Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 44

Thread: She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Hi, new to this side of the forums ( I thought it'd be better to just go to the source, per se) ... and off we go:

    So like everyone has said ... I'd find a new ATF sooner or later. But this one is using a technique that I've never seen before. Her approach is that of sincerity. Is that possible inside a stripclub? I think I've had enough dances with the ladies to seperate her intentions/motivations from the pack, but in the back of my mind ... I just think that she's read me and figured out how to approach me as a customer. The only thing that throws this out of the question is the fact that her approach started when I only got a couple dances from her (barely spending any money) and way before I started getting lots of dances from other girls (she never saw me buying many dances as her shift is different from the girls I used to get dances from). Maybe it was the slow tortoise approach, but everytime I see her, I get more and more attracted to her.

    She drops by my table and pulls up a seat to chat when the club is dead, when she's done the rounds and no one has said yes to her for dances ... even drops by when it's really busy. When she says she'll be right back, she's right back in minutes unlike the usual "I'll be right back" routine that I've gotten from many of the others (who just sit in the dressing room/or sit down in a chair all by themselves). She's told me that she really doesn't chat with guys she's danced with and I believe that. It was months before I even accepted dances from her ... I knew she was beautiful, but never approached her. During that time, I'd see her with customers, but always alone when things weren't as busy.

    Not only is she utterly beautiful, but she's charming and very sweet. She's different ... she's tried talking me out of buying dances, she's told me I really didn't need to tip her at all with our dances and that we can just chat when I'm at the club (we've probaby spoken more at length than the actual dances). I have never seen this kind of behavior before and it's just overwhelming. It took awhile, but she's really grown on me.

    I know that she's there to work, and I've been a good guy in not asking one of the most hated questions ... but she just makes me want to ask her if we can get a lunch sometime to get to know her more so she doesn't use her time on me when she can get dances from other guys. It hurts to hold that back, but I know that it's just her job ...

    the curse of an RIL.

    Is what I am interpreting as sincerity real? What would you think? Should I just keep my mouth shut and enjoy it for what it's worth?

  2. #2
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by junkieSCJ link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg132986#msg132 986 date=1088938330
    Is what I am interpreting as sincerity real? What would you think? Should I just keep my mouth shut and enjoy it for what it's worth?
    If you have to ask this question the answer is: yes, keep your mouth shut and enjoy it for what it is. If she wanted you that way, you wouldn't even have to ask this question, you'd know the answer already.

  3. #3
    Guest

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Well, I'll have to disagree with Madcap's statement. I'm dumb as a brick and have missed many opportunities because of it.

    Typically I would suggest assuming she's just doing her job. But this does not sound like the typical approach. She is either an excellent artist, or she is sincere.

    If you're going to approach it, do it with care. I would recommend saying something to the effect of, "I don't want to screw up a good thing here, so if I am off my rocker, tell me and we'll forget I ever asked - but I feel like I'm getting vibes and would like to know if that is accurate, and if you're interested in having a cup of coffee some time?"

    It will show that you're not being presumptuous and provides her with all the comfy outs she may need.


  4. #4
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    I had a similar situation many years ago and I kept asking myself is she hustling me or is she for real. And then it dawned on me, what difference does it make? The only relavent question to ask is, am I getting my money's worth? If the answer is yes, who cares what her real motivations are, chances are she doesn't even fully understand them herself. I suggest you try something that has worked for me: be with her when her shift ends and when you're both getting ready to leave ask if you can meet somewhere and buy her something to eat. That way you each have your own car and it's very non-threatening. Incidently, my situation occurred over 7 years ago and we're still close friends. If she treats you like a friend, do the same for her. Wouldn't a friend offer to buy her a bite after work?
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  5. #5
    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    lalala land
    Posts
    1,073
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    It can happen that she likes you.

    and it does happen......I have a similar event happen.....There are still good people in the world!!!! Don't forget that!!!! and just because she's a dancer does not mean she is not sincere!!



