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Thread: this sucks..

  1. #1
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    Default this sucks..

    i really love my job so far.. i am comfortable with dancing and stuff. but i am doing horribly.. after tip out i am left with just enough money to buy a mcdonalds happy meal. i dont know what i am doing wrong. i am one of the prettiest females in my club..and i have a good personality. i dance pretty well and look as though i enjoy what i am doing. i get rather nervous because i am black dancing at a very upscale white gentlemens club. i would imagine that i would make money there, but i dont think i am the type of girl the guys want. a guy wont want a dance from me, and then 15 minutes later i see a skinny blonde dancing for him. i am expecting rejection so i dont try anymore. what strategy should i go to work with? i feel as though i am wasting my time because i am not making any money .. and i have been working about a month. i really enjoy when there are black guys there because i can relate with them easier and the music is more my taste. should i try going to a black club to dance and see how it is and if my money increases? i want too, but i want to give my club a chance, it is really upscale and beautiful.... i am in a slight money emergency right now, i need to fix my car and i am not making nearly enough money to do that!! help me!

  2. #2
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Girl you should be banking at that club because you don't look like most of the girls there! I can't count how many times I see/hear/read guys complaining about the lack of variety in many clubs, the lack of ethnic dancers at some clubs, etc. Your main problem is your lack of confidence of course. Everyone gets turned down by some guy, only to see another girl dancing for him a few minutes later. It's not because you're black, it's because that's just the way it is! You get turned down by one, move along to the other. Next!

    Also you feel uncomfortable with the white guys. I don't know what to tell you about how to get over that but it's a big problem. Don't assume they don't want you because you're black. Many of them will want you because you're black! You need to find a way to get comfortable with those guys, because generally speaking, at upscale clubs most of the customers are white. I guess just pretend they are all the same color and when you start thinking "it's because I'm black", just stop yourself and realize how ridiculous that is. You see the guy who turned you down getting a dance from a skinny white girl most likely because that's what most of the girls are there.

    Anyway the main thing you have to do is realize you are sexy and beautiful and race/ethnicity is not important. ALL of us have to spend some time in the beginning finding our groove, for some it's easier than others. At any rate, when you raise your confidence you raise your earnings. It's directly related. Never be afraid to approach a customer, any customer. You may get several no's before you get a yes, but when you get a yes, woohoo! concentrate on that.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  3. #3
    Senior Member bambi69's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..


    As a african american dancer myself. I find this to be the case in most of the clubs i've danced at over the years. It's every white man's fantasy to come in and get a dance with a woman that is the spitting image of the women he's use to seeing in his fav porn or nudie mag, or as close to it as he can get... These women are 95% white women.

    Every now and then you get guys that will like a variety and likes ethinc types. I don't do well in upscale, mainly white dance clubs and I avoid them at all costs. I am not their fantasy... I prefer to dance at "blue collar" type clubs, where there is still a small cover charge, but you have a wider variety of men coming in to spend their money and get a few drinks. The men I have mostly danced for over the years are Hispanic or Africans. I have danced for many white men, but this is simply not the norm. I have come to accept this and I'm more confident that way.

    The other thing is to consider dancing in countries where African women are the minority... European countries like the Netherlands, Italy, Greece, etc. These men love to get dances from beautiful ethinc ladies, obviously because there aren't many of them there dancing in the clubs. An all black club could work for you and you'll make more $$, since this is your reason for working. Sometimes the men in these clubs are very comfortable with you and want to bullshit you all night long without spending $$ on dances or drinks... so let them know you about the $$ first and chatting later.

    Just an honest opinion, good luck to you what ever you choose

  4. #4
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    In my experience...guys don't give a shit what color a dancer is. They need to be able to relate to you. Guys go to the club to fulfill some fantasy. You may find that you are so-and-so's fantasy this week, and not next week. It doesn't mean that he doesn't find you attractive or whatever, but he's just onto another fantasy.

