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Thread: In Love with a Dancer

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    Default In Love with a Dancer

    I work as a doorman at a club one day a week , about 2 weeks ago a new girl started, she is 19 years old and she has never danced before , I basically trained her how to dance and how to make money without very much contact , and now I find myself almost infatuated with her. I only work there to help pay for my photography business when it is slow and i have never , ever fell for a dancer I used to like to joke they are like family , they put the fun in dysfunctional . So now I am depressed not being with her and it really bums me out when I see her table dance ( I have to watch so no one touches our dancers ) in fact I actully am so in lust/love/ childhood obsesion that I am really bummed out . So my question is to all of you have you ever had something similar with either a DJ/ Manager? doorman/Dancer /bartender ? just curious , maybe I am like this because I am in the tailhook of a bad relationship, but I have worked there for almost a year and never even got excited looking at a dancer ( Autumn her stage ) was the first, well sorry to drag on but I had to let go some sadness and maybe you all can understand Thanks Dave

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    Senior Member darlinpandora's Avatar
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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Hey sweetie. I've been there, done that. It was a good expierience (we parted on good terms), but be careful. Things get sticky when there are feelings involved, and sometimes people get hurt.

    We had a bouncer who got involved with one of the girls, and she broke his heart, much to our dismay..... sometimes the best way to show someone that you care is to let her come to you and then see how it goes. Getting depressed will not do you or her any favors. Just remember that these things are delicate and need extra TLC.
    If you search deep enough in your soul, you'll always find a slight reminder of me.... - TLC Something Wicked This Way Comes

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    Veteran Member Isis's Avatar
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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Awe how sweet ! I luve a romantic

    I have seen relationships bewteen dancers and staff work as well as bomb but since ur feeling some jealousy already I'd not recommend u go further in this case at least not at this point in time.

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    well to be honest I have the biggest crush on the bouncer at work.... I can't help it either but I never have let my job life come into my real life so I leave it at work and let it go at that. Chances are you would be better off doing the same. I have seen things get pretty ugly when dancers date the staff.... but it's good to know there are still hopeless romantics out there.

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg123644#msg12 3644 date=1087459571
    well to be honest I have the biggest crush on the bouncer at work.... I can't help it either but I never have let my job life come into my real life so I leave it at work and let it go at that. Chances are you would be better off doing the same. I have seen things get pretty ugly when dancers date the staff.... but it's good to know there are still hopeless romantics out there.
    I definitely agree


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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    I understand totally, I have an enormous "crush" on the owner of my club. He's so hot and such a playboy. But I know that it would only cause problems if I ever did sleep with him; but God I can dream. I think your best bet is to just be a friend to her, be there for her and if she wants to make a move GREAT! If not, well you know at least you still have her friendship. Hope that helps even a little, But yeah I know what your going through.
    Kitana
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    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    I&#039;ve seen the jealousy second hand between employees and dancers at a club I go to. In second hand I mean as a customer. One of the employees had a huge crush on a dancer who is just a friend of mine although he had it in his head that we were fucking. Whenever we would be having a drink and talking he would position himself close by to "observe" us. Kinda creepy. Plus my friend told me he would do during some of her dances which kind of screwed up her game. Nobody likes an eagle eye when their living in the moment.

    With that said, you may really like this girl. It sounds like this is unique for you, so maybe its is more than infatuation. I believe its important to keep work and lover type relationships seperate, however, if you respect that this is her job, and don&#039;t get possessive and jealous when she&#039;s working...which means being with other guys...maybe it could work. You only work one day anyhow, quit the club and ask her out. Remember: the trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again!

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    I couldn&#039;t tell if you are saying you are feeling jealous when you have to watch her table dance, or just feeling bummed that she is focusing on another guy (which is just her job), but either way honestly how would this reasonably play out for you if she was romantically interested? Would you be comfortable with her being a dancer? a dancer in the same club?

    Like someone else said, falling into a state of depression over not having someone (more often then not) doesn&#039;t help. For many it is a major turn off (they don&#039;t want to be with a depressed person, they want to be with a happy confident person).

    Unfortunately we often have to let our initial infatuation pass before we can really see someone as they are. If you still love her after that passes (and it will pass) it may be better to pursue the relationship then rather than now. I agree you should try being her friend in the mean time.



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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Darren gives very good advice to be her friend and get to know one another. This may be infatuation, or it could end up being true love (although it&#039;s less likely given the setting). But one never knows. Romance is funny. Getting to know her may allow you to find out how she feels about you. If you do begin dating, I&#039;d suggest one of you find another club to work at, if possible. Or work through the jealousy issues. Good luck and I hope things work out for you

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg123641#msg12 3641 date=1087459075
    Awe how sweet ! I luve a romantic

    I have seen relationships bewteen dancers and staff work as well as bomb but since ur feeling some jealousy already I&#039;d not recommend u go further in this case at least not at this point in time.

    unfortuantly im going to have to agree.. Itll be big trouble if you guys date and im sure you know this.. what do you think you will do once you see a guy getting way too friskey with a girl you have it in for.. ? or just plain ol getting jealous because shes dancing a little too sexy for so and so..


    If you werent getting jealous i would probably say go for a date but since you are i advise against

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Maybe Jealous , was not the word I was looking for , but I think that most of you had really good points , I am going to wait and play this out and see how it goes , I do have one comment thou , who needs shrinks when we have stripper web , you are best Doc&#039;s around Thanks all I really do appreicate it a;; my best Dave

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    who isn&#039;t in love with a dancer! you make my posts live up to everything i said check my thread!

