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Thread: Ode To My Boobs...

  1. #1
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Ode To My Boobs...

    I got this in my email this morning, and thought I'd share with you all. Enjoy!

    Ode to my boobs

    Perfect Breasts
    (o)(o)

    Fake Silicone Breasts
    ( + )( + )

    Perky Breasts
    (*)(*)

    Big Nipple Breasts
    (@)(@)

    A Cups
    o o

    D Cups
    {O }{ O }

    Wonder Bra Breasts
    (oYo)

    Cold Breasts
    (^ )( ^ )

    Lopsided Breasts
    (o)(O)

    Pierced Nipple Breasts
    (Q)(O)

    Hanging Tassels Breasts
    (p)(p)

    Grandma's Breasts
    \ o /\ o /

    Against The Shower Door Breasts
    ( )( )

    Android Breasts
    | o | | o |

    Mammogram Breasts
    __ ___


    For years and years they told me,
    Be careful of your breasts.
    Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
    And give them monthly tests.

    So I heeded all their warnings,
    And protected them by law.
    Guarded them very carefully,
    And I always wore my bra.

    After 30 years of astute care,
    My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
    Said I should get a Mammogram
    "O.K," I said, "let's do it."
    "Stand up here real close" she said,
    (She got my boob in line),
    "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
    "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

    She stepped upon a pedal,
    I could not believe my eyes !
    A plastic plate came slamming down,
    My hooter's in a vice !


    My skin was stretched and mangled,
    From underneath my chin.
    My poor boob was being squashed,
    To Swedish Pancake thin.

    Excruciating pain I felt,
    Within it's vice-like grip.
    A prisoner in this vicious thing,
    My poor defenseless tit !

    "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
    Who does she think she's kidding ? !! ?
    My chest is mashed in her machine,
    And woozy I am getting.
    "There, that's good," I heard her say,
    (The room was slowly swaying.)
    "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
    Have mercy, I was praying.


    It squeezed me from both up and down,
    It squeezed me from both sides.
    I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
    To HER tender little hide.


    Next time that they make me do this,
    I will request a blindfold.
    I have no wish to see again,
    My knockers getting steam rolled.


    If I had no problem when I came in,
    I surely have one now.
    If there had been a cyst in there,
    It would have gone "ker-pow !"

    This machine was created by a man,
    Of this, I have no doubt.
    I'd like to stick his balls in there,
    And see how THEY come out!


    next bit for the ladies
    OK girls, now that you have had your laugh, remember...
    Breast Cancer Awareness...
    Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy! Pass the
    message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins, friends --
    and even your enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!

  2. #2
    Featured Member SCGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    Rhi I LOVED it! Thanks for sharing.
    "You did then what you knew how to do; when you knew better, you did better" ~Maya Angelou

  3. #3
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    That was really cool... I'm gonna pass it along

  4. #4
    Featured Member ami's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    I saw that a long time ago, but i lost it... its so neat though....



    {O }{ O } = nipple lick

  5. #5
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    HAHAH Rhi, tooooooo cute.

  6. #6
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    ha i have got the lopsided breast thing happening now

  7. #7
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    I got this a long time ago myself and was hoping to run across it again.

    Thanks Rhia!


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



  8. #8
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ode To My Boobs...

    You're so welcome, Girls. Glad you liked it. I got it in an email from one of my many aol mailing lists. LOL. Apparently, the woman is from the UK, and I think, (Don't quote me on this) Breast Cancer Awareness Month in the UK is May? She had sent a link along with it, but I didn't post it because I was unsure. At any rate, I don't think the United States' Breast Cancer Awareness Month is until October, but in my opinion, it should be celebrated every month.


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