Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

  1. #1
    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    South Salt Lake City, UT
    Posts
    130
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Ok, so heres the deal. Have you ever had a guy that you know find out that you are a dancer and then tweak out on you? I need to know if its just me.
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

  2. #2
    Senior Member AnneKatherine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Greensboro, NC
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Oh girl.......it is not just you. I'll bet the farm about every one of us on this website has had it happen to them at some point. I have had several experiences with this and have come to a conclusion: it is damn hard to date someone outside the business. Of course, it can be and has been done......but it is hard. Without going into my own tirade about this situation, I'll let the other members give you their input........
    Money is congealed energy, and releasing it releases life's possibilities. ~Joseph Campbell

  3. #3
    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    South Salt Lake City, UT
    Posts
    130
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Sorry it's getting to the point where I want to cry some days. Guys who would have never had the guts to apprach me now think that I'm easy and my "big Brothers" hit the roof
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

  4. #4
    Senior Member AnneKatherine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Greensboro, NC
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    I know how you feel...I've been in the business for 9 years and have learned many lessons about dating, while one is a dancer. Here's a few pointers:
    1. DO NOT date anyone you meet in the club--no customers whatsoever, no matter how sincere they may come across. There are exceptions to this, but it's in the lower 10th percentile. So never date anyone you meet in the club.
    2. Dating a fellow employee is okay, but there are big risks concerning that. I will not elaborate on this because there are a couple of really good threads, on this site, concerning work dating.
    3. Take time to get to know yourself and do nice things for yourself, things that dancing can provide--traveling, saving, investing, education, etc. you get what I am saying.......
    Dating is going to be a challenge when you are a dancer......because you are a dancer. You WILL date, if you want....just be keen on the people you see.....learn to weed out potential losers quickly. And please, please take heed to pointer#3
    Money is congealed energy, and releasing it releases life's possibilities. ~Joseph Campbell

  5. #5
    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    South Salt Lake City, UT
    Posts
    130
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Thanks sweetie.
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

  6. #6
    Senior Member AnneKatherine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Greensboro, NC
    Posts
    100
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    You are very welcome
    Money is congealed energy, and releasing it releases life's possibilities. ~Joseph Campbell

  7. #7
    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    hell a -- just kidding, I really like LA
    Posts
    331
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Anne Katherine gives great advice.

    If a guy really wants to get to know you & is mature enough, he will realize that this is a job and is only a small part of who you are -- there's a lot more to you than where you work. Like AK said, the more time you spend getting to know yourself, etc. you will project a confidence that is more than skin deep and somebody who is smart enough will pick up on that and see beyond the job stuff. (I had these same fears too, I understand.) Just don't do anything in this business that would make you feel bad about yourself down the road. Then you won't have anything to be ashamed of.

    There are some great guys out there you don't want to miss out on who ARE open-minded. Don't give up or sell yourself short.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

  8. #8
    Member
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    20
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    So why not an open-minded and mature customer? Looks like there are a few on this board

    The job stuff is really not that complicated - a guy either can handle it or he can't (IMHO).

  9. #9
    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    South Salt Lake City, UT
    Posts
    130
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Trust me I've tried. I just got out of a messy relationship, as AK has heard the tip of the iceburg of. I get tired of the whole "divorcee stripper" thing that alot of the guys around here get off on. My "brothers" seem to think that I am becoming this different person just because of the job, and I'm not. I dont do anything stupid, and I have become so much more aware of myself thanks to this board and such. I get to the point though that all of the bull shit gets to me.
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

  10. #10
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    I first want to appologize if this is a female only posting area. I have dated 3 lovely lady's who work in your industry. The typical sinario of a bunch of guys wanting to go out and ogle girls and me geting dragged along. Inadvertantly I would get asked out. I always thought of what they did as what it was, work. No prying, only asking how the day/night went. Never show up to work unannounce. It's work and should be treated as just like working at an office. There is a social stigma of bringing home to mom your stripper girlfriend i've found as long as I tried to be respectful to everyone it worked out for the best. There are some men who can get over it out there. Hope you find your true love.
    Cheers

  11. #11
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    where there's glitter on the floor
    Posts
    700
    Thanks
    218
    Thanked 79 Times in 53 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    hell yes!! maybe thats why I turned out so insociable in the end. lol
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
    Quote Originally Posted by CandySeattle
    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

  12. #12
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Virginia countryside.
    Posts
    3,299
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    So why not an open-minded and mature customer? Looks like there are a few on this board
    No doubt,but the word to look at again is "customer".
    Once a customer always a customer.
    Its like going to the movies and falling in love with the leading lady.
    Thats not her,its a role she is playing.
    Same with entertainers.
    Its fantasy island and when you leave the island,take only memories with you.

