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Thread: life sucks....

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default life sucks....

    Does anyone else ever feel or think this sometimes?....

    I do...alot...more often than not these days....The one I blame is me...I've made such a mess of things...past mistakes hang over me like a black cloud still...I can't do anything to fix the fucked up situations I face on the job...and in my financial ordeals...

    I know there are people out there...even on this board...who are going through a whole lot more...my heart goes out to them...but it still doesn't make the pain and sadness go away...I sometimes feel like what's the point in continuing...even in the midst of trying to pursue new things...

    Forgive me for sharing darkness...I guess I'm just wondering out loud...if I'll ever see happiness again...

    (and for the record...I'm not posting this to get a reaction...nor is there any underlying motive...as some may think)
    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Topaz,

    To me it sounds like you could use someone to talk to, about some of the feelings you are experiencing. I would recommend talking to a professional or a very close friend. Sometimes just talking about some of the feelings you have is the best thing.

    I have been in similar situations, but it always seems they work out for the best. Sometimes it may not seem it at the time, but later on, when you look back, they seem to be for the best.

    If you need to talk, drop me a line at [email protected]
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    You can also drop me a line, I am a licensed counselor with my undergrad working towards my masters... [email protected].


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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Hey Hon,

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. We all do sometimes. A few years ago, I was at my lowest. I had to hit bottom before I could pick myself up. I still fight my demons every day, but you find a way to move passed them and carry on, learning from the mistakes as you go.

    I'm not a counselor or anything like that, so I can't offer professional help, but if you ever need to talk, or just rant, I'm here.

    Please take care hon,

    ~Rhi~

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    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    yup.

    pretty much every second of everyday. you're not alone in those fealings.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Yep I third it, know those feelings well. Darkness is my only friend at times.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    trust me i hit a low this week to so many things went wrong i did something real stupid that will bother me for awhile but i will survie it and you will to i am also here for you if you need anything [email protected]

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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Solitude can suck at times. Believe me, I'm still single and do a lot of things by myself (like going to SC's). But I also do things one might expect to do with family and/or acquaintances, like going to the beach or to the movies. I also have to make ends meet in my finances. Just don't let it all get to you, there's always tomorrow



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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Hiyas Topaz!

    Hmmm, doesn't sound too unusual to me. What's encouraging is you recognize the fucked up things in your life, and also put the blame squarely where it belongs- yourself. In my opinion, that puts you waaay over so many others who can never improve their situation since they are too busy spinning a pointing finger everywhere else but it's true source.

    As a fellow leo, I can tell you that the low points in our lives are those times when we feel caged and unable to prowl the plains as the Kings/Queens of the jungle that we were born to do. Deep down, leo's live for adversity... even if we aren't able to admit it. It keeps us on our toes, challenges us physically and mentally, and we've always managed to keep afloat despite how many curve balls the world around us pitches our way. The secret seems to be to learn how to tap into that fire.. since no situation, no person, and no financial condition can ever take that away.

    Look into your past and notice you've kicked darkness' ass time and time again (you're still here, eh?), the score is like 2037 to 0 by now... and as a result a stronger, better knowledged person because of it. Once you can recognize this trend, as well as have the self-esteem in yourself as the savior that has carried you through it all before.. then can you start laughing back in the face of adversity with confidence. Yes, we live in a world that sucks, full of people that suck, and often times we ourselves suck.. but I wouldn't have it any other way! Sure beats boredom.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Senior Member Giselle666's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    I go through this every couple of months.....things just seem so bad I can't see straight. Like what's in my future, I need money, what am I doing w/ my life, etc.., etc... and on and on. But what I TRY to do is look at the good things I already have. Don't let the bad things destroy you so much that you miss all the good stuff. That's my new biggest fear: that I'll die miserable b/c I never appreciated what I had (which should mean more than $$$).

  11. #11
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=8579;start=msg101016#msg1010 16 date=1082836156
    Hiyas Topaz!

