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Thread: I need help on this!

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    Default I need help on this!

    I go to my first strip club ever with my friends. It was ok i am now 25 so im not horny anymore which to me is weird. I say to myself i have no girlfriend and what would happen if i actually talked to a stripper to get to know her?

    But then i said to myself if i talked to one she probably would think i only want a lap dance and am interested in sex and that im a creep.

    Anyways the point is im sitting with my friend and this stripper comes up to us she never mentions lap or coach dances to us. We just have a nice conversation i start liking her because i find her interesting. I really didnt care about the fact that i saw her naked. In fact after 5 minutes i was bored of the strip club. Dont get me wrong i like girls but i rather see them dressed up hot than naked most of the time.

    Ok so this girl tells me she is married which made me feel sad. Anyways, when she leaves me and my friend without asking for money or anything im like everytime i talk to a girl it seems lately that she always has a boyfriend or a man. Then she says im sure you will find someone.

    This is were it gets interesting after feeling sad and hestitating i go up to her to talk to her again. She was always at the bar so i didnt see her trying to get a lot of lap dances. So we talked for a long time, again i thought she was not only smart but really easy to talk to.

    When i asked her again do you really have a husband, she said yeah i have a boyfriend then she corrected herself and said husband. Then i said hows your relationship with him? She said i was lucky that it turned out to be a good thing. Though it seemed like she wasnt too convinced when she said it.

    Then in my conversation with her she told me she had a brother that played drums. I told her im looking to jam with people cause im interested in getting together a band. Then she said gimme your email.

    I was going to give to her but i didnt have anything to write on. She went and got a napkin and wrote her email on it not her brother's! She also mentioned what do you do for fun on weekends? Then i said what do you want to hang out? She said yes!


    My point is she never offered me a lap or coach dance, didnt touch me or anything, said she doesnt talk to much people cause she is scared of most guys cause they look like sleazes in a strip club and that i was a nice guy. on THE NAPkin she wrote great meeting you. So i would like to know if she is jsut trying to be nice or if she really means it?


    I think strippers arent allowed to give personal information unless they want to. im sorry if i offended anyone with this post since i know she is married. By no means do i have any bad intentions with her i just would like to hang out with her as a friend because she is married.


    I have no idea what to do because im very confused.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    forgot to mention that if she would have not came up and talked ot me and my friend i wouldsnt have talked to her.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    What to do? Throw the napkin away and forget about it. I've read posts on here from people in happy, long-term relationships that met in a strip club. Those are the extreme minority. Girls in good relationships with a boyfriend/husband don't give out their e-mail addresses so they can hang out with guys they've just met at the club.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Ok so this girl tells me she is married which made me feel sad.
    What Destiny said.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    My advice is throw the napkin away. Really I mean no offense to any of the ladies here but as a customer you have to don your stripclub-alternate-reality armor before entering the club. Definitely go the SC and have a great time, but anything and everything you are told in a SC is suspect (i.e., assume you are being hustled). Leave what happens at the SC at the SC.

    There may be times when what you are told in a SC is the truth, or something like the truth, but you will never be able to sort out what is and isn't reality. In this case just because she gave you her email address doesn't mean your not being hustled.

    Don't make yourself nuts trying to figure out her motivation. Pursue women outside of the SC (and preferrably ones that don't alreay have SOs).



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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    I concur with the other members.You are setting yourself up for a heart break.She is probably unhappy for now in her marriage and is looking for something temporary to spice up her life.Remember back in school how they taught you how to spot a false statement,if any part of the sentence is false,then the whole sentence is false?If you have any well founded reservations about ANYTHING you are interested in,then the best policy is to not get involved at all.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Jay - Better to get a hobby that women taken an interest in as well (like outdoor sports or hiking) or take some classes and meet girls that way. The stripclub IS for when you're feeling horny, and that's about it.
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Jay...the above posters pretty well summed it up. There are lots of things you can find at strip clubs but romance isnt likely one of them.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Egads! I can't believe I'm reading such prejudice, stereotying and pessimism over here....

    I have to go against the grain and say- by all means, email her and hook up with her brother and possibly her and her bf (if he even exists).

    If you're able to keep a couple things in mind:
    1) She's off limits sexually (i.e. taken)
    2) You will not try to put her "in limits" sexually, as hard as that might be.
    3) You're not reading too much into her yielding her email (i.e. you're not assuming she's interested in you for more than just a friend).
    4) Any of this "hanging out" she's described will possibly include her boyfriend/hubby, and you're cool with that.