    The job stuff is really not that complicated - a guy either can handle it or he can't (IMHO).
    sorry.They cant.
    If you have never seen a "1 in a million ,longshot ,outside chance"before,this is it.
    Some will say im wrong,they will talk about the few they do know of,but ask them to name a couple born in the club that has celebrated 20 years together.
    No offense to those on the forum who are trying this relationship from the club thingy.

  13. #13
    Guest

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    Yes, I agree with AnneKatherine. It is near impossible unless the guy is totally grounded himself. I have only had two relationships in 18 year, in which the guy totally understood the gig. One was my ex-husband - he understood and helped because he had once been a manager in one of our clubs in St. louis. The other, was a dentist whose last two wives had been a stripper.
    As far as family. I gave up years ago. I am sober now and they insinuate that I cannot be sober and still work in the bar. Right. They want me to work a normal job that includes 40 hours a week, benefits and a stable paycheck. I work one night a week and make more money than they do working all week. Yea, I should give up $100+ an hour for their comfort. This is your life. Of course people are going to freak out. It is none of their business. They act like I am a prostitute or something! If they are paying your bills then I think they have a right to say something, if not, tell them that you are very happy with the $$ that you make and appreciate their concern.
    I have pretty much worked for the same company for 18 years. That, in the real world, would be considered a good thing. But, because it is a strip club company, it is not. I have three degrees and am getting ready to go to grad school. Do they think of this foremost when they talk about me? No, I am a stripper. Not a bad deal for me but is for everyone else.
    I enjoy life. I like your advice AK in taking care of yourself and doing special things. That is what I am currently doing. Basically, I am totally single for the first time since I was 21 and I am really enjoying it. Any guy I am going to have in my life is going to have to have a very big bank account, (aside from other big things) and be totally centered in his life. I don't even usually tell people what I do. It is none of their business!
    Big D

  14. #14
    Senior Member slashingbeauty's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Anywhere but here
    Posts
    116
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    OK, here's my issue.
    I have dated several men who thought it was "cool" to be dating a dancer, but who eventually ended up getting angry at me for my job, jealous, wanting me to quit, etc.
    My opinion is that it's just not fair.
    And then there are the ones who looooove that you're a dancer. I hate this because:
    I am not a stripper outside of work. When I come home and take off my makeup and get into my pajamas, I am not a stripper. I am not defined by my job. Do NOT call me by my stage name when we are having sex. Do NOT introduce me as "my girlfriend, she works at (insert club name here).
    Disgusting.
    The best guys are the ones who are interested, but indifferent. Most customers are out, no offense guys. But certain people will never see you as anything but your profession. It's a matter of finding those extraordinary people who are neither ashamed nor WAY too into what you do. I am proud of what I do, I expect someone I date or am friends with to feel the same way. There are days I consider it a damned public service.
    Here I go, ranting again...
    -slashingbeauty

  15. #15
    Member catfly's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    53
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    I have met men in bars and they were nice to me. The SECOND I said I was a dancer - they ASSUMED they would be able to sleep with me and start treating me like a whore . I will only tell someone what I do after knowing them for several months. It's just not worth the hassle.
    Learn as if you were to live forever, Live as if you were to die tomorrow.

  16. #16
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    I tell people right away to dispell any preconceived notions.I tell them that there's a HUGE difference between dancing and f*cking,that if they thought the latter,they are completely ignorant and should start thinking ideas through.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  17. #17
    Veteran Member ladysummer's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Posts
    332
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:Do guys Treat Y'all differently?

    I am totally not ashamed of being a stripper, but I am hesitant to share my chosen job with new people. Because there are so many stereotypes (all of which are totally bogus) I do not want to bring that area of my life up until I know the person knows who I really am and does not see me as simply a "stripper". On the other hand, I do not lie about what I do because you know that will eventually backfire when they find out the truth. In short, it's a hard job to have and find decent men who will understand you and your job.

Similar Threads

  1. treat guys like sh!t and tip more??
    By blacbarbie86 in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 10-25-2009, 09:35 PM
  2. Why am I only attracted to guys that treat me badly?
    By xfatrabbitx in forum Life Support
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 07-19-2009, 10:33 AM
  3. Do you treat hot guys differently than gross ones
    By SharlaB in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 11-19-2008, 01:45 AM
  4. does stripping make you treat your bf differently
    By fearandloathing in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-17-2004, 01:53 PM
  5. Do dancers treat us old guys differently?
    By FONDL in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 08-02-2004, 09:17 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •