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  1. #26
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade is a D.j. link=board=27;threadid=7956;start=msg92787#msg9278 7 date=1081257342
    Hows this for ya: we have a wireless mic that I use when I dj... well one night after about 5 bottles of water I had to pee really bad so I shove the mic into my back pocket and go to take care of business.. Just as the flow picks up speed there was a quiet moment in the song and clear as day the club was filled with the sounds of me in the bathroom. Not only the sounds of natures call but my voice singing quite off key.....I walked out of the restroom and half the club was staring at me so I took a bow and went back up into my hole and hid out the rest of the night,lol

    LOL.. oh that's funny!!! Kinda reminds me of that scene in Porky's.. you know the gym scene with the two gym coaches??? And the whole gym can hear... LOL.. I love that movie...


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  2. #27
    Veteran Member honeygymgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    wow farting lol i can't get over that lol
    Love Yourself Like Nobody Else Could Then you will have that everlasting love we all search for!

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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    I always fear little bits of TP being stuck to my coochie. I obsessively wipe myself with baby wipes everytime I pee.

    I thought I got my period on stage the other day, but it turned out to be a false alarm.

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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    as for the farting thing.. i've been a vegetarian since i was 8 or so, and i've made the observation that we are a great deal gassier. i'm thinking it's a fiber thing... but i digress..

    i'm used to it, i've got a few methods of playing it off and muffling it! (i know, i know..)

    my most humiliating moment? meeting my boyfriend's father for the first time in the club. LOL, i was so nervous when i found out it was him that i was stuttering and speaking rather rapidly. the next day he asked my bf if i had a drug problem!

  5. #30
    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Ok.This is not so embarassing as funny.I went back to a club I had worked at called showcase in Texas.They added a plxiclass floor on the stage with neon uner it and a fog machine was installed above the mirrored wall.I came out and was mirror fucking myself and didn't realize the fog machine was condensating and dripping on the floor.Ok.so far lets review.Stilettoes.wet plexiglass floor.Now picture me finding the wet spot and doing the fred flinstone on the main stage.Wasn't very busy-but I would pay money to see myself doing that.I realized I was never going to regain footing,desperately as I pedaled.So I fell.Good memory.Unfortunately the grandkids won't understand.So I share it with you.

  6. #31
    Member Ellie Tara's Avatar
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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    I've tipped over a couple drinks, and flipped backwards off the rail a couple times, too. The two that stick out more than that:
    Someone said something extremely funny after I took a hearty swallow of a white russian; consequently, I snorted it onto the rack. lol everyone looked...as if I was a boar expelling cum
    The most embarassing was during chinese splits-- I made too much pressure with my right foot and cracked the mirror! When removed after my set, it split in two! The customers laughed and thought it was cute, while I was extremely shy from the happenstance. They installed a new mirror two days later.
    I inquired and there were no other mirror-breaking stories, so I felt heavy that week.
    Oh well, dance and learn, right?
    Now, if I make pressure on the mirror, I'm pretty damn careful! lol
    etherreal eyes

  7. #32
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    All I can say is "queef"! I don't know if this is just my problem or what! Maybe it's a girl with kids problem. I hate it when I'm doing floor work and doing the spread my legs thing and the guys are right there within inches of me. I move to sit up and then "queef".. damn it!..Sounds like a fart..but even longer and more obnoxious :o. This is sooo embarassing :embarassed:. I swear i'm gonna stuff it!..lol


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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    LOL Wow, I am so happy I read this. Now when I spaz out and fall on my ass or something I won't feel so bad.



  9. #34
    Veteran Member Nina77's Avatar
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    Holiday! That happens to me too, well hasn't happened while dancing... YET! I'm so afraid it will... one of these days. Once air gets up there... forget it sorry

  10. #35
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    Default Re:embarassing moments

    Holiday... you have been doing 'fanny farts' (fanny in Australian is slang for vagina). I did this once when I was dancing for a long time regular (at my ex-club)... pure accident.. and he loved it! He wanted me to repeat it and I couldn't... I just don't know how to 'fanny fart' on demand.