    You think that the guys aren't buying dances from you because you're black? Then go to a club that the clientele is more to your "liking". You may just be getting your thongs in a bunch over being turned down...and then you look at that person getting a dance from another girl. I had this happen to me quite a bit when I first started. I realized that the reason I stopped getting dances was because of my attitude. Also, since you are new...these guys may have been coming there for a while and are regulars of the girls they are getting dances from. It can take a little while (few weeks to months) to get regulars...but, you have to stick it out.

    The other thing is...if you are the prettiest girl there, then the guys may feel threatened; they may feel that they cannot get "as much" with you as they could with the other girls. That is not saying that the other girls are "giving freebies or extras" but that the IDEA of the other girl doing more is there for the guy. The only thing I can say is that you try some different clubs and see where you do best.

    Or just check your attitude throughout the night and make adjustments as needed. Hold your head high and know that your big money night is coming. Also, don't forget, this is the slowest time of the year...it should be picking up again soon, so just hang in there!! You'll be glad you did!!!

    Good luck, hun!!

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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Try this trick. Think of the hottest white dude on earth like Brad Pitt or Nick Lachey (my personal favorite ) or some other hottie. Then imagine your customer is Brad Pitt-in-a-suit. You'll approach him differently. You'll approach with a flirty, sexy gleam in your eye and a swing to your hips. If that doesn't work then a)you've found a club that's all about making regulars or b)a club you don't share chemistry with. Sometimes the money click doesn't happen because the customers don't have a strong enough passion for your personality. If you can work the room and do OK but the guys aren't waving you over and nearly fighting each other to get a dance, you might have found a lukewarm spot. Try the new approach and sit and visit with the guys for a few weeks to get to know them and make them regulars. If things don't improve dramatically, find a new spot. Don't waste months and years there because it's a glamorous spot with a good rep. Only money matters! I've made great money in glamorous and kooky spots. Only money matters.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Thanks everyone so much for the tips

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Of course it could always be the guys are jerks, but a more likely cause might be your sales technique. The mousy blond may always have got the dance because she she knew him, or maybe she was a better salesperson. During a slow time for her, consider having another more successful dancer evaluate your sales technique. For all you know you may be sending off some kind of a bad vibe and not realize it(sort of like having a hook or slice in golf-the more you try to compensate for it the worse it gets until you relax).

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    Veteran Member darkness's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    you have to be more aggressive.tip out leaves you penniless? what is the house fee there?

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    What state are you in?


  10. #10
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Hmmm...Im also going to be dancing at an upscale gentlemen's club where there is only one other black female and not very many black patrons. I dont think it is our skin color that turns causes them not to tip...
    I like rock music, so I intend to dance to one rock, one rap song in my two song set. Kinda spice things up, besides notice that men usaully tip when they like a particular song... or dancer.
    Either way Im going to audition, If I one of two black females working at the club so what....I'll stand out and who knows I may make more money.
    Besides the black clubs down here are pretty damn nasty, and every other guy is a wannabe rapper. (Yea cause I wanna give a lapdance to 50 Cent all night
    Anyways, I would say keep going who knows it could just be the fact they think you are too sexy to get a dance from...intimadation can really shake a guy.

  11. #11
    Senior Member jennworthington's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    It's a tough one.............last week an older white guy gives me a few dollars and says "Your'e not bad for a white girl". You never know what someone will like!
    No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true......

  12. #12
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    yeah .. i have been taking everyones advice and things have been going well. i had a older white guy come in and spend a total of 500 dollars between me and another black dancer.. he pepped up my step definitely! lol ..i completely understand now that if you do not feel like being at work it shows and people do not want to associate with you. when i am well rested and came from the gym guys swarm all over me! i guess because of the positive energy i give off. tip out is 30 dollars house, 10 dollars house mom, 10 dollars DJ, and 5 dollars bouncer.. those are minimum. im at christies in nc.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:this sucks..

    Yeah just remember that being new it can have its pros and cons. The pros being that either you will BANK because you ate "fresh meat" and brand new, and some guys may wanna show you the ropes. OR you can get the guys who wanna corrupt you (all while spending money)
    The Cons on being new are that they "dont" know you, so they dont know if they wanna try ya out yet.
    But I'd say, just work it, like you did the last time That way you will start to build your customers, and eventually regulars.
    Seems like you are getting the hang of it now

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