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    don&#039;t let your feelings get in the way when you see her dance or maybe possible not watch her dance.....work out all that frustration before you ask her out .....learn to handel the enviorment and her dancing which is only just a job ....it&#039;s nothing personal...............maybe ask her out for coffee or a meal after work one night and get to now her more..

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    darkness you really are a dark and negative person.

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    i think darkness is really ....."special"

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    SPECIAL is definetely the word!!
    You think you know... but you have no idea!

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by photodave link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg123609#msg12 3609 date=1087451890
    I work as a doorman at a club one day a week , about 2 weeks ago a new girl started, she is 19 years old and she has never danced before , I basically trained her how to dance and how to make money without very much contact , and now I find myself almost infatuated with her. I only work there to help pay for my photography business when it is slow and i have never , ever fell for a dancer I used to like to joke they are like family , they put the fun in dysfunctional . So now I am depressed not being with her and it really bums me out when I see her table dance ( I have to watch so no one touches our dancers ) in fact I actully am so in lust/love/ childhood obsesion that I am really bummed out . So my question is to all of you have you ever had something similar with either a DJ/ Manager? doorman/Dancer /bartender ? just curious , maybe I am like this because I am in the tailhook of a bad relationship, but I have worked there for almost a year and never even got excited looking at a dancer ( Autumn her stage ) was the first, well sorry to drag on but I had to let go some sadness and maybe you all can understand Thanks Dave
    Oh My GOD! Me too!

    I have recently found myself lusting after a male dancer. One of the clubs I work at has guys dancing too, but I never have been much impressed with them because mostly male dancers are pretty full of themselves and too metrosexual for my taste. But, There is one guy who really caught my attention. I think it is just a chemistry between us, but when we are in the same room sparks really fly.

    This is difficult for me on a couple of levels. I am married, and happily so. Now, even though we (my husband and I) are pretty open with our relationship, the intensity of feeling with this guy makes any playing around very dangerous. But at the same time, (I&#039;m not even sure how to phrase this) It is like this guy and I can&#039;t help to be in at least earshot or one another if not in physical contact if we are in the same room together. My friend pointed out how obvious our behavior is, and I laughed about it later, but at the same time these feelings are intense!!

    Does this sound like you Dave? For me I focus on the things about him that annoy me. And everyone can find something annoying in just about everyone else. Being in lust masks those feelings, but it is there, trust me.

    Also, it sounds like you have some loose ends to tie up, relationship wise. I recognized loneliness in myself when I started lusting after this other man. Both my husband and I have been working a lot lately, and I travel a lot for work, so this makes it difficult to get quality time in. Sometimes for months on end hubby and I see almost nothing of each other. This lonliness combined with chemistry and extreme attraction, is a volitle mix. Good thing I&#039;m a highly self controled person (haha, I&#039;m not real sure what the meaning of the word "no" is).

    For now, I am keeping my relationship with the other man, light hearted and fun. This is easiest for me, anyway.

    Good luck to you, and it was nice to commisorate (sp?) with you


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Veteran Member darkness's Avatar
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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    tragic beatuy: by looking at your face i think your special what do you have anyway down syndrome?

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by darkness link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg124613#msg12 4613 date=1087613680
    tragic beatuy: by looking at your face i think your special what do you have anyway down syndrome?
    WTF???
    Can you be any more of a handjob?
    http://dancertraining.com
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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Paris , you are awesome thanks for understanding, Darkness , you are not a nice person

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Hope this is not a lame excuse to peddle a photography business



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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by darkness link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg124613#msg12 4613 date=1087613680
    tragic beatuy: by looking at your face i think your special what do you have anyway down syndrome?
    I am not getting involved in this - really I am not

    But honestly bro (or brodette) I mean come on... if you are going to burn someone, do it, fry them good. Come on man, you and I both know she is a beauty (and I do know what downs syndrome looks like). If you are going to fry her don&#039;t even both picking on her looks - we all wished we looked so good.

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    No , not a lame excuse to promo my self I have been suffering for days over this her stage name is Autumn , and I decieded to give it time , it didnt help watching 50 First dates today ,to damn romantic . IF you dont believe fine , but you dont work in my club and lead my life and had my shitty childhood , I was looking for a place to vent and have been on her for months ( March ) so if I am a little emotionally unstable right now , I am sorry I am who I am . I dont judge people until they get mean like Darkness , talk about an chip on the shoulder ok take it easy Dave

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    Quote Originally Posted by photodave link=board=27;threadid=10209;start=msg124667#msg12 4667 date=1087616948
    No , not a lame excuse to promo my self I have been suffering for days over this her stage name is Autumn , and I decieded to give it time , it didnt help watching 50 First dates today ,to damn romantic . IF you dont believe fine , but you dont work in my club and lead my life and had my shitty childhood , I was looking for a place to vent and have been on her for months ( March ) so if I am a little emotionally unstable right now , I am sorry I am who I am . I dont judge people until they get mean like Darkness , talk about an chip on the shoulder ok take it easy Dave
    So share bro... what is that you see (or hear or sense) when you see her that is special, that&#039;s got your heart racing? Sharing may not get you the girl, but it may help alleviate some of the pain of not having her.

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    Default Re:In Love with a Dancer

    Tragic Beauty, a Downs Syndrome face?

    Dude, get your friggin&#039; eyes checked. She&#039;s got a face that could launch a thousand ships.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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