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Thread: a few questions on dating dancers

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    Newbie alexkkzx's Avatar
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    Default a few questions on dating dancers

    hey everyone... let me start off with a little info on myself

    I just started in the "industry" djing at a club in eastern washinton... its my first job at a club and I was wondering if the ladies... DJs and the like had any advice on dating dancers and whether or not it is acceptable in your clubs

    just wondering and this is a serious question not a joke

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    Featured Member sander8son's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    advice on how to get them to date you? or how to proceed/what to expect when you date them?

    my opinion would be to 1) never date a dancer. 2) i wouldn't date a co-worker especially if shes a dancer.

    you see, most dancers tend to be women, and we all know how terrible a species they are. by dating a dancer, esp at the club you work at, you're just asking for a shit storm.

    but if a couple wanna slam ya, no strings attatched, go for it. i just wouldn't get emotionally invested in any of them.

    but what do i know, im neither a dj nor a dancer (nor a bouncer for that matter).

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    Newbie alexkkzx's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    thats the general feeling I get but I was wondering more or less how some other clubs looked at djs/employees "bopping" the girls. I have already had more offers for no strings sex in the past week than in a year as I am the youngest DJ thats ever worked there (20 years old) But at this point I'm kinda sketchy on it (shrug) and of course the fact that I'm "fresh meat"

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    Veteran Member DestinyDevine's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    if you can deal with watching her grind on other guys then maybe jealousy would play a big role in your relationship if not careful but if you can make it work out than id definetley say go for it just be prepared because it doesnt sound like it would be a really easy relationship to stabilize and maintain for everybody i guess id say its more of a personal security issue i have seen it done however and been sucessful up untill the "dancer" decided to relocate to another club and he didnt trust her not being able to see what she was doing at this seperate club and vice versa lol fuck man im confusing myself do you think youd be emotionally stable enough to realize that this is her job? if so than you could always try it but never look at it as it going to be this perfect thing, i could also see jealousy from other girls at the club towards her knowing shes with the dj in my eyes id say no but you are your own person the worst that will happen if you try is a sticky situation and a lesson learned or in a good light a stable thing that lasts a long time i would definetley think about it though before jumping into anything
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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Well, I guess it's good to know the strippers in "east washington" are so hard-up to be throwing and swamping multiple no-strings sex offers at the young, broke kid in the booth.

    It means either: cut back on the meds so the line between reality and nappy time is clearer, look for Allen Funt, or get fitted for a collar.

    :
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Well its not like every girl in the club has "thrown themselves at me" polecat... I'm not the best thing since sliced bread and I know it. so its no an ego issue its just that I dont know what to do and am asking for advice K? And destiny thanks... and I would understand that the job is what it is and involves alot of flirting.... but my ex did that to guys for free and I didn't let it get to me that much so I figure if I'm dating a girl who other guys will pay to hang out with...

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    Veteran Member DestinyDevine's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    well alex just becareful ive watched situations that started off thru rose tinted glasses turn into really bad upsets with alot of heartbreak dating a dancer alone is hard for most men to cope with let alone dating one at the club which like with any job can seriously do some damage in the work place but keep your head up and good luck babe lol
    So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better. Does it make it any better?
    And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade. -Dashboard Confessional

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Most of the dancers I met who were into having no strings attached sex with the DJ (or anyone that worked at their club) were not really the kind of women you wanted to date seriously.

    Is it acceptable? Yes.
    But is it good for your business, and your money? Hell no!

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Be professional.

    Sleeping with dancers will get you caught up in club drama and that's a pretty good way to lose your job.


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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Honey first of all don't ever think there won't be strings attached if a dancer is offering 'no-strings sex'. It ain't gonna happen. Remember you have to go back and work with these girls. They DO talk sh*t amongst themselves and someone WILL get pissed off at you and proceed to make your work life miserable. If you take Susie up on her 'no-strings' offer this week, then take Bunny up on hers next week, you can bet even if you try to be discreet they'll figure it out and one or both will get pissed. Never believe a dancer (or any girl for that matter) when she says she'll bop you with no strings.

    Second screwing or dating the dancers is generally frowned upon at most clubs, even though it happens at ALL clubs, it's still not a good idea, especially as the newbie.

    Third you have no idea what kind of psychos some of those girls may be, and getting involved with any of them outside of work could cause you a world of sh*t both in and out of work.

    Finally, again, you have to work with these girls and anything you do outside of work WILL get carried into work. If you have problems with someone outside the club it WILL bite you in the ass at work. Best not to sh*t where you eat.



