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Thread: nice customer - what should i do ?

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    Curious Guest
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    Default nice customer - what should i do ?

    Hi Ladies,

    I was divorced about 1 year 5 months 3 days ago. I went to a club in Buffalo, NY several weeks back with a group of my male friends ( I am male also). I thought the women that were working in the club were very nice but of course they are there just for looking and having some 'play time' that was my sole intention.

    What happened next was I turned around and literally bumped into a stripper that felt like we knew each other for a long time. Lets call her Lindsay. Now I find myself bringing her presents, spending as much time as I can there etc,. I dont want to be her ATM forever and I truly have feelings for her. I look at this woman as an intelligent, hardworking goal oriented individual with children and a good outlook on life. I don't want her for sex or etc. or have any onenight stands I would like to date her in the true sense of the word and develop a relationship etc..

    She tells me somethings, that I believe are personal, but other things I of course know are hidden for her safety.
    I am not stupid as to what is going on. In your opinions is there any chance for me with her ??

    Thank you in advance

    I need a womans point of view, especially if this has happend to you -- which I am sure has.

    M

  2. #2
    Senior Member Pixie's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    If she's in a club and accepting your money, she's not interested in you that way. Sorry. If she were, she'd make a move.

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    If she has romantic feelings for you she will let you know. Otherwise you are a client. That's about as honest as it gets. It's up to you if you want to see her professionaly or not, but it's up to her if she wants to make it personal.
    If she hasn't told you she's interested in being your g/f well then..... Tread lightly.
    Good Luck to you !

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    Nope.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    ditto
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  6. #6
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    It is quite unfortunate you met her in a club.

    Dropping dollars and gifts on her is totally the wrong thing to do. Continue to do so and you will be her customer permanantly.

    Dating to begin with is risky - most dates don't work out. Now lets throw in the whole "met in a strip club" aspect of it. I know, it is unfair, but picking up guys in strip clubs has probably a low success factor for a gal - ya know what I mean?

    So she is gonna be taking a big chance on you - a bigger chance than a friend of a friend of a friend, which lets face it - tends to be how we find our partners.

    Then the next decsion: it comes between paying rent, kids clothes, and putting food on the table, and putting all that at risk pursuing a relationship with a guy she met in a strip club that might not work out and (poof) - there goes that income... ya know what I mean?

    If she has kids - dude, those kids are gonna come before any kind of risk over a guy she met in a strip club if she REALLY is a good mother.

    If you really want to try and pursue a relationship with this gal, you got to get the money out of the picture. All the usual tricks for attracting a woman goes out the door. Gifts? Can't do it man. Buying dances from her? Can't do it man. Flashing the wealth? Can't do it man (she'll call ya a dollar tease.)

    You got to do it purely on personality.

    The same thing happened to me too. I am to cheap to hang out in strip clubs - tapping the keyboard on the internet is a whole lot cheaper!

    But one day, I just went for some reason. Got curious about a girl, unfortunately got to know her (not because she was "bad" - just merely the circumstances), and really just had to chalk it up as "one of God's practical jokes" of meeting what would be a really good partner in a really bad circumstance.

    Lesson I learned: You will never see me in a strip club again. If I meet a "the" gal, I am gonna meet her in the proper circumstances.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Freedom's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    I hate to give you false hopes but, several of my friends have dated their customers with good results I might add.
    I have never dated my customers.

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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    sucker!

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    Veteran Member MotherDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    That girl is GOOD.

    The first time I look into a guys eyes I always try to make a major connection. Even if its fake for me.
    She tells tons of guys the same spew about herself and probably changes it to cater to their fantasy. You aren't real to her. She doensn't care about you. Like you said. You are her ATM. Thats it.

    Sorry guy. Maybe you should ask her straight out how she feels. If she hesitates even a little she doesn't want you.

    Don't go back to this club. Go play somewhere else where you won't get burned.
    Those who bring sunshine into lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

  10. #10
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    How do you know she's not happily married to an understanding husband, has kids, has a mortgage, and all that? If so, it's not to her benefit to let you in on that - in her view, you're obviously going to hang around only as long as you think you have a chance with her.

    But there's a chance that you have a chance. It's about .5% (that's point-five percent). What the hell, people buy Lotto tickets on worse odds.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by metropolea link=board=1;threadid=8235;start=msg96367#msg96367 date=1081884288
    I was divorced about 1 year 5 months 3 days ago.
    And obviously not over it if you report the timespan in year/month/day format. I'm betting you were going to include hours and minutes but thought better of it?

    Now I find myself bringing her presents, spending as much time as I can there etc,.
    Hey rebound guy- yer getting taken for a ride. Get over your divorce, move on, and stop flooding the first cute woman that (falsely) treats you nice with affection.

    I don't want her for sex or etc. or have any onenight stands I would like to date her in the true sense of the word and develop a relationship etc..
    Well, of course.. I mean, any healthy relationship is totally devoid of sex.. :

    It honestly sounds to me like this is just a simple case of two users. You're using her to try and convince yourself you're over your last marriage. She's using you to make the car payments, rent and get gifts. You know this yourself, otherwise you'd be making a move rather than posting on the internet to get confirmation of what you already know.

    So yah, lemme confirm for you what you already know. There's nothing there. Get over your current condition, start mingling in normal places, realize your self-worth.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  12. #12
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pixie link=board=1;threadid=8235;start=msg96419#msg96419 date=1081888536
    If she's in a club and accepting your money, she's not interested in you that way. Sorry. If she were, she'd make a move.

    I dont dance for guys i like or have respect for.. OR I find it extreamly hard. Nor do i take their money.. or like doing so.. So basically.. What she said

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    She might like being treated nicely without the emotional reprecussions.