  6. #6
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    I have a life rule that's useful for situations like this. Whenever I'm faced with an unanswerable question, I assume the answer that I find most pleasing and act accordingly. If I were you I'd assume that she's sincere.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  7. #7
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133322#msg133 322 date=1089037616
    I have a life rule that's useful for situations like this. Whenever I'm faced with an unanswerable question, I assume the answer that I find most pleasing and act accordingly. If I were you I'd assume that she's sincere.
    That's a recipe for disaster, dude.

  8. #8
    Guest

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Whenever I'm faced with an unanswerable question, I assume the answer that I find most pleasing and act accordingly.
    Being the pessimist, I assume the worst in most situations. That way, even a D has a positive spin. I don't recommend it...but it works for me.

  9. #9
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Well.I'm sure you have gotten your heart broken before so this won't be someting new.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  10. #10
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    250
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Why do customers always feel the need to ruin a perfectly good situation by asking us out?

    If she wants to see you somewhere else, she will ask. Two and a half years ago, I felt something real for a customer, and I asked. We are still together. If his approach had been more aggressive than giving me his number, and letting me know I can call anytime, I would have thrown the card out before I made it to the dressing room - like I do to all the rest of them.

    And if any guy ever waited around until closing and wasn't gone by the time I was ready to go (unless I had asked him to stay and wait for me) I would be creaped out beyond belief and never consider going anywhere with him ever. A man waiting in a closed bar at 3am is not romantic, its borderline obsessive.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  11. #11
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    406
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    I think you are going to drive your self nuts trying to figure out her motivation. She might be sincere, she might even like you in a way, but take what brooke said to heart... sincere or no, it doesn't follow that she wants to date you outside the club.

    I don't want to burst any bubbles bro, but if we aren't honest with ourselves ....

    Here is my best advice... next time you see her put on the blinders and imagine her as an average looking woman. Take the lust out of the equation... is there anything really there between you two or has it all just been small boring chit-chat? If there something really there then go with that and suggest doing something together you have in common, but if not, if it has just been pleasant, but otherwise unexceptional chat, well then your just in lust and it is almost a given that she doesn't want to date you (unless maybe you are wealthy, famous, or exceptionally good looking these can make up somewhat for the lack of emotional sparks)


  12. #12
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Brooke, I only go to clubs during the day so I'm talking maybe 8 pm, not 3 am. And I'd ask before she went to change. I've done it several times and it's always worked out OK.

    Madcap and Strippertips, thoughts have power. If you assume something, good or bad, and act accordingly, it often turns out to be true. Even if it isn't, it's a lot more fun to be an optimist than a pessimist. I've been doing this for years and it really works. And it's rarely caused a problem and never a major one. Try it, you'll be amazed at the results.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Darren: Yes, if she were an "average looking woman", I still would want her in my life. (read on)

    Brooke: She's asked me to stay sometimes (but only if I wanted to) or to make sure I say bye before leaving.

    Anyway, here is my reply (posted from the blue side).

    Thanks for the replies everyone. When we had first started conversing, she had mentioned that she was in a relationship. This is one of the first things she brought up to me because she didn't want to create any false hope. At that time, my mentality was that it didn't matter ... I was in a stripclub and all emotions felt inside were to just be kept at the club and not taken home (the reason I didn't even bother to think about a guy in her life). As I got to know her, that changed. It was my fault in thinking that there was something there as our conversations continued ... she sounded as if she was alone, single.

    It dawned on me that ... well I was being a fool in thinking that, so I just asked her about her boyfriend and we talked about him a little bit. Maybe it was because she and her boyfriend barely have time for each other since their schedules were different or the fact that they really don't talk much about what she does as long as she comes home to him. This is why sometimes she sounds like she sounds alone ... because well, some things they just don't discuss. Sure I'm also there to relax with, but I'm that other ear for her.

