I was bitten by a stray rabid dog. My Neighbor, came over to see how I was and found Me writing frantically on a piece of paper.
The Neighbor told me, rabies could be cured and I didn't have to worry about a Will. I said, "Will?
What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."
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One day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did so, slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He did.
"Now take off my skirt."
He did.
"Now take off my bra."
Again with trembling hands he did as he was told.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
He slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said....
"If you ever wear my clothes to town again, I'll fire you on the spot."
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Subject: Horse for Sale
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks. "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment".
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth."
So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"
So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?"
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?"
The rancher is gettin' pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"
Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him! under his arms and rams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit"?




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