    Hmmm, doesn't sound too unusual to me. What's encouraging is you recognize the fucked up things in your life, and also put the blame squarely where it belongs- yourself. In my opinion, that puts you waaay over so many others who can never improve their situation since they are too busy spinning a pointing finger everywhere else but it's true source.

    As a fellow leo, I can tell you that the low points in our lives are those times when we feel caged and unable to prowl the plains as the Kings/Queens of the jungle that we were born to do. Deep down, leo's live for adversity... even if we aren't able to admit it. It keeps us on our toes, challenges us physically and mentally, and we've always managed to keep afloat despite how many curve balls the world around us pitches our way. The secret seems to be to learn how to tap into that fire.. since no situation, no person, and no financial condition can ever take that away.

    Look into your past and notice you've kicked darkness' ass time and time again (you're still here, eh?), the score is like 2037 to 0 by now... and as a result a stronger, better knowledged person because of it. Once you can recognize this trend, as well as have the self-esteem in yourself as the savior that has carried you through it all before.. then can you start laughing back in the face of adversity with confidence. Yes, we live in a world that sucks, full of people that suck, and often times we ourselves suck.. but I wouldn't have it any other way! Sure beats boredom.
    Gosh Ploecat,
    You really summed it up ! ( By the way..I am a leo too)

    Topaz,
    I think a lot of it has to do with your money issues. When we are broke we tend to dwell on every negative thing in our lives.
    Even more when we are alone. Do you have any pets ?
    If not you might want to consider buying or adopting one.
    Just a thought..
    I am here too if you need to talk..
    ,
    Farrah
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Veteran Member honeygymgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Girl,

    I have been there also YOU ARE NOT ALONE AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE POST!

    I also have done a few things I am not proud of but you know what you get up the next day and you try to learn and start over.

    Starting over for me was going from having it all to nothing. Right now I am in the middle. I had to struggle a lot but will it be wroth it in the end F* yeah!

    I was soo down and hard on myself that it was hard for me to get out of bed. One day I was crying and crying for no reason having a pity party for myself and then my mother who I love dearly came to my room and told me Mija which means Daughter in spanish why are you soo unhappy what can i do to take away these hurtful things you feel? I told her oh mom I have so many problems I don't know where to start. She said get dress I want to take you somewhere I told her I can't I will go just in sweats and a T-Shirt she said that is fine just get up and be ready to go in 15 mins.

    So I am ready to go and she takes me to a 2 places which I thank her to this day... One was a homeless shalter where I voultneer my time to feed them I was so shocked at the children and how they have to sleep out in the streets and not like me in a warm bed.

    Second, was to a Burn Tech. sation in her hospital that she works at. She made me voulnteer once again to help them. Here I was thinking how fat, ugly, nobody will ever want me again and their are these burned residents who can't do anything about it. Were they sad adn depressed and crying like I was HELL NO! They were all SO HAPPY, POSTIVE, TONS OF ENERGY! WILLING TO LOVE YOU FOR YOU!

    Then I asked her to take me to church. Where I prayed to give me strength and pull me out of my funk. And power of prayer works sweetie you just have to believe in YOURSELF! YOU HAVE TO WANT A BETTER LIFE AND START LIVING YOUR DAY FOR YOU AND DOING MORE FOR YOURSELF! I don't care what you did FORGIVE AND FORGET LEARN FROM IT AND CALL IT A LOST AND MOVE ON!

    I KNOW EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THIS I CAME OUT OF IT AND I AM STILL STANDING HAPPY, AND I LOOK FORWARD TO ALL MY DAYS! I AM HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK I HOPE YOU DO FEEL BETTER SWEETS!

    Love Yourself Like Nobody Else Could Then you will have that everlasting love we all search for!

  13. #13
    Veteran Member Weluckyfew's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    there's a reason why my name here and my Yahoo e-mail ID is weluckyfew...it's a reminder of how unspeakably lucky I think we are - not just compared to a lot of people in the world today but compared to the entire history of mankind we have so many more opportunites/freedoms/chances for happiness, fufillment and satisfaction.

    I hear what you're saying, i feel dark sometimes too but one of the things that helps kick me out of it is realizing how selfish it is for me to squander the opportunities that most people can't even dream of having.

    As stupid as it may sound, reading the NYTimes on any given day makes me better appreciate what i have - seeing how many people have to struggle just for survival, and how many easily lose that struggle, motivates me to get out of my whiny funk and do something with my time.... that's my thing

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    Senior Member jennworthington's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    I agree w- you audio- this is a great place to feel supported, and Honey, that was a wonderful post! I worked with mentally retarded adults before I danced and it was a daily reality check. No matter how bad things are there are people who are worse off than you. I also beat the crap out of myself when I do something wrong. Forgive yourself and move on. (if God can forgive you, you can forgive yourself!) I remember when I was a teen and I absolutely hated myself........couldnt find one good thing to say, and one day I was leafing through a magazine and saw this Noxema ad (2 pager) of a girl with her face pressed up to her bathroom mirror, scrutinizing her face. Underneath this pic it said "every day you face your toughest critic." I cut it out and hung it on the wall to remind myself that I was my own worst enemy! I was the one who cause myself pain by re-hashing every dumb thing i ever did, large and small. Cut yourself a break List 10 things you like about yourself and then 10 things you have going for you (youth, health, friends, whatever.) Stick them where you can see them every day.
    Good luck and peace to you!
    Jen
    No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true......

  15. #15
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    I was pretty blue lately- I was doing the usual being grumpy and hopeless thing, and on top of that, I was physically down- my knees were messed up and so I was stuck in the house.
    I just got tired of wasting time being sad and hopeless- I made myself clean the house Spring-Cleaning style, write letters and buy gifts for people, learn about things from the internet, and listen to other people's troubles...
    My advice: I think the trick is just finding a way to ignore the little part of your brain that hijacks the rest of you into feeling horrible and losing desire to do anything. Like jenworthington said....
    PS Exercise some- get out in the sunlight and fresh air and walk around. There's a big world out there to enjoy.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Thanks everyone....

    Forgive myself...yeah...it is easier said than done....especially when the monthly credit bill comes in...reminding me of how stupid I was when I used it like I have unlimited cashflow...

    And when review/evaluation time is back again at work...just seeing the word review reminds me of the bad ones I've had in the past...and how those past mistakes were used against me last year...when they threatened to fire me...

    I still have the "If you don't meet our expectations...your fired" cloud hanging over me...and I feel like I'm surrounded by people that don't think I'm capable of doing anything...I even over heard one of my 'co-workers'...make the 'well you have to wonder about the maturity level of someone that gets tattoos and piercings' comment...they make fun of my diet too...among other things....It feels REAL good to know that people think so highly of you...

    Like I said before...I know that there are many others who are worse off...who are going through a lot more...I should just stop whining and get over it right...Well that's easier said than done too...'cause the money needed to make the changes needed isn't there....

    I've fucked things up so much...dug the hole so deep for myself...that getting out and overcoming all of this...seems impossible....I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel...

    Continuing on...is difficult...

    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

  17. #17
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    The one I blame is me...I've made such a mess of things...past mistakes hang over me like a black cloud still...I can't do anything to fix the fucked up situations I face on the job...and in my financial ordeals...

    I know there are people out there...even on this board...who are going through a whole lot more...my heart goes out to them...but it still doesn't make the pain and sadness go away...I sometimes feel like what's the point in continuing...even in the midst of trying to pursue new things...

    Forgive me for sharing darkness...I guess I'm just wondering out loud...if I'll ever see happiness again...
    The US Constitution guarantees us the right to the pursuit of happiness. Nobody ever said that a lot of effort wasn't involved in that pursuit ! When my ex and I broke up 10 years ago I wound up with a son to feed, $10 grand in joint credit card debt which I got stuck with, zero child support payments, and a health industry job which looked great on paper but which only actually paid me about $7 an hour after taxes and transportation and child care expenses. I really thought that I was facing a no-win scenario, that my son's future would be ruined i.e. no college, and that the present would be filled with bill collectors.

