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Thread: help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    x-posted in live journal community

    I've been dancing three months, been having good nights recently, I've been more confident, using new lines, etc. But tonight I was told that, apparently a LOT of girls think that I purposefully steal customers. As noted, the VIP room is away from the floor, so when I get back from there or from my dressing room I: look around, if a guy doesn't have an extra drink at his table or is talking to a dancer, I go up and talk to him. If he says he just got there, I talk to him for a minute and say something like "I'll talk to you later, sweetie." and go off and talk to the next customer. I always ask if he wants a dance.

    Apparently, girls think that I wait for them to stop talking to a customer, either to go on stage or something else, and then 'steal' them, ie, ask them for a dance. My club is small, if there are only 15 guys there, and 8 dancers, this is a problem... and I don't know what to do about it, if I spend ten minutes after every VIP I do watching to make sure no girl goes up to a guy, I'll lose out because, duh, other girls will go up to them in that time. Plus customers are always bitching about girls not talking to them, because the majority of our girls spend half the night playing video games or talking to each other or something... I guess this is why, if you're chatting to customers you might be stealing. Oh, yeah, I've gotten 'spoken to' [by our DJ, as other girls complained] about this once before, and when I say that I'm not purposefully doing that, I'm told to just be more aware of what's going on.
    I want to quit right now, because I hate jobs where I try my hardest to do something right and I can't...
    I don't know what else to do, I don't want to have a 'devil-may-care' attitude and just keep doing this, because I don't really want enemies, but I also don't want to have nights where I make less than minimum wage... Any advice?
    And I can't switch clubs right now, I've been to the other ones around here and don't really want to work at them, and I don't have a car so I can't drive further out... It'd be quitting to not dance at this club.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  2. #2
    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    my vote is to screwem. letem bitch. let them hate you. who cares about them? clearly they're either lazy, stupid, ugly, or completely unable to sell. they're not in the right business. sounds like you are a great dancer. keep it up. dont quit. showem whos boss.

    rather than them take on the truth and realize that they suck, they are in denial and blame you. dont let them push you around. the customers want you, thats whats important. hell, maybe by you being there itll bring guys back(and they'll tell their friends who will show up). this will give the other girls even more opportunity to earn. ofcorse, they're fucking retarded, so they'll never understand that. so just hold your head up high and kick some ass

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    I agree with Sandy...

    Furthermore, Customers are NOT owned by any dancers, just as dancers aren't owned by customers. A lot of girls get territorial, but screw em. They don't have to like you.

    Just smile and wave to them in passing while you're on your way to count your nightly earnings, and they're left standing there empty-handed.

    Hang in there, hon.

    ~Rhi~

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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    as long as you try harder than them and probably do better too, they'll hate you. there isn't really anything you can do

    so i agree...just screw em...and work on getting a car so you can go somewhere else

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    I love you guys, thanks a million. I wondered if I was breaking some new stripper rule.
    The owner is always bitching about how girls spend half the night sitting on the couches and never sell dances - he doesn't really have an opinion on me, the managers love me because I mind my own business and sell dances.
    And ya know, sometimes this happens to me, I chat with guy for a few minutes and he says maybe later and 15 minutes later another girl sells a dance to him. But it's not the end of the world. And if I'm not interesting enough for the guy to say "not right now, otherdancer, I'm waiting for Luna to get off stage" once again, not a big deal.
    but to quote the DJ over this "If I thought you were doing this on purpose I'd just let you go down in flames, but I don't think you are, just be more careful about it." go down in flames??
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    What the fuck? Luna, do your thing honey. Who do these girls think they are? You arent "stealing" customers. You didnt force a guy to like you and BUY dances or Vips. HE does it if he is interestedf in you, which is obviously the case.

    Dont worry about it, hun. Do your thing. THIS IS THIS BUSINESS and if the dancers, AND the damn dj cant figure that out, then screw them, too.
    I hope you feel better. Obviously they are trying to run you out now, but dont let them. I didnt let it happen to me.


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    Senior Member vegasvixen1's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Dont worry sweetie, had the EXACT same thing happen to me at my first club, just ignore the assholes and make your $$$. I know its easier said than done but you have to try, at least until u get a car.
    "And when your'e crawling over broken glass to get to me, thats when I'll let you stay." -me

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    Senior Member vegasvixen1's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    oh yeah, p.s. if those were "their customers" then they wouldnt be getting dances with u now would they?? so maybe if those are supposed to be their die-hard regulars the girls should take it up with them and not you.
    "And when your'e crawling over broken glass to get to me, thats when I'll let you stay." -me

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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Luna,

    Even if the worst happens and you can't for whatever reason keep working at the club, you will do well at any other club if you have to switch. Your work habits are just like my friend who blows away most of the other dancers on dances each night. She shows up each night and she 'works' all night long, she doesn't sit around complaining with her friends, or sit up in the dressing room on her cell, she works and she brings home the cash.

