View Poll Results: Does spanking arouse you?

Voters
44. You may not vote on this poll
  • No, it's painful.

    2 4.55%
  • No, it doesn't really hurt (unless done real hard) or arouse.

    8 18.18%
  • Yes, but only when done by a lover.

    11 25.00%
  • Yes, but it needs lots of anticipation, gradual build-up, and a "delicate" touch.

    8 18.18%
  • Yes ... as long as I'm sexually attracted to the other person.

    9 20.45%
  • Yes ... and it doesn't matter when it was done. After all, why do you think I misbehaved so much as a child?

    2 4.55%
  • Yes! And I do it to myself too!

    4 9.09%
  • 0 0%
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Thread: Sensual spanking

  1. #26
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    I love to give a good spanking. While having sex. Don't think I would be into just spanking someone who gets off on it. I don't know really never tried it. I got spanked plunty growing up. Getting spanked does nothing for me but bring back all the times I got into trouble as a kid.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  2. #27
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Sexual spanking! Ahhh yes! I love it right before a man cums! I will lightly hold onto the shaft near the pubic hair, feel him thrust inside me, and have him squeeze my ass cheek, or give a nice one time hit right before he "explodes"!

    I love it!

    Pamela

  3. #28
    Newbie foxchase23's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    WOW!

    (won't be able to focus on work today!)

  4. #29
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Darren, I think that your comments are really offensive. While guilt may be one of the many reasons a person chooses to participate in DS, it is not the only reason and your assertions are completely uninfomed and insulting. What may be the situation for some is not the case for all, and to say that one mind-set applies to me as well is ignorant.

    I love to be spanked, and I love to be dominated. I lack hang-ups about giult/sex etc. I got over them a long time before I learned about the wonderful world of BDSM. The simple fact is that, in addition to being physically stimulating, it can be mentally enjoyable. I love sex to the point that I lose myself in it and this is another way to go there, to maybe lose more of myself as I lose control. I love that as a sub I can perfectly please someone by just being told to do whatever makes them happy - no guesswork, and yet I can be anything he or she wants me to. I love being treated like the most precious toy that a good master owns.

    For me, its about pleasing my master and receiving adoration for
    doing so. To a true dom, I can be a perfect partner, and I like knowing that I make someone feel that way and that they will appreciate me in kind for giving them that. Sometimes they thank me with a good hard spanking... its like a reward for a job VERY well done.

    So next time you decide to tell people why they do things, consider that you are coming from the perspective of someone who has no experience and no idea except for the one degrading point of view that they read in a book. Some people in this world still have sex because it is truly one of the most enjoyable things in the world... and exploring new ways to enjoy that doesn't mean they have hang-ups.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

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  6. #30
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Sorry you felt offended brooke... however since you reacted so strongly maybe it is because it touched a chord of truth with you? Read your own words, "to maybe lose more of myself as I lose control" - exactly.

    The word "Guilt" is not a derogatory word. It describes is a normal human feeling, and there is no shame in having some feelings of guilt.

    By the way, look up the word "seduce" sometime. "lure or entice away from duty, principles, or proper conduct". "provoke someone to do something through (often false or exaggerated) promises or persuasion".

    Same idea, someone else leads you to do something you wouldn't otherwise normally do...

    Yes, you might have other motivations and reasons why you like being dominated, but you didn't explain waht they are. You said is that you love the way if feels. Of course, nobody said it doesn't feel good to be dominated or have sex while being dominated, but that doesn't mean you don't have underlying motivations (yes even possibly guilt) for why you feel as you do.

    I understand that the DOM/SUB thing is not exactly normal/common behavior, but a lot of people confuse themselves. They assume that because they engage in kinky sex that they don't have hang ups about sex. Which makes no sense at all.. they may be engaging in unusual sex to work through some issues they have.

    It also doesn't follow that justYes, you might have other motivations and reasons but I read your sentences again and mostly what you said is that you love the way if feels. Of course, nobody said it doesn't feel good, but that doesn't mean you don't have underlying motivations (yes even possibly guilt) for why you feel as you do.


  7. #31
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Well Foxchase you could step up to my bed anyday! Spank me babe!

    Pamela

  8. #32
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Sorry you felt offended brooke... however since you reacted so strongly maybe it is because it touched a chord of truth with you? Read your own words, "to maybe lose more of myself as I lose control" - exactly.

    The word "Guilt" is not a derogatory word. It describes is a normal human feeling, and there is no shame in having some feelings of guilt.