    She noticed the sadness in me and felt really really awful about it. She asked if there was anything she could do about it which was really sweet. She joked about the fact that she shouldn't have started talking to me, that she should've just given me the dances and kept quiet like she does every other guy that asks her for a dance. The look in her eyes when she was trying to help me figure out what I should do. She's the real deal, this girl is genuine.

    As for what mr_punk asked, what would have I wanted if things had escalated? Well actually, sure I know that intimacy was a factor in all this considering the locale ... but I really just wanted her to be a friend, someone in my life that I could be around. She's got a good heart and it's tough to find that (ANYWHERE) ... when I do, I try to include them in my life. As corny as that sounds, I would like her to be one of those people, boyfriend or not. Doubt that an outside friendship will ever come out of this once I stepped into the club and got a dance with her.

    I'll just take it for what it's worth ... that I was lucky to have met someone like her. She's made me a believer that I can find goodness anywhere.
    *You can point and laugh at me now ...

    I'm going to take a little break from all of this, I do want to see her again ... I just don't know when it will be. For so long, I have kept my emotions out of it, telling myself that it was all a fantasy. With her, it just wasn't ... it was just two people getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company even when there were no dances involved.

    Thanks again for all your replies.

  14. #14
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133768#msg133 768 date=1089118673
    Why do customers always feel the need to ruin a perfectly good situation by asking us out?
    Yep yep... A customer should never ask out a dancer, it's against the code. lol.

    Like you stated, open-ended invitations or offers are the best, no pressure, non-aggressive thang and if there is anything there, she'll follow up eventually. A cell number is good, or knowledge of where you'll be in places of similar interest are even better. (i.e. "I'm going to the Art & Wine festival next week! Can't wait!" or "The street faire is this weekend. It's always a fun thing." etc.etc.) You'd be surprised how many just show-up out of the blue if they know what you're up to and there is any interest. These aren't asking them out- just sharing plans/events and leaves an open door with zero expectations.


    Two and a half years ago, I felt something real for a customer, and I asked. We are still together. If his approach had been more aggressive than giving me his number, and letting me know I can call anytime, I would have thrown the card out before I made it to the dressing room - like I do to all the rest of them.
    You need to tell the whole story instead of leave a glimmer of hope for poor old JunkieSCJ here, which he'll lean on for next upcoming decade and screw up his personal life chasing something that isn't there because of it.

    How about all the other non-aggressive "Give me a call anytime" guys that you DID throw their cell number out anyways? Unaggressive doormats handing out non-committal cell numbers in stripclubs are not uncommon or a new thing. There was something special about that one guy and I'm betting it wasnt just the lack of aggressiveness. I'm also betting you wanted him to give you his number prior, unlike 'all the others'...

    Unless Junkie is leaving some things out, this woman hasn't reciprocated the fondness in any visible way. And no, I'm not talking sex, going out, lunch, nada.. just simple, human, warm, expressive methods of 'friendship'.. He's dragging his ass to the club, paying to get in, paying for drinks, paying her, and she gives him the emotional tampon treatment (which is likely what she senses he needs) and off he goes thinking he's in her top 10 list of people.

    Junkie- pretend she doesn't really have a boyfriend, she's gone home and slept with 2-3 guys in the time she's known you and all you're seeing is what she senses you need. If this doesn't change anything, then by all means- knock yourself out and have fun. It's your cash to spend freely how you see fit and hey, some guys like this sort of thing. This is what happens when you start using a stripclub as a social arena versus a place to buy dances and have entertainment. You sound like a really nice, warm, giving guy and you can't tell me this thing with this "drive to my club, come see me, pay to get in, pay me, and then leave with no return" thing isn't curbing your outside affairs. It's unfair to you, and the fact it's mutually understood by both parties, yet one doesn't feel the need to offset in any way speaks volumes.

    It's not pessimistic to demand the minimal amount of human reciprocation to deem something a reality, which this case illustrates zero. Again, not talking what many may assume (sex, out of the club, etc.etc.)- it's the same thing I'd expect from my regular male mechanic buddies or other friends (male and female) in my life.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  15. #15
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133933#msg133 933 date=1089146868
    Unless Junkie is leaving some things out, this woman hasn't reciprocated the fondness in any visible way. And no, I'm not talking sex, going out, lunch, nada.. just simple, human, warm, expressive methods of 'friendship'..
    That is exactly what i meant in my first post on this thread. Junkie would never have needed to even ask this question, he'd have already known the answer.

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133797#msg133 797 date=1089125941
    Madcap and Strippertips, thoughts have power. If you assume something, good or bad, and act accordingly, it often turns out to be true. Even if it isn't, it's a lot more fun to be an optimist than a pessimist.
    I never said I was a pessemist, but when faced with the unanswerable i say "I don't know" and leave it at that. I have zero interest in getting hung up on a Dancer that 'may or may not' like me as more than a customer. In that case, forget it, i'll just stick with what i know is true, that i have fun with this chick the way things are.

    As it is with any woman, even if a Dancer doesn't like you that way doesn't mean she doesn't like you.


    EDITED TO ADD: Actually, i think this problem can be answered by using a basic scientific principal called Occam's Razor. Originally propounded by the English philospher, William of Occam, as: Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. Which is translated: Entities should not be multiplied more than necessary. In other words, the simplest explanation is the one that is most likely to be correct, or KISS (keep it simple, stupid!).

    Don't make unnecessarily complicated assumptions.

  16. #16
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    250
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133933#msg133 933 date=1089146868




    How about all the other non-aggressive "Give me a call anytime" guys that you DID throw their cell number out anyways? Unaggressive doormats handing out non-committal cell numbers in stripclubs are not uncommon or a new thing. There was something special about that one guy and I'm betting it wasnt just the lack of aggressiveness. I'm also betting you wanted him to give you his number prior, unlike 'all the others'...

    Please excuse the confusion, as we were saying the same thing. I didn't intend to give anyone hope! I live in this world and I tend to know how the story goes. All I meant was what you said - not that I like him because he was more passive about it, but that I liked him and because he was not aggressive, I gave him a call. Everything else equal, and I am interested in him - if he is agressive about seeing me outside of the club, I don't even consider it.

    When a guy tries to see us outside of work, we tend to automatically write him off because it shows that is what he came for. As someone explained it, its using the SC as a social arena, not as a way to pass a few hours and have fun.

    It is supposed to be a place where men come to enjoy themselves for a few. We aren't selling sex and we aren't selling girlfriends - we are selling fantasies. Sorry, but that's all that is on the menu. When customers start trying to date girls, it goes from a diversion to a pick-up. He gets rejected. We stop making money. No one is having any fun anymore!!!

    There are plenty of people that I enjoy hanging out with in the club, and that all goes to shit when they start asking me out because I have to tell them no. If men would just use the club as what it is - an bar full of naked women, there to *entertain* you - instead of a singles club, I think that they would enjoy the experience a lot more. And while I am not there to enjoy the experience, so my need isn't as high on the priority list, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy people. When the dancer is having fun, everyone else is having more fun, and I would sure as hell have a lot more fun if I didn't have to explain to 15 guys a night that I am not meeting them anywhere.

    Whew! That turned into a rant. Sorry guys!
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  17. #17
    Sitri
    Guest

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg134188#msg134 188 date=1089201705
    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg133933#msg133 933 date=1089146868




    How about all the other non-aggressive "Give me a call anytime" guys that you DID throw their cell number out anyways? Unaggressive doormats handing out non-committal cell numbers in stripclubs are not uncommon or a new thing. There was something special about that one guy and I'm betting it wasnt just the lack of aggressiveness. I'm also betting you wanted him to give you his number prior, unlike 'all the others'...

    Please excuse the confusion, as we were saying the same thing. I didn't intend to give anyone hope! I live in this world and I tend to know how the story goes. All I meant was what you said - not that I like him because he was more passive about it, but that I liked him and because he was not aggressive, I gave him a call. Everything else equal, and I am interested in him - if he is agressive about seeing me outside of the club, I don't even consider it.

    When a guy tries to see us outside of work, we tend to automatically write him off because it shows that is what he came for. As someone explained it, its using the SC as a social arena, not as a way to pass a few hours and have fun.

    It is supposed to be a place where men come to enjoy themselves for a few. We aren't selling sex and we aren't selling girlfriends - we are selling fantasies. Sorry, but that's all that is on the menu. When customers start trying to date girls, it goes from a diversion to a pick-up. He gets rejected. We stop making money. No one is having any fun anymore!!!

    There are plenty of people that I enjoy hanging out with in the club, and that all goes to shit when they start asking me out because I have to tell them no. If men would just use the club as what it is - an bar full of naked women, there to *entertain* you - instead of a singles club, I think that they would enjoy the experience a lot more. And while I am not there to enjoy the experience, so my need isn't as high on the priority list, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy people. When the dancer is having fun, everyone else is having more fun, and I would sure as hell have a lot more fun if I didn't have to explain to 15 guys a night that I am not meeting them anywhere.

    Whew! That turned into a rant. Sorry guys!
    Brooke, my memory could be failing me, but didn't you meet the love of your life at the club? This is getting really scary when you start remembering deep threads.... yikes.

    [quote=Brooke]
    One of the main reasons that people I work with don't date customers is SAFETY.

    Some men can seem perfectly normal... you sit, you have drinks, you talk, you get tipped, everything is kosher. Seems like a nice guy, and completely harmless. And one day you open the newspaper to find the SAME GUY on the cover of the "Metro" section because he was arrested for child molestation. And everyone is sitting in the dressing room, after knowing him for 5 years, going, "But he seemed so nice!"

    Most of the men who come in and you get to know seem nice. Because many of them are nice. But how can you know?

    It is an artificial environment, but not just for the dancers. It is so hard to learn who a person really is in a club, and if you don't set some ground rules for your own protection, you could make a mistake. I am sure that almost everyone on this board knows someone for whom that mistake turned deadly.


    That said, two years ago I met someone at work and we are still together. I may have broken my rule, but it is possible to meet "the one" anywhere... he came along and I was in so deep before I even admitted that I was interested on another level. I had to take the chance. This time, thank God, I was right...


    Just trying to show what a romantic you really are..





  18. #18
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Bay Area, CA
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg134188#msg134 188 date=1089201705
    It is supposed to be a place where men come to enjoy themselves for a few. We aren't selling sex and we aren't selling girlfriends - we are selling fantasies. Sorry, but that's all that is on the menu. When customers start trying to date girls, it goes from a diversion to a pick-up. He gets rejected. We stop making money. No one is having any fun anymore!!!
    Outstanding! I couldn't have put it better myself.

    The dicey line is when some dancers try to be too accomodating.. and start being a bit too giving to the more lonely heart men that are looking for services close to what they'd get from a friend or girlfriend. Sure, it's a more human and warm thing to do, but more often than not, it starts to create false expectations and the customer starts taking the experience home with them... as this prime example illustrates.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  19. #19
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Ladies, part of your problem is that not all dancers share the views you all seem to be expressing. I've known several dancers who have dated guys they met in their club, including some who said they never would. And I've known some who don't mind socializing with a good customer. If we don't ask we'll never know how you feel about it.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  20. #20
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    250
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Sitri - you are right! That is actually who we were talking about, originally... then it took a distracting turn. What I had been saying was that the minute a customer asks me to meet him somewhere, any chance that we had at being friends (or more) is out the window. My man just gave me a number... it was very reserved, he didn't ask me to meet him anywhere, and it didn't scare me off. I was suggesting that the poster make it possible for her to reach him, and if she wants to see him outside the club, let her take that step. And I was using myself as an example of a dancer who became interested and made the call.

    Then I got off on a rant about men trying to use strip clubs as their dating scene, instead of as entertainment. If something happens, great, but it shouldn't be why they go... its defeating for everyone involved.

    Basically, my point is: if she wants to see you somewhere else, she'll ask. You don't have to.

    OH - and Sitri - no one has ever called me a romantic before. I'm not sure how I feel about that Kinda good, I think, but it doesn't fit my image...
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  21. #21
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Saint effing Louis
    Posts
    6,804
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg134697#msg134 697 date=1089297614
    Ladies, part of your problem is that not all dancers share the views you all seem to be expressing. I've known several dancers who have dated guys they met in their club, including some who said they never would. And I've known some who don't mind socializing with a good customer. If we don't ask we'll never know how you feel about it.
    These women get hit on 80 times a night, why do you want to be #54. That just seems ridiculous to me.

    In fact, one of my cardinal rules is to never bother a woman with that while she's working, this applies to the Library as much as it does Strip Clubs. If the cute Librarian wants me, she'll let me know, so will the cute Dancer.

  22. #22
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    406
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg134188#msg134 188 date=1089201705
    It is supposed to be a place where men come to enjoy themselves for a few. We aren't selling sex and we aren't selling girlfriends - we are selling fantasies. Sorry, but that's all that is on the menu. When customers start trying to date girls, it goes from a diversion to a pick-up. He gets rejected. We stop making money. No one is having any fun anymore!!!
    Very well said brooke.


  23. #23
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    406
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap link=board=8;threadid=10745;start=msg134801#msg134 801 date=1089316322

    These women get hit on 80 times a night, why do you want to be #54. That just seems ridiculous to me.
    LOL, it is so true. When you go to a club plan on leaving some of you money behind, but leave with your self respect intact.


  24. #24
    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Philly area
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    I think maybe my experience is different than what most of you are talking about because of the type of place that I tend to hang out in - the small neighborhood Cheers kind of place. If you go to such places regularly you get to know some of the girls really really well. And they will often tell you all kinds of personal stuff without your asking. And sometimes it will seem very natural to go out for a drink or a bite to eat after someone's day shift ends. I'm not hitting on the girl and she knows it. We're just continuing a conversation that we both enjoy.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

  25. #25
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    250
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re:She's good ... (the curse of an RIL)

    FONDL...

    I do understand because I work in a bar that I have always referred to as "Cheers with tits"... regulars there do tend to develop closer and more personal relationships with the dancers. No one is saying that they don't, and no one is saying that dancers never date customers.

    All anyone is saying is that dancers don't like being hit on. If something happens - friendship or romance - and she feels it too, she will let the customer know. You said yourself that they tell you personal things without you having to intrude. That's my point - IF she likes you as more than a source on income, she will take those steps and be comfortable.

    junkieSC was asking whether or not he should ask her out, and everyone was saying the same thing. If she wants a relationship or real friendship, she will take those steps. If she wants to see him outside the club, she will invite him to breakfast. It is very possible for dancers to develop personal feelings (even if they are not romantic) for customers... those are my favorite customers. But the minute a guy starts asking me to go places and meet him somewhere, that changes. If I ask ... I asked, and so I am comfortable with the situation.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. So what's the shelf life on a RIL?
    By Yekhefah in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-03-2007, 11:15 AM
  2. RIL saying goodbye
    By mark va in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 03-23-2007, 07:10 PM
  3. Close to becoming a RIL - Longggg
    By CalifSCVisitor65 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 09-09-2006, 04:28 PM
  4. Top 10 Signs You Are RIL?
    By fishnet in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 05-17-2003, 03:45 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •