Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: No Need to Manipulate

  1. #1
    Newbie Gentleman's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default No Need to Manipulate

    I'm a self-employed professional in his late twenties and had never been to a club before until February of this year. I was on the road at the time filling in for one of my salespeople at a four day tradeshow. By the second night I was dreading forcing myself to sleep at an ungodly early hour, so I began to think of things I could do to entertain myself. Oddly enough, the next morning at breakfast I heard two men at the next table discussing a club they had been to the previous night. The way in which they were talking struck me as very piggish, and initially I dismissed the concept simply based on the way in which they were speaking, I would not like to be likened to them. But, as the day dragged on, I decided I would check a club out, and if nothing else walk away with an experience. That night I went into a club and spent about two hours with one of the women there, got two dances and talked the rest of the time. When I walked out of the club I was surprised by how much I had actually enjoyed myself, but dismissed the evening as just an experience in which I had paid a woman to have an intellectual conversation with me instead of sitting at a bar with a bunch of drunks listening to their banter. A week later I learned that I had actually developed a customer in that region through the tradeshow. The customer required a lot of work from me in that market, I have been back in town eight times since then and have gone to the same club and seen the same dancer everytime, probobly dropping between $1600 and $2000 each night. One night, after she told me she was leaving after I did, I offered to buy her a drink, elsewhere that is, she turned down the offer, and I appologized for putting her int he situation, and never mentioned it again. A week ago I was in town again, and went to the club again, one of the first things she said was that she would like to hangout with me outside the club. I turned the offer down because, I knew that I probably would not be back in town for another six months, I explained this to her, and that given that, she was proably better off keeping me as a customer. I mean, I'm not about to plan trips to the area based on one night out with this woman, and, not to mention, from what she said the first time, and what I have read on the boards here, it could cost her a job. I am not married, nor do I have a S.O. Throughout that night she began making comments that I found very surprising: "You make me feel very comfortable," "I'm so happy I met you," and, "You don't treat me like a stripper." :o The last comment was what in fact led me to this site, and henceforth to create this post. To an extent, I felt like I was being hustled for some reason, I wasn't amused. I have not attended any other clubs to date, and really haven't had any intentions of doing so. My question is, is it ever legitimate? Regardless of what it is, I will stop by again if I'm in the area, form my perspective, I enjoy conversation, but, if I am going to continue to visit this woman, I do not want to feel like I'm getting worked, major tunoff, I might add.

  2. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    11,302
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 143 Times in 72 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    here we go again....

    You were being worked. You might be wondering how I can be so sure. It's because you always give her money, and it's a lot of money. Just because she wants to see you outside the club, it doesn't mean she's not thinking business.

  3. #3
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I agree with Emily.. you're getting worked.

    Dropping $1600 to $2K a night on a dancer is just absurd for "two dances and conversation".. it would be stupid of her NOT to try and take that kind of windfall outside the club so she's just working the most intelligent angle.

    You sound like the typical workaholic, lonely "nice guy"- which are a prime target at the clubs. You ask her for a drink, then appologize for it. She tests the waters for out of the club, and you decline for her "best interests".. etc.etc. You really should consider getting a battery operated baseball cap that has a lighted sign on the front that blinks "ATM"...

    Is it ever legitimate? Sure, but unfortunately from your current behavior I dont see that ever being the case. You've already "bought" her attention with large sums of cash and this sets a lot of precedence down the road.

    "You dont treat me like a stripper"... yah, dropping $2k on someone to talk about politics or whatnot isn't treating someone like a stripper.. no doubt.. :
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    591
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate


    Ladies are we ourselves the reason that this industry has come down as far as it has? We give away our secrets on an internationally used forum, we air our dirty laundry in front of our customers, and we make it seem as if any and every dancer except us is a lying, thieving, drug addicted, prostitute. Then a few posts later we complain about the lack of customers and business, or the lack of quality places to work.

    This woman may in fact have developed feelings for the man.....at least enough to warrant a dinner date. It isn't as if she has agreed to make him her boyfriend, or as if she told him she is in love with him and wants his babies.