    By the way, look up the word "seduce" sometime. "lure or entice away from duty, principles, or proper conduct". "provoke someone to do something through (often false or exaggerated) promises or persuasion".

    Same idea, someone else leads you to do something you wouldn't otherwise normally do...

    Yes, you might have other motivations and reasons why you like being dominated, but you didn't explain waht they are. You said is that you love the way if feels. Of course, nobody said it doesn't feel good to be dominated or have sex while being dominated, but that doesn't mean you don't have underlying motivations (yes even possibly guilt) for why you feel as you do.

    I understand that the DOM/SUB thing is not exactly normal/common behavior, but a lot of people confuse themselves. They assume that because they engage in kinky sex that they don't have hang ups about sex. Which makes no sense at all.. they may be engaging in unusual sex to work through issues they have.

  9. #33
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Hell yeah, spank me baby!!! Whip me, beat me, beat me, make me like it! Pull out the whips, chains, bondage cross, cat of 10 tails, paddle, belts, ect.... Just make sure to kiss it a little afterwards.

    Kitana
    :
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  10. #34
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    By the way brooke, I do agree it is very pleasurable to let go, lose yourself in the pleasure and let someone else take control, however... Losing control is a state of mind, and some people can enter that state of mind without the spanking/punishing/you-are-bad kink play. I guess I think that when a person needs the punishment/spanking to enter that state of mind there is more going on there then just losing control. There is nothing wrong with that, it is normal, but don&#039;t confuse the pleasure of giving up control to another with the reason why punishment/aggressive-sex-play works to let people give up control.

  11. #35
    Newbie foxchase23's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela link=board=1;threadid=10778;start=msg133809#msg133 809 date=1089127345
    Well Foxchase you could step up to my bed anyday! Spank me babe! ;D :bedtime:

    Pamela
    lets do it baby...i can&#039;t think of a better place to be (than in your bed)

    :lovestruck: :hungry: :hot: :10:

  12. #36
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Darren,

    Actually, I specifically said several times that I enjoy knowing that I pleased my partner, I like the way that subbing makes that so easy, and I like the reward that I receive for doing so. You took the one sentence that (taken out of context) proved your point. And I had a strong reaction because you specifically stated that you don&#039;t have sex with screwed-up people with hangups like you think I have.

    If I do have a hang-up, it is undying fear that I will not please my partner. Subbing completely removes this from my fears as the person that I am with makes it very clear what they want and how I should give it to them. I also talked about the way that my masters have treated me... adoration, toys, things like that. All of the things that I said about WHY I like it, you glossed over and didn&#039;t see as an explanation because it didn&#039;t fit the one that you accept. But there were reasons - MY REASONS. And I was very careful to state and repeat them. So there was your third time.

    When I spoke of "losing" - it was actually losing "more of myself" that I get from relinquishing control. But, I also said that I lose myself in straight sex too... everyone has their "vices" - their place that they go to forget about everything else, from drugs to TV. Sex is mine. Well, one of them I lose the outside world and the bullshit and nothing exists but me and the person/people that I am with and that makes me happy. I don&#039;t have to lose control to fully appreciate it... that&#039;s just a different way, a different flavor. One that comes with very pretty clothes that I love to dress up in and show off!

    I didn&#039;t say that I was wholey without sexual hang-ups, I just said that guilt did not play a role in my love of DS, and that you are close-minded for thinking that you know WHY others enjoy something you know nothing about, except for that theory you read in a book. And then you read my response, complete with explanation, and proved my point.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  13. #37
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Spank me, bind me, pull my hair...
    Spank me, bind me, pull my hair...

    : : : :
    OH YEAH! I love being spanked... and my hair pulled...

    Hmmmm (looks in drawer.. where is that damn rabbit?).... all this talk...




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  14. #38
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Darren -

    I am sorry that this got heated. Let&#039;s agree to disagree. I tend to get defensive when someone doesn&#039;t want to have sex with me

    But the simple fact is that I don&#039;t need you to approve of what I do in bed or why... you aren&#039;t in my bed, so it doesn&#039;t really matter. Nice Brooke only, from now on, I promise.

    Brooke
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  15. #39
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=1;threadid=10778;start=msg133842#msg133 842 date=1089134851
    Darren,

    Actually, I specifically said several times that I enjoy knowing that I pleased my partner, I like the way that subbing makes that so easy, and I like the reward that I receive for doing so. You took the one sentence that (taken out of context) proved your point. And I had a strong reaction because you specifