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Thread: Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

  1. #1
    PoleKitten21
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    Default Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Okay I have been working at my club for about 3 weeks. I love it, I really do yet, I have a few issues.
    #1-I have a serious issues with asking for dances. I talk to a guy for quite along time. I am fully aware this isnt a good. My problem is I want to ask for dances, but I dont want to seem rude or pushy. Also I would like my approah to seem easy going and genuine.
    #2- I work at an upscale gentlemen's club, I am one of three black females who work there. Now although I havent had anyone say anything derogatory to me. I have noticed that I do not get a big stage response, (I know, I know it's just an advertisement, but I tend to approach the guys that tip me.) which kinda worries me, but I am willing to contribute this to the fact that my stage performance isnt well... "polished", to be honest it may look a bit awkward.
    #3- I have been getting alot of questions about me wearing glasses, but of course I also get the "I love your glasses" scenerio too, well Im debating on dropping my glasses for a few nights and seeing where I get with that. What do you ladies think?

    Also, how do you guys respond to the guys who ask what is the difference between V.I.P. and table dances...I ask because I want to say something tempting and true without them thinking they are going to go play "suck & blow" with me.

    THANKS SO MUCH LADIEs, I appreciate your help
    :

  2. #2
    God/dess
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Ok, let's start with the simple thing, the glasses: they can be sexy on the right girl but sometimes they are a distraction. Get contacts or leave the glasses off, depending on how bad your vision is (I have to wear contacts; I'm so nearsighted I'd fall off the stage), and just give it a shot for a little while. You might feel more stripperly without them.

    Being comfortable on stage takes time and practice; don't sweat it. Some girls never become big draws on stage but still make plenty of money on the floor. The stage is only going to account for a small percentage of your money anyways, and just because a guy doesn't tip you onstage doesn't mean he won't buy a dance.

    Asking for dances: you're not being pushy or rude, you're just doing your job. Would you feel rude if you were a waitress and you were asking the guy if he liked a drink? No, you'd just be making sure he had everything he needed. Approach it like that, you've got a service to offer and he's in the market for that service. It's nice to talk to the customers, but they're going to expect you to ask for a dance, more than likely, so just do it! It will become more natural the more you practice. Relax and realize you're working, and selling dances is your job.

    Good luck to you!

  3. #3
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Yes...drop the glasses...for the reason Susan mentioned.

    I know that when I do poorly on stage (not in the mood, not the right song...etc) I don't do as well on my rounds right afterwards. The stage IS an advertisement, and although you don't make a lot of money while on the stage...people see that you are bored or whatever and may decide to pass on a lap dance or trip to VIP. I wouldn't tell anyone to depend on the money that they could make on stage, but you really need to polish up that stage dancing if you want to look "more marketable". Watch yourself in the mirrors...moving too fast? Slow down and move more sexily and sensually. Do a little bit more floor work, and don't be afraid to make eye contact!! And, going to the guys that tip you is good. Go up and thank them for tipping you! Some guys won't buy a dance right away...but they'll remember you for your manners and will most likely buy a dance later. I also always go up to the customers who have bought multiple dances from me all night (if I have not gotten them up to the champagne room) and tell them that I really enjoyed dancing for them, I hope they had a great time and that I hope to see them soon. When they come back, they remember me because I "went the extra mile". They remember the difference between a great dancer and a great dancer with great customer service.

    The men who get snotty when you ask them for a dance are extrememly annoying...but, these are the guys who go sit at a restaurant, while talking on a cell phone and get attitudal with the waitress for trying to get their order. Leave them be. Just smile, and walk away. I don't sit and talk to customers for more than a few minutes (unless its really slow and I've already done a few rounds). If it doesn't seem like they are going to buy a dance, then I tell them that I need to walk around and that I will be back to check on them a while later. If a guy wants to just sit and talk all night, that's fine, but tell him that the VIP room would be a more appropriate place to do so...he'll have you all to himself (unlimited conversations and dances). On the floor, you need to do your rounds.

    Good luck and keep us updated!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chynadoll702's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Oh wow.......your beautiful......no worries....As far as glasses........contacts are better I wear glasses so I know...Ever think about colored contacts??? I think you would be so exotic looking if you tried getting maybe honey or hazel colored contacts..I wear colored ones myself and trust me they draw alot of attention.....sexy brown skin and beautiful light color eyes (how could you go wrong).I was feeling weird about dancing at 1st but then I started thinking about it....I'm different.....I'm kenyan and thai im the only girl of this mix at my club and you know what!!! im gonna bank from it....What you should do is find what sets you apart from the rest and shine .......Also remember...... 9 times outta 10 at least half the guys in your club dream beautiful black women...........and getting a dance from one is a dream come true
    Last edited by GirlFriday; 10-16-2004 at 04:23 PM.

  5. #5
    Featured Member Chili Palmer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    To answer:

    A shitload of men who go to club are too wussy to approach a dancer (or hell, women in general). They are waiting for you to ask them; if you wait for them to volunteer, well, you're prolly gonna wait a long time.

    As for the glasses, personally I dig them (as long as they aren't the Lisa Loeb goofy glasses). I can't argue with contacts, though.

    In re: your response from the stage, some people just don't dig women of color. That's just the way it is. Personally I prefer African-American and Latina women, but that's just the way I am.