    Of course most likely at some point you'll find yourself attracted to some girl at work in more than just a sexual way, and you should be very careful with that too. Employee-dancer dating and relationships happen all the time, but most don't work out positively in the end.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Straight up-
    I feel that DJs should not date or screw dancers. It is unprofessional to me.
    I know of a DJ who was married to a dancer, their marriage didnt last for many reasons.(mostly too much opportunity on both sides and not enough trust)
    Im sure there are the exceptions out there.
    I've also seen some DJs grabbing hugging all over pretending theyre having sex with the dancers.(Im thinking of one girl in particular) That kind of behavior might attract attention. but I see it as dirty to say the least.
    As a DJ, you should be very careful how you conduct yourself.
    Flirting with the dancers is one thing. HAving sex with them, and grabbing them like a piece of meat is another.
    Your reputation as a DJ is important, so be careful.

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    thanx everyone for your input.... you guys(or actually ladies ehem*) have alot of good points. And I've come to the conclusion that any of the offers of the "no strings" stuff is stuff I wouldn't want to touch with a ten foot pole anyways

    P.S. thanx again destiny

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    The girls making these offers are probably NOT the girls making the most $$$, just the ones with the most time on their hands. Better to concentrate on being professional in order to get the most tips from the girls who will tip you the most.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    If you are into drama... and maybe losing your job ...then take one of these girls up on their offer.... otherwise just politely decline and you will be yesterdays news in no time.

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    O.k. I'm like the 1 exception to the rule because I've been dancing for almost 5 years and for 3 of those years I've been dating the DJ and for 2.5 years we have been living together! He treats me like a princess! Before I met him I was in a very abusive relationship, drugs and the whole nine yards. Got rid of him and found love in the most unlikely place! It takes alot of trust and a whole lot of patience! But it all boils down to it we know that at the end of the night we're coming home to each other! So your asking what does the management say? Well we had to hide it for awhile then when they found out they weren't happy. But after awhile we proved ourselves and they saw that we have never got in a fight at work, never caused any problem with the girls or anything so now everyone is fine with it! The only problem I ever have is sometimes girls will be catty and tell customers that Im the dj's girlfriend I hate that! It just comes with the job though!

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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    I wouldn't go for it, though I had a pretty amusing dream about almost having a threesome with my DJ and my BF [and they ended up playing xbox. Damn them.] but basically the DJ is kind of "above" the dancers in the SC Employee Hierarchy. Try to date at your same totem pole level in that same club - some other club it isn't an issue, but like any other job, if you're dating the boss and mysteriously you get away with crap and no one else does, you'll be hated.
    Like in my club the DJ and this one dancer roommate. Who can always skip rotation when she wants, or go on an extra time if there is a full stage? And he doesn't do it purposefully, but feels obligated and it can be a mess.
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    i have been dating dancers for a while nto because they are dancers but because thats all that i seem to be atracted to. the only prob is that they seem to be more jelous than non dancers. ive had one girl try to nock my door down cause she thought i was in my house with another girl just because i did not open the door fast enought for her. yet another walked into a strip bar and in front of all my friends threatened to kill me if i did not leave the funnest thing you had to be there for that one . and yet another time i was giving a ride home to two other girls when yet another one tryed to ram her car into mine when she saw that. i dont have a problem seeing any of the girls i date at work i find it arowsing and i know that half the time she is just doing her job to me its like someone starting my car but im the one who will do the driving. we who date dancers must remember that dancers are just like any other woman they have hearts to and can be broken but if treated right you will have a good woman that will love you the right way.
    The only Bush i like is between your legs.


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    Senior Member Diva's Avatar
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    Default Re:a few questions on dating dancers

    Well I say definately don't shit where you eat. Nothing good can come from it. Be professional, it's okay to be attracted to the dancers and nice to them and always respectful. You'll bank big, you should always keep a straight head. If you don't really care about your job and got it to meet girls then be selective and also know one day it will end. In NY the girls are not allowed to have their boyfriends or husband come to the club because it always cause problems. The guy would get a dance maybe to be polite or to really enjoy it but the girfriend/wife would be jealous and they'll be a fist fight. However it goes on ( managers & owners dating girls ) bouncers, host ,Djs, waitress, massage girls, shot girls, etc always end bad. People loose their jobs. When the relationship doesn't work out one or both gets fired, if it's the owner then the girl has to watch him with the next girl, she's no longer gets special treatment and so on. I don't recommend it with any other co-workers.
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