    However, I've seen a DJ fuck with dancers who got on his bad side by playing the wrong and really bad songs while she's on stage, or cutting off their song halfway through a set and making her look like an idiot up on stage, or skipping her in the rotation.

    My friends who are dancers are mostly extremely nice, but they have developed a thick skin and a ready to defend their turf at a moments notice. It sucks if you aren't that type of person, but strip clubs can be a harsh place.

    Good luck, it sucks to have deal with needless stress at work.

  10. #10
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Luna, as long as you are earning money for the club while other girls aren't, and the club manager knows it, you really don't have anything to worry about in regard to job security. The only thing that you might need to keep an eye open about would be that an irate dancer might decide to take the issue up with you privately ... and if that happens don't be afraid to kick her ass !

    If you're taking the time and effort to scope out the club for double drinks and dancer action every time you return from the VIP room, nobody can really expect you to simply sit in a corner for 2-3 songs while the girl currently on stage finishes up and returns to any particular customer she may have been working on before her set. If the customer you would have been accused of 'stealing' was all that interested in the dancer currently on stage, he probably would have moved stageside (and I assume that you don't hit on customers sitting stageside while another girl is on stage)!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Good points already mentioned in this thread. It sounds to me like those jealous byatches are just trying to run you out of the club because you actually work instead of sit on your ass and apparently make more money than them. I agree with Melonie you don't have much to worry about as far as job security goes if management is aware you're selling dances. I'd go a step further though and put a few extra tips in some of their hands now and then - perhaps the DJ too - you'd be surprised how much loyalty a few tips will get you if push comes to shove.

    Sandy's advice is right on - screw those byatches. You are at work to make money and they can piss off!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  12. #12
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Customer's perspective.

    If I was enamored with a dancer who was sitting with me, I'd politely beg off from anyone else while she was on stage.

    If I go off with another dancer while she's on stage, then either I like this other dancer a lot more or I can't wait to lose the sitter's company, or some of both.

    Don't worry about it. You're just making the sale that they didn't.

  13. #13
    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Thanks for the heads up Luna Maiden. I never knew I was blackballing myself as "taken" when I sat down at a table where the server had not yet cleaned up the table yet. It will also teach me to always give my empty water bottle to the server when I order a new one so I do not make it appear I am someones "property".

    Now I know if some dancer I do not want to get a dance from approaches me and hangs around because she is bored, I need to tell her to "get the hell away from me" ASAP.

    LM excuse the sarcasm, but this whole thing on their part sounds like petty BS caused by jealousy because you actually believe in working.

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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    If you think about it, the typical guy coming in a strip club is not "owned" by a dancer as "her" customer. If a guy wants to be owned by a dancer he will tell the other dancers. I still spent time with
    our "group" of dancers and sometimes other custmers. This group knew I was ATF's customer but that I was good for a drink some talk during slow times and a safe harbor and some dances.

    The trouble came with new girls who didn't know the score or weren't in the group. However with most guys, they were there to get dances from a variety of dancers. It seemed to me that during stage sets, dancers would do there best to "mark" their territory. Pakcs of cigarettes at the table worked good. Red Bull worked good.

    The best way was dancer straws in a drink as the dancers had different colored straws from customer drinks. Management enforced the "claimed" policy by a drink left at the table because they wanted to sell drinks. All the original dancer had to do was say a word to the waitress and an assistant manager would show up to tell the other girl to nicely beat it. The waitresses thus served as key witnesses in the
    "customer claimed" policy.

    Mostly with ATF I was happy to be "claimed" and had a great time in the group. After awhile on early shift I was running the door checking ID's
    for a half hour or so during early shift and I'd get free drinks in return.

    However in other clubs or with before I met ATF I didn't want to be "claimed" as somebodys customer and found it a presumption and annoying. The feeling of exclusivity is mutual and mostly I don't want to be claimed. Other than a drink with a dancers straw as a "claimed" signal since nobody wants to leave a drink around maybe lights or signs would work?

