dont want a serious relationship with them either. I'm just comfortable with guy friends right now. Now that I am single and realize how much dancing was a negative factor in my previous relationship, I'm not looking for another committed relationship while I'm in this profession. It's just too much crap to contend with. That's just me though.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Not only would I date a stripper (male) I married one . Most of the dancers I have worked with have either been in long time monogamous relationships, or are married. I have met a few single dancers, but that is mostly by the girl's chioce, not for a lack of offers.

    My hubby totally trusts my judgement, and if I decide to engage in extra's type of behavior (I don't in the clubs, but sometimes do in private party situations), he is okay with that too. His comfort level is my comfort level. Of course I wouldn't engage in lunch meetings or any other kind of psudeo date type of situation, I would never go on trips, or even go shopping with a customer. All of my money is earned in a professional area (in clubs or bachelor parties), and if customers want to have a meal with me, I will meet them in the club on my free time to do so. However, when I suggest that to a customer to meet me for lunch in the club, he usually loses interest.

    So... If you are worried about ending your current relationship simply because you are afraid no one else of quality would be interested in you, don't worry. Most guys that come into the clubs and say things like "I could never date a stripper" have the whore/Maddonna syndrome going on. I think those kind of attitudes are hypocritical. Besides the passion is hotter in a relationship where the partners know that it would be easy enough to find someone else. Then you both work harder to keep the fires going!!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi link=board=27;threadid=7465;start=msg85298#msg8529 8 date=1079545082
    ^ and if you read correctly, most of us dont.
    Didn't mean to insinuate that most did, just that you run into these sorts of things more in this particular profession than in others.

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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    Here's another guy perspective. There are a few reasons guys don't like to date strippers. Even though it's almost every guys fantasy to date a stripper, most guys realize there are some very tough hurdles to get by.
    Strippers come in contact with lots of guys daily, and the average guy is worried that his stripper gf will leave him for the next better guy that comes along. That's a big deal for a lot of guys...the jealousy thing.
    Another big deal is the head games that strippers play. I can hear the groans now. Yes, HEAD GAMES. Strippers play all sorts of head games to separate a guy from his money. You know the saying, "A fool and his money are soon parted". Well, strippers are versed as some of the best damned sales people this planet has ever seen. I have witnessed so many variations of selling techniques to get money from customers, it's almost criminal. Guys see this and wonder, "hmmm, if she's doing this routinely, she's got to be pretty good at it. How do I know when she deals with me she's on the up and up, and I'm not being fed a line." We don't know, that's how we know...we never know.
    My wife's best friend is an ex-dancer who used to work for years in a big Atlanta club. I have heard enough stories and insight on top of my own trips to clubs to have a good idea. Personally, I don't care what people do for a living. I have dated professionals (doctors, nurses), blue collar workers to semi-pro dominatrixes. It's not what people do, it's how they are as a person that matters. And from what I've seen and studied, what a person does for living is not that far separated from the type of person they are, else they wouldn't be doing that line of work. Of course, there are always exceptions.

    It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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    Default Re:How do guys feel about dating strippers?

    This is my first post here, seemed as good a topic as any to begin...

    I am a guy that works in the adult industry, and prior to that, the music industry, and I have seen that attitude time and time again. Some guys still have the old mentality that there are some girls you look at naked, watch do porn, have sex with, etc. and then girls that you actually "date".

    For some guys it is probably a jealousy issue, they don't like the idea of sharing their gf with the guys that she dances for. Perhaps they think how can she be faithful when she does that for a living?

    Other guys might think that what she does for a living is somehow dirty. They like the idea of strippers, but don't like the idea of their gf, wife, mother of their children or whatever actually being one.

    The concept is called logic tight compartments in Psychology (I used to be a shrink before I did this, go figure). Basically the person has two opposite mentalities at the same time, even tho they are at odds. Strippers are good, dating strippers is bad. It's the same thing that happens in the brains of right to lifers that say murder is wrong but shooting abortion doctors is just peachy.

    I have listened to conversations where guys go on and on about wanting to be with women that put out on the first date, and then say they would never date strippers cos they are whores. As if being a stripper prevented someone from also being classy, educated, sophisticated or even monogamous.

    To answer your question (a 1/2 hour later), I would have no problem dating a stripper if she didn't let what she did make her feel degraded or that all guys are assholes. Other than that I would look at it the same way I look at any other person I am considering being in a relationship with.

    Well, hope that answered your question and wasn't too rambling.

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