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Thread: Approaching Women/ Being Approached

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Girls: Has a stranger ever approached you/ asked you out at a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did you respond? Did you like it?


    Guys: Have you ever approached/ asked a girl out in a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did the girl respond?




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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I have had guys ask me out all over the place.... gas stations (he was the attendent), restraunts (even when i was working, and married), movies, walking down the street, in my car, name it. the most common was friends houses, followed by my house, followed by misc bars/parties.....

    I hate it when guys hit on me. I absoulutly detest guys hitting on me or asking me out at all. I have responded by blowing them off, pushing them away, rolling my eyes, or holding up my left hand and saying "check the finger first!".

    why do you ask?

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I get hit on waaaay more than I should. It's pretty random actually. And I usually go out with the ones that have the guts to break the stigma even if they wouldn't normally be my type.

    As far as me asking girls out, I talk to everyone so if I'm talking to a girl I think would be fun to go out with I'll definately ask, but this is pretty rare. Girls are usually great about it even if they don't think it's such a good idea.

    If I met her ^^ I'd laugh my ass off....nobody should be a stuck up cunt about someone showing they like you. I've never been mean to ANY girl that's hit on me...and there's been some "less than desirables"

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    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I useually try not to be mean about it. and I am not stuck up about it, I just really detest guys hitting on me. I don't like the male species sexually all that much anyway. and there are better ways to show you like me then by hitting on me, tyring to kiss me, or asking me out. blowing them off was being nice by showing them I was not intrested, pushing them away is not mean when they are trying to kiss me and I don't wanna be kissed. rolling my eyes works when they are being overly pushy, especilly if thier friends are there. and the guy I held up my ring to wouldnt leave me alone. I was working as a waitress, he wasnt even my table, he was also drunk, he kept yelling across the restraunt to me to come cuddle with him I told him nicly first that I couldnt because I was working and I was married, after being harresed some more I finally pointed out my ring.

    the only guys that have ever had a chance with me didnt hit on me. they talked to me like a real person and not like some easy lay or some crap. They didnt try to kiss me shortly after meeting me. even then the ones that i would date useually that got frustrated about the leval of contact I would allow would leave on thier own. I don't date guys for sex, if thats what they want, then they can leave.

    I have to do these things to protect myself. If I dated every creep that told me I was hot I would have a very low opinon of myself. If I slept with every guy I dated I would feel shitty about myself. why should I make myself feel bad just to not seem like a bitch?

    and now that I am married, I shouldnt have to say it more then once.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    It gets annoying.I was with my 7 year old in the grocery store,no makeup looking like shit insecure enough.Well first this old man is staring at my tits ,then he sees me notice so he has to play it off like he is noticing my shirt has a newyork soccer team on it.So asks me were I lived there,Iam like its just a shirt I bought didnt notice what it said when I bought it never lived there.Then this little guy starts following me around,goes up to my daughter playing her game boy in the cart,hi she is pretty one, one he keeps saying.Doesnt speak much english.I say yeas one and walk on.Well every isle I go down there he is.This time he pats my daughter on the head.He sees Iam annoyed and goes sorry,then you married you married.Iam like yes, now looking annoyed he stands there and stares,finally leaves when I dont pay attention.I see nothing wrong with being a bitch to these people,women get abducted everyday,its best to not egg these people on.It gets old.especially when you go out of your way to look horrible to avoid this.It is hard when your blonde with big tits though.

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    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    exactly!!!

    thats one of the resons I am getting a breast reduction. but for now i just wear baggy clothes with overshirts so that i look fat instead of "well" endowed. I would ever so much rather be fat, or at least appear that way....

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by michele link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94335#msg94335 date=1081529278
    It gets annoying.I was with my 7 year old in the grocery store,no makeup looking like shit insecure enough.Well first this old man is staring at my tits ,then he sees me notice so he has to play it off like he is noticing my shirt has a newyork soccer team on it.So asks me were I lived there,Iam like its just a shirt I bought didnt notice what it said when I bought it never lived there.Then this little guy starts following me around,goes up to my daughter playing her game boy in the cart,hi she is pretty one, one he keeps saying.Doesnt speak much english.I say yeas one and walk on.Well every isle I go down there he is.This time he pats my daughter on the head.He sees Iam annoyed and goes sorry,then you married you married.Iam like yes, now looking annoyed he stands there and stares,finally leaves when I dont pay attention.I see nothing wrong with being a bitch to these people,women get abducted everyday,its best to not egg these people on.It gets old.especially when you go out of your way to look horrible to avoid this.It is hard when your blonde with big tits though.
    That sucks...I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that kind of shit.

