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Thread: why do some guys not want lapdances?

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    Curious Guest jade_from_nj's Avatar
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    Default why do some guys not want lapdances?

    it's kinda weird for me, I don't know maybe you noticed this either but there's a kind of guys who just come to the club, drink, talk to their friends, the same regulars as he is, sometimes tip, but never ask for a dance. their main argument is "I have never did this, and don't want it". so is there any way to change his mind? because nothing works...

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    Veteran Member DestinyDevine's Avatar
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    maybe you have to go about getting a dance from him in another way kinda seduce him lol but i know quite a few guys that go to clubs for the same purpose i dont know i guess to some guys drinking socializing and watching beautiful women from afar is good enough lol how do you usually approach him..?
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    You should be askong the guys for a dance and not waiting for them to ask you.

    It takes sitting down, talking to them briefly and once the rapport is built then selling them. They have to be persuaded once you've broken the ice with them.

    Some guys want more contact than the club is allowed to give. many times the club doesn't create enough floor momentum where the guy feels obligated to buy because most other customers aren't buying.

    Other times if the guys are in their 20's and in groups they are embarrased to have to pay a girl for her services.

    And other guys want sex, over dances.

    Some guys don't have the money.

    Most guys who buy dances though are buying you. The dance is just a way for you to get paid.

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    Veteran Member oceanblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Matbe the guy just made an agreement with his girlfriend to only watch and not get dances. In this case, its best to move on. But if hes just being a hard sell, You gotta get creative and talk for awhile so the guy will warm up to you. Also when guys do that it might mean that they dont have the money to spend and really are just there to watch. I usually give them my best selling lines and talk to them and if that doesnt work i move on, cuz i am not about wasting my time. 6 hours can go by too fast for you to worry about things like this. I often dont approach guys who come in in pairs for this very reason. They usually turn down every girl. Also watch the guys reaction to all the girls, if noone can make him budge from his seat, then dont waste your time.
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    I found that the ones who will actually tip the dancers and buy drinks but just wont buy dances usually are the type who don't feel they should have to or that they don't need to pay for "it."

    They come in a few different styles: First off my favorite of this kind of customer

    The polite tipper. He chats a bit over a drinks and slides the dancer a 5 or so when tells her he's not into dances. He can be a loyal customer and make for good company when a dancer needs a "coffee break"

    Then there's the dating service ones

    They do alot of maybe laters and never really say no to dances.They spend most of their money on buying drinks with the occasional big flash tip to get a dancer attention. They ask for dates and get huffy easily from rejection. They will also sometimes try and stick a foot of tongue down a dancers throat and other such disrespectable behaviors.

    Then we have the low income ones

    They simply can't afford dances. They sip on drinks and are very quiet. They tip a single dollar to a handful of dancers on stage. Every great once and awhile they will splurge and buy themselves a dance as a treat. These guys are one extreme or the other either very sweet and adoring or they can be extraordinarily bitter.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    I agree with oceanblue. Sometimes the guy/s have girlfiends,and /or dont have the funds.
    I have even seen guys who are so uncomfortable in there that they put down (usually when in a group) the other guys who are tipping us girls. They usually have no respect for the guys in there nor us dancers. These guys frustrate me(and I wish theyd get the hell out of the club asap) and I ignore them and usually focus on the ones who are interested in getting a dance.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Guys say they don't get dances because they don't see the point... they don't see paying for getting turned on when nothing can be done about it. I'd prefer it if these types stayed at home.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tigerlilly link=board=27;threadid=9749;start=msg116884#msg116 884 date=1086195798
    I found that the ones who will actually tip the dancers and buy drinks but just wont buy dances usually are the type who don't feel they should have to or that they don't need to pay for "it."

    They come in a few different styles: First off my favorite of this kind of customer

    The polite tipper. He chats a bit over a drinks and slides the dancer a 5 or so when tells her he's not into dances. He can be a loyal customer and make for good company when a dancer needs a "coffee break"

    Then there's the dating service ones

    They do alot of maybe laters and never really say no to dances.They spend most of their money on buying drinks with the occasional big flash tip to get a dancer attention. They ask for dates and get huffy easily from rejection. They will also sometimes try and stick a foot of tongue down a dancers throat and other such disrespectable behaviors.

    Then we have the low income ones

    They simply can't afford dances. They sip on drinks and are very quiet. They tip a single dollar to a handful of dancers on stage. Every great once and awhile they will splurge and buy themselves a dance as a treat. These guys are one extreme or the other either very sweet and adoring or they can be extraordinarily bitter.
    This is EXACTLY what I was about to say. These types are not going to buy a dance, so when you learn to recognize them, just stay away, don't waste your time.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    No particular order, but as I guy my guesses would be...

