In late April I went to a bookstore to but a couple of books I had on order. I get to the new mall in Saint Louis and at the books-a-million enterance there is a line out the god-damed door. I'm thinking "HUH?"
I go in, go to customer service, get my books (Emperor: the Gaqtes of Rome and Emperor: The Death of Kings, about Julias Caesar). People are everywhere. I flag down this chick with a pierced face (She had a LOT of shit in her face) and ask what the hell is going on.
"Emeril is here."
"Who the f*ck is Emiril?" I ask.
She looks at me like I am a new arrival from Venus, and says "He's a famous Chef."
Like I know anything about Chefs. I cook guy stuff. Chilli, Burgers. I Barbeque. That, as I thought, was a man's lot in life as far as cooking goes, to burn either the food or the mouth of the person eating it.
I look around me. There are people everywhere. All this for a COOK? I look down the center isle of the bookstore. There's this italian looking guy sighning books for people. I shake my head and go to the checkout.
I wait.
And wait.
Finally i get to the cashier. I ask what the big deal is. She tells me that this Emeril is a big time chef with a cooking show on cable TV. I see a bunch of this guy's latest book stacked up behind her. I turn and look at the Italian guy signing books. IU think Mother's day, i have yet to get my mom anything for Mother's day...
Then i look at the line and think oh fucking shit...
So I buy one of the damn books and wait in line for almost an hour and a half to have this guy sign it (I was told he wasn't doing personalizations, only writing "*BAM*, Emeril" on a certain page (I was instructed to have that certain page open for him, the page with the book title).
I get the damn thing signed, and leave as quickly as possible.
The whole process took me forever!
However.
I have dinner at my Mom's three times a week, along with the rest of my immediate family. My DEAR GOD am I happy I bought her that cookbook!
The Meatloaf she made yesterday was probably the best ever!
So maybe there's something TO this mother's day hassle, after all.(hehehe)
At any rate, This post was disguised as one thing when it really was another. Hope the mothers got the meaning behind it.
God bless Mother's day!
Incidentally, she liked it a lot. Cost me twenty five dollars and about four hours of annoyance and my Mom acted like it was something from King Priam's stash!



(hehehe)
Reply With Quote


Bookmarks