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    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    The WORST is when they bum a cigarette to open conversation - I don't know why it should cost me $.25 to say that I am not interested!

    But what I really wanted to say was that it is different when you work in an SC. We get paid to be hit on. When a man approaches me in a non-traditional place, it feels like they are interrupting my private life.

    In general, men think that because you are in public you are fair game. If you having a bad day because (insert reason here), there is no sign we can make to let the world know that today is not the day. So we become a "bitch" because we were minding our own business, running our own errands, and didn't appreciate the interruption.

    At first, I am always polite, but clearly disinterested. After one polite “no”, most men understand and leave it at that. The ones that don't are the ones that make us unhappy about the whole process - the ones that we have to push away or give the finger. And they ruin it for the rest of men because so many don't follow protocol and deserve our respect for putting themselves out there... sometimes it is a *short*, kind, flattering exchange and other times you have to get the cops because he won't stop following you on the subway. And you never know what it will be.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

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    Senior Member Intellex's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Wow...do you really have to get cops and such? I didn't think that shit actually happened?

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I hated guys hitting on me aswell.. but since i usualy go out with my husband and kid i dont have to worry about it.. the most i get is stared at.. However.. When im not with my hubby.. Uh oh is all I have to say. It becomes bothersome after being hit on almost ALL of your adult life.. and I can understand her bitterness towards being hit on.. But I think that the way she handles it IS kindof crude and needs some smoothing out.. I just say " Sorry but im married" and if they are nice cool guys then they turn out to be a friend.. Ive made 2 new friends in the past year Most of them just say oh sorry and go on their way..


    EDIT: Oh yeah.. As for the guys that like to stare at certian areas. I have no quams about flipping out my little birdie Usualy i just glare or wave at them then point to my face.. they generally get the idea lmao!

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by Tragic-Beauty link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94357#msg94357 date=1081531747
    I hated guys hitting on me aswell.. but since i usualy go out with my husband and kid i dont have to worry about it.. the most i get is stared at.. However.. When im not with my hubby.. Uh oh is all I have to say. It becomes bothersome after being hit on almost ALL of your adult life.. and I can understand her bitterness towards being hit on.. But I think that the way she handles it IS kindof crude and needs some smoothing out.. I just say " Sorry but im married" and if they are nice cool guys then they turn out to be a friend.. Ive made 2 new friends in the past year Most of them just say oh sorry and go on their way..
    See...now that sounds normal and respectable.

    If some girl acted the aforementioned way I dunno what I'd do....although I really don't know what I'd do in any situation.

    The funniest thing is when you approach a girl for directions, or a question or something and she "thinks" you're hitting on her and gets all snotty. I pity those girls....

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94290#msg94290 date=1081512771
    Girls: Has a stranger ever approached you/ asked you out at a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did you respond? Did you like it?


    Guys: Have you ever approached/ asked a girl out in a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did the girl respond?




    I dont mind a guy approaching me aslong as he isnt pushy for a date.. when i dated starting out slow was always what i wanted.. So first would be coffie then a movie then dinner... ect ect.. Because really i dont know whats on your mind and what you want from me.


    Best bet be nice.. introduce yourself.. give her a nice comment.. ask how shes doing today ad what brings her there. and then say that you could help but notice her and you would like to know if she would like go do somthing with you.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I don't mind being hit on. It's flattering to know that more guys than just my SO find me attractive. I don't mind being asked out, either. The answer is always no and that I am happily involved in a serious relationship. Most of the guys are really cool about it and treat me respectfully after that, too. I am not bitchy or mean to them...and I thank them for the compliments, as well. If I feel that a guy is being overly pushy or forward, I will just say it to his face, "Excuse me, but what do you think you are going to accomplish by talking to me that way? Where are your manners?" If he doesn't apologize or change his tune, then the conversation is over and I let him know by saying, "Have a nice day." and walk away. I don't feel you accomplish much by acting "less than honorable" to anybody for any reason.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94399#msg94399 date=1081535561
    I don't mind being hit on. It's flattering to know that more guys than just my SO find me attractive. I don't mind being asked out, either. The answer is always no and that I am happily involved in a serious relationship. Most of the guys are really cool about it and treat me respectfully after that, too. I am not bitchy or mean to them...and I thank them for the compliments, as well. If I feel that a guy is being overly pushy or forward, I will just say it to his face, "Excuse me, but what do you think you are going to accomplish by talking to me that way? Where are your manners?" If he doesn't apologize or change his tune, then the conversation is over and I let him know by saying, "Have a nice day." and walk away. I don't feel you accomplish much by acting "less than honorable" to anybody for any reason.
    Kudos to you, definately the kind of person I'd respect and want to hang around with.