    1.) They don't have a lot of money to spend.

    2.) They have SOs to go home too and don't want to smell like another woman's perfume.

    3.) They are there with others that they have to maintain an appearance of control in front of (e.g., co-workers, or friends that might report on their activities to the SO).

    4.) They have psychological quirks/pride/problems/morales? with letting a dancer get close, or with the thought of having to "pay for it".

    5.) They are really gay and deep down aren't turned on by women.


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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Im new...but being an occasional sc patron i think i can give my own pov that might help.

    Sometimes we just dont want a lap dance, either b/c we have a girlfriend(but if you have a girlfriend who doesnt want you there you shouldnt be there in the first place) or we're just not in the mood for all that.
    Sometimes we are only there b/c our other friends dragged us there....so spend your time on the friends that seem happy to be there.
    For some guys a lap dance can be frustrating(if you know what i mean), but just sitting in the club watching the stage dancers might not be.

    Personally....sometimes I want a lap dance, sometimes I dont. Depends on how I'm feeling. Even if I dont want one I'd still like to be in the club chillin with my friends having a good time, and enjoying the beautiful girls on stage; but i just dont want a lap dance.

    The only thing i can suggest if a guy is with his friends and doesnt want to get a lap dance...use peer pressure to your advantage. Make it known to his friends that hes turnign down a dance and what not. Most guys will give in to his friends yelling at him to get a lap dance...most likely one of the friends will probably even offer to pay for him too.

    Hope that helped somewhat.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    I've met a lot of regulars at my club, a few in particular, who don't get dances because a fear of falling to deep into the game they see going on. They see guys come in and get talked into a dance and leave with empty wallets like chumps. I think may not want to become that which they see. Basically these guys know that we girls know what we are doing and know that with something very erotic like a lapdance they might fall into a hopeless victim instead of a friendly regular.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Another new phenomenon is of course that guys check customer BBS posts about different clubs and different dancers. If some dancers in you club have been reported as giving very "satisfying" lap dances, whereas you have not (or worse, you have been reported as being an air dance queen), then guys can now use this information to turn you down BEFORE spending $20-$40-$60 to find out for themselves if you'll "loosen up" after a few private dances.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Quote Originally Posted by jade_from_nj link=board=27;threadid=9749;start=msg116796#msg116 796 date=1086188360
    it's kinda weird for me, I don't know maybe you noticed this either but there's a kind of guys who just come to the club, drink, talk to their friends, the same regulars as he is, sometimes tip, but never ask for a dance.
    If the point that you're making is that these guys are coming to the clubs in groups, then there's your explanation. I've seen two primary types of groups at clubs.

    a.) Older guys (age 30 to old age) who simply come in to have a drink and watch some beautiful women after a day at work, on the golf course, beer league softball, etc. This type of customer has the money to buy dances, but buying dances is not the point of this specific visit. They just came in to unwind, have some overpriced drinks and some eye candy. Usually these guys only stick around about an hour or so, then head home.

    b.) Younger guys (mostly under age 25) who don't have the money to buy dances unless they're cheap ($10 or less). For some reason these guys almost always come in threes (occasionally fours). Many times they will sit in a row at the stage seats, act obnoxious, and find creative ways to make their collective dollars stretch. When they find a gal that they like, one of them, usually the one in the center seat drops a dollar on the rail. This way while the dancer comes over to collect the money from the guy sitting in the center, the two guys in the adjacent seats get a decent show for free. In some extreme cases, I've even seen these guys change seats so they'd each have a turn in the center.

    their main argument is "I have never did this, and don't want it". so is there any way to change his mind? because nothing works...
    That's generally an excuse to hide the real reasons why. Always ask (there are exceptions to every rule), but as long as they have their minds made up, its doubtful that you can change it. A general rule of thumb is that customers are generally more willing to buy dances when they're at the club on their own than when they're in a group. Many of these same guys will act entirely different during those visits.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Sometimes they don't see any attractive women for their tastes. Why pay for a dance when you don't really want it?

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    This may seem a little silly, but i think some guys, especially younger ones may be embarrassed to get a dance. I know my husband is. I have taken him to clubs several times and practically badger him to get a dance and he won't do it. I also couldn't convince his twin brother even though i was paying.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Some guys are just cheap bastards.


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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    These guys are sometimes club regulars, and hang around from about 3:30 p.m. to about 5:00 p.m. Maybe they are broke. Maybe they
    just do the drinks in the club.