    He isn't the only one either who has enjoyed me 'fanny farting' (I always do it purely accidentially)... wierd!


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    Newbie ladyv's Avatar
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    Default Re:embarassing moments



    these are brilliant

    i have slipped on stage loads of times but nothing as terrible as a girl i work with who is a total diva on stage - she's one of those head flick girls that compliments every single move with a head flick - and one night her waist length clip on ponytail FLEW OFF across the stage to land in a customers lap.




  12. #37
    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    lol at lady V! This is why wigs and the like aren't always a good thing!

    GCG, I call them fanny farts as well! I haven't done them at work yet (fingers crossed it stays that way!).
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  13. #38
    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    I can't believe I forgot this one!!

    I was doing a stage show a while back and at this small club I worked at. The pole is dangerously close to the edge of the stage and the customers always need told to keep the area clear but never do

    Anyway, I was doing a spin around the pole where I had to have my legs straight out and I smashed this customer's glass while it was still in his hand! he he! It was darn funny! The drink went all over him and his pals were p*ssing themselves! Luckily noone got hurt from shards of glass or anything.

    P.S. Gynger, that's the story from hell. I've had peeps I know come in the SC while I've been there but a family member? :o Yowsers !!
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  14. #39
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    I started back in '85 so Lord knows I've had my embarrassing moments, but the worst was the one time life seemed to have conspired against me all at one time. I flipped my legs back behind my head and, well, I didn't know I had to fart but apparently I did. I am pretty short waisted so that squishes my stomach quite a bit. It came out quite loud, just as the music stopped. I was buck naked, on stage, bare ass facing four guys, with my legs behind my head, and as luck would have it, right at that moment the guy I was f***ing walked by. The guys all laughed and blamed each other (obviously knowing it was me), and thankfully my bed-friend never mentioned it... as for me, I was mortified. As far as embarrassing moments go, that was definitely the worst!!

  15. #40
    Member Sophie Rose's Avatar
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    I was in a hurry to use the restroom one night because I had less than a song before my stage set and I really had to go. I didn't realize in my haste that I somehow managed to catch a couple squares of toilet paper in the back of my black t-bars so that they were sticking out on both sides and up at the top. Then, I quickly get to the stage to perform my set. While I'm dancing, I approach a customer sitting at the stage and he says to me, "What a pretty bow!" I'm thinking "Huh?"

    I didn't know what he was talking about since my costume had no bows that I was aware of, so I look down at myself and around the stage. Then, the blacklight-enhanced white glow of the toilet paper against my black bottoms caught my eye in the mirror. I just couldn't help myself, I started cracking up laughing and then pulled it out almost instantaneously, and then the customer started laughing nervously as if he was unaware he had made a joke - I assumed he was being sarcastic, but apparently he really thought it was a bow, so I ended up embarrassing him as well because he thought I ripped the "bow" off and laughed at him.

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    I once had a beautiful dancer during a, I guess you would call it a table dance (more of a booth dance), anyway it wasn't a true lap dance, start her period on me. Drops of blood on my wool suit, dress shirt and silk tie.

    Needless to say she was horrified. After taking care of herself in the dressing room, she returned with club soda and an offer to pay the dry cleaning bill. The suit and shirt were fine. The tie was casuality of war. I refused the offer to pay my cleaning bill, but she refused my attempt to pay her for the dance.

    At least it wasn't a lap dance. That would have probably been a disaster and ruined my suit.


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    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HolidayOnStage link=board=27;threadid=7956;start=msg97718#msg9771 8 date=1082117468
    All I can say is "queef"! I don't know if this is just my problem or what! Maybe it's a girl with kids problem. I hate it when I'm doing floor work and doing the spread my legs thing and the guys are right there within inches of me. I move to sit up and then "queef".. damn it!..Sounds like a fart..but even longer and more obnoxious :o. This is sooo embarassing :embarassed:. I swear i'm gonna stuff it!..lol
    Ohh, no!! Haha, I'm scared that will happen to me too, as it has happened during other...personal moments.

