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Thread: Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

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    Veteran Member heidi's Avatar
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    Default Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    i just had to vent here....tonight (or should i say last night since it is the morning?)... i had some awful lapdance experiences...grrr....

    i HATE it when guys grab your hips and give themselves the dance... they move you like you are an object to rub on their privates... i mean who is doing the dance here?! me or you? don't get me wrong i like it when a customer gives me suggestions on how i could make the dance better for him... after all every guy is different... but come on now.

    or even worse.... like tonight i had a customer who insisted on lifting his crotch region and thrusting upward hard while i was doing the dance... i almost fell off... wait... actually he almost threw me off of his lap like three times... it was so miserable that when he asked for another dance... i declined... i just couldn't take any more...
    i tried to hint subtley that he stop doing that... but it didn't seem to help...grrr...

    and to top it all of some REALLY drunk younger guy actually took his shirt off "accidently" when i was about to give him a dance... when i ever-so-politely reminded him that he had to wear it... he got angry and said it was an accident and that i should just start the dance while he put it back on which i didn't.... then while putting the shirt back on HE SPILLED HIS BEER ON MY NEW OUTFIT!!!.... understood accidents happen but come on... he didn't even apologize...then he proceded to Bark out orders on how to grind... and try to grab me the whole time....and ask me if i hook on the side...so when it was all said and done... he was so drunk that he forgot and paid me three times for one dance... i considered it a tip for dealing with his rude behavior...

    does this bother anyone else? does this even happen to anyone else? i'm still a newbie... maybe this stuff is common.... but it's crazy....any ideas on how to discourage this type of behavior?
    help me guys...
    i'm counting on ya here...

    xoxo
    heidi
    ....i did not design this game...i did not name the stakes...i just happen to like apples...and i am not afraid of snakes... -Ani Difranco

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    Veteran Member heidi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    sorry i didn't mean to rant... i'm just cranky...

    xoxo
    heidi
    ....i did not design this game...i did not name the stakes...i just happen to like apples...and i am not afraid of snakes... -Ani Difranco

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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    I thought this area was for customer based topics, and that this should be in a dancer's area.

    Regardless, some customers can be rude, as can anyone. Even dancers can be rude.
    Just handle it the way you would any other rude person...rise above and be the bigger person.
    It's all mind over matter. If I don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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    Veteran Member heidi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    oof... i'm sorry... i posted in the wrong spot i guess... well i guess i'm curious to know what customers think about this anyway...

    xoxo
    heidi
    ....i did not design this game...i did not name the stakes...i just happen to like apples...and i am not afraid of snakes... -Ani Difranco

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    LOL! you nicked the Exotic Dancer Barbie as an avatar. Sweet!

    Just a word. Hints hardly ever work. You have to tell them. Sometimes they just don't know touching or pelvic thrusting not allowed. Being assertive will work in your favour, believe me. I've had guys thrust at my ass and I WON'T STAND FOR IT!!! I HATE it! Just tell them to stop it then they won't try it on again or try it on another dancer.

    Another thing. Don't be a wallflower or a sub. I learned this. Some men will walk all over your cute butt and will try all sorts of tricks in the LD room or will even talk down to you when you're working the floor. Don't take orders from them. It's YOUR place of work, not theirs. If they give advice or pointers then sure, listen to them, but NOT orders. That's them trippin' man and it's demeaning to you. Standing up to them will open their eyes and you'll gain respect (or maybe even a few extra LDs - I know plenty men like a confident lady! )

    M xxx
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    Veteran Member heidi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    haha... yeah i had to make it my avatar... LOL

    thanks a lot for the advice malibu... i definately need to become more assertive...
    i will tell them directly next time... heidi has had enough


    also what do you mean by sub.? i'm such the newbie... LOL

    thanks again hon

    xoxo
    heidi
    ....i did not design this game...i did not name the stakes...i just happen to like apples...and i am not afraid of snakes... -Ani Difranco

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by heidi link=board=8;threadid=7781;start=msg89119#msg89119 date=1080477874
    i HATE it when guys grab your hips and give themselves the dance... they move you like you are an object to rub on their privates... i mean who is doing the dance here?! me or you? don't get me wrong i like it when a customer gives me suggestions on how i could make the dance better for him... after all every guy is different... but come on now.

    or even worse.... like tonight i had a customer who insisted on lifting his crotch region and thrusting upward hard while i was doing the dance... i almost fell off... wait... actually he almost threw me off of his lap like three times... it was so miserable that when he asked for another dance... i declined... i just couldn't take any more...
    i tried to hint subtley that he stop doing that... but it didn't seem to help...grrr...
    I really hate to say it, but were you dancing for me? It's probably a little more subtle than that, but once I get to know you I'm doing that. The dancer and I usually get to laughing. I just stay away from the charted but un-populated regions.

