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Thread: Why Men go to clubs

  1. #1
    Sitri
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    Default Why Men go to clubs

    I just thought I would add my 2 cents worth about why men go to clubs. As someone who has been in and out of clubs for over 20 years, it is interesting to see how what I look for has changed. That “I am 20 years old and I want to see what it looks like” guy and slowly been replaced by an “over 40 and I want to remember what if felt like to be young” guy.

    In reading the posts, I think a little marketing 101 in terms of the approach would help. I hesitate to using the car analogy but I think everyone can relate to it. It is always so easy to focus on features, “Is my ass tight”, Should I get bigger boobs”, While these things matter, I say that what men come in for is a “feeling”. That “0-60 in 5 seconds” Porsche or the “comfort of a Mercedes” ride. I hate to break it to you, but I have seen tits before…Don’t sell the body, it’s right in front of me. Sell me on how I will feel when I see the body in motion.

    The men with the money are probably 35+ and successful. In general, we have anywhere from 20 to maybe 40 years of life experience more than you do. We have probably been getting dances since you were in diapers. I mention this, because while you may use your favorite hustle to get a dance or 2, chances are you will be done in 2 dances if you get one and a lot of money will be left on the table. (or should I say in the pocket) hehe.

    So here is what I would suggest,
    First, you have to quickly identify why the man is there and understand the feeling he is trying to achieve. Success, youth, independence (i.e. escaping the wife for one night). The best way to do this is to study MEN. I recommend you get the audio tape “Men’s Passages” by Gail Sheey” It is based on interviews of over 100 men at different ages . Know your customer.
    Title: Men’s Passages Read this book if you are ready to face the music.
    Rating: 5
    Review: Reading this book is a necessary gut-wrenching experience. Nobody likes to hear exactly the idiotic things we men sometimes do. Especially from a woman...right guys?
    Sheey is right on the money. You will find your father, brother, GRANDFATHER and buddies all here. As well as yourself. And *that* is the gem this book will leave behind: finding yourself, situating your thoughts and realizing that you are not all that crazy..that, yes, you can stay in the saddle or get back on it. You are hardly alone.
    Two comments: One, don't take the age ranges literally (Sheely advises the same thing). Two, enjoy the book while it lasts, because "the meaning of life" is not described at the end of the book. The book reads like a novel at some points, BUT it is not. If you get to the end and are still clueless. Put it down and think hard. You will get IT. Read it. You will be glad you did.

    Title: Iron John
    Today's sensitized male may be in touch with his "feminine" side, but, writes poet Bly, this "soft male" possesses little vitality and is hobbled by grief and anguish. To achieve real masculinity, Bly argues, men must cultivate a fierce tenderness to be found neither in the macho/John Wayne model nor in the "interior feminine." Taking as his starting point the Grimm fairy tale "Iron John," the author sets forth an eight-stage initiatory path whose steps include remembering one's psychic wounds, communion with a mentor or "inner King," becoming a lover, reviving one's inner warriors and receiving a "second heart." Bly avoids cant as he ransacks Jung, Freud and Reich; referents include Greek, Egyptian and Celtic myths, the Parsifal legend, Blake and Amerindian ritual. A wise and healing book full of fresh insights, Bly's odyssey will help men grapple with identity, fatherhood, relationships and such crises as addiction and divorce.
    Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

    These two books will give you insight (hehe) into the older man. Think about it, anytime you want to become an expert in something, you take a class and/or read about it to study it. If you are making a living at this, shouldn’t you be an expert on men? Pole tricks are good, but there is more to making money.

    Second, I can’t tell you how many dancers I’ve seen that are a “one trick pony”. They ask if you want a dance, you see it, and then the second, third, and fourth dances are like “Ground Hog Day”. The same thing over and over and over again. Umm no thank you. Saw that butt before..

    The best dancers approach it like a musical with several acts. THAT KEEPS IT INTERESTING!. You don’t have to script it, but a theme is nice interspersed with dialogue Build to the rousing climax in scene 4 and then the wind down in scene 5. If a girl came up to me with a 5 dance musical approach, That would get my attention! (and $100 bill plus tip.) Why not have several different approaches based on what that guy wants?

    One of the best dances I have ever seen was at Brandi’s in Vancouver. Center Stage was a dancer by the name of Chelsea Brooks. She had a set that was unbelievable. When the dance was done there were so many $5 bills on the stage it looked like fall in the money tree forest. And, it was totally rehearsed and perfected. Why not do that for private dances? How many successful plays do you see where people get up and ad lib? None. Talk about memorable, I still remember her name. She even gave out posters to a couple of lucky guys..Thank you very much. What a professional.

    Anyway, a few random thoughts.. for what they are worth.









  2. #2
    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Thanks very much Sitri, I think it's good not to lose sight of the clientele.

    I will bear that informtion in mind and will do a search for those books you mentioned on the internet to see what extra tidbits they can reveal.

    I also very much like the idea of varied performance. I've known that this is essential, but sometimes (in my mind when I know I'm approaching the multiple dances) I have a little panic because I realise I'm running out of routine! I think I'll have to keep practising! It certainly makes for better entertainment (and that's what you're paying for, right? )

    Anyway, thanks for highlighting some points - you're a star!
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

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    Member Synnove's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Thank you Sitri! Both books sound like interesting reads on their own.

    I may have put the oron in moron, but I didn't put the upid in dumb.

  4. #4
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Nice post Sitri, always good to hear from a customer's point of view. I'm going to look for those books as well.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

  5. #5
    Sitri
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Forgot to mention. I know that Passages comes in audio tape. Easy listening on the way to work.

  6. #6
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    A wonderful contribution and good job in composing all of that information.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
    -
    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    Senior Member jennworthington's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    I want to give guys brain hard ons not the one in the lap,lol. Your post got my attention, and hopefully it will help me get someone elses
    No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true......

  8. #8
    Senior Member jennworthington's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    ps- thanks for input!
    No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true......

  9. #9
    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Got to love Sitri. Since he's been on here he's gotten me into reading poetry, and I'll be looking for these books at the store tomarrow.
    I'd love it if Sitri would make a list of the best reads. I'm kind of a book junkie.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

  10. #10
    Sitri
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Thanks for the comments. Just want to help if I can.
    Fawn, be careful, you'll turn into a romantic with the poetry.


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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Sitri is absolutely right that men go to strip clubs for many different reasons, and one of the secrets to being successful as a dancer is to understand what each customer is looking for. For example, when I go I'm looking for the companionship of a friendly and interesting girl. Conversation is important to me. The girl who smiles and is interesting gets my business. Being sexy or really good looking has little to do with it. I like funny and playful more than sexy.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  12. #12
    Member Pei Mei's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Men go to strip clubs for women. Balancing Yan with the Yin.

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    Curious Guest Lizzardking100's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    If I could add my 2 cents to this question and forgive me please I am a Newbie here on Stripperweb. I like to go to strip club every so offten because all the excitement happening in a place like a strip club and it is one of the few places left in todays society where a man can relax and be himself. I love the rock 'n' rollin or the bump 'n' grinding tunes played with woman showing us their fiercely provocative sexuality and the skilled tease that steals our attention. There is just something so primal and natural watching a woman performing a erotic dance and I imagin this is the same way those Arab/Gypsy/Hawiian men felt watching there Belly Dancers thousands of years ago. With the feeling of excitement is also a feeling of great contentment, relaxed enough for your daily stress to melt away for the moment. The strip bar is one of the very few places a man can really look at a woman in the eye and cheer her on how she makes us feel. You can't even hardly pay a woman a compliment on her dress, hair, style, charm, shoes, or whatever without being taken as a pervert looking for nookie in the everyday world of America.
    Yes I have to admit when my male friends and I head to the strip bar we feel right at home, kind of like when we sit around the garage and BS the night away. Its a place where we can relax and let ourselves be ourselves and have fun doing it to.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Quote Originally Posted by Lizzardking100 link=board=27;threadid=8898;start=msg105622#msg105 622 date=1083793028
    You can't even hardly pay a woman a compliment on her dress, hair, style, charm, shoes, or whatever without being taken as a pervert looking for nookie in the everyday world of America.
    But aren't you guys pretty much always looking for nookie anyway? Honestly now....it's natural, whether you consciously think it or not. I agree women can be a bit too uptight about the whole thing...

    Yes I have to admit when my male friends and I head to the strip bar we feel right at home, kind of like when we sit around the garage and BS the night away. Its a place where we can relax and let ourselves be ourselves and have fun doing it to.
    This is why I've always said that in some respects, the strip club is a more honest environment. Men don't naturally censor everything they say or do regarding women, and women use their sexuality ALL the time in EVERY type of environment to get what they want from men. In the strip club at least we're open about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  15. #15
    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    I picked up IronJohn today.

    Its a really good book. I had a bit of trouble following it at first. mostly in the intro, but after that it seemed dead on. I didn't get very far before I had to go to my side job, and I left it there in the cabinet. I'll have to retrieve it tomarrow.

    As for Men's Passeges,Barns&Noble didn't have any, but had other passeges from sheey, I ordered the book, but apperently the book on tape was discontinued.

    Thanks for the advice.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

  16. #16
    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re:Why Men go to clubs

    Ps. right next to IronJohn was why men like bitches. don't laugh, I bought it. haven't started reading it yet, but I was wondering if anyone had and what there take on the subject is.
    " Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan

    " If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years
    Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper

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