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Thread: Trying to run me out of the club

  1. #1
    Kaiyla
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    Default Trying to run me out of the club


    During the past week, I had a huge falling out with one of my supposed closest friends, also another dancer I work with.

  2. #2
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Ok that sent a million light years sooner than it was supposed to. Anyhow, not only am I dealing with the fact that my best friend turned out to be the exact opposite of everything great I thought she was, plus, she's trying to get me kicked out of the club we both work at together.
    It all began when we started working together and I was getting into champagne a lot. Slowly everything about her began to change, and soon she totally transformed into this ugly, spiteful, mean-spirited person. Now other dancers are telling me that she's come to them and told the that I'm giving bj's and hj's in the champagne room (she says thats why I get in there all the time). Nice "friend" huh? Not even going to go into my feelings on the friendship aspect of this whole thing.
    Long story short, she has pushed me and pushed me and pushed me, and I finally snapped. I just got so sick of girls coming to me and telling me they've heard Ive been doing extras and it's affecting their money. I'm tired of this girl's nasty comments and looks, and lies. This is the friend who I've loved and shared everything with for the past 2 years!I would have bent over backward for less than 3 weeks ago. But last night things escalated and things erupted into a classless disgusting catfight at work. We completely cut each other up. She had pushed me to my breaking point, and I broke. Horrible things were said, we were separated and management spoke to each of us separately and told us to stay away from each other. Perfect! Exactly what I wanted all along! But nope, ten minutes later the girl tracks me down and gets in my face, asking me in front of the same room full of customers if I had given anymore bj's in the champagne room (wtf?) and I shot back with "so you does your mom know you're stripping yet?" I said this because this girl thinks she's got so much dirt on me that is untruthful, and I have some serious dirt on her that is real and it needed to be pointed out to her. She is not going to f*ck with me or my money anymore. I'm not taking it. Espescially from someone like that. Our work schedules are identical so there's no way to not see each other, unfortunately.
    Anyhow I get home last night and she has left this nasty, cussed-filled message on my machine at 3am and says that if I get her family involved that she will tell management that I'm having sex with guys and all kinds of other awful lies. This has just become so far out of hand. This girl has the meanest most vindictive personality I have ever seen. There is no doubt she wants me out of the club, and she'll do whatever it takes to do it, including going to management with lies (she is a VERY believable liar) and/or telling other dancers I'm giving extras so they'll gang up on me and help her push me out. The thing is, I decided long ago that I'm NOT being run out by her. No way. I like this club a lot and I make amazing LEGITIMATE money here and she can f*** herself. I'm not leaving.
    I'm not planning to reveal to her family that she is dancing, unless she continues to try to get me fired. If I get fired, I will know it is because of her and then it's over. It's just so childish and catty and stupid, and I just want this crap ended. I dont need some insecure b*tch telling co-workers/management that I'm doing things I am not. I dont need the other girls thinking I'm dirty, and I dont need to have my job terminated just in case management would actually believe this girl's stories.
    Has anything like this crap happened to any of you and how do you deal with it? I just want it OVER. I want her to pretend that I am dead to her, as she is to me. No dirty looks, no nasty comments, no spreading rumors. Just WORK, make money and go back to leading separate lives. How to get there, I have no clue. I know her. She would erupt into a total screaming fit if I attempted to talk to her like an adult. But I'm so sick of her sh*t. It's wrong and it's so unbelievably shady. It sucks for me that she is a great liar and could possibly convince people that I'm doing bad things at work. Have any of you been through this and what did you do?
    If she does not drop this NOW and keeps trying to my job there, I do not feel hesitance to air her dirty laundry as well. If she lets it go, I can let it go easily, but expressing this is not an option right now because she's a freaking screaming nutcase. But it needs to end NOW. How to do it?? No clue. Someone please throw me a bone here. This is getting so out of hand and ridiculous.

  3. #3
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Wow thats ridiculous. I would just ignore her ass, and if she gets in your face again go to management. Dont fight INSIDE of work because then they might fire you both.
    As nasty as this sounds, I would have probably punched her in the face by now. Sorry to say. But people making up rumors like that can cause HUGE problems, not only for you, but the girls will hate you, management will keep a CLOSER eye on you and may find anything wrong... and if it gets out of hand, people may keep a watch on the club as well to make sure nothing illegal is happening. Tell management that she is putting you, and the club at risk.

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    Veteran Member NekkoStarz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I'm pissed off for you~! I'm just like Lexi & would have bunched the bitch in the face by now. I just don't understand why this girl is so upset about you getting into champagne. I'm assuming it's just all jealousy. Anyways, I think you should go to management promptly!! And about the other girls getting catty with you - have you talked to them about what's going on!? Does anyone at your club have an idea about what's REALLY going on? I mean, I know they saw the fight & whatnot... but, do they know the whole backbone of the fight!?