    In the showbar I like, it tends to double as a big neighborhood
    heavy regular development club during day shift. Club ownership tolerates these guys for the following reasons. (These are not reasons dancers will like, but club management thinks they are OK)


    Day shift is increasingly slow. At least they buy drinks at the higher prices a strip club charges. They will walk up and tip a dollar or two
    to dancers they like on stage. The club would look exceedingly empty at times without them around. They continually come in the club, don't cause problems, and do buy drinks.

    The main bar area is a "safe" area where an owner, manager or assistant manager tends to hang out talking to people. While dancers can hustle in this area, over hustling in this area will draw a disapproving look from management or ownership. Dancers who have a relationship or want to talk to these guys are allowed to continue
    as it is their risk. Usually a dancer will talk to this type of guy because they know them and there isn't any other viable or better alternative in the club at the moment.

    As the club slowly switches to "night shift" the bar seems to lose it's "safe area" off limits shield for customers. However on good nights, dancers are busy on the floor, or in more lucartive areas of the club when there are targets of opportunity available. The bar area is not a "dance rich customer environment" especially if there are other
    paying customers about.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    See I have a similar problem. When I used to dance, I had the "virgin body"...perky boobs, real small etc. But ever since I had my daughter it's harder for me to make the money some of the other girls make. I'm no good at "hustling" I guess you could say. I'm still physically attractive (still skinny and all) and get tipped pretty well onstage, but I'm lucky to get one dance a night. what are some of the things you say that make the guys want a dance?
    (Also, for the record, I will admit I'm a air dancer....I cannot stand drunk guys touching me. Of course, our club has cams in the back and are VERY strict, so that's my excuse )

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Actually, Tigerlilly is right. I noticed that these guys are like friends or so. I can talk with them when it's slow night , to take a "coffee break" and feel like myself, not like a stripper. it's good though, because whem I see such guy, who comes and stays almost all night, I can tell i.e. to a nasty guy, "sorry that guy wants me to come". I still remember one guy of this type, and I really do hope to meet him this year...I think about him like a good friend of mine.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    I am a rookie when it comes to strip clubs & lapdances. With as little experience as I've had, though, these are the following reasons why I had, or my friends have declined a lap dance:

    1) some guys are just too embarrassed or insecure to have a beautiful woman he doesn't know give him a lap dance. These guys, however, usually loosen up after a few drinks
    2) the obvious - doesn't have enough money. However, don't assume us younger guys don't have money, or aren't willing to spend!!
    3) Is with a large group of friends/co-workers/associates/etc., and doesn't want to come across as a pervert.
    4) Has a girlfriend/wife, and thinks or has been told it's ok to look, but not touch beautiful, nude women.

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Quote Originally Posted by onyxxx link=board=27;threadid=9749;start=msg117189#msg117 189 date=1086246572
    what are some of the things you say that make the guys want a dance?
    A lot of girls just run up on you and are just say "you want a dance". Just cause we're men doesnt mean we're that easy....HAHAHAHA...who am I kidding. Well at least we're not that easy when it comes to taking our money.

    The girls that always put in a little effort to talk/flirt first always end up getting the dances with me and my friends.

    Oh and if there is a guy there with his buddy, and his buddy goes and gets a dance...then go snatch up that guy, b/c he probably wont want to sit alone until his friend is done. He'll probably take a dance too.

    Just my two cents

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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    Some guys are just depressed. They might have money and look good, but they're sad for some reason and come to strip clubs to isolate.... I can play this type when I'm tired, and it attracts sad dancers who open up about how lonely they feel. I might say I can't get it up, but after 20 minutes of talking and affectionate touching, we'll do some GFE dances.... It's kind of a hidden SC layer, but I almost wish I were in that layer more often, because I kind of like girls who are pretty, on track, and sad.

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    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    If the guy is a regular, who regularly spends very little money esp on me then I wouldn't waste my time. They may get asked for adance every 4-6 months or so and I will always smile at them. But why waste your energy? Providing these men with any more free entertainment than absolutely neccesary is a waste of time...... I'll give every one 2-3 chances, but after that it's your loss dude.

    Those types are good -- as NiceGuy said -- during slow periods so that the club looks busier than it actually is, but they also harm the club atmosphere with the negative energy.... The other guys coming in sometimes figure well "It must really suck in here since the other guys are huddled up together at the bar or tables alone and not spending $$. But once it starts to get busy, they generally leave.
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    For me, I never get a lapdance with a girl that works with models for whom I shoot. I feel it's unprofessional to have that kind of contact in a place where business is conducted (or comes from).

    I know it may seem weird (feel free to tell me) but it's part of my "no touch" rule that founded my biz

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    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re:why do some guys not want lapdances?

    but, i tip every girl on stage and in the crowd too! can't have em workign for free!

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