    To deal with the situation I packed up and moved to a different area where the health industry income potential was significantly higher ! Yes, moving was traumatic, but earning more money was the only way that I was ever going to get clear of the bill collectors. Once I got to the new area, I also discovered that exotic dancing could provide enough earnings potential for me to deal with my pile of financial problems in less than a year !!! I buckled down and danced my butt off, and within 9 months or so I was in the black again and able to actually start saving money.

    I guess my point here is that even if things look bleak from where you're standing right now, if you're willing to move to a different viewpoint (different city, different state, different job) things might start to look a whole lot better for you the same way that they did for me. The tattoos and piercings issue will also simply vanish if you move to an area where such things are more readily accepted.

    In the worst case scenario, don't be afraid to go bankrupt. 100's of thousands of Americans did so last year ! It's not the end of the world ! Truthfully, going bankrupt and then getting your s#!t together afterwards financially speaking looks better on a credit report 7 years down the road than choosing not to go bankrupt but being chronically late paying your bills for that entire time period.

    I can't and won't recommend any of the "credit counseling services" that you see advertised, because the vast majority of them simply trade high interest short term debt that you owe to somebody else into lower interest longer term debt that you owe to the service instead (no to mention forcing you to cash in any equity which you might have) to lower your monthly payments. If US interest rates rise significantly in the near future, people who use these services to refinance will be in trouble all over again as their future monthly payments to the service rise right along with interest rates. Borrowed money is never cheap, and borrowed money for poor credit risk people is downright expensive, even if it's arranged through a service which is supposedly "non-profit". The financial institution which is actually advancing you the lower interest rate longer term refinancing through the service is still going to bite you, and the service still has expenses for employees and facilities which it's going to charge you for.

    There's always a silver lining. You have no idea what sort of better opportunities are waiting for you out there until you decide to go look for them ! There's an old Latin saying which, loosely translated, comes across as "don't let the bastards grind you down". If you're in a no-win situation, the worst thing that you can do is to continue to waste your energy struggling to no avail in that same situation. Don't be afraid to at least look at 'greener pastures'. If you truly can't find any, then consider wiping the slate clean via bankruptcy versus continuing to collect black marks while you continue to struggle in your existing situation.


  18. #18
    Senior Member Giselle666's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    I hear ya about someone making a rude comment and then you end up feeling shitty about yourself. But try to remember this: if you weren't interesting or unique, they wouldn't say anything at all. Most people ignore those that are "ugly" or those that don't stand out. The reason these people say something is that you are probably challenging their "conventional" ideas of beauty. I've gotten this forever. All it does is make me want to continue to challenge people and continue to be myself. I love tattoos and piercings!! Lots of other people do too. It sucks b/c I've since had to remove my monroe piercing b/c of good response from some, bad from others. I just got tired of the comments....I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. There will always be those that feel disatisfied w/ themselves, so it makes them feel better to cut you down. *#@^ 'em. I ran into this last night for example. I looked completely unconventional in this dancer's eyes last night and she felt the need to say it over and over: I'm pale, brunette, small breasted, tattoos, etc... She had to make a comment about everything, but when I looked at her, it's like um hello, you are far from perfect dear. Try to be above what others say. I know it's hard. I didn't have the best time last night after her comments (esp when I thought I looked great). It's all about confidence. We need to find a way to drown these idiots out....

  19. #19
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    I totally agree with Melonie about her whole post. Sometimes we make decisions that seemed fine in the moment, but then discover that it wasn't a little while down the line.

    You need to learn how to let go of your past. Sometimes, as Melonie said, bankruptcy can give you a clean slate to do what you need to do. I agree that the Credit Counselors can be a mistake...so, if you're looking to get back on your feet financially, and you cannot make ends meet and feed yourself with what you are paying for rent, food, past due bills, etc. Then it may be in your best interest to file bankruptcy. Then, go out and buy this book called, "The Richest Man in Babylon". It's a short, but very interesting read and can really help you get a savings and spending plan down. My SO and I are following the "Laws of Gold" and are loving it!!