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Kayla,
    Be sure to save the message she left on your answer machine.
    You can always play it (as proof) for the management at your club if needed.
    Best of luck...
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    It's horrible that it's a supposed best friend who is doing this..but this sh*ttalk happens in every club. I'm sure management will figure out the truth; this is probably not the first time something like this has happened before.
    When it comes down to the wire, she'd probably get fired over you- management already knows she's a troublemaker!

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    Senior Member lildevil_kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    i would seriously take the saved message 2 management tell them that u feel threatened and all u want 2 do is do ur job tell them if they want 2 see whats going on in the little champagne rooms and video tape what happens when u do this do it as professional as u can. and tell them look i just want this 2 stop and this girl 2 stop making scenes in front of customers and embarrassing the club and every1 thats working. and also show all the girls in the club that ur not fucking or giving blow jobs u would be more happy 2 do it 2 Prove a fucking point and tell every1 2 just drop the pitty bickery... and leave u ALONE... im so so sorry that u have 2 put up with such a dumbass little bitch thats jealous of U... remember sweety karma is a bitch and she will get whats coming 2 her. i had a similar situation that happened 2 me and the management set up cameras cause i told them 2 and i proved 2 the shady bitches that i wasn't doing anything... and they stopped messing with me course i did broke this girls nose cause she did go alittle 2 far calling me a whore.

    i hope u let us know what happened!

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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    You won't get fired if this girl tells management you're doing h/j b/j in the champagne room. In fact, you actually could be pulling these stunts and you wouldn't get fired simply by her "telling" they'd have to actually catch you.

    If it were me, next time she snidely asks you if you've given anymore b/j's in the champagne room, flash a bright smile and say sweetly, "not yet!"

    You really should let mgt. know that you're trying to avoid her and she keeps tracking you down and starting shit. Tell them she's leaving threatening messages on your home phone. Tell them you don't want anything to do with her, you just want to work. I think it's important to try to remain calm and civil. Refrain from profanity. Obviously you're the money maker, not her. Money is the bottom line and girls who make more money get preferential treatment. (maybe now is the time to start tipping out a bit more generously)

    There are other tactics you could use, but I'd start with what I mentioned first.

    Regarding the girls coming to you and telling you what she's saying, you really don't know if they're being truthful, accidently twisting what they heard, or making shit up just to enjoy the soap opera. Mentally file what comes your way but don't be quick to act on it.

    Good luck.


  9. #9
    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Don't air her dirt as well, that will just aggravate the situation further. It will pass, but DO save the messages from her!!


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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I forgot how high school and trival strip clubs can be. I can tell you that for one thing the management is not going to care if this bitch says you do extra's. They have seen and heard it all, especially now that you have had a major fight. Your fellow club mates will fuel the fire by saying things she said that probally hasn't been talked about in a couple of weeks or vice versa. Girls enjoy nothing better than a little strip club drama. Your best bet is too shrug it off and spend as less time possible in the dressing room. Who cares what she says. She did you a favor by showing you her true colors. You don't need a spiteful bitch in your life.
    kisses

  11. #11
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I give ya credit..I would have dropped the wench by now.

  12. #12
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Thanks so much for the advice everyone, you guys are great

    I definitely dont need this right now. I hope this turns around somehow, and works out for the best . Anxiety at work can really effect your money, and I know that's what she's aiming for (and trying to get girls and magement to help aid her) until it becomes unbearable for me. I am going to save the message, and talk to management and offer to be somehow videotaped next time I do a champagne.

    In the meantime, how do I deal with her? Shall I call her up and say "just end it. You dont go to management and tell lies about me, and I wont tell your family you're dancing. We just pretend each other does not exist and that's it." I have a feeling if I dont do this, she is going to just simmer and simmer inside that miserable, bitter mind of hers and do even more to make my time there unbearable. Amazing. I never knew how calculating, manipulating and ugly this girl could be.

  13. #13
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Bookings aren't set in stone and it's very important these fights don't escalate to your being fired or arrested on the word of this person for 'assaulting' her. Pick the most even-tempered manager to speak to about this. Approach him at a quiet time and tell him a BRIEF version of what has already happened. Ask him what he would like you to do about THE HARRASSMENT while you are working with him. DON'T give him the angry version. Stay calm and saddened or confused about her betrayal. Anger doesn't always bring out the hero in guys. They think, if you're so angry, you can handle it yourself. This way, you will have notified them of the problem without whining or forcing them to pick sides, hear witnesses, or play cop (things they tend to hate). The good news is that you are the hot commodity, baby! So, they won't want to let you get away. They might not even want your former friend. They may have kept her only to make YOU happy. Once you have the manager's empathy or understanding, you could suggest tweaking your schedule for a few weeks so you see each other less. It's worth it! In the end you'll outwit, outlast, and outclass that bitch!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I'm suprised that the club doesn't regularly monitor dances-I thought all clubs did that nowadays. It's a shame because it would quickly dispel any rumors. (It probably wouldn't keep the girls from talking-they always do that when you're making money).