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Senior Member Flounder's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Heidi, don&#039;t take it too hard. It just sounds like you had a bad night and ran into some trouble customers and theres prolly not much you could do to change that fact. You&#039;re better off walking away and looking for a better customer. As Malibu mentioned, you have to tell them, hints rarely work, especially on drunk guys. Remember your in charge, if they don&#039;t listen then leave them.

    Good luck and keep looking because there are plenty of nice customers out there.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Poor heidi! Sounds like you had an absolutely horrible night

    Much along the same lines as Malibu, two things you should start keeping on the forefront of your mind, every minute of every hour you are at work:
    1) Just because you are wearing a g-string doesn&#039;t mean you also don&#039;t wear the pants.
    2) Part of respecting yourself is to adopt a "Do unto others.." ideology, and demand the respect it affords... while rewarding the respect that is given. (very important the door swings both ways here).

    By sub- Malibu refers to being a &#039;submissive&#039;- which is someone that takes a servantile, easily manipulated role. This isn&#039;t a recommended practice in the arena of a stripclub, unless you are commanding some pretty hefty $$ in exchange for the privelege/fetish play where the rules are fully discussed up-front. There are some dancers that go along with being subs- which involves basically being the customer&#039;s slave, while he barks out orders and forcibly positions you how he see&#039;s fit to only receive "yes, master" in return. Someone that wants that from a non-sub dancer, and from a $20 dance is smoking something. hehe.

    The bottom line is- you should always be courteous, professional, giving and a true courtesan at all times.. UNTIL someone crosses that line and starts being an ass. Mr. Hippy Grabber, Mr. Bucking Bronco and Mr. Drunken Sod all above lost all rights to respectful treatment the moment they stepped out of line. At that point, you have earned the right to be assertive, forceful and even rude in return.

    If you also adopt a policy of rewarding respectful treatment, going the extra mile for nice, non controlling customers.. as well as rewarding customers that step out of line but smarten up once you chide them, you can start building better clientele. "Train them" so to speak. hehe.

    So remember to wear the pants.. and all will be well.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Heidi are you new at dancing? If you are new then one thing you will need to learn very very soon to survive is that its business..not personal. The ladies say that here all the time if youve read any of their posts. If a guy is doing something youre not willing to go along with then stop dancing for him. Its up to you whether you give him a second chance or not but in most clubs the dancer controls the extent of the contact and activities.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    There are guys who have personality issues or don&#039;t have control over their own lives so they take it out on dancers. Don&#039;t let this discourage you. It happens to most dancers at some point in their careers.



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    Senior Member Pixie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    It&#039;s good that he accidentally paid you three times. Now you can get your new outfit dry-cleaned

    I used to hate it when guys grabbed me and pulled me against them and ground their crotches into my ass. I didn&#039;t really figure out how to stop them before I stopped dancing. Some of these girls&#039; suggestions are pretty good, though.

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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Sometimes, when a customer dances with you, it can be quite funny. But this sounds outta hand! Yuck. One good reason why working in a "no contact" club is a bright idea--you could just tell them that touching is against the rules! Sorry to hear about your bad night--you will have much better ones coming up that will cancel this one bad night out. That&#039;s what always seemed to happen to me. Take care, and don&#039;t apologize for venting!

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Heidi by sub she means dont be submissive.
    Good luck girl, guys like that totally ruin nights.

    edited to fix typo BY*

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Heh, it seems like the worst guys always come out at the end of the month! Cheap, rude, excessively drunk and grabby. It is a common thing I&#039;ve seen in every place I&#039;ve danced.

    Ok this is going to be kinda long but I&#039;m listing suggestions for dealing with each type of bad male SC behaviour. Each type has to be dealt with a little differently, however the same basic rule always applies. You have to get tough.

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=8;threadid=7781;start=msg89206#msg89206 date=1080506012
    The bottom line is- you should always be courteous, professional, giving and a true courtesan at all times.. UNTIL someone crosses that line and starts being an ass. Mr. Hippy Grabber, Mr. Bucking Bronco and Mr. Drunken Sod all above lost all rights to respectful treatment the moment they stepped out of line. At that point, you have earned the right to be assertive, forceful and even rude in return.
    This is absolutely correct. You can&#039;t be too nice with these assholes because they will take advantage. I am always totally nice and upbeat at work, but when some shithead crosses the line, all bets are off. I wouldn&#039;t recommend smacking every guy who gets rude with you, but you do have to be FIRM with them. Let them know you&#039;re not taking their crap.