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Wow...well, how are you stealing customers if these girls are spending most of their time playing video games? It'd be one thing if these girls were sitting down with the customer and you grabbed the customers hand and dragged them to another table. But, if someone is sitting alone...good lord...LOL...just tell the girls to go back to their video games. Tell them that when you are done "cleaning up the place" they can rest their asses on the empty chairs. Besides, I've had customers that just wanted dances from me. I could get up and go to the bathroom, go do a stage set, whatever and these guys would tell any other dancer that came over to them that they were "waiting for someone". That would be that.

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    Veteran Member Tia_q's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    The girls are absolutely right-you can't "steal" a customer. They are not property to steal. I think what bothers me most out of what you said was that the DJ got involved. Girls will be catty no matter what, but I'm still trying to figure out why the DJ would get involved. It's definitely not his place.
    Just keep doing what you're doing. It sounds like you're doing it well-very well in fact if it's pissing off the other girls *g*

  17. #17
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    I don't go up to customers at the stage or right after a 'wanna dance' girl has been there, I try to give them a minute so I set myself apart from the 'wanna dance?' girl. I also never say anything like "Oh, her? She's really a tramp, you want a dance with me!" ya know? I just try to sell my own merits.

    The DJ rooms with one of the girls who is complaining and I usually share a cab with him and said girl, call her Ambrosia on here.
    On one hand I think he did it out of general concern, because I've heard of the lovely things that girls [all right, one or two, since most of the girls have quit or retired recently, and all the new girls are just that, new, they haven't had time to get possessive over customers] at my club do to those they think are 'bitches' and uhm... while it hasn't evolved into violence but things like ruining costumes and such isn't unheard of.
    The thing that got me was this customer I went over to, said hi and babbled, then this other customer comes over and says "I want that dance now" so I go off to do the dance. When I get back, guy is still sitting alone. So I go over and say hi again, ask if he missed me, and he askes ME if I can do dances for him, I didn't even get a chance to ask him. So we go off, he ends up spending a lot of money.
    When I get back the DJ is like "that guy you did a lot of dances for, Ambrosia spent a whole ten minutes talking to him. The girls spend a lot of time warming guys up, and it seems like you rush in there and take them if the girl goes away for any reason." me: "I never even saw Ambrosia sitting with him! If I'm in and out all night, I can't be watching every other girl!" him: "You need to be more aware of these things, I know that no one owns a customer but we're all here to make money and be friends. Melinda [bartender, does bachelor parties sometimes] said not to say anything to you, but I think you should be aware of this."
    Ambrosia was one of the girls a customer said "she's hot, but she's been sitting there with other girls forever! and she looks grumpy there. she'll never make any money that way." I've also heard Ambrosia say "I really depend on the stage to make my money."
    I think partly the DJ wants to secure her half of the rent money. To do him credit, though, he never fucks with a girl's stage set, even if he really hates them. He might not go over the top for them, but he doesn't purposefully undermine them.

    I want to talk to Melinda, she's always been very sweet to me and has even drummed up business once or twice, like I'll be chatting with customer at the bar and she'll be like "this girl may look all sweet and innocent, but we've got a bet going that she's a total freak once you get her alone!" and the guy will of course want to see if it's true by going to the VIP with me. I want to know if she thinks I'm doing fine as is or just "wants to see me go down in flames" to put it as my DJ did.

    It&#039;s just like, if I see a girl who is doing a lot better than I am, I think "how can I be doing this better?" If something like this happens to me, I just say "that sucks, oh well." There are three girls who consistently earn more than I do, and one of them is complaining! The other two I <i>know</i> don&#039;t do extra shit or anything, but they are more aggressive on the floor [perhas too aggressive, I&#039;ve heard one call a guy cheap]. You never see them sitting around, even if they are taking a break they are in the dressing room, not scowling at the crowd. The third, who is complaining, seems to sit around most of the night, but has regulars that spend a lot on her - but if her regulars aren&#039;t there or something, apparently I&#039;m encroaching on her territory.

    Hmm, I might go down to the sister club for a bit. Last time I was there I didn&#039;t do as well as I did at my own club, but the girls are a lot more aggressive there, this was the one where I had a girl take a customer away <i> while I was talking to him. </i> But at least I wouldn&#039;t have to worry about &#039;stealing&#039; one. And they have lockers, no worries about coming back to find my stuff ruined.

    Sorry this is so long, thanks for all the replies, I thought that I wasn&#039;t doing anything wrong and needed some backing up. and especially the customers, I have had guys say "oh, I only get dances with othergirl" or "I&#039;m waiting for that girl to get off stage" and I don&#039;t get whiny or try to convince him away then. Anyway, it was good to get that perspective in there too!
    "I still have my name
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  18. #18
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    luna.. lol, you poor thing.. BEEN THERE!

    jUST SAY.. if they are your customers, you should be able to keep them from getting dances from me right???

