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Thread: Completely Embarrassed!

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    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    Default Completely Embarrassed!

    On Saturday night my boyfriend came into the club and saw a customer putting his hand on my leg and he got really angry. He went completely overboard in my opinion. I didn't think it was right that he got so jealous over something like this! The guy was tipping me..you know? Anyhow, when I was explaining this to him..this drunk guy that I've never seen before comes over to us and starts saying a bunch of stuff that doesn't make any sense and throws in that I smoke cocaine which is not true. Then my boyfriend tells me to go back to the dressing room..and by this time the drunk customer has two other friends coming over with him and this yelling starts up and the manager comes over to me and tells me to go back to the dressing room and I turned to him and told him I wasn't going anywhere. I know that was stupid but at the time I was angry and the way he was talking to me was worse than how you'd talk to a dog. He then tells me again..and I'm saying no..then the third time I just go back and he tells me to pack my stuff and leave and I said fine. So before I leave the dressing room this fighting starts and the drunk customer and his friends went by the stage and started some mess with other customers and they started throwing beer bottles at each other then the customer who was drunk said all these women in here are nothing but a bunch of bitches and hoes and then my boyfriend went over to that guy and punched him in the face, took a stool and hit him over the head with it two times. Then I left out the club with my boyfriend..the manager called me last night and asked if I was okay..and told me to take the following night off and call him when I get back from my vacation. The thing is that I'm so embarrassed over this. Your not allowed to have your boyfriend in the club and I didn't know he was going to come in..he knows he wasn't allowed in there but came anyways. I'm just completely humiliated. Do you think I was acting stupid? What should I do now?

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    Not to be flippant, but find a new boyfriend--one that won't dictate the terms of your employment or place you at such undue risk.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree with Casual.
    Not only could this guy have gotten ya fired, he could have gotten you hit or worse by someone as he threw a punch

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    Member python fan's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree with Casual Observer. Your boyfriend needs what my dad use to say " a trip out to the woodshed."
    "Rejoice O young man in thy youth."

    - Ecclesiastes

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    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    Thanks for replying. I didn't come out of the dressing room until after the fighting was over. It was still a dangerous situation thou!

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    He sound like a dumb ass. get yourself a new coolaid.

  7. #7
    PoleKitten21
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    Wait a minute...he knew he wasnt allowed in the club and yet he brought his happy lil ass in there anyway?
    He has got some issues, I can guarantee you he will be back again, and next time his stupidty might put you in real danger.
    I love my boyfriend to death (we have been togethere for 2yrs) but I wish he would walk to any of my 3 jobs, especially the club....
    The only reason you would have to be embarrassed is if you keep him around.
    Give him his walking papers.

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree your boyfriend should have known better and put more trust in you. I think the fact that your manager called to check on you shows that you are valued, appreciated, and the situation can be forgotten. He could have just said the hell with you or something I wouldnt worry about being embarassed infront of co workers and managment because you may be able to play him off as some nut. The other drunk customer sounds like he would have started some trouble either way. I would be alarmed by the fact that if your boyfriend becomes an EX or you still remian with him, he may go in to blow off more steam then he wont be able to be played off as some nut. If you feel that is a possiblilty it may be an option to take your vacation and switch clubs temporarilly? Or a lookout for him at the club i guess?

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree 100% with Casual as well.

    This guy obviously doesn't take you, you're job or you're livelihood into consideration.. nor does he have any real amount of respect for any of the above.

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    im very curious , did u confront this guy and did he even try to justify his actions? I dont think they are in any way justifiable and he should be let go bc it shows early signs of outrageous jealousy and can only get worse

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    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=27;threadid=10326;start=msg125900#msg12 5900 date=1087857562

    This guy obviously doesn't take you, you're job or you're livelihood into consideration.. nor does he have any real amount of respect for any of the above.

    Agreed!!!!

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    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    It definitely wasn't a smart move that he made. He should have just controlled his temper. It also upsets me that he would get so mad because a customer had his hand on my leg. The funny thing is that he says, "I don't care if you dance on stage or if your giving a lapdance but having a guy touch you on your leg?! Your my woman, etc."
    I want to still dance but I know he doesn't want me too. He never did like me doing this but I'm making good money and I'm cool with it. Why are some people so jealous and controlling?

  13. #13
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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    Why are some people so jealous and controlling?
    This is male nature, and will be very difficult to escape. You will find that the majority of men will find your profession to be a huge turn on...for a while. At some point the initial excitement wears off and then we say "HEY....that's MY woman!" Then we start developing standards and rules for you to follow. This MIGHT be different from someone who actually works in a club...that, I do not know.

    Regardless, what's more important to you? If you desire him at all costs and don't mind be told what to do by him, then do what he wants. If you prefer to be yourself and not define yourself by what a man wants, then move on.

    He knew what your job was, and he knows what it entails. That's why he doesn't like it. That's his right. Given that he never liked it to begin with, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    okaaaaay! Baaaaa baaaaaa black sheep here, chiming in with a completely ass backward opinion:

    first of all, never never tell your boyfriend that certain customers can take certain extra liberties (even if it's just leg touching) for a certain amount of money. Don't ever tell him if you accidently caused the guy to spooge his pants during a dance. Don't share the war stories, they don't want to know.

    2nd I don't think it's a HUGE deal for a boyfriend to come into the club but he knew it wasn't allowed he should have been more discrete. The fucked up part though is you weren't expecting him. He pulled a surprise visit on you and quite surely for the sole purpose of checking up on you.

    There is a reason most clubs have a no boyfriends policy and what you decribed is it! Your boyfriend got jealous, you got mad at having to explain and justify, he basically started a fistfight, and you left work. No more money for you and no more money for the club that night.

    Don't be embarressed. Every night there is new and exciting drama in the club and your incident will quickly be old news. No need for you to post a lookout for your b/f, I can guarantee he will not be allowed in again, at least not on that manager's shift. So you can work happy now. But when you get home from work will be a different story. And dont tell him if you have a big money night. He'll ask, 'why did you make so much? what were you doing?'

    sorry to be a pessimist but quite likely you will eventually be faced with a choice: boyfriend or job. Most men simply cannot handle it.


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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree with the rest of the class.

    The boyfriend has demonstrated that he cannot handle the situation of your chosen profession.That will never get better,only worse.
    This time it was a fist fight,whats next??

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    like umm where are all the bouncers at?? they should of kicked the drunk guy out when he touched your leg or when he went over to your boyfriend talking trash........i would be embarrsed to if this happened to me,but it wasn't your fault, you did nothing wrong.

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree with the majority.... lose him! He totally disrespected you by coming into the club knowing hes not aloud in there. THIS is why clubs have this rule. No offense to those who have BFs or hubbys while dancing but I personally cant do it. I have neither the time nor the energy to keep reassuring a guy that HE is the only guy in my life. With dancing I have lost most of my interest in sex and that would affect a relationship as well. I also dont want one at the moment... for what? I need to concentrate on ME at the moment so its a better option for me. I would much rather have a dog or a cat to come home to. Keep us posted on the situation!
    You think you know... but you have no idea!

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!

    I agree that you have done nothing wrong. Don't blame yourself for any of this madness!

    I don't think the problem is you dancing per se, I think your relationship is lacking some serious trust issues. I understand that choosing to dance is probably a good place for him to focus all of his issues, but it seems to me (and I'm in NO WAY trying to diagnose or seem like I'm there an know what's going on) that he plainly has control and trust problems. If you can't verbally assure him that no matter what you do, you will be "his woman" than there isn't much else you can do. When surprise visits are felt to be neccessary, you aren't dealing with a friend or lover, you are dealing with a supervisory figure and no relationship should be like that.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Default Re:Completely Embarrassed!


    We are not allowed to have boyfriends come into our club. I think that is a very cool rule as well. Less stress on ALL parties.
    I feel for you, but like evryone else has said........REDFLAG....tell him to hit it.
    Time makes all bad feelings go away. Dont sweat it !

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