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Thread: my man and dancing

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    Default my man and dancing

    I've been dancing for over a month and my man doesnt know . I have 2 kids and nobody to watch them during the day so that limits me to only working at night. He wants me to have a job and help him w/exspenses. I dont like hiding shit from him but we need the money. I dont know why guys would have a problem w/their woman dancing and Im getting pissed at him b/c I have to hide it from him. He has told me he wouldnt like me tp strip BUT what the hell does he expect me to do for money

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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    wow hun that is a sucky situation, You dont have anyone to watch the kids during the day so I dont know what to tell you about that, what does he think your doing at night? Anyways I believe in a honest relationship and think maybe he should know but on the same hand my fiance knows I strip well did and calls me all this shit and wont let me audition so I dont know, Do you really like stripping, or is it just a money thing? I mean if your not happy doing then thats a whole nother story.. im sorry if i just confused u more lolz...

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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    That is a tough one. Men can find it awfully hard to deal with their g/f dancing, they don't like other guys looking at what's "theirs", and also struggle with the fact you are flirting with other men for a living.

    I think you should sound him out a bit before you tell him. Ask him if he's been to a strip club, what he thinks of strippers... Or tell him you're thinking of taking a pole dancing class and see how he reacts

    Good luck.

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    Featured Member NikkiD's Avatar
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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    Yikes, what does he think that you're doing for work? Are you sure that he won't be ok with it?


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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    I recently broke up with my girlfriend for that very thing. Not because she became a stripper... I would have loved her in spite of that. But because she lied to me about it for weeks. It ruined the trust in our relationship and we were never able to get it back. I always had doubts about what she was doing at work and what limits she had. I would always question that if she lied to me about the work, could she still be lying.

    Just something to think about... if you loose his trust over this, you could end up loosing him.

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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    Sexxxiiimom, you need to be honest and tell your man that you are dancing right away. If you date him for long enough, he will find out eventually-wouldn't you rather have him hear it from you than someone else? A lot of guys are a lot more understanding than you would think.






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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    The lolz dude/chick is back!! Hmmm, I find it hard to swallow that your "man" does not know you strip at night...



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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Sexxxiiimom link=board=27;threadid=9263;start=msg110219#msg110 219 date=1084799235
    I've been dancing for over a month and my man doesnt know . I have 2 kids and nobody to watch them during the day so that limits me to only working at night. He wants me to have a job and help him w/exspenses. I dont like hiding shit from him but we need the money. I dont know why guys would have a problem w/their woman dancing and Im getting pissed at him b/c I have to hide it from him. He has told me he wouldnt like me tp strip BUT what the hell does he expect me to do for money

    can i ask if your "man"is your husband?
    and is your "man"the father of the two kids?
    If I knew the answer to these questions,I think i can give you a great opinion on what you should do.Its very short and to the point,so you may not like it,but non the less its my opinion and its offered at no expense.
    I warn you though,I have 5 daughters,and im gonna sound an awful lot like what your dads opinion might be.

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    Veteran Member Reg's Avatar
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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Kleptoz28 link=board=27;threadid=9263;start=msg113980#msg113 980 date=1085540796
    I recently broke up with my girlfriend for that very thing. Not because she became a stripper... I would have loved her in spite of that. But because she lied to me about it for weeks. It ruined the trust in our relationship and we were never able to get it back. I always had doubts about what she was doing at work and what limits she had. I would always question that if she lied to me about the work, could she still be lying.

    Just something to think about... if you loose his trust over this, you could end up loosing him.
    That is so true. I have been in this business for many years and have seen tons of girls lose their bf's for exactly that reason - not because they danced, but because they lied about it.
    Once someone loses trust in you, it will take a long time, if ever, to gain it back.

    GL
    http://dancertraining.com
    Save a horse, ride a cowboy

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:my man and dancing

    Ask and ye shall receive. Just don't expect to like it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sexxxiiimom link=board=27;threadid=9263;start=msg110219#msg110 219 date=1084799235
    I've been dancing for over a month and my man doesnt know .
    Ok, like, whoa. Hold up right there. In this day and age of self-help books and talk shows and pop psychology (which proliferates at the same scientific rate as a mad rabbit) you simply cannot tell me that you've never heard about the importance of honesty in a relationship. By skulking about and hiding things from him, at the worst you make it clear that he has little reason to trust you. At best, you send the message that you don't find him supportive or reasonable. This needs to be corrected, and the way to do that is by the compliment.

    *kisses Schnookie as he arrives home from work* "I've the biggest surprise for you! No, you can't have it now... *wink*... you have to wait until the children are in bed."

    After the children go to bed, blindfold him and dress in your stripper gear. Allow him to remove his blindfold and then perform a show for him, striptease and lap dance but handcuffing of him optional. Sometime after the post-coital cigarette, he will be wildly curious as to how on earth you learned how to do this. This is where you tell him that, for a special surprise, you found a way to get out to a strip club from time to time to learn how best to put on such a show for him but were so pleased with your progress (and his anticipated reaction) that you couldn't possibly wait for (Christmas/birthday/anniversary.. whichever is closest). If he reacts with anything less than appreciation, pout that he didn't like your gift and despairingly point out (without whining) how hard you worked in the hopes of pleasing him.

    Yes, you are lying but the truth is far more damaging to his ego. You should know by now, as does anyone properly in love, that shielding one's partner is one of your primary duties. Telling the bald truth make make you feel better, but will likely make him feel awful. Don't. But I digress...

    His response will indicate if you can, at some point over the next week or month, bring up dancing professionally for money. Do not ask, just cheerily mention that it might be a good idea and you would like his thoughts on it.

    I dont know why guys would have a problem w/their woman dancing
    Their woman? A woman is not a possession, to be referred to in the same manner as "their dog" or "their car". If this is his attitude then I suggest you no longer suffer him such delusions. If this is your attitude, then please cease this instant.

    and Im getting pissed at him b/c I have to hide it from him.
    Hold on just a bloody minute. You're hiding it voluntarily, and it's not fair to him to be angry at what you chose to do of your own free will.

    He has told me he wouldnt like me tp strip BUT what the hell does he expect me to do for money
    He expects a job, but not this one apparently. By the way, this is a reasonable stance for an attached man to take. You two have agreed to share your lives together (presumably); that means that you now share a life and need to make mutual decisions about what would be best for your household. If he is familiar with strip clubs and wishes to shield you from some of their harsher aspects then I can hardly fault him, the same as if you counseled him to look for work other than a job which demanded excessive overtime and no benefits. If he is unfamiliar with strip clubs then he should be allowed to witness firsthand the realities and left to decide for himself if he can feel that his wife is properly safe and happy in such a job.

    Either way, a frank discussion is long overdue. Start off with making him aware of your dancing abilities and then move on to planting seeds in his mind about you dancing for pay. Reasonable objections can be countered with reasonable answers such as those you have already supplied (the family is low on money, he does want you to have a job, stripping pays well and daycare would be unnecessary). Be forewarned that unreasonable objections (raging jealousy at the thought of "his woman" entertaining other men) could be a relationship breaker.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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