    That will shut them up!! Jesus, a customer is a customer of the whole strip club. You cant steal someone who is content with being with you!!

    lol.. WORK IT GIRL!!!

  19. #19
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    MAN.. Don&#039;t let them say those rude comments to you like that.. Stand up for yourself, or they will continue to TRY and walk all over you!
    You seem like a good girl, just tell them that you are doing nothing intentional, and they need to GET OVER IT!

  20. #20
    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    The best method I&#039;ve found is in the approach. Select a guy from the crowd, walk up to him and ask either "May I join you?" or "Is this seat taken?" That way if a dancer comes up later and I discover that he already had some company, I can beg off by honestly saying that I was invited or was not aware that he had company.

    Regardless of your approach, this is BS. Any man that walks through that door is fair game. What are they gonna do about it, pee on his leg to mark their territory? Honestly!
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Veteran Member afxturnip's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Heh.

    I danced with somebody new the other night who within 1 dance started venting to me (I swear I need to charge for therapy). At the end of a few dances, she said the cutest thing - something to the effect that she wanted me all to herself. I proclaimed that it was far too late for that, and she said "Don&#039;t worry. I won&#039;t pee on ya."



    -afx

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Luna, the one thing that gets me is you quoted the DJ as saying "we&#039;re all here to make money and be friends". No, we&#039;re all there to MAKE MONEY and that&#039;s it. I wouldn&#039;t advise you to say that in reply to him, because you&#039;ll then be seen as a catty bitch. But this does shed a little light on the attitude there....

    As for the girls who complain, you say there are 3 and they are the top 3 moneymakers - obviously they see you as a threat to their &#039;top&#039; status. I would remind anyone who brings up the issue from now on, that the simple fact that a girl spoke with a guy does NOT mean he belongs to her, and if he is sitting alone with no extra drinks at the table and does not say he&#039;s waiting on anyone, he&#039;s fair game....even moreso if he asks you for dances. WTF are you supposed to do, ask every guy you approach or asks you for dances if someone else was talking to him before? That is just stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Agreed with Bridgette...you would never make any money if you asked every guy there if someone was talking with him before. As every customer is approached by dancers almost as soon as they sit down!! Just go make your money, and if the top girls want to stay the top girls, then they need to stop whining and start working. That&#039;s really all there is to it.

  24. #24
    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Maiden link=board=27;threadid=8919;start=msg105548#msg105 548 date=1083785132

    Hmm, I might go down to the sister club for a bit. Last time I was there I didn&#039;t do as well as I did at my own club, but the girls are a lot more aggressive there, this was the one where I had a girl take a customer away <i> while I was talking to him. </i> But at least I wouldn&#039;t have to worry about &#039;stealing&#039; one. And they have lockers, no worries about coming back to find my stuff ruined.
    If you leave this club because of the lazy and ignorant bitches whining, id be incredibly disapointed in you. Make them shut up and work or (them) leave. You have every right to be there. And if you&#039;re getting dances, the guys want you there too. Seriously, fuck making friends. Make cash, and go hang out with your friends on your days off.

  25. #25
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:help! apparently I'm stealing customers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Niceguy link=board=27;threadid=8919;start=msg105451#msg105 451 date=1083767638
    However with most guys, they were there to get dances from a variety of dancers. It seemed to me that during stage sets, dancers would do there best to "mark" their territory. Pakcs of cigarettes at the table worked good. Red Bull worked good.

    The best way was dancer straws in a drink as the dancers had different colored straws from customer drinks. Management enforced the "claimed" policy by a drink left at the table because they wanted to sell drinks. All the original dancer had to do was say a word to the waitress and an assistant manager would show up to tell the other girl to nicely beat it. The waitresses thus served as key witnesses in the "customer claimed" policy.
    The customer &#039;claiming&#039; thing is totaly bullshit. Most customers, as you stated, aren&#039;t interested in being claimed and often don&#039;t want the chihuahua-girl screwing up his chances of getting the hottie he really wants to come over. Many of these guys won&#039;t buy dances from chihuahua-girl, and if no one they want comes over, wind up not spending their money on anybody and leave frustrated rather than happy and eager to go back. These chihuahua-girls are among the worst kind of dancers and, IMO, need a good dose of bitchslap!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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