(Hello everyone, just found this site and this is my first post)
I agree with what StripperTips has said, in that buying drinks is not always a trap and can simply be a kind gesture.
Personally, I'm fairly conservative in who I get dances from but fairly liberal with who I'll buy drinks for. (btw: by drink, I mean anything from water to whatever.)
Here are the scenarios where I'll offer to buy a drink:
1) I'm there to visit a favorite dancer; always willing to buy a drink.
2) Sometimes my favorite dancer will either be on stage or busy somewhere else and one of her friends will be keeping me company. The friend knows I'm not going to be buying a dance from her, but I appreciate her time so I'll offer to buy her a drink.
3) (Now here's the situation this thread seems to be based on.) I've found most dancers use the "wanna dance" approach. They come by, ask the question, I'll politely decline, and they leave - no problem. Other dancers will come over and sit down. They'll start some kind of conversation, meanwhile the clock is likely ticking in both our heads. Usually I try to beat her to the punch, and after about five minutes I'll say something like, "Thanks for the conversation. I think I'm all set for as far as dances go, but I'd be happy to buy you a drink." To me, this is not to trap her into additional conversation, but as a thankful gesture for the time she's already spent. She can accept or decline. Even if she accepts, I'll usually let her know that I understand she's there working, and if she'd like to take the drink with her it would be fine.
In my experience, even if a dancer declines the offer for a drink, she'll leave my table with a better attitude than if she spent 5 to 10 minutes with me, asked for a dance and I just said "no thanks" and left it at that.
Some people may ask why I don't just say I'm not interested in a dance when the dancer sits down in the first place. Again, in my experience, I've found this to me too confrontational. I mean we both know why she's come over to talk to me, but many dancers will pull an "I'm insulted you think I just came over to hustle you" attitude if you cut her off before she has a chance to start hustling you.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on how I work drinks as a customer.
(BTW - Any dancer who comes over and spends a little time with me, I'll usually make sure to tip her something when she's on stage. It's just my way of adding positive reinforcement for NOT using the drive by "wanna dance" approach.)
Bookmarks