    ... then things could be just fine. To instantly assume "romance" is indeed a wrong assumption, but somehow I don't see it as such.

    When we strip away the ego, drama, prejudice, and assumptions- all we're left with is ourselves. That basic person can be good, warm and something of value in other people's lives, and they the same in return. Some of my closer, more impactful friends have been made through identical scenarios as described here. Having a cellphone memory full of numbers to call at 2am for breakfast somewhere after work in no way sucks.. not to mention knowing women or couples who are cool to hang out with, party with and do things with. In this case, she's even got a brother that might want to do some music exploration with you, so it's win-win.

    Every person I run into I automatically assume could be a future longterm pal/friend. If wedding bells are ringing from casual meetings, then something is wrong in your life but that's a bigger issue outside the scope of this. I say don't take a possible future friend/couple for granted and expand your horizons. Networking in your local region leads to so many more opportunities, good people, and a more fulfilling social life. This is a prime example if you keep things real.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    After reading the replies i liked to say thanx for taking your time in helping me out. Its funny because alot of what you people told me i knew could happen. I agree with polecats reply the most because that is what i was thinking about. I mean that if i want to hang out with her well i have to accept that she is taken.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Polecat's response is sensible if it involves someone who is thinking and behaving rationally. To be blunt, you are not. Go back to your statement about feeling "sad" that she was taken. Without even knowing someone you have instantaneously exhibited an emotion that indicates you are not in a healthy emotional sense of being at this time.

    You see those four things Polecat listed that you need to remember? You are going to fool yourself into thinking that you can do it.....and then things will take a wrong turn...and your "sad" feelings are going to pale in comparison.

    I wish the best of luck to you...you're going to need it.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Except for Polecat, I think you're all making much to big of a deal of this. If you enjoyed the girl's company, send her an email and see if she wants to get to know you. So what if you get hurt, that's part of life. The only way you can never get hurt is to never get involved. I've been hurt many times, and without exception knowing how each one ended I 'd still do it again. Good luck, I hope she turns out to be a good friend.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    so.....like......how......do.....i.....get......to .....meet.....girls....outsdie.....the......club.. ....?

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny link=board=8;threadid=10475;start=msg128567#msg128 567 date=1088263105
    What to do? Throw the napkin away and forget about it. I've read posts on here from people in happy, long-term relationships that met in a strip club. Those are the extreme minority. Girls in good relationships with a boyfriend/husband don't give out their e-mail addresses so they can hang out with guys they've just met at the club.
    Well said.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    I don't know about you guys,but I don't go for sloppy seconds.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  16. #16
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    So what if you get hurt, that's part of life.
    There is taking a typical risk, and then there's playing in traffic on a racetrack. Jay's stepping onto a racetrack. The situation that he described is not a healthy state of mind to begin with. He is compounding it with extreme risk factors.

    It's all moot....he had made up his mind before he ever finished the original post.

    And it's true...we all do it, whether to ourselves, or our children. Sometimes you have to screw up at something to learn how to do it. As much as I would always like to step in and simply "show" my son how to complete a task, it doesn't really teach him anything.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Sigh.. Oh come on. All this sloppy seconds talk and racetrack nonsense is making me misty.

    Which of all these points (or all) did you completely gloss over?
    >>" I go to my first strip club ever"

    >>"im not horny anymore which to me is weird"

    >>"after 5 minutes i was bored of the strip club."

    >>"i like girls but i rather see them dressed up hot than naked"

    >>"im like everytime i talk to a girl it seems lately that she always has a boyfriend or a man. Then she says im sure you will find someone."

    >>"She also mentioned what do you do for fun on weekends? Then i said what do you want to hang out? She said yes!"

    >>" i just would like to hang out with her as a friend because she is married."


    You guys are instantly painting this guy a hornball, raging bucket of hormones, pussy chasing mother fucker when the whole post is polluted with evidence of the exact opposite.

    The way I read the post (by actually reading the entire thing and not making assumptions on "Joe Generic Customer meets Jane Generic Stripper") is he wants to know if she somehow felt obligated to scribble her email on a piece of paper to be "nice" in a customer service kind of way, or if she did it out of just natural inspiration to do so.

    Shooting an email to the address to thank her for the nice conversation while his dorkball friends were slobbering over bouncing tits, while also mentioning interest in hooking up with her brother isn't some code for "I want a wild wife-swapping orgy, threesome thing" guys. Sheesh.