    So....what's your sign? lol

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I will go up and talk with a woman pretty much anywhere, but I want to kinda get a feel for them before I start to 'hit on them'. Just the way that I am.

    Of course...I look alot also. Don't know any guy that doesn't do that. Well.....I do.....but they aren't into women!
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94290#msg94290 date=1081512771
    Guys: Have you ever approached/ asked a girl out in a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did the girl respond?
    I asked a girl out once in a Burger King..She said yes and 2yrs later ripped my heart out and shredded it before my eyes.
    Mostly if I ask a woman out Dea hits me... or Dea has already asked her out,lol.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I really have had to get the cops - twice!
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blade is a D.j. link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94439#msg94439 date=1081539932
    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94290#msg94290 date=1081512771
    Guys: Have you ever approached/ asked a girl out in a mall, grocery store, gas station, park, or other public place, other than a bar or other common place to meet potential dates? How did the girl respond?
    I asked a girl out once in a Burger King..She said yes and 2yrs later ripped my heart out and shredded it before my eyes.
    Mostly if I ask a woman out Dea hits me... or Dea has already asked her out,lol.
    haha...sucks to get cockblocked by your wife!!

    Last time I actually asked a girl out we started dating, then she went to bootcamp and I forgot to write her, I had moved by the time she got back....wonder what the hell happened to her, she was pretty damn cool.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Everywhere I go, I get some kind of attention, and this isnt to sound like a conceited asshole. But I always have guys say things to me especially since I have green eyes, they'll say, "Nice eyes" and I smile. Im not a bitch if people say something nice. (Like in old navy 3 days ago i was buying those cheap little flip flops with sequins on them) and the male cashier said, "nice eyes" and there was no problem. Sadly, I blushed and he noticed.

    But I have had the occasional, "NICE ASS" or "WOW great rack" and I just give them an annoyed look. I am usually not much of a bitch unless my buttons get pressed.

    Last year I was walking towards the school parking lot and some guys started trying to get my attention. Being annpying as they were, I just turned and kept walking, and the little shit screams, "CONCEITED BITCH" lmao
    He got angry cause I wasnt responding. Maybe next time he could act like a MAN if he wanted my attention. So I just flipped him the bird.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    I can't go anywhere without getting harrassed! Weirdos follow me around in Wal-Mart when I'm shopping, or in the parking lot, library, mailbox place, bank, you name it. Hell I can't even 'safely' walk out my front door now because these two punks moved in below me and it seems every time I walk out they're standing around outside and start making stupid remarks at me. Bleh! And I'm not talking about guys who simply look or try to hit on a girl in a nice or normal way. I'm talking about they go out of their way to make sure I know they're staring *nastily*, follow me around, make rude or stupid remarks, etc. I don't make any effort to look good when I go out, and it doesn't make a difference. Sometimes I think a girl could go around in a potato sack carrying a sign that says 'Leave me alone I'm a stuck up bitch' and guys would STILL harrass her.

    If a guy actually approaches me in a normal, non-rude way, I won't be rude to him unless he doesn't take 'no' the first time. If he's one of the usual rude assholes I will generally ignore it first, then get rude back if they continue. IMO, if someone treats me with disrespect and continues when I'm making it clear I don't appreciate it, they no longer deserve any respect from me.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94460#msg94460 date=1081542762
    Everywhere I go, I get some kind of attention, and this isnt to sound like a conceited asshole. But I always have guys say things to me especially since I have green eyes, they'll say, "Nice eyes" and I smile. Im not a bitch if people say something nice. (Like in old navy 3 days ago i was buying those cheap little flip flops with sequins on them) and the male cashier said, "nice eyes" and there was no problem. Sadly, I blushed and he noticed.