    Up until this point the man has obviously not had a problem with the amount of money that he spend on his dancer. If the two of them are satisfied with this set-up, let it be.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg110327#msg1103 27 date=1084824850
    Throughout that night she began making comments that I found very surprising: "You make me feel very comfortable," "I'm so happy I met you," and, "You don't treat me like a stripper." :o The last comment was what in fact led me to this site, and henceforth to create this post. To an extent, I felt like I was being hustled for some reason, I wasn't amused. I have not attended any other clubs to date, and really haven't had any intentions of doing so. My question is, is it ever legitimate? Regardless of what it is, I will stop by again if I'm in the area, form my perspective, I enjoy conversation, but, if I am going to continue to visit this woman, I do not want to feel like I'm getting worked, major tunoff, I might add.
    Gentleman my response to you is that if you feel that you are being worked than you very well may be. But why don't you ask her? I'm sure a self wmplloyed businessman (who seems to be doing well enough fianancially) has a decent sense of a persons intentions--you've probably dealt with a good deal of fierce negotiators, salespeople and schemers!
    That being said every one in the world is different and one of the major things I appreciate about this board is that we (occasionally) attempt to dispel the common "stripper myths" and stereotypes.......This chick may very well have a personal romantic interest in you, but no one but the two of you can determine that........BTW if you get some advice to just stop giving her $$ and see how she treats you, I'd advise to tread lightly...I've watched lots of guys try to use that tactict, and in my eyes it's manipulative...It's as if the man is attempting to bait or punish the girl for not giving him what he asked for...With guys like that I always think, "gee If I refuse to screw him in the car on the way home will he throw me out?"

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  5. #5
    tampafldancer
    Guest

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I CANT agree with the rest. I don't believe this guy was being worked.
    I have been in a circumstance like this.

    Just because she said she was going to go out with you and didn't, doesn't mean she wasn't interested.(and playing you or whatever!) My conclusions are that something else is going on. Maybe she wants to get to know you before she puts her self out there to see you out of the club? There are a lot of guys who are not gentelmen.

    Maybe there were other girls at the club talking you down! You never know...

    So you want to throw away the chance of possibily knowing a wonderful person, go right ahead. Your loss!

    It seems like you dropped an awful lot at the clubs, just because you are spending the money doesnt mean she is taking advantage of you! You are giving it to her? Unless she is begging for the money!

    In my own experiences, if i ever met someone at the club worthwhile to give a chance, he would have to be patient with me.
    Maybe go back to the club and spend less money, find out what her intentions are??


  6. #6
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Manhattan
    Posts
    3,432
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    She might not be working you but on the other hand she might like your company AND being a bit spoiled by you.

    Test the waters if you really like her. Since you don't seem to have an issue spending a lot do it outside the club and see what happens. Just don't spend quite as much and see her attitute.

    I hung out with a guy outside work once who accused me of "working him". I told him upfront that yeah, I liked being taken to good restaurants and good shopping, but that I actually enjoyed his company as well. If you can deal with that combo then maybe I wouldn't define you as getting worked.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  7. #7
    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    506
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Men make 40% more than women do. That is just a plain and simple fact of life. Most women would love to meet their prince charming so that they won't have to work as a stripper. Do you really think that she would choose to work as a stripper over being married to a nice successful man who treats her with respect? We are no different than any woman doing any job.
    I personally don't work because I want to; I work because I have to. If I could meet my prince charming at work, I'd be more than happy to hang up the old g-string and 6 inch heels.
    Obviously she needs to earn money while she is at work. It is a job.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

  8. #8
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Maybe she's working you. Maybe she's not. Maybe she's working you a bit because it is, after all, her place of business, and she's on her clock, but still enjoying your company.

    Why worry one way or the other? If she's working you, she's doing a great job of making you feel that she isn't. If you are happy and consider your money well-spent for your level of happiness, then enjoy it for what it is.