    When I went to a club to watch the dancers, this one girl was doing some pretty intimate floor work and I kept thinking, "She's gotta be getting air up there!"
    At least if it does happen, I'll know I wasn't the first to queef onstage! Whew!

  18. #43
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    I recognize that heir are anatomical differences between males and females but what in the human digestive system produces a "queef" as opposed to a "braaack". Do any of the experts on cosmetic surgery know where one can be "tuned" to a different frequency?

  19. #44
    Senior Member Pixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by montythegeek link=board=27;threadid=7956;start=msg98580#msg9858 0 date=1082335718
    I recognize that heir are anatomical differences between males and females but what in the human digestive system produces a "queef" as opposed to a "braaack". Do any of the experts on cosmetic surgery know where one can be "tuned" to a different frequency?
    It's not the digestive system. A queef is caused when air trapped in the vagina is expelled.

  20. #45
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    I just had this happen to me last night: My hair got caught on some dudes belt buckle at my rail!!!!!! how embarassing that was trying to get him to untangle me!


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    Messed up sliding down the pole, and slammed my entire pubus, right at the clit, against the pole, right in front of a group of ghetto brothas standing there, not tipping of course:

    They were like Smokey from Friday, "you got knocked the fuckout!"

    I laughed it off but it was so painful I was tearing uncontrollably through my smile....very embarassing...

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  22. #47
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    OWWWW KAtrine! i always slam my body into the pole, im a klutz. I've hit myself but never my clit on target tho.

    ALso, the bar i work at has a small stage , very thin towards the tip, and i have long legs. I was spinning around and kicked the bartender, on more than one occasion. Tonight some chick's body oils rubbed off on the ground and i almost went into a split. Thank god i have good balance, i ended up in the surfing position! I saw the look of horror come onto a few other dancers' faces too as they could see it happening in slow motion lol.

    The worst shit story tho... im a lactard (lactose intolerant) but i LOVE dairy. I have a Wednesday regular and just at the end of our regular dance I started to fart and then i was like... oh no... i felt liek that diahrrea (sp?) commercial... Where will you be when your diahhrhea comes back?

    Love it!

  23. #48
    Veteran Member oceanblue's Avatar
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    One night when i was 18 and stripping in my first club, I got a little stoned (stupid) and had to go on stage. Well I was dancing and reaching for the pole doing my sexy little walk and completly missed the pole falling to the ground with my foot somehow wrapped against the bottom of the pole. The dj didnt stop the song thinking i would get back up but no, i just lay there waiting for help mortified. I had sprained my ankle real bad and i was sitting next to the dj booth when all of a sudden he blurts over the mic, " and that was Angel, way to take one for the team!" i wanted to kick his ass. I didnt think it was funny at all especially when the nazi manager forced me to go onstage again even though i couldnt walk. Needless to say i was a total retard gimp onstage cringing the whole time.
    Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

  24. #49
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    I twirled around the pole one time, wearing a wig (for the 1st time) and as i flew left, the wig flew right.
    i have to say thats my most embarassing dancer moment.
    oh yea, the farts in the champagne court - thats always pleasant.....thank God the music is loud

  25. #50
    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    My neighbor from across the street came in one day and it was actually surprising. I use to babysit his daughter when I was 11 and I've known the family for a long time now..when he saw me he got up and left..then came a second time a week later and when he saw me he left. He came a third time and just stayed there! Even when I was dancing up stage! It was very awkward! The other one was when I first put on a pair of dancing shoes a girl let me borrow. I have never worn them before and hadn't completely got use to them..as I was collecting my tips..both of my legs split and I fell down. It was by the pool tables which are close to the dressing room and not a whole lot of people saw.

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