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Thread: boyfriend problem..

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sasha04's Avatar
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    Default boyfriend problem..

    I thought I would get advice from the other board members with this concern I have with my boyfriend. For those of you who've read my last thread know already that he doesn't like me stripping. After thinking this over I've decided that I want to continue doing this and at the same club for now until I find another one. I already have an idea of how he'll react to this. The first thing he's going to say is, "I thought you weren't going to be doing this anymore. So you basically lied to me." I was going to tell him, "No, it wasn't my intention to lie to you but I don't know how long it's going to be before I find another job and I really need this money because I was going through all the payments I have to make and with me wanting to move out I need to keep on working so I can do this." He thinks it's okay if I wait another year to move out but I will tell him that I really need to be on my own. I'm also thinking of when to break this to him. I'm leaving for AZ in a couple of hours and I won't be home until next week. After next week I was going to go back to the club so I could have the chance to tell my boyfriend in person what my plans were. When the manager called me the following night my boyfriend listenned to the message and said well you can go back there if you want. He didn't say it in a friendly way.. Then I'll have to deal with him continually asking me if I do drugs again. There's alot of that going on in the club and he's concerned about me getting caught up in it.
    I also didn't mention that he wants me to let all the customers know that I have a boyfriend!

  2. #2
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    I hope you see why nobody has answered this thread.

    wake up and smell the coffee.

  3. #3
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Well then...you have decided. Your current profession over him. Don't be afraid to stand up and say, "This is my choice. Period." You seem to spend a lot of time trying to "time" things and "rationalize" for him. He's not going to be okay with it regardless, so you might as well bite the bullet and let it all go wherever it goes.

    good luck

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasha04 link=board=27;threadid=10383;start=msg126740#msg12 6740 date=1087972287
    I was going through all the payments I have to make and with me wanting to move out I need to keep on working so I can do this." He thinks it's okay if I wait another year to move out but I will tell him that I really need to be on my own.
    There's the missing link... the hidden rub... the reason for it all. It all fits together now with the other thread.

    It's not so much the customer's hand on your leg that set him off... he was looking for something.. anything to blow up over and did his absolute best to try and get you fired.

    Your dancing is threatening his control over you and his grip. If you can't see that, then yes, you are being stupid.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  5. #5
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Jesus H. Christ, woman, can you not read the writing on the wall?

    Cut your losses and leave.

    Now.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  6. #6
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    I know its not easy....but i agree with most of the responses here.

    Its never easy to walk away from something like that. But you either need to make your point to him and explain what YOU WANT....and dont settle for anything less. If he agrees, let him know there is no more room for error...if he ever messes up or bothers you about it again...he's done. If he doesnt agree...then be out

    Good luck

  7. #7
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Why do you feel the need to get advice on this? You are with a man who is domineering and controlling. Is this really what you want? Obviously it is not, but you are letting him control you all the same. A year to move out? Are you absolutely insane? Leave now!! Find a roomie friend and leave. The longer you stay, the deeper you are. You thought the last drama with him was bad...wait until the next one. Nip it in the bud, leave and don't look back.

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    Veteran Member DestinyDevine's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    time for destiny's 2 cents lol, if you love this guy and you are serious about your relationship with him then your definetley going to have to make some sacrifices, my girlfriend went throught this ordeal and when it came down to it she decided her job was more important to her, that she didnt want to feel controlled and possesed by him no matter how much she thought she loved him, after leaving him she was much happier and could finally do her for once, so my advice is sit down in a quiet room and think real hard if you love him and we want to stay with someone who is obviously possesive and controlling with your career choice than your going to have to scrafice your job, if you want to work and you love the job then its time to let him go, if its meant to be he will come back and if not there are plenty of fish in the sea and im sure your a beautiful girl who wont have problems finding someone else more understanding of your needs, good luck hun if you need to talk more pm me..
    So you buried all your lover's clothes and burned the letters lover wrote, but it doesn't make it any better. Does it make it any better?
    And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will fade. -Dashboard Confessional

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Let him go!!! He is controlling and insecure...it doesn't get any better.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Pisces3x3's Avatar
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    Lose him! You might thank yourself in the long run. This guy may NOT be THE ONE. If you two are both serious about the relationship then you BOTH need to comprimse... not just you.
    You think you know... but you have no idea!

  11. #11
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    Default Re:boyfriend problem..

    You haven't found your soulmate. you already are planning on leaving, so hit the road and don't look back.

    Don't date any more guys who have a stripper hangup.

    The ball is in your court. You have no problem. Just hit the road. If the lease is in your name have him hit the road.

    Problem solved!

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