    But I have had the occasional, "NICE ASS" or "WOW great rack" and I just give them an annoyed look. I am usually not much of a bitch unless my buttons get pressed.

    Last year I was walking towards the school parking lot and some guys started trying to get my attention. Being annpying as they were, I just turned and kept walking, and the little shit screams, "CONCEITED BITCH" lmao
    He got angry cause I wasnt responding. Maybe next time he could act like a MAN if he wanted my attention. So I just flipped him the bird.
    OK, I'd definately love to see pics of your eyes!

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    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by Tragic-Beauty link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94357#msg94357 date=1081531747
    ........ It becomes bothersome after being hit on almost ALL of your adult life.. and I can understand her bitterness towards being hit on.. But I think that the way she handles it IS kindof crude and needs some smoothing out.. I just say " Sorry but im married" and if they are nice cool guys then they turn out to be a friend.. Ive made 2 new friends in the past year Most of them just say oh sorry and go on their way.....
    The guys that get the really bitchy part are the ones whose response to "I am married" is "well hes not here now, how will he know?" those guys deserve some bitchyness if not a punch.

    I rarely if ever have had someone hit on me who wasnt mean about it. I don't know if mean is the right word, but mostly I just get guys who strut up to me then pretend they are all smooth or some crap and say "hey baby". wtf? when I meet someone the 2nd word out of thier mouth should not be 'baby', i don't even like SO's calling me that. then they sit there and act like I should just be drooling over them, then they useually try to kiss me? do i just look easy? wtf!? grrrr....

    I have had maybe 2 times when a guy actually hit on me and it was cool. once was in a club I like, he came over, introduced himself, kissed my hand, and asked me to dance. I did dance with him. I havent seen him since and don't mind that I haven't.

    the other time was at work, now guys hitting on me at work is ok because its my job and I get paid for it, so I will flirt and whatever.... anyway this guy was not a customer, at first I thought he was so I did my normal stuff, then I found out he was the djs brother and was getting a ride from him or something. at work i wear my ring on my other hand so i can't blame him for that. when I found out he wasnt a customer I told him I was married and he backed off into normal person mode. That was fine. I would have become friends with him but he was too much into drugs and would have gotten my husband and myself in trouble.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tragic-Beauty link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94364#msg94364 date=1081532209
    Best bet be nice.. introduce yourself.. give her a nice comment.. ask how shes doing today ad what brings her there. and then say that you could help but notice her and you would like to know if she would like go do somthing with you.
    Thats ok. as long as they walk away when they hear no. or at least move the conversation to friend mode. but its still a bit annoying when it happens sevral times a day...

    Quote Originally Posted by samart link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94426#msg94426 date=1081538404
    I will go up and talk with a woman pretty much anywhere, but I want to kinda get a feel for them before I start to 'hit on them'. Just the way that I am.

    Of course...I look alot also. Don't know any guy that doesn't do that. Well.....I do.....but they aren't into women!
    thats fine too. one of the biggest parts I hate is when a guy dosnet even know me and still hits on me. i am more then breasts! and even I will look at a hot girl on the street, i just dont stare like some creey guys do...

    another thing I hate is when guys touch me randomly. once I was walking up to an apartment office to get some apps with my sisters and a guy walking out of the office grabbed my arm and said "hey sweetie" or something real softly. i turned and hit him with that hand on the shoulder while saying "don't touch me" and then I walked into the building.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94468#msg94468 date=1081544742
    Weirdos follow me around in Wal-Mart

    Well, this explains a lot. It's Wal-Mart.

    Steer clear of it.



    -afx

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Personally, I couldn't bring myself to swoop in on some woman in sweats trying to grab some tampons and a bag of Friskies. I'd feel desperate and classless.. More importantly, I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with someone that would be receptive to such an approach either. Grocery stores, the gym, gas stations.. just not inducive of being valid pick-up joints. I don't consider someone wanting to get through their day without being annoyed by advances a "stuck up bitch" either... but more the personality type that I'm generally more attracted to and also the kind that lead to better LTR success for me anyways.

    I'm extroverted and social everywhere, but this has no gender or attraction boundries. It's always been warmly received and there is no sexual tension or aggression whatsoever. The cute woman in shorts gets the same treatment as the 70 year-old grandmother that cant reach the top shelf. If it leads to a phone number, great (even if it's a bingo invitation). It's not asked or pressured. As I'm 6'5/230 and a leather wearer, I feel I almost have to be in order to create comfort rather than any fear or intimidation. If I can make only that impression, I've done enough. I love to flirt, but it's a dull-roar, G-rated, non-suggestive and harmless.. and all females get it.