    If you say you don't want her for sex, then why change anything?

    Although it's possible you could have a relationship with her, it's extremely unlikely.

    I've only ever dated one guy I met in a club, and I asked him to stop coming in immediately, PLUS we already had a few mutual friends it turned out.

    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    My Reply.

    First thank you to all from a patron in MGC,
    ( some may know me there as the guy who gave most of the ladies easter bunny ears while I was waiting for L*** to show up( she never did), hey I like everyone).

    I have made up my mind- First I will see her one more time. I will spend no more money there or on her from this day forward.

    I will wait ( as she has my phone # and email address)
    and see what happens. I won't get my hopes up.

    IF what the ladies that are strippers said here are true- then basically you all think alike and have the same outlook. Is that true ?
    I find that hard to believe, maybe I just dont know enough of you/her. It is a tough job - I dont know if I could survive - it seems like it takes a lot of determination, hardwork and too many sacrifices. The damn thiing about it is that - I admire all of you for doing it and keeping your heads on straight and maybe this is the reason for trying to get involved.

    Thanks again

    T at the MGC in Buff





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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno link=board=1;threadid=8235;start=msg96713#msg96713 date=1081920199

    But there's a chance that you have a chance. It's about .5% (that's point-five percent). What the hell, people buy Lotto tickets on worse odds.
    Good one!!!
    NO chance,2nd chance, last chance.Your chances are....
    outside chance, take a chance, another chance..

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    Veteran Member sandi_g's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    If she hasn't made, or spoken of, any kind of attempt to see you outside of the club yet, I hate to say it but -honestly- she's milking you for all it's worth (the free gifts and stuff).



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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    The odds are 25 to 1 against you, if not higher. IMHO you should cool your ardor and see the reaction if she thinks she might not see you for awhile. If she does not offer an alternative enjoyment of your company spontaneously outside of work, she is milking a RIL (regular in love).

    I have known hundreds of dancers and the closest I have every gotten to seeing a dancer outside of work was when I took 2 of them to a free lunch (to them) on their way to work, and one I bought a cup of tea for after a roust by the cops.

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    Veteran Member NVJosh's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    I think you're asking the wrong people. You should be asking her if she's interested, not us. It may break your heart, and that's probably better than breaking your wallet in the long run.

    Besides, if she says no, you know where you stand and can choose whether to keep spending money on her or to have fond memories. Plus, you know she's not a dating possibility, so you can go look at other options. As long as you're hung up on her, its likely to affect any other dates you may go on/want to go on.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    I will dance for anyone who walks into the door. Find the guy attractive? Good...then it may help me get more money...connection? Even better...I'll probably end up in the Champagne Room charging $400 an hour.

    I am at the club working to make money...not to meet future marriage material. I like everyone that I dance for...everyone has their own positive traits. But, that doesn't mean that I want anything to do with them outside of the club. I make that very clear. I do not want people spending their money on me with the hopes that I will "see the light". I want to see the money, but not at the expense of someone's emotional/financial well-being. I still make a lot of money though because I tell them, "Well, you could spend your money on me here knowing that I am being straight up honest with you...or you could spend your money on someone outside of the club who is just using you for the money and you'll never get a return on it. At least here at the club you'll get some dances and great conversation." **smile, smile, wink, wink**

    I would just pretend like nothing happened. If she's really interested, you'll find out soon enough. Running around after her trying to "find her true feelings" is just going to scare her off and put you on her "Psychos to avoid" list. Just enjoy what you have now. A great ATF and some fun times to remember.

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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    This is just too funny. I just posted a similar post in another thread (in the Hustler Hut forum), it seems like we should form our own support group. I didn't realize how common this is until I registered at this forum. Well, I guess, I was right on when I picked my moniker.

    What I also find funny from some of the responses is some resntment towards the guy. I bet he is probably a nicer person than the typical stripper boyfriend, but, you know women don't fall for nice guys, no matter how hard they try to deny it...

    Cheers everyone

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    Senior Member Pixie's Avatar
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    Default Re:nice customer - what should i do ?

    Quote Originally Posted by TypicalCustomer link=board=1;threadid=8235;start=msg98008#msg98008 date=1082170040

    What I also find funny from some of the responses is some resntment towards the guy. I bet he is probably a nicer person than the typical stripper boyfriend, but, you know women don't fall for nice guys, no matter how hard they try to deny it...
    Is this not resentment on your part towards dancers? The assumption that a) all dancers are dating "typical stripper boyfriends" and b) that the "typical stripper boyfriend" is the cliched abusive, money-grubbing pimp-like lazyass that Hollywood portrays. My boyfriend is an amazing guy who treats me better than any customer has ever even thought to treat me, who knows me, the person, not me the simpering curly haired party girl dancer, who loves me and supports me and is there for me. I'm sure you'll find, if you look around the site, that many of the other girls have similar boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/fiances/etc/.

    It seems, from a dancer's perspective, very stupid and naive of guys to think that there's a "real connection" present in dancer/customer interactions. The guy hands over $20, for which he expects to get the sensual attentions of a gorgeous lady. When said gorgeous lady gives her sensual attentions to him, said guy falls in love. When the gorgeous lady says nice things, he takes them to mean that he has a chance, when he's really fueling their "friendly relationship" by continuing to hand her twenties.

    I highly recommend the "Raisins" episode of South Park for any guy who thinks a stripper likes him.

    I'm not trying to say that dancers aren't human beings with human feelings which can occasionally be affected. But if you have to ask, she doesn't "actually" like you in a romantic sense--if she did, you'd know it.

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