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Thread: being rejected time and time again

  1. #26
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    I feel the same way, almost in tears at times. Even when they say no, I smile and say ok have a good time. I've been dancing for five years and have tried many diffrent approches. I guess it doesn't matter how good I look. Its seems they only get a dance if they intended to. This club I worked at seemed like a lot a guys come in to drink beer and watch naked girls walk by for free. I have great breasts ,not fake. It seems the bigger the better. I refuse to change because they like them big. Good luck! It's a cruel world.

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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox link=board=27;threadid=9550;start=msg114163#msg114 163 date=1085595731
    Quote Originally Posted by Cali_Tiffany link=board=27;threadid=9550;start=msg114159#msg114 159 date=1085595623
    21st......

    LOL!!! You just told me how she does it.


    Tiffany
    lol, yeh i guess so but i dont hav the energy to keep it up like that, i get frustrated too quickly!
    All I have to say is that I'm with you there! :o I would love to have the high energy to keep going and going. My problem is that I do have that high energy but it doesn't last... esp. if a shift is longer than 5 hours.

    Or if a shift is around 5-6 hours and the club is dead... I need stimulation... either more stage sets or an interesting conversation..and if neither is forthcoming.. well.. what am I to do ???

    I too get frustrated too easily and quickly. I don't take the NO personally at all. Just that I get frustrated with my lack of progress, lack of patrons esp. those prepared to stay and spend and/or how I'm bored.

    Once again.. I hear you!


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  3. #28
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    doc catfish - the dancer i speak of does not have one regular. she dsnt spend long enough with guys to hav regulars, she is too busy.

    and we get marked for each dance we do cos they take commision off every dance, so i cant "lower my price" and i wouldnt either, i need to make money!

    lauralove, your original reply was brilliant thank you.

    doc catfish, lauralove was not talking about having a pretentious attitude, its about having the confidence to know they are lucky to dance with you, not the arrogance, there is a fine line, but there is still a line
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  4. #29
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    GCG, i think im just hard on myself. i see the other girls doing VIP after VIP and ive only done 5 normal dances and i start to get frustrated. i get bored easily and hate it wen guys start wasting my time, umhing and aahing about wether to come for a dance and trying to change the subject cos all i can think about is how much money i havent made

    but everyone has given me such good advice, thank you so much. it really is down to my attitude. i cannot let other people dictate how i feel about me. im always preaching that same line to other people, i need to practice what i preach. i guess im just such a drama queen that i revel in a bit of self pitying... god am i that vain!?!?!

    angeleyez, i am such a defeatest, both my parents are too. if that were me, it wldve been very obvious that i wasnt comfortable. i envy people like you who fly in the face of adversity and just try harder. i think i let life walk all over me too easily sometimes. however i am not a total weakling, i think it just takes me longer than most people!
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  5. #30
    Featured Member The_Kid's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    "...it's about having the confidence to know they are
    lucky to dance with you, not the arrogance, there is a fine line, but there is still a line." ??????? I'm sorry but
    that kind of attitude smacks of arrogance. IF, you were
    THE dancer in your club that all the customers wanted
    a dance with, it might be a little more understandable
    but the gist of your original complaint was that you were
    NOT and were hurt and confused as a result - or did I
    misunderstand the whole thrust of your post?
    A customer is not LUCKY to be getting a dance from you.
    That's what he's paying for. If he got to take you home
    and spend the night with you that would make him
    LUCKY.
    I'm all for confidence , a healthy self respect etc. But
    maybe there's something about your affect or demeanor
    that is a little too haughty ? I don't know but maybe you should think about it.

  6. #31
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    the following is what ive learned from stripping for the past 3 months and what i told someone else as advice cos theyd just started:

    "if the night is busy, i approach the side of their chair and lean across them with a big smile and say "hi, whats your name?" and they sometimes jump and we laugh and introduce ourselves and i ask if theyre enjoying their night and what brought them in, then, all the while stroking either my body or theirs or both, i ask if theyre here for a good time and then say "shall we go get naughty in the VIP room?" or something like that

    i never sell a normal dance. £20 for 3mins or £60 for 15mins? for VIP you pay for 3 dances and get 2 free in a more private and comfortable area with no one else around you where we can spend some quality time together