  9. #9
    Newbie Gentleman's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    From what I am reading, my question was misunderstood. In reading my original post, I can see why it would have been. When faced with the choice of: 1) sitting in a hotel room alone, 2) sitting in a bar with babbling drunks, or 3) sitting with a beautiful woman and having an intellectual conversation. I choose the third, regardless of the cost, I view the cost as non-material in this situation because, while I may allow my business to hinder my leisurely activities, I have drawn the line to never allow money to limit them. I make sacrafices for my business because I like the flexibility that the financial means allow me, and some day, my family. The point here is, I don't go into the club to play games and tell lies. I am positive that dancers are the most skilled people on the planet when it comes to sniffing out a lie. This girl did not get any extra money because of what she said, nor will she. And no, I do not, and will not plan trips to the area around going to the club. I am going to continue going to the club regardless, if these were tactics, stop, there is no point, it will get her no where. I would hate to convey this to her, only to find out that there was legitimacy in her comments, that would most likely be a crushing experience for her, wouldn't you say. From what I have read, there is a 50/50 chance here regarding my original question, what is the best way to clarify that. From my perspective I have treated her with legitimate respect and honesty, and I expect the same from her. No need to manipulate.

  10. #10
    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Most of the time in N. America, Asia, Europe or Australia
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg111348#msg1113 48 date=1084970102
    From my perspective I have treated her with legitimate respect and honesty, and I expect the same from her. No need to manipulate.
    This is pretty much how I looked at things when I was a younger man, and it is also the way I do now (in my mid-50s) because it has worked so well. The way I look at it, if you want someone to treat you a certain way, the best approach is to treat them the same way. Want them to be honest with you, be honest with them. Want them to trust you, trust them. Want them to be your friend, be friendly to them. Want them to respect you, respect them. Want them to be generous with you, be generrous to them. Want them to be faithful to you, be faithful to them... You get the idea.

    And lest this sound too idealistic, let me add that it is not a magic charm that always works. In fact, it often fails; people do not always reciprocate. However, it works a lot more often than the cynics think and better than any other approach I have ever found. It definitely works better than just "demanding" that someone treat you in whatever way.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

  11. #11
    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Most of the time in N. America, Asia, Europe or Australia
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by Gentleman link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg111348#msg1113 48 date=1084970102
    From what I have read, there is a 50/50 chance here regarding my original question, ...
    Like some of the early respondents, I think it is actually much more likelly that she is trying to play you than that she is legitimately interested, but that doesn't matter. You should still give her a chance (while keeping your eyes wide open to watch out for any attempt to con you). As in so many things, most of the profit/reward/gain is in the exceptions to the rule, which you will miss if you always "play the odds".

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

  12. #12
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I have to strongly disagree with Nina here since this sort of thing crosses the line.

    There is nothing wrong with dropping basically two mortgage payments a night on some dancer, provided this is what the customer wants to do and there is no misrepresentation about the entertainment value involved. Hell, there are business travellers that hire $5K courtesan escorts (as in the no-sex kind) so as they can have a beautiful and sophisticated woman for breakfast, lunch and dinner... but it's a contractual thing that the escort makes damn sure there is no misrepresentation. The customer expects to be the only man in the world for the time paid and no hidden expectations.

    But in this case, the guy is sitting here holding the "is it real?" bag.. when *everyone* knows the answer here. If it WAS real, he could drop the tipping altogether and she'd still be interested in seeing him for a drink. Who wants to wager where her attention goes the moment the windfall duckets stop?

    Gentleman-
    You're getting setup for some big dissapointment if she's playing that card with you. Again, there is *nothing* wrong with going and dropping some serious cash if you're finding yourself entertained and feel the dancer in question is worthy of such financial pampering. It's all good if your whole, entire plan is "enter club, pay her X bucks, leave the club satisfied".. If it's in some deep, subconscious way trying to woo her or even the slightest fleeting fancy of her + you and dating, picket fences, etc.etc.. be prepared to be dissapointed. In no way do I condemn your activity or spending habits, but I DO condemn them if there is agenda or motive behind them.