    I dunno.. there's absolutely no shortage of women at the local bars, music and dance clubs. These are the proper arena's to be aggressive. These are where I get my ya-ya's out, and can do so without feeling invasive or tacky. I like physical contact and this is really the only place it's appropriate and welcomed. If feel handicapped or inhibited otherwise. It also saves time/effort since that level of aggression is either received or rejected. I'd prefer to get the rejection cases out of the way rather than try to nurse a Starbucks relationship for 2 weeks to find out otherwise.

    I don't blame other guys, especially the younger ones. I was a skirt chaser 17-21 as well, but outgrew it. Single hangouts are fairly tough too since women usually travel in packs of two or three, or there is already a guy with them- so trying to break into that isn't the easiest thing in the world. Your more likely to find single, solo women elsewhere in everyday life.. but it's the sign of someone lazy, in my opinion. I'm still a go-getter, I just have a little more faith in kharma, fate, destiny, etc. that if I see something I want, I'll bump into her again sometime if it was meant to be, and someplace I have a little more freedom... I usually do. For those I don't, some might see it as a lost opportunity- I see it as one in a sea of thousands of opportunities. If I lived somewhere with less opportunities, maybe I'd change my tune.. but somehow I don't think I would. I'm a picky SOB with my women- they have to command a certain level of respect and class; it's natural Darwinism to me that the kind of women I desire wouldn't be susceptible to such tactics/methods anyways.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Approaching Women/ Being Approached

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94538#msg94538 date=1081558415
    ..... I don't consider someone wanting to get through their day without being annoyed by advances a "stuck up bitch" either... but more the personality type that I'm generally more attracted to and also the kind that lead to better LTR success for me anyways.
    thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94538#msg94538 date=1081558415
    I'm extroverted and social everywhere, but this has no gender or attraction boundries. It's always been warmly received and there is no sexual tension or aggression whatsoever. The cute woman in shorts gets the same treatment as the 70 year-old grandmother that cant reach the top shelf. If it leads to a phone number, great (even if it's a bingo invitation). It's not asked or pressured. As I'm 6'5/230 and a leather wearer, I feel I almost have to be in order to create comfort rather than any fear or intimidation. If I can make only that impression, I've done enough. I love to flirt, but it's a dull-roar, G-rated, non-suggestive and harmless.. and all females get it.
    thats fine too, thats also what I mean by friend mode vs hit on mode...

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94538#msg94538 date=1081558415
    I dunno.. there's absolutely no shortage of women at the local bars, music and dance clubs. These are the proper arena's to be aggressive. These are where I get my ya-ya's out, and can do so without feeling invasive or tacky. I like physical contact and this is really the only place it's appropriate and welcomed. If feel handicapped or inhibited otherwise. It also saves time/effort since that level of aggression is either received or rejected. I'd prefer to get the rejection cases out of the way rather than try to nurse a Starbucks relationship for 2 weeks to find out otherwise.
    exactly. also the reason there is only one club I go to. chivalry is imortant there and I appriciate that.... some dance clubs I have been to random guys will just walk (or "dance") up and without even an introduction or hello they will start rubbing thier penis on my butt! ewww, so I just dont even go now. (if I am going to have some stranger try to rub his dick all over me, he better damn well be paying for it)

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94538#msg94538 date=1081558415
    I don't blame other guys, especially the younger ones. I was a skirt chaser 17-21 as well, but outgrew it. .........
    thats prolly part of my problem... being just 23 and all.... and I got engaged shortly after turning 22, so all the guys my age are just annoying. but then you have the 50 plus year olds giving me marrige proposals and such.... (not even at at sc!)..... but thats another story.....

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8121;start=msg94538#msg94538 date=1081558415
    I'm a picky SOB with my women- they have to command a certain level of respect and class; it's natural Darwinism to me that the kind of women I desire wouldn't be susceptible to such tactics/methods anyways.
    I am very picky too. mostly anyguy who thinks (or thought technicly) that I was easy or that he was ever so smooth just didnt cut it, some girls might fall for those tactics (or even like them), just not me.....

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