    The other night I had some asshole lean forward and lick my boob when I leaned in close - I already had a feeling he couldn&#039;t be trusted so I wasn&#039;t getting as close with him as I normally would. He had to come way forward to get his mouth on my boob. My instant reaction was to smack him on the forehead, knocking his head back. He looked really shocked, and I just instantly smiled and told him he needed to behave if he wanted me to finish his dances. (He&#039;d prepaid for 2 and this was the first one.) He said he&#039;d behave, I continued and the next time I started to lean in a little he did it again, smirked and said "I lied." I calmly stood up, got dressed and told him to grow up. "Grow up?" he asked. "Yes, grow up" I told him and walked off. I didn&#039;t do his second song and I kept his money, and told the manager about the incident. This is the first time I&#039;ve had to tell the manager about a dude at this club. They will do something about it here when a dancer complains about a customer being out of line. Usually the guy gets kicked out. This one did.

    I recently had one guy repeatedly trying to grab and poke at me. (LOL it was kinda funny because he was the perfect example of something that was discussed here on another thread, white guys trying to &#039;act black&#039 He kept trying to do this thing with his hands, and cocking his head the way he THOUGHT rap guys do, and trying to poke my boobs and buttcrack. I moved his hands and told him twice to behave. On the third attempt I grabbed both his hands and slammed them hard against the arms of his chair. He didn&#039;t try that crap again. The manager had seen the situation and immediately told him to lay off when I&#039;d finished the dance.

    The bad drunks are usually just about impossible to deal with. They have drank themselves to a state of total stupidity and nothing you say or do will register properly. With them I generally just split. Of course not all guys turn into assholes when they get drunk, but the bad ones get no attention from me.

    The buckers just don&#039;t get any grinding. I don&#039;t really mind the ones who move slightly but the bucking is out. If I sit on a dude and he starts that crap, I just get off and dance differently for a while. If I test the waters and sit again, and he starts up again, I get back up and stay up. I&#039;ve tried telling these guys, and they never seem to get it. Getting up for a while sometimes works, sometimes not, depending on how dense they are.

    For the ones who grab your hips/waist and pull you into them, grab their wrists and move them. If he doesn&#039;t release you when you first put your hands on his wrists and attempt to move them, put your fingers around the wrists with your thumb on the under side kind of below his thumbline and your fingers on the upper side of his wrist and squeeze as hard as you can. Try this on your own wrists and you&#039;ll find the spot I&#039;m talking about. When you squeeze the right spot on the wrists it is very uncomfortable and even makes gripping a little difficult. That will get his attention and loosen his grip. I find that most of these types don&#039;t listen when you tell them either. They don&#039;t give a damn what you say and will push you as far as they can. For me, being forceful is the only thing that works with them.

    However, most guys will settle right down with just a look. This takes some time to perfect, so practice. My look is, I think, kind of a stern mom thing. Like I imagine I&#039;d look at my little boy (if I had one) when he&#039;s being naughty and knows better. Most men are just overgrown babies and treating them as such when they misbehave works wonders.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=8;threadid=7781;start=msg89260#msg89260 date=1080520816
    Most men are just overgrown babies and treating them as such when they misbehave works wonders.
    im offended. are you suggesting that im fat?

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    My look is, I think, kind of a stern mom thing. Like I imagine I&#039;d look at my little boy (if I had one) when he&#039;s being naughty and knows better. Most men are just overgrown babies and treating them as such when they misbehave works wonders.
    When I was a baby, my mom used to put her breast in my mouth when I was acting up Worked every time
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Veteran Member heidi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    awww... thanks everyone for your stories,advice and support as always you guys are the best...

    xoxo
    heidi
    ....i did not design this game...i did not name the stakes...i just happen to like apples...and i am not afraid of snakes... -Ani Difranco

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    LOL! I knew that last line would get you guys. hehehe

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Replace breast with fist and then we can negotiate......hahahahaahahha!

    Incidentally, its not the whiners who get to taste me breast sweets...its the ones who are patient, friendly, and consistent with the bills....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Omidog! I was NOT sober when I wrote the above post...as a lesson to myself, I will not edit it. Remember, hugs not drugs!

    Meow!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    Honestly i just dont put up with that crap.. its made my dancing expierence alot better.. i give them 1 warning.. if they do it again.. dance is over and i want my money.. Now.

    end of story.. ive had a few customers call me bad names so i just kicked them out.. they arent allowed to come into my place of work and treat me that way. I refuse to be treated like an object!

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    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    thats one of the advantages of being a dancer.... not the getting thursted upon but the getting to kick some ass.. I mean getting to make the rules and enforce them... if you tried to tell a customer he couldnt have it his way at mcdonalds you would be writen up so fast...

    i hate those breast licker/suckers, they do it to me all the time because of my large breasts. but I hate my breasts being licked in gerneral, even my ex wasnt allowed to. I have slapped so many of them its not funny, I useually hit them right on the temple with 3 fingers, it dosn&#039;t really hurt them but it useually stuns them enough to get the idea. of course one guy didnt get the hint and got his dance cut short, then got kicked out when he unzipped his pants and had a dollar sticking out of there... hes really the type that need to grow up.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Rude Lapdance Behavior!!!!

    I refuse to be treated like an object!
    Wrong industry to be in if that&#039;s what you want to avoid.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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