    well i try anyway, it doesnt always work, but you if they say come back later, then go back in half an hour and say "are you ready for me now?" SMILE SMILE SMILE be flirty and touchy and naughty and cheeky. have fun and look busy, dont stop moving and asking people, if you look busy, then they will think everyone wants you and theyll want you too. dont sit down and chat if its busy, if its quiet, then sit for about 4 songs, then ask for a dance, if he says no, then say you really must get back to work as much as youd love to stay and chat, that reminds them youre also there to make money. if they want you to stay then tell them in as nice a way as possible that they would need to compensate for the money you wont make if you stayed and talked with them. tell them you can earn £100 an hour, if they dont like that, then move on. you are there to make money, not friends (not all the time anyway )

    wen you finish a dance, go in close and say "do i need to stop?" they wont always say no, carry on, but it gives them a reason to stay, sometimes guys dont know that they can buy more than one dance in a row, this is a way of showing them they can. often they feel bad for telling you to stop and then this usually keeps you on their mind, so go back to them later and ask them if theyd like to pick up where you left off in a seductive manner.

    i dont know, all this is all well and good saying, but it dsnt always work. make friends with the other girls and ask them what they do, sometimes theyll be nice enough to help you. watch the girls who make the most money, see how they treat the customers.

    get botox on your smile so you never stop smiling hehehe!"
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  7. #32
    Banned LauraLove's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    Hi again ! If I may make one more suggestion instead of saying "do i need to stop?" when you finish your dance try " do you want more"

    the word stop is a negative term and subconciously puts a guy in a "stop" mode where as the words 'want' and "more" have a positive effect. Idealy, you want to encourage them to continue enjoying your dances rather to end the session.

    Let us know how things go

  8. #33
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    I prefer "shall we continue?" whilst rubbing my knee against their crotch........

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  9. #34
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    *laughs* Same here, Katrine, though I'm more likely to be on the lap, hug like I don't want him to leave and whisper in ear a "do you want to keep going?"
    then it kinda sucks because I have to pay the room manager up front, kind breaks the moment, but yeah.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  10. #35
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    id love to know what its like to do a contact dance with someone you dont know

    you must feel like little angels doing guys favours
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  11. #36
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox link=board=27;threadid=9550;start=msg114146#msg114 146 date=1085594449
    ok bare with me here people

    i am not bad looking, some say stunning and gorgeous with amazing eyes and a good body as well as a shining big smile

    so why do i get said no to all the time? it gets to the point where i cant help wondering if there is something wrong with me?

    i smile and stroke and ask about them, then ask if theyd like a dance and they say no or maybe later. 90% of the men i ask every night say no to me

    someone's theory is that theyre either intimidated by my looks or they get a kick out of saying no to me cos id probably do the same to them if we were in a normal club.


    here: this is me: [img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0SQDfAqwVFwt2YLa829yXKgVJxLpG1z6qK7qN*GWOqwMiIuTAu n!5Qkcpo63qHCLS3JVVaoxuGUMF!3nov6b0fg86xcLSDiTAbUg fssOdDU9pz6Rca0Ht!A/03%20(fhm).jpg?dc=4675472359383830448[/img]

    where am i going wrong?
    I expect I will get flamed for trying to be helpful, but a couple of people kind of hinted at the intimidation factor, so here goes... All I have is one picture to go on. In your picture I think you look like a classic, proud, strong, blonde bomb shell (aka HOT), but it is possible that look is working against you. Why?

    Some guys (self included) do like women to be strong and proud, but we are also kind of screwed up (hehe) and are also looking for a woman that also displays a look/signs of compassion, softness, submissivness, kindness, etc. It is a fine balance. I think if I saw you in a club (based on the one picture) my reaction would be she is hot, but she is un-attainable emotionally. Now I know that is very shallow, but things move quickly in strip clubs, and us customers have to make our decisions about who we buy dances from based on a few (quickly formed) first impressions. A SC is a fantasy world, and part of the fantasy is the belief that there is some connection between the customer and dancer.

    I guess what I want to say then is you might want to try softening your look some. I have some ideas of minor changes that might convey a softer more approachable look (e.g., darker hair color, darker lipstick, softer clothing), but softness/approachability is conveyed by many subtle cues and it is hard to be sure what will work best.

    Just to be clear. I think your gorgeous, but I know I tend to prefer dancers that convey a sense of approachability. Most (normal) guys know it is a fantasy, but we want to be drawn into that fantasy. Women that can draw a guy in and make him believe she really wants him will do well in a SC.

    As an alternative you might try a club that generally has hotter, prouder women in general.



  12. #37
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:being rejected time and time again

    Great advice!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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