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Thread: poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

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    Default poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

    i recently had a bunch of poems published on literotica.com and after i got home tonight i found out they did a review from some of my selections. so, i am sharing the review with all of you. what they have done is used excerpts from the poems.

    Registered: Mar 2002
    Location: Nest
    Posts: 5433
    Friday, June 25, 2004

    Wel it’s deja vu all over again--I did new poem reviews here on Fridays for over a year. So as Liar heads off into the delights of midsummer here I go again--

    dcpoet44 offers up an overflowing fistful of poems today--six of them. I suggest you read them all because taken together they form a heartfelt treatise on love lost and survived. I did though have a few favorites:

    Let the Critics Follow is a roadmap to reading dc’s poetry. It’s clear and well-stated, and toward the end becomes almost prayerlike, reminding me here of the 23rd Psalm.

    My pen is my bodyguard.
    It always protects me
    Even though
    My shield is down,
    It makes me tough as hell
    When the line is set on fire
    As a fiery lead on
    For the critics to follow
    When reaching the end
    As I explode off the page.

    When You Need Someone takes the reader through a maelstrom of emotions, from pain to the flowering of trust reborn.

    But the love
    You leave behind
    Shatters into pieces
    As if a window blown
    In by a storm
    Leaving you empty and cold.
    You pound your fists
    Upon the pillow
    Saying never again.
    Then a knock comes upon your door-
    You want to say go away
    But the pain lifts you up
    Until you fall into the arms of a friend

    Your Eyes is a lovely appeal from poet to readers, asking us to feel with him and, in doing so, help him escape the pain. I think this one was my favorite of his submissions today.

    i open myself
    to you in ways
    that will give the best effect
    when your thumbs rest
    on the beats of my heart.
    **************

    if any of you would like to see the full poems.....please let me know and i'd be glad to post them here.

    here is the new poem that i wrote in regards to a dancer.....

    index : Non-Erotic Poetry :

    A Poem For A Dancer
    by dcpoet44 ©

    I cannot forget the first time
    We hung out together
    Outside of the club
    When we had lunch at Ponderosa
    In the early evening.
    The outside cover of you ever so appealing
    Left me feeling I could conquer the world
    Just be being around you.
    During conversation I wanted to know if
    There were any coffee shops
    That might have poetry readings.
    You told me about two,
    And I liked the one
    Called the Coffee Bean.
    After we finished eating,
    I followed you and your boyfriend
    To where the café was located.
    We went inside, the room shaped
    Like a rectangle,
    And on the outside
    Of the building was a banner
    That said, open mic Friday nights 8-10 PM.
    I ordered a café latte
    And asked about the open mic
    And if that was for poetry readings.
    And was told as to when they were held.
    I was excited about the prospect
    Of reading my poetry
    In front of my friends and others.
    After sitting down we talked
    About when all of us would meet here
    To hear me read.
    We left that night,
    And the following week
    I read in front of a small crowd.
    It all comes down to this:
    A mutual appreciation for the arts
    This piece is all about respect
    For a dancer in Fredonia NY
    That is intellectually beautiful.
    Look deep inside the cover
    The next time you go to a strip club,
    Because if you don’t,
    You’ll lose out on what used to be before your eyes.
    *****************
    hope the piece is appreciated by the ladies......feedback is welcome on the piece.......don

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    Default Re:poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

    That's really good.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re:poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

    Well, coming from someone who actually writes Poetry for reasons other than hitting on women...

    The stuff you have posted here isn't very good, as it seems forced (If you want me to explain i will). I wouldn't really take any publication that printed any of THAT seriously. If you have other work i'll gladly look at it.

    The stuff you have written and posted here is to sway the ladies, dcpoet, don't think I haven't noticed.

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    Default Re:poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

    My money where my mouth is...

    I'll post one that i actually wrote about a dancer, on a couple of coctail napkins with a borrowed pen that i got from a bartender (who no doubt was convinced that i was up to writing digits rather than verse).

    The reason why it's good, the reason why I like it, is that it's less about the dancer and more about a moment...




    (well, anyone who wanted to read it probably has)

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    Default Re:poetry review of my work, and another dancer poem

    All~

    dcpoet sent me some other work of his that didn't seem as forced. It was much better. He should post that.

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