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Thread: George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    Resume For George Bush (Proving that anyone can be President)

    RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH The White House, USA

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

    I ran for congress and lost.
    I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
    I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
    I was elected Governor of Texas With my father's help (and his name).


    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:

    I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
    I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.
    I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
    I set the record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
    I became President of the United States of America after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.


    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    I attacked two countries.
    I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
    I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
    I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
    I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
    In the first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
    After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
    I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other president in US history.
    In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
    I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any president in US history.
    I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
    I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
    I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
    I set the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
    I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
    I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
    I created the largest government department bureaucracy (Homeland Security) in the history of the United States.
    I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
    I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
    I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
    I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight of any presidential administration in US history.
    I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
    I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
    I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
    I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations. My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation). Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The "poorest" multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
    I, with a policy of "disengagement," created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
    I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
    I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
    I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."
    I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months, I have no leads and zero suspects.
    In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks, I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
    I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
    In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
    I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.


    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

    I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
    I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
    I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
    All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
    For personal references please speak to my father, or uncle James Baker. (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group.)



    EDIT: Incidentally, I didn't write this. In fact, i have no idea where I got it. It was in a notepad document on my desktop.

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    WOW!! Madcap!! I actually learned a few things here! I hope it's ok, but I am copying this and sendind it to my conservative, Bush supporting parents!! Thank you, this is brilliant!


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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    All the above demonstrates is that if one takes the time and is not constrained by the truth, one can arrange words in a sarcastic manner.

    The above is as equally stupid as having a John Kerry resume saying "I was so incompetent an officer in the armed forces that I got myself wounded 3 times in 4 and a half months." Or "I have a fish fetish!, 3 of the 8 bills I was a lead sponsor of in 18 years in the Senate were." Or a demand to know where Kerry was the day and day before Senator Heinz plane crashed, and if he was banging Tereaza before he died. This is childish.

    Any thing taken out of context can be made to look bad.


    P.S. A similar set of stupid contradictions can be found in Senator Kerry's taxes. The Boston Globe found when Kerry was running for reelection in 1996 that in the prior 5 years. in 3 of those 5 years he had given precisely $0.00 to charity. This same newspaper is one of Kerry's most vocal supporters today. Not to mention Senator Kerry's long claim to being Irish on St. Patrick's Day until his grandfather's name change was exposed by the Globe(Hungarian).

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    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    Ok, well i do hate bush(ha, more than just one...) but,

    I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
    this isn't true. it was at its strongest durring clintons presidency and started its decline a full year BEFORE the election. you can't blame george for the economy heading down since he got in on the downward trend.

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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    Quote Originally Posted by sander8son link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107130#msg1071 30 date=1084116776
    Ok, well i do hate bush(ha, more than just one...) but,

    I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
    this isn't true. it was at its strongest durring clintons presidency and started its decline a full year BEFORE the election. you can't blame george for the economy heading down since he got in on the downward trend.
    I agree on this point as well.

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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    Quote Originally Posted by montythegeek link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107129#msg1071 29 date=1084116771
    Any thing taken out of context can be made to look bad.
    LOL, that's sure not something you would need to tell Karl Rove and the rest of the Bush campaign team.

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    As an item of note, the traditional rule of thumb among economists who do not have a partisan axe to grind is to date the administration's impact on employment to a point 6 month's after the president took office. That means July of the first year of an administration, not January. Fiscal policy has a lag of 3-5 months in prompt measures of the economy and employment is a lagging measure of the economy.

    This rule is applied independent of which President is being discussed. As a point of fact, in the last 12 calendar months of the Clinton administration (jan 2000 to January 2001) a total of 300,000 private sector jobs were created. Not 300,000 per month average like the last 2. So no one believes this measure was chosen to bias the figure, the private sector tally is actually a superior measure since it does not distort for the very large number of very temporary government employees to collect the census in years divisible by 10. It is also the number Senator Kerry likes to quote (albeit he does not believe 60,000 airport security jobs when security was federalized are real jobs and just offset an equal number of private sector jobs lost).

    PS: July private payroll employment was 800,000 from the February peak and fading fast. Also Bush Cheney were arguing that the economy was going South fast in the Fall of 2000 and argued for a tax cut and Al Gore was saying everything was hunky dory and wanted a lockbox.

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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    Quote Originally Posted by montythegeek link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107129#msg1071 29 date=1084116771
    All the above demonstrates is that if one takes the time and is not constrained by the truth, one can arrange words in a sarcastic manner.
    Agreed. There's no questions this is just intended to be a humorous, carcastic slam piece. For example, the issue about Houston replacing L.A. as the #1 city of polution is a fallacy. This made a lot of news years ago until the facts came out...that Houston was always bad LONG beofre Bush was on the scene, but one particular year, weather patterns changed dramaticall in each city and the methods for actually testing this statistic changed also. These factors, and some others (I'm trying to remember details of this issue from several years ago) made Houston higher in the pollution scale than L.A. for one year.

    This is childish.
    There's no question about that.

    Any thing taken out of context can be made to look bad.

    P.S. A similar set of stupid contradictions can be found in Senator Kerry's taxes.
    Absolutely. For example, Kerry's resume could probably contain,"Protest with Jane Fonda, Voted to hurt the military every chance he could, and Extensive ecconomics experience by marrying two women and ineriting their fortunes"

    We can go back and forth on this all day, it's not going to prove anything.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:

    [quote= link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107168#msg1071 68 date=]

    For Rayanna's now missing message.
    http://rope.wrko-am.fimc.net/kerry/0...harity_gap.jpg

    Xerox of Globe column from 1996. Direct links to it on the Globe's web site are only available for an archive fee as are all such old items.

    PS I apologize it was 2 out of 6 years, not 3 out of 5. One year he gave $175 out of his 130K income.
    I did not post the link until challenged because I indicated this nit picking of minutia can make anyone look foolish.
    Ps for Dancer Wealth: I like the use of carcastic. Want a pic of John's SUV in his driveway? LOL

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    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re:

    [quote=montythegeek link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107176#msg1071 76 date=1084126940]
    Quote Originally Posted by link=board=1;threadid=9040;start=msg107168#msg1071 68 date=
    I like the use of carcastic. Want a pic of John's SUV in his driveway? LOL
    Hehe...a bad typo on my part. Is this the SUV he claimed he never owned until confronted about it? Wasn't his response that he never owned one then the photo came out and then he said it wasn't his, it was his wife's. The the response to that from a reporter was, "but isn't your wife a member of your household?"

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    I found it pretty amusing, evidently. Hell, there's some reason I saved it to my desktop. I'm still trying to remember where I got it.

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    Veteran Member Weluckyfew's Avatar
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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    I think Bush is an absymal failure as president, but i agree this list is stupid. You can hang Bush very easily on facts, when you bring in all this bullshit of half-truths and exaggerations it sorely weakens the argument.

    It's sad the author saw fit to add all the spurious accusations, because the 60to 70% that are true make a damning enough case.

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    Default Re:George W. Bush's Resume (This should prove interesting)

    I like the part about the Slasher movie. I'd like to get my hands on a copy of that.

    Incidentally, on rereading it (and doing a bit of finger counting) i suppose this was written about a year ago. Mentions 18 months after 9/11 a couple of times, which means it's been on my desktop for quite a while (I really need to clean out my PC, 60 gig hard drive and like five gigs of it are free).

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