    I'm sorry you're going through this It really sucks. I would definitely give the tape to management if you haven't already erased it. The other girls here have given some great advice. Unfortunately catty girls are par for the course Good luck with this.

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    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I have never been in a situation like this but I could just imagine how awful it must be. I know this must be really stressful and the best thing that you want to happen is for this to all end. I would ignore her too and not let her get to me. It will definitely be good for you to talk with the management about this. Maybe the manager can give you a different schedule? You can't stop people from gossiping but hopefully this thing will blow over soon!

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Here's Blades View(I think I'm gonna start talking in the 3rd person for a while If you can smelllllllllllla what Blade is smoking,hahaha)Ok maybe not 3rd person is lame.
    Here's my pov on this....
    Go to management, you should be able to tell when they are in a decent mood(best bet is at the begining of the night/day whichever shift you work)
    Try this: Hey bossman I have to talk to you.I'm having problems with so and so and it's gotten to the point that she is making it unbearable to work here.Give the manager a short version of whats going on(they don't need or want ALL the details)Let him/her know that this cyco is talking trash and calling you at home and leaving threatening messages.You've already gotten into it with her once at work, let him/her know that it is gonna happen again if something isn't done about her.Have some of your regulars complain that she is being snotty or spreading rumours and they are becoming uncomfortable at the club and aren't sure if they want to come back in while she is still working there.(managers hate being hit in the wallet).If all this fails...wait for her in the parking lot and stomp her into the dirt!

  17. #17
    Veteran Member MotherDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    So what is the other half of the story here missy? This sounds a little extreme for a best friend to just go nuts about.

    Personally I would laugh at her and I would also offer to pay for a camera installation into the champaigne room. I have a small one someone gave me to keep watch over my sons crib. Its clear in the dark and works well and it was not that much. The other half is a little tv that sits by my bed.

    When the other girls come to you with stuff she has said tell them she is using them in her game. Tell them you respect them and wouldn't use them like that or "take money from them" by attracting customers. Just tell them you try to connect with the customers really well intellectually and that is your secret to the champagne room dances. Its almost bad advice for a lot of the time, but the girls will feel like you are being truthful and giving them a tip.
    Those who bring sunshine into lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

  18. #18
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    This really sucks. Jealousy brings out the worst in people. I would go talk to management before she does. Tell them what has been going on. I am sure that there are cameras, etc. in the champagne room, and if there were any "extras" going on, someone would have seen them. If you are at an upscale club, then the chances of management looking the other way is very slim...they don't want to get shut down.

    Tell them that you two had a falling out and now she is doing all of this stuff. Tell them how you want to work there but she is making it very hard by her childish and immature behavior. Ask them if there is anything that can be done about her lies and her inappropriate behavior (trying to "call you out" on the floor with customers...big no-no). Don't get overly emotional. Stick straight to the facts. Don't call her names or fly off the handle. In situations like these, you want to appear as the level-headed, calm, dependable one. Hopefully, management will talk with your "friend" and she'll do the exact opposite.

    I find it hard to believe that she could go around and convince people that you give hand jobs and blow jobs in the champagne room...especially since she is never in there to begin with. I hope that this gets resolved soon. It must suck to have to work in this kind of situation...but, let us know what happens!!

    Edited to add: Just read Mother Daisy's post...and I have to agree, I had the same question..."Is the champagne visiting the only thing that happened...or is there more??" Although jealousy does a lot of things...it just seems weird that she's fine one day and then psycho the next....hmmmm...

  19. #19
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Thanks again for the advice everyone. Daisy and Venus, you are both right. There are other issues surrounding this whole thing, I have made mistakes as well. I have NEVER done the things she is accusing me of but we had other issues in and outside of work that helped perpetuate this whole thing. Still, her reaction to me coming to "her" club and making me money than her, are the core of all this.

    Our going from best friends to enemies was not an overnight thing. It was like she went through this metamorphosis over the past month of: "wow you've been in champagne alot," to "girls are talking about you going into champagne alot, to "these girls are going to chase you out of the club, so why dont you refuse champagne for a week or so," (wtf??) to finally "you're sucking d*ck and having sex to make your money," (after I refused to take her advice to stay away from champagne, and kept making really good money). Things dramatically altered when she realized a few weeks ago that I was not going to let her control me in or out of work. She's always had a nasty, controlling side, and people have warned me about that. Still, I never saw it until recently. So it's been happening over the course of a month, and just came to a head very recently. I just want it to end. I never knew someone could get such a thrill out of having someone to direct all their negative energy at.