    One of the most rewarding things in life is having a wide and far reaching network of friends in different circles. I'm a bit perplexed why this particular scenario, as clear as it's been described, falls outside those lines.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Polecat: You left one quote out:

    "Ok so this girl tells me she is married which made me feel sad."

    Now, why would he feel sad that she was married if all he wanted to do was, "hang out" with her? To me, it seems obvious he is hoping for something more.

    StripperTips got it right, life's full of risks, and finding love is one of the riskiest things in life. But the odds of wandering into a strip club and finding the love of your life are pretty small. Does it happen? I'm sure it does occaionally, but you're odds of getting your heart broken are much higher than finding true love.

    If you're looking for a fun time with some girls, go to a strip club. But if you're looking for a girlfriend, go to the supermarket, the library, the park, anywhere but a strip club.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    "It is humiliating, when you should know better, to become the victim of the timeless story of the little brown dog running across the freight yard, crossing all the railroad tracks until a switch engine nipped off the end of his tail between wheel and rail. The little dog yelped, and he spun so quickly to check himself out that the next wheel chopped through his little brown neck. The moral is, of course, never lose your head over a iece of tail." -- from "The Scarlet Ruse" by John D. MacDonald.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    First of all, she probably gave you HER email because she doesn't know her brothers' off the top of her head. Second, if you were so "sad" that she said she was married, I doubt you just want to hang out cuz she's cool. Third, if she's married, she probably doesn't even want to hang out with you, but just said that to be nice (we strippers do that sometimes). Fourth, I don't care if you don't like seeing girls naked; your post came across as really freaky dude! I think you need to find yourself a girlfriend. WHOSE NOT MARRIED!


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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny link=board=8;threadid=10475;start=msg130192#msg130 192 date=1088517007
    Polecat: You left one quote out:

    "Ok so this girl tells me she is married which made me feel sad."

    Now, why would he feel sad that she was married if all he wanted to do was, "hang out" with her? To me, it seems obvious he is hoping for something more.

    StripperTips got it right, life's full of risks, and finding love is one of the riskiest things in life. But the odds of wandering into a strip club and finding the love of your life are pretty small. Does it happen? I'm sure it does occaionally, but you're odds of getting your heart broken are much higher than finding true love.

    If you're looking for a fun time with some girls, go to a strip club. But if you're looking for a girlfriend, go to the supermarket, the library, the park, anywhere but a strip club.
    It is not normal for a single, unattatched male to want to hang out with a married woman, even if there might be trouble in Married-Land. The fact that she is married period would end any thought in a rational mind. There may be regrets "Gosh, she would be so cool to hang out with", but it would remain a hypothetical scenario.

    Does anyone REALLY think that a married woman with a troubled relationship would hang out with a single male ONLY for platonic companionship? They might feel that can work at first, but we all know that human frailities coupled with hormonal desires are a bad bad mix.

    He should respect her being married and try not to insert himself in her life because of that. She should (assuming her marriage is troubled) either work hard to work out the problems in the marriage or get out of it if that's not feasable.

    There are inherent boundries in this situation that will only be crossed by either party because of irrational thinking and rampant self-interest.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Quote Originally Posted by StripperTips link=board=8;threadid=10475;start=msg130158#msg130 158 date=1088510372
    It's all moot....he had made up his mind before he ever finished the original post.
    i think that's the smartest thing anyone's said...this dude's already made up his mind. the only advice he'll take is advice that tells him to do/think what he would already do/think on his own. he'll have to learn for himself.

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    he'll have to learn for himself.
    Ain&#039;t gonna happen. If he was smart enough to understand what a dolt he is being, he would have already figured it out. <shrug>
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=8;threadid=10475;start=msg130171#msg130 171 date=1088512725
    One of the most rewarding things in life is having a wide and far reaching network of friends in different circles. I&#039;m a bit perplexed why this particular scenario, as clear as it&#039;s been described, falls outside those lines.
    We have a few threads floating around where the guy is obviousoly getting preferential treatment and real value for his money in a club. And everyone thinks the dancer is playing him.

    I don&#039;t think this girl is married or even has much of a BF. Maybe she&#039;s just shy and lonely. A guy can sense that and feel some sadness. Maybe her BF rides dirt bikes with his buds all day Saturday, and she just wants to feel close to someone.

    Going with the flow doesn&#039;t cost much. Four good flirts a month feels better than the average relationship.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need help on this!

    A guy can sense that
    I stopped reading here. We can&#039;t sense shit.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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