    Basically, imagine she is married... or has a very long term boyfriend. If either case changes things for you one bit, then maybe it's time to rethink things a bit. If neither case throws any curveballs, then go spend and enjoy.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  13. #13
    tampafldancer
    Guest

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    tactics!!! I can't even believe you!
    Dont just assume things, unless you truely know.

    Im sorry, i can no longer read this post!!!

    You sound as if you are manipulating the situation in your own mind.

  14. #14
    tampafldancer
    Guest

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    You say you are being worked? Then why drop 2k on her??

    for instance, there are certain things that get in the way sometimes.
    Things that you have no control over. Assuming is not an option.

    I dont know, i would think if SHE is reading this because SHE did refer you to this site, i believe it is very possible she would be hurt by certain accusations.

  15. #15
    Newbie Gentleman's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I don't think I'm assuming or accusing, I think of it as weighing both sides of the coin. From what I have read so far, there is truly no interpretation that can fairly be made at this time. But, I do feel it important to understand both perspectives, and I believe that many others in this situation, in the past, have as well, dancers and patrons alike. Right? Everyone's posts have been very helpful and are very much appreciated.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    591
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg111396#msg1113 96 date=1084979865
    I have to strongly disagree with Nina here since this sort of thing crosses the line.

    But in this case, the guy is sitting here holding the "is it real?" bag.. when *everyone* knows the answer here. If it WAS real, he could drop the tipping altogether and she'd still be interested in seeing him for a drink. Who wants to wager where her attention goes the moment the windfall duckets stop?

    If it's in some deep, subconscious way trying to woo her or even the slightest fleeting fancy of her + you and dating, picket fences, etc.etc.. be prepared to be dissapointed. In no way do I condemn your activity or spending habits, but I DO condemn them if there is agenda or motive behind them.

    "You make me feel very comfortable," "I'm so happy I met you," and, "You don't treat me like a stripper." were all said after she turned you down for a drink-- not before..Perhaps she had time to review the situation and her feelings for you.......I tend to turn down offers when they are first presented but I can think of 5 guys that I've gone out with for lunch, dinner etc. and it only happened after I knew them for some time and felt comfortable with them and thier expectations.....I am usually the person to follow through on it ie: guys offer dinner dat I say I'll think about it or I don't have the time...he gives his # says call if you change your mind and if I do then I go out////or I'm in the mood to party and invite someone I think I have a good vibe with along.....They would of course be someone who didn't view me as a one-dimensional "stripper", and whith whom I felt comfortable and happy or relaxed.

    The dancer never stated that she'd only go out with him for $xxx or implied that providing her with extra $xxx would result ina future date. If she did then Gentleman never stated that fact. The customer in fact came back to see her and presumably spent $$ on her even though she turned him down previously--- Gentleman doesn't say tha she called him up begging him to come in and when he did that she offered to go out with him, or that he spent comparitivly little $$$ on her during his last trip and that that may be what prompted her to ask him out and say all those thijngs----

    Basically Ladies & Gents we all know that dancers are people too. We are allowed a change of heart (and a lot of typos), ----
    NOw I must rush off to work- so I'll fix the typos later
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  17. #17
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Thank you for your reasonings/justifications Nina. I can totally see where you're coming from and it does make sense.

    The clincher of the reverse for me was Gentleman's admonition of feeling it appropriate to appologize when he first asked her for a drink. I really don't know, but most guys don't feel the need to appologize for a friendly offer unless a certain chill forms in the air... and this is generally not the case if there is even the slightest bit of chemistry.

