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Thread: Boyfriend/kids questions

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Boyfriend/kids questions

    When customers ask me about boyfriends or if I have kids, I have been glossing over the subject by saying something like "Oh, I have two boyfriends right now, and am taking applications for a backup."

    Is this too impersonal? I hate answering these questions because there is no right answer. It is like a man getting asked by his girlfriend if "she looks fat". Guys, you know the internal groan that goes through your head when your woman asks if she looks fat, this is what dancers go through when the customers ask the boyfriend question.

    Is there a better way I can handle this situation so as to not completely turn the customer off, without giving him too much hope that I will call him for anything besides to let him know when I'm working and when is a good time to buy VIP's w/ me?

    Of course, if he is sweet and attractive, I always want to keep my options open .


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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Quote Originally Posted by ParisLove link=board=8;threadid=10132;start=msg122436#msg122 436 date=1087263150
    When customers ask me about boyfriends or if I have kids, I have been glossing over the subject by saying something like "Oh, I have two boyfriends right now, and am taking applications for a backup."

    Is this too impersonal? I hate answering these questions because there is no right answer. It is like a man getting asked by his girlfriend if "she looks fat". Guys, you know the internal groan that goes through your head when your woman asks if she looks fat, this is what dancers go through when the customers ask the boyfriend question.

    Is there a better way I can handle this situation so as to not completely turn the customer off, without giving him too much hope that I will call him for anything besides to let him know when I'm working and when is a good time to buy VIP's w/ me?

    Of course, if he is sweet and attractive, I always want to keep my options open .
    Yeah, I empathize... it's a definite turn off when I'm asked "do you have a girlfriend?" That's the last thing I want to hear when I have a beautiful girl dancing for me. All that's going to do is make me feel guilty and leave early.

    To answer your question:
    If you're not feeling in a honest mood, or don't want to turn off the customer, probably something along the lines of:

    1) "Nahh... Right now I just wanna have fun with guys like you! Why do you think I wanted to dance for you?"
    - or -
    2) "Why think about our lovers when it's just you and me right now"
    - or -
    3) "All that matters is that you have me right now"

    More than likely, most guys would bite on something along those lines. Gentlemen, ladies, what do you think?

    Although, if the guy is jerk you can answer like the following:
    1) "yeah, and he swings both ways! Interested?"
    2) "Yeah, he's taking me out to dinner with your money "
    3) "actually, I'm a guy, but I do have a girlfriend!"

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    It is an inappropriate question, but it sounds like your handling it fine.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    When customers ask me about boyfriends or if I have kids, I have been glossing over the subject by saying something like "Oh, I have two boyfriends right now, and am taking applications for a backup."
    Sounds good to me, and it's completely believable to boot, given the source.

    Nothing wrong with that and it keeps your options open in case you have genuine interest, as you noted. Never understood the mindset of a guy that would ask that question in the club environment. Like a dancer--who earns her living walking and dancing around men largely unclothed--would not have the fortitude to let a guy know if she were interested personally rather than professionally.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I always tell them that I'm married. Granted, most of my customers are older and married themselves, so it's usually not an issue. They just tell me, "Your husband is a lucky man." It hasn't interfered with my business at all. Some men are actually astute enough to notice I have a wedding band on. You go guys!

    Good luck, hope you figure out what works best for you.

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    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Mine used to be "that depends on what mood I'm in"
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

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    Senior Member RCJ's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I don't see anything wrong with your answers. I generally do not ask this question, mainly because I as a customer feel awkward when it is asked of me. I'm simply not in a club to talk about my wife and son with a naked woman. Gee, wouldn't they be fortunate if I was.
    Just here to live and learn.

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Guys probably ask as a prelude to asking you out, otherwise what would be the point? Personally, I would never ask these types of questions, just as I would not want them asked of me.
    "The girl is crafty, she knew all the moves. I started playing records, she knew all the grooves." -Beastie Boys

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I think having someon ask about that is rude i mean i never ask customers that crap.. i try to avoid it at all costs.. but sometimes you get those *tell th life story* kinda peeps.. I think its rude..


    When i DO get that tho i just say.. A kid and husband? Not Yet! im still having my fun


    and if theyask about strechmarks * i have a few slight ones* i just say i lost weight *even tho that Q makes me mad...


    yeah im lieing outta my teeth but its really noones beezwax..



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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    It's not really their business, but I always give an answer of..."Single"..."Dating on and off"..It really depends upon the person. Normally if I say I am single, They get the idea to start bothering me about a date.

    I try to avoid personal questions, but I think your answers are fine.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I avoid it.. I change the subject or I distract them in some way. So far, I haven't had to answer the question.. I try to keep the conversation light: Are you in town for business, if yes, what do you do, sports, etc.. I try to avoid all questions pertaining to kids/wives/girlfriends etc... seems to be working, haven't had any hang ups yet, and when I do get asked for my phone number, I just giggle and say, "now, if I gave you my phone number, then that would imply that I am interested in more than dancing.. why would I want to get myself in trouble?"

    Paris, it sounds like you are handling it fine.. probably the same way I would if I get caught having to answer the question.