    My advice: when you are onstage, make a point to be friendly to everyone at the tip rail. When you are done with your routine, make sure to come down and thank everyone who tipped you--they have already given you money and are your best bet for giving you more--ask them if they want some (not "a") lapdances.

    When not onstage, look around the club. Find the guy whose eyes are boring a hole right through you, whose head moves like he's a part of the Haunted Mansion following you around the room. THAT is the guy who wants laps NOW--do not pass go, go directly to that PL and get him in the lap booth.

    SCs are not for the fainthearted--if you can't ask for laps, you're doing no one a favor, especially yourself. Get over it.

    CP

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    I have the same problem. Two old school tricks, non-pushy: tuck a $20 in your garter to show the men in a non-verbal way that that's the starting price for dances. And I always treat the money exchange part (before the dance) like it's an pesky afterthought, and act all Marylin Monroe-like (sweet and breathy) to get the money, it's easier for both parties! another tip: ask, "Are you ready for me [now]?" Especially if you've cruised the customer before, it puts him a little on the defensive. Works for me!
    Good luck, sweetie, you'll be fine. There are great nights and not so great nights. Be strong, you'll have the world on a string.

  7. #7
    Newbie lookers's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Glasses? Keep them!!!!!!!!! Glasses are looked at as something un sexy by women, who cares what girls think? Get yourself a school girl, teacher, librarian, nurse outfits! I wear my glasses all the time. For the first year I danced I went with out them, as soon as I started wearing them on the floor, my money increased dramatically. I have even had customers say they have gotten dances with me for the sole purpose of my glasses.

    You must ask for dances! This is where you make the real money. Even if the guy is rude when you ask, don't let him spoil your mood. Many guys just want to be finessed a little bit, don't waste time on these guys if its busy, go on to some one else. If its slow, your ability to talk to some one for a long time will come in great handy. This is how you will build up a regular customer basis, just try to talk some before and some after your dance(if he spent good $). Most customers know the real deal, just don't want to be made aware of it.
    Last edited by GirlFriday; 10-16-2004 at 04:24 PM.

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    Senior Member AnneKatherine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    When a patron asks you, "What's the difference between a VIP dance and a table dance?", tell him/her, "Aside from the price difference, the VIP will be more upclose and personal". There are other variations to that statement.......however, that response tells the truth and also keeps you from getting a solicitation charge, in case the patron is a cop! All in all, just push the VIP room as often as you can......remember, this is a business, just throw some sex appeal into it. One other statement I make when hustling for dances is when I ask him/her if they want a dance and they accept....I immediately push for the costlier dances, without being pushy(or seeming that way). Getting used to hustling takes time, but practice makes perfect
    Money is congealed energy, and releasing it releases life's possibilities. ~Joseph Campbell

  9. #9
    Featured Member SCGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    I would say try it without the glasses....they tend to hide a beautiful face and sexy eyes...just my opinion.

    As for asking for dances....don't! Stroke their arm or their hand and sweetly say, "you know, I'm really kinda new at this...I feel really comfortable around you...I'd like to be able try dancing for you." Don't make it sound like the dreaded "wanna dance?" Instead of asking if they want a dance, make it sound more like you WANT to do a dance FOR THEM. Does that make sense? Play up the fact that you're new! Guys dig that!!! Trust me! I don't even dance but when I go in for amateur night, I have guys lined up for lap dances and I don't even do them! The more comfortable you act around them, the more comfortable they'll feel. Make them seem like they are the experienced one helping you out. Guys love to be the gentleman! But it's all just a thought, don't know if it would work for you or not.
    "You did then what you knew how to do; when you knew better, you did better" ~Maya Angelou

  10. #10
    PoleKitten21
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    I decided to keep my glasses(cause everyone at the club agreed that I had that naughty but nice look), no one else in my club wears them so it makes me stand out a bit more.
    Also lookers, ideas on the themes with glasses are great.

    I go back to work tomorrow, so my goal is to ask for the dances (in a creative manner) and get to the VIP room as many times as possible. I think I will wear my little secratary outfit tommorow night. Couldnt hurt since everyone is going to be in dresses.

    I will let you guys know how everything works out...thanx for all the advice

  11. #11
    God/dess
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Quote Originally Posted by PoleKitten21 link=board=25;threadid=8181;start=msg97205#msg9720 5 date=1082005580
    I decided to keep my glasses(cause everyone at the club agreed that I had that naughty but nice look), no one else in my club wears them so it makes me stand out a bit more.
    Also lookers, ideas on the themes with glasses are great.

    Imo you should at least *try* a few nights with out the glassses...... Your new to this and this industry is ALL about making $$$, infcat as much as possible, so i think its important that you try out different things, just to see what really works and brings in the most money.

    Also one you mentioned that everyone at the club said to keep your glasses, well...... I wouldn't trust the opinions of the other girls in the club. I am sure they are very nice and have been helpful but they are not your friends and you are competition, so they are not all going to have your best intentions at heart.... pls don't forget that.

    I maybe wrong about the latter because i am not even a stripper myself yet, but i went to an ALL-girls school which is probably why i wouldn't trust them lol

    Seraya.


  12. #12
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Need the Kick In The Butt To Ask For Dances

    Take a few Jaegerbombs, or whatever the girls are drinking these days, you'd be suprised at the good they will do if you aren't a seasoned alci-holic......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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