    I hope I never implied or made it sound like strippers aren't people too. Anyone that knows me would understand that is not the way I think, feel or behave. In no way do I stereotype, but all the subtle clues Gentleman gave in his original post formed a pretty clear image to me of what's happening in this specific situation. It in no way applies to any other situation, people or "in general" kind of thing.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  18. #18
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    591
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg111770#msg1117 70 date=1085015595

    I hope I never implied or made it sound like strippers aren't people too. Anyone that knows me would understand that is not the way I think, feel or behave. In no way do I stereotype, but all the subtle clues Gentleman gave in his original post formed a pretty clear image to me of what's happening in this specific situation. It in no way applies to any other situation, people or "in general" kind of thing.
    Polecat I didn't think for a second that you thought of us as anything less than complete women, and I've always enjoyed reading your well thought out ( and occasionally hilarious) posts. We just view this situation differently --no biggie

    BTW shouldn't this post be in Customer Conversation, not Hustle Hut?
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  19. #19
    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Most of the time in N. America, Asia, Europe or Australia
    Posts
    1,337
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg111953#msg1119 53 date=1085039804
    BTW shouldn't this post be in Customer Conversation, not Hustle Hut?
    I guess that depends on whether you or PC are right about her intentions!

    Fwiiw, I can see both sides of this coin. Although I agree with PC that there were parts of Gentleman's initial post that seemed to suggest that the dancer is most likely to be playing him (or, more charitably, only doing what she thinks she needs to do to hold onto an excellent customer in hard economic times but with no personal interest in him). However, it was also clear from that post that he does not yet really feel sure what her intentions and motivations are.

    Personally I have been in similar situations and had similar uncertainties quite a few times over the last 3 decades or so. Based on that experience, I would suggest that his best course of action is pretty much what he plans to do (as I understand it), namely to go ahead and explore a possible "outside the club relationship" while keeping his eyes (and mind!) open to all the possibilities. That is what I have done, circumstances permitting. In nearly all cases it has quickly become obvious to me that the lady expressing interest in getting to know me better was actually concerned primarily with increasing her rate of withdrawls from my wallet. "Nearly all" but not literally all. In two cases, there was real interest, and those two women, especially one of them, far far more than made up for the "disappointments" with all the others. One of them remains to this day, more than 10 years later, one of the more important people in my life.

    So, bottom line, I agree with Nina more than PC. He might be more likely to be correct, but as with so many things, the exceptions to the rule are more important than the typical cases.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

  20. #20
    Newbie Gentleman's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I know this thread is a dead horse, and that right about now, I am beating it, but, there are several points I would like to add for my personal satisfaction. Call it closure, I guess.

    It's all good if your whole, entire plan is "enter club, pay her X bucks, leave the club satisfied"..

    This is precisely the way I felt about the situation, after I got turned down. Therefore, I continued to return. Afterall, its not a date club, its a strip club.

    Basically, imagine she is married... or has a very long term boyfriend. If either case changes things for you one bit, then maybe it's time to rethink things a bit. If neither case throws any curveballs, then go spend and enjoy.

    Oddly enough, I looked at the situation from this perspective as well. No curveballs, so I continued going.

    The dancer never stated that she'd only go out with him for $xxx or implied that providing her with extra $xxx would result ina future date. If she did then Gentleman never stated that fact. The customer in fact came back to see her and presumably spent $$ on her even though she turned him down previously--- Gentleman doesn't say tha she called him up begging him to come in and when he did that she offered to go out with him, or that he spent comparitivly little $$$ on her during his last trip and that that may be what prompted her to ask him out and say all those thijngs----

    Never implied $ for a date, never called or made contact, and I never slowed my spending.

    I really don't know, but most guys don't feel the need to appologize for a friendly offer unless a certain chill forms in the air

    There was no chill, in fact she replied that there was no need to appologize.

    That's all, thank you all very much, and once again, sorry to beat a dead horse.



  21. #21
    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    louisville
    Posts
    184
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 9 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    gentlemen......... if your ever in KY , look me up!

  22. #22
    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    la la land
    Posts
    1,143
    Thanks
    71
    Thanked 114 Times in 68 Posts
    My Mood
    Cool

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    I think that there are at times very legitimate friendships that are made. I have made a few...... of course I would never have a sexual relationship with any of them, and in this particular instance, I think she may have actually been flattered by his demeanor....which....let's face it ladies, we don't meet too many nice guys like this one.