    It's kind of strange because there used to be another girl at the old club we worked at, who my "friend" would have as her little Anger Scapegoat. So I'm definitely not the first one to be her the recipient of her crap. I remember with this other girl "Amy," that she constantly picked at, she would get great kicks out of talking about how much she hated Amy and how she hoped she would die, and stuff. Nice. Once, when Amy was onstage naked, my ex best friend turned on all the house lights on. The house lights are so bright and show every little flaw.That's how vindictive the girl I am dealing with is. So what did Amy do to deserve this wrath? She forgot to say hello in a frantic rush to find her car keys one day. I guess in my ex best friend's mind, that warranted all the nasty things she said or did to Amy. It makes me sick that I chose to ignore this side of my "friend," and convinvced myself that deep down, she was a good person.

    Now I get to sit and wonder what her plans will be for her new "Anger Scapegoat," -me. This girl can never let anything go, and I've witnessed it. She likes the fact that she has someone to try to make as miserable as she is. It's a shame I have let someone into my life who is so full of hate and anger. My bad, huh?

  20. #20
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    Ugh...that's really bad. Maybe you should secretly slip her a phone number to a good psych!! LOL

    At least she has a history of doing this at the club. Management knows all about it, the other girls know all about it. So, you being rational, will most likely work against her.

    On another note: You should really consider "pressing charges" of harassment against her (for her phone calls). If she keeps calling and leaving nasty messages and threats, then by all means, treat her like a stalker or a "domestic" abuser. She wants to act this way, then let her take the full responsibility of her behavior. You deserve to protect yourself and not put up with her bullshit. IMHO, you should take the offensive and strike back, hard. She is most likely very happy that you have not really stood up to her...you are push-over material and that is why this keeps escalating. She'll push you farther and farther until you push back. So, do whatever it is you need to do to protect yourself. And, BTW...definitely talk to management. Being that you are up in the Champagne room very frequently, chances are that they'll listen to you a bit more (you bring more money into the club) than they would her.

    My advice is only based on what I know here. So, if it doesn't fit, don't do it, but I really think that a nice, big shove is what she needs to bring her back to reality...well, at least to the point of reality where you two can be civil at work and both make money.

  21. #21
    Veteran Member ATLDiscoLawyer420's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    what state are you in?

    It only matters for the legality of what I am going to tell you, not that it really matters all that much since you won't be using this for legal purposes. But call her ass up and confront her on a phone while recording the conversation. In this conversation let it all out. Say thinsg like "why are you lying about me" "you know I don't do that" etc... A girl like this, especially one who thins (or may) have pull with the club, will likely say some really ridiculous shit like. "yeah I'm lying so what" "Mark (random name for gm) loves me and will believe anything I say etc. Yadda yadda etc. Tehn just walk in with that tape and play it for your manager, other girls etc. Much better if/when you bring up other dancers and she trashes onthem to you, on teh tape. Will help you win back the crowd. This kind of drama queen is easy to set off, so don't be obvious but I have seen this startegy work in court (in ga you can tape a phone call if you are one party to it) and people say the most ridiculous things when they are fighting...

    http://www.rcfp.org/taping/
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    the sinners have much more fun.

  22. #22
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    I understand the people who'd want both sides of the story, but there's not much that should provoke behavior that mean.

    I dealt with a similar situation at a club, to the point where people "accidentally" would enter my champagne room to try to catch me doing what they said I was!

    The girl starting the rumors got fired soon after for choking another dancer :o but in the meantime I just avoided her as often as possible.

    The situtation will eventually come to a resolution, one way or another. But SAVE THE MESSAGES!
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  23. #23
    Veteran Member bibacle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    yes, ditto, talk to management.

    I take it you are in the champagne room auite a bit more than your nemesis. If so, you are making tons of $$ for management as well (at least at most clubs they take a nice chunk out for themselves). If it comes down to her or you, who do you think they would want.....an earner or a complainer?
    "Those who dance, are considered crazy by those who can't hear the music."--George Carlin

  24. #24
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    TAKE THE MESSAGE SHE LEFT ON YOUR PHONE TO MANAGEMENT!! do not erase it!!! She is jealous of you, and CLASSLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

  25. #25
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Trying to run me out of the club

    She needs a little dose of reality. Oh yea, don't go back and tell her parents, YOU are better then that. But also, don't take shit from her.

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