    Also, the Books by Julia Cameron "The Artists Way" and "Vein of Gold" are both very good books and can really help you learn how to tap into your creativity and remove some of the blocks you are experiencing...they also help you learn how to listen to that little voice we sometimes forget is there.

    Take care of yourself and know that no problem is ever too big to solve with a little thought, lots of love, and lots of foot work.

    Hugs,
    Venus

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    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Thanks for the advise y'all...

    Bankrupcy...

    Did that already...in the mid 90's...and here I am...fucking up my financies again (my stupid ass didn't learn the lesson after the first one)...having already signed up with...and started making payments to...a credit counseling firm (did that last year)...

    Job...

    I'd love to quit...go someplace else...don't have the latest and greatest skills (which would be java and html in my field)...so...I'm stuck there too it seems...I could do something else...have no clue what that would be though...and I run the risk of lowering my already inadaquaite (sp) income levels...

    Moving...

    I'd love to get the hell out of mayberry...people tend to not want to rent to someone with bankrupcy on their credit report though (which is how I ended up in 'cabrini green' - the only complex that would rent to me)...don't have any money saved either...

    The situation seem hopeless from where I'm standing...I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this...

    (I think that's all I want to say...I'm depressed enough as it is)

    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

  21. #21
    Senior Member jennworthington's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    hey AUDIO- I love khahil Gibran
    Topaz, if you are at the bottom the only way you can go is up!
    No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true......

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Topaz's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    why would i venture out into a world where people degrade me...disrespect me...hate me...

    why would i talk to people...who will use my words against me...and/or my past against me...and/or my past words against me...

    and why would i spend hundreds of dollars talking to a pro...i'm helping them get rich off of my pain...and their bill puts me deeper in debt...

    why...
    Why do some people still have to fight...to get the same opportunities...that are given to others??...

    Look out for self...because noone else will...AND
    The greatest revenge in the world...is success...

    Reclusivness...is a good thing.

  23. #23
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy link=board=1;threadid=8579;start=msg103731#msg1037 31 date=1083391432
    Why don't you just suck it up? Cowboy up or Cowgirl up and QUIT bitching! Jesus Christ your not the only one in the world with this problem! I mean fuck grow up and change what you doing and do something right for once. People work 40+ hours a week and can't keep food on the table before their next payday but they do with what they got and go on with their lives. Get over your Mid-life Crisis pick your self up and keep going. Your alive and kicking it could be worse life does suck sometimes but the strong people keep going and become stronger and wiser. My friend gave me this very speech one day while I helped him with his wheel chair. If he can have that attitude knowing he will never walk again than we can have it walking tall with what ever life throws at us!!!!
    Oh yeah, I'm sure that pepped her up.

    :rolleyes:

    What exactly was your point in posting such a hateful array of shit? The girls needs support, not cutdowns and moronic words coming from people like you.

    Some people have trouble "Picking themselves up", and that's why they need the support. Most of us are here to give it. Obviously you're not, so there's no need for you to post regarding this.

  24. #24
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy link=board=1;threadid=8579;start=msg103735#msg1037 35 date=1083392112
    Why do you call it shit? I don't think it's shit.
    You wouldn't, of course.

  25. #25
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    Default Re:life sucks....

    Topaz,

    Get out of nowheresville! Environment can mean a world of difference to your state of mind. I would be depressed too if I were stuck like you, in a small town surrounded by judgemental, close-minded folks. Going to work at a job that makes you feel uncomfortable and unwanted is like jail time. Move on! I would tell you to get out and mingle, and try to make some like-minded, positive friends, but I don't know if there are any where you are. I think if you get out of that town, you will find that alot of your problems will disappear.

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    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-09-2006, 08:38 AM
  4. Life Sucks
    By lethalsoul in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-01-2005, 11:22 PM

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