  23. #23
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Personally, I'm not sure this is much different than any other setting where you might meet someone. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I don't trust people I've just met no matter how genuine they might seem.

    I went to a club last week and spent a lot of time talking with a very beautiful woman (honestly the most attractive i've ever met), she seemed to really like me and she asked for my phone number etc, even went so far as to say she really wanted to spend some time with me outside the club... but I won't really know if that is real until it happens... too bad I won't be back in SF for a couple weeks because I genuinely like her and I'm curious to find out more.

    Hopefully she wasn't acting, because I would return to the club even if she never said anything about wanting to get to know me better, but if it turns out she said those things and was faking, then I don't know if I'd be so interested in going back anymore... it wouldn't be so much fun if knew she was dishonest.

    I didn't spend very much money at the club and I said I would never be able to afford to be a "regular" but she still wanted my number and talked for hours etc, so thats the main reason I am still thinking about her a week later

    She did call once and give me her own number etc, but since then I've only called her, and she hasn't called me.

    I guess only time will tell. I'm glad I spent some time reading these forums as that was my first ever trip to a strip club and I now feel like I have a better understanding of how things work without having to find out as many things the hard way.

  24. #24
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by linuxfreakus link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg120265#msg1202 65 date=1086818665
    I'm glad I spent some time reading these forums as that was my first ever trip to a strip club and I now feel like I have a better understanding of how things work without having to find out as many things the hard way.
    Welcome to StripperWeb and glad to hear you had a good time in my beloved city.

    But please.. do NOT form any "better understanding" from what you read here (or at the blue site) since what you find posted and discussed are almost always the negative, and never the positive. Think about it- people dont post and seek advice when things are pretty clear, so you'll see an overwhelming degree of slant towards the opposite.

    While it's important to know all sides of the coin and be aware of all possible outcomes, if you let this taint, jade or discolor your experiences, you may be self-fulfilling an undesirable end all on your own and thus sealing your own fate.

    That being said, and keeping in mind this is coming from a *highly* biased source, your inclusion of SF into the mix would tend to make me lean more towards the positive. Not to discount lovely dancers in other regions, but SF is a very liberated city, sex is generally readily available and holds lower social value, and there are just tons of fun things to do. Given this unique climate, combined with the stellar quality of women working the many SF clubs (which are some of the hardest to work in nationwide, by the way), tends to make these kinds of things more genuine. Obviously there are gold-diggers everywhere, but I'd say SF dancers have all been pretty stellar people and always looking for more cool people to add to their rolodex as activity partners. The chip-shouldered guys or hidden agenda guys might have a different portrayal, but I'd expect nothing less.

    Obviously, proceed with caution- but try to bury or lose the doom and gloom. If you're looking for genuinely "good people" - I think your chance of success in SF is substantially higher than in most other locales, in my biased opinion... and of the SF dancers that I know personally, they reconfirm this reality on a daily basis.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  25. #25
    Newbie
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:No Need to Manipulate

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=9;threadid=9272;start=msg120338#msg1203 38 date=1086832027
    Welcome to StripperWeb and glad to hear you had a good time in my beloved city.

    But please.. do NOT form any "better understanding" from what you read here (or at the blue site) since what you find posted and discussed are almost always the negative, and never the positive. Think about it- people dont post and seek advice when things are pretty clear, so you'll see an overwhelming degree of slant towards the opposite.

    While it's important to know all sides of the coin and be aware of all possible outcomes, if you let this taint, jade or discolor your experiences, you may be self-fulfilling an undesirable end all on your own and thus sealing your own fate.
    Yes, I liked SF a lot. Definately the most interesting city I've been to, I plan to make many return trips.

    I am keeping an open mind about my experience at the club, approaching it with a glass half full attitude. If things dont work out, I won't be too disappointed. I figure I have very little to lose, and possibly a lot to gain.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. How to manipulate them.
    By chelsea3578 in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-15-2007, 10:40 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •