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Thread: Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

  1. #1
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    DYSFUNCTIONAL HALLMARK CARDS


    1. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now
    that you've come into my life...
    (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

    2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
    (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

    3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
    (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
    (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need
    it again.

    5. Someday I hope to marry...
    (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

    6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
    (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

    7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
    (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your
    promise.

    8. We've been friends for a very long time...
    (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

    9. I'm so miserable without you...
    (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

    10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
    (Inside card) - Did you ever figure out who the father was?

    11. You're such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was
    only one life jacket...
    (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

    12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
    (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

    13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, West Virginia,
    Mississippi, and Arkansas)

    14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help
    but wonder...
    (Inside card) - What was I thinking?

    15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
    (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

  2. #2
    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    Thanx, Rhi!! I needed a good laugh!



    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    Anytime, Dahling...

    *muah*

  4. #4
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    Well, with an X-wife&#039;s birthday coming up...

    a few of those look like they just might work!
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  5. #5
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    LOL Rhiannon, those are great! Thanks for sharing!






  6. #6
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    It was just my ex&#039;s birthday...where were these cards when i needed them...

    3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
    (Inside card) - That you&#039;re not here to ruin it for me.

    9. I&#039;m so miserable without you...
    (Inside card) - It&#039;s almost like you&#039;re still here.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Pisces3x3's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    Og my godly bananas those were GREAT! Thanks Rhi! Its too bad you cant actually buy them cause I know of a few people who deserve them LOL.
    You think you know... but you have no idea!

  8. #8
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, West Virginia,
    Mississippi, and Arkansas)


    ROTFLMAO...

  9. #9
    Featured Member SCGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    I need 7, 9 and 14 for my ex!! F-in&#039; a-hole!!!!

    Thanks for sharing hon! VERY funny (and not to mention useful!)
    "You did then what you knew how to do; when you knew better, you did better" ~Maya Angelou

  10. #10
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    ROFLMAO

  11. #11
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    Default Re:Dysfunctional Hallmark Cards

    LOL

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