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Thread: Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

  1. #1
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    Poorly Written Classified Ads

    2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

    Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

    A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

    Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

    For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

    Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

    Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

    Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

    Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

    We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

    For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

    For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

    Great Dames for sale.

    Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

    Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

    Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

    Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

    Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

    Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

    Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

    Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

    Stock up and save. Limit: one.

    For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

    Man, honest. Will take anything.

    Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

    Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

    Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

    Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

    Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

    Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

    3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

    Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

    Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

    Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

    Illiterate? Write today for free help.

    Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

    Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

    And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

    We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00

  2. #2
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    Rhi...i don't get 1? I know by law puppies have to be 8 weeks to sell, and Boston terriers come in show and pet stock. The perfect marking thing maybe? But that would seem to make sense for certain breeders, if the pups are show quality. Leave a message?


    I can't grab the 1st one......HELP. Maybe i had shitty adds for puppies too in the past..lol

    Pamela

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    LOL Pamela.. I think they were talking about the abbreviation for message (leave mess). I had to read a few of them quite a few times before I understood what was so funny about them.. LOL

    ~Hugs~
    Rhi

  4. #4
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    LOL.. These are great Rhiannon!


    >> Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

    Now, that's my kind of restaurant!!

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    I had a funny classified ad for years stuck on my wall when I was in college.

    "Kittens free to good home! Four gray stripped females, ready to be loved."

    I wish I still had it, it would be funny to scan in and use for a signature/icon.


  6. #6
    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    These are too funny Rhiannon

  7. #7
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    Thanks for the laugh, Rhiannon! Those were funny.






  8. #8
    Veteran Member DestinyDevine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    lol rhi cute...
    So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better. Does it make it any better?
    And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade. -Dashboard Confessional

  9. #9
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Poorly Written Classifieds LOL

    Ahhh i see it now. Leave mess. Gosh that is soo like me..

    Pamela

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