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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I had a dancer actually ask me if I had a girlfriend. It really hit me by surprise. I said I didn't have a steady girlfriend currently. I didn't ask her but she volunteered she was looking for the right guy as she was looking into my eyes and holding my hand. I really liked her but
    was not sure if she was playing it up or wanted me to
    pursue her so I moved the conversation to something less awkward.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Hey, thanks you guys!

    I have noticed a lot of new-to-the-scene customers in the bars lately. Maybe that is why the question is coming up so frequently. These guys are in the same mindset as when they go out to regular bars, and so try to pick up the pretty girl who is gazing longingly into thier eyes (wallet)?

    I expanded on the Two boyfriends comment last night. I mentioned that I was accepting aplications for a third boyfriend, but the "application fee is quite high. Wouldn't you rather have some dances instead?"

    Dancing allows us to be creative in so many ways! I love my job .


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Personally (and I'm sure I'm in the minority on this), I would prefer the honest answer, if I asked the question. (I'm single, but that's beside the point.)

    If you're working in the club and have a BF/husband, I presume that the SO knows what you're doing and that you know what you're doing, so all there is between us is the conversation and the dance. And whether you've got a BF/GF/husband/wife doesn't affect whether I'll continue buying dances - what matters is if your dances are good and I'm enjoying them.
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Paris, it sounds to me like you're answers do the trick. I always tell a guy if he asks. "yes, hun I am married, but he's not here right now so why does it matter?" Most of the guys are really cool about it and still do dances and spend money but, some are assholes about it and go into the tirade: "Well i could never allow my wife to do this as a job!" then I ask well are you married? then they say no, then I say "You ever wonder why that is?"
    Guys that aren't cool about you telling the truth are usually guys who want more than just a dance, so you don't want to have to deal with that too. But I always tell them the truth, weather(sp) it hurtd my money or not. I am damn proud to be married to my hubby, he's a great guy, I'm so lucky and I don't care who knows it.
    Kitana
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    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I like honesty. From myself and dancers. I&#039;m married with kids and over a drink why not talk about family and "real life". Most girls I know open up about their relationships too. I even get shown pictures of the kids sometimes. No biggee. We&#039;re all adults after all. Its the lying about your "real life" which kinda bugs me about this whole business. But I know everyone is different and god knows you guys have to deal with some real winners from my genderr.

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Quote Originally Posted by ParisLove link=board=8;threadid=10132;start=msg122436#msg122 436 date=1087263150
    When customers ask me about boyfriends or if I have kids, I have been glossing over the subject by saying something like "Oh, I have two boyfriends right now, and am taking applications for a backup."
    Sounds like you are handling things just fine. The only "problem" I have with the last part of your answer is that some of the guys may actually start pestering you about being backup. Seriously. I have had times where I have said, "Nope...no boyfriend. Guys are headaches" (with a smile of course) and they STILL say things like, "Not all guys are....Let me show ya" or something to that degree.

    But if its working for ya, and you saying it in a way where they can tell the difference between your little joke and reality, then its fine.

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    For boyfriends:
    "Yeah I do. Granted, he&#039;s blue and loves to remove everyone&#039;s left shoe. Every time I tell him I love him, he says he loves me too"

    If they look at me puzzled, I then carry on with "His name is Stitch" and then change the subject to movies or something.

    It is humourous and diffuses the situation.

    *Note: I&#039;m referring to my Stitch toy which talks back to you when you say certain things to him. One of the things you can say to him is "I love you" and he&#039;ll reply with "I love you too"

    Otherwise, I will refer to my flatmate&#039;s cat:
    "Yeah.. tho&#039; he&#039;s fat, black and very hairy. Hasn&#039;t got balls yet he&#039;s my man"

    Once again I will carry on with "He also tends to get furballs and he purrs real loud when he&#039;s happy"... if they still don&#039;t get that I&#039;m referring to a cat, I will tell them. Then change the subject to animals or something.

    As for kids - that&#039;s easy! I tell them I do have two furry children. They are my children.. well.. I treat them as such alot. LOL!


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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    Tell them you have a girlfriend and as you lean over blow in their direction and ask "How does she smell?"Hahahahahahaha This one is FUN!
    Ok.I have said I have a girlfriend,but I have never done the latter.BUT....you could.
    I don&#039;t have a gf,nor have I ever,but guys seem to like the idea.Plus it gets them sidetracked.This also would be good to use if your s/o gives you a hickey.ieamn! I told her not to do that!

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    When they ask about kids....I always say a dog and a fish-----too much to handle right now....

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    Default Re:Boyfriend/kids questions

    I agree with goldclubbing, if it&#039;s a natural part of the conversation why not talk about it, especially if you&#039;re with a person you&#039;ve seen several times before. To me you get to a point where it would be awkward not to. I don&#039;t usually pry but you&#039;d be surprised how many dancers will tell you their life story almost from the first minute you meet. It&#039;s especially common for dancers to complain about their husband or boyfriend if they aren&#039;t getting along, which itself seems to be pretty common.
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