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Thread: Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

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    Default Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    Lately, after a short break (maybe two weeks), I've found myself DREADING work. It came pretty much out of nowhere. I think it's related to the fact that a lot of my friends are getting to run around and enjoy the summer, and I feel like I have to work when everyone else is having fun. But the biggest problem is my attitude. I can be fine until I walk onto the floor and then BAM. My confidence is low and I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't know what to do on stage and get bored and worried the customers are bored too. When I do feel like talking to people, it is REALLY HARD to have any interest in them, even enough to make small talk. And a lot of men lately seem to want me to bend the rules (both mine and the clubs) and it leaves me constantly feeling like I have to keep one eye on the customer (to keep him from going too far) and one eye on the manager (to keep myself out of trouble). I give less mileage than a lot of my coworkers (it is a pretty low mileage club overall, though) because it's what I prefer but also because I don't want to get in trouble since I am the new girl here.
    I am just really burnt out on this and on my entire financial situation and how unfair everything seems. I try not to drink at work but lately it seems like I might have to just to stay in good spirits. I know I should just 'snap out of it' but for some reason this time is harder than usual.

    Help?

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    Veteran Member oceanblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    It sounds like you really arent cut out for the exotic dancing business or it just isnt the right time for you right now. If your having confidence issues at work, you should stop and evaluate whats making you that way. Its probably most likely your financial situation because thats a common problem among us dancers every once in a while. Have you considered getting a normal part time job during the day. I did that and it seems to have made me alot happier. It makes me look forward to dancing and then when i dont make money, i feel okay cuz i know ive got backup. as for worrying about getting in trouble with your customers, i say lay down the law and if they dont like it, then tough, find another girl whos willing to deal with their perv shit. In this industry you cannot show anyone your weak side because thats what the pervs are after, they can see it in you that you have low confidence. you need to get your problems under control before you drag the weight of them to work with you. youll feel alot better once you take care of everything that bothers you.
    Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    That's one thing I was thinking I should do too, get a second job. I've just been a big baby about giving up free time, I guess.

    I think part of my confidence issue is also it seems like the customers go for more of the Pure Sex Airhead types here and the other girls are more capable and willing of pulling the act off than I am. Just gotta keep at it I guess!
    I've done well in this industry before and I will again!

    Thanks!

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    Veteran Member oceanblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    I know youll do great girl, you just gotta be willing to give up your free time alittle. thats why i suggested a part time job, so that way you still have some days to yourself. I also say work your own attitude on the floor just accentuate it alittle, you dont have to act like an airhead, just look happy and youll do just fine. guys like to see you smile!
    Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    It totally annoys me when my boyfriend asks me why I need time off from work. He always says you missed three days you could of made 1500, I just want to scream at him like " No I would have made shit becuase I feel like SHIT!" don't underestimate how essential your mental health is apart of making money. If you feel unconfident and unsure of yourself it wil show through to customers and will affect your money. When I take a week off work I usually feel better and come back next week and bank! Sometimes all you need is a little time off. Go on to the floor and think of yourself as a supermodel. Guys can smell fear! Sound and act confident in everything you do when on the floor. I know it may sound stupid but working out three days a week before work gives me total confidence with taking my clothes off and it is a proven fact that 30 minutes of cardiovascular activity can improve your mood just as much as antideppresents!! Good luck girl!!!

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    I agree with the part time work thing, even if you have to cut down hours at the club you will probably make more money overall. If you have a higher sense of self respect/confidence it makes work easier.
    I can completely relate to abadvi as I struggle with work at times too.
    My favourite saying to myself is 'whatever'... just go in, mingle, smile, be an idoit if you need to and try and have fun. Try not to think about how much money you need/want to make as somehow the guys seem to get a bad vibe from that. Just think of the whole thing as 'getting out of the house and exercise'. Having a lighthearted approach about it makes it easier for me. And in the morning it will all be over anyway.
    Also when guys start trying to bend the rules I just say.... 'it doesn't bother me hun but if I do I lose my job' seems to work for me. If that doesn't work just put your foot down, don't be afraid to be rude. At the end of the day fuck it, you are better then them and better then that so just remember that you are bigger then you think you are (inside) and let it all just fall off you! And remember 'whatever!'

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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    Sounds like burnout and/or cabin fever to me. Maybe you need a little vacation. I know it's not always easy to find the money for that, but if you can swing it at all, a little mini vaca might do a world of good. Take a road trip, stay in a cheap hotel, swim in the pool, eat junk food, lay in the sun, whatever. It doesn't have to be expensive to be relaxing. :cool:

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  8. #8
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    I'm not aware of anyone who has ever said on their deathbed, "Gee, I wish I'd worked more."

    Do what you need to do for yourself. That's not dancer advice. That's life advice from an old fart who's still trying to learn that.

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    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default Re:Turning 'it' on when taking a break isn't an option

    I've been working at Centerfolds since 2001 and I recently began to feel burnout, too.

    I did some looking and discovered job openings at a local bike messenger company.

    Now, I work as a bike messenger 5 days a week. I've lost weight, got a tan, made some extra money, made some new friends and my stress levels have gone down.

    I again have a life outside the club.

    As far as a part-time job goes, I'd advise you to look for a job you'd enjoy, rather than just a source of extra money. If you grow to hate both jobs, you'll be in worse shape than you are now.

    If you cant find a part-time job where you are, try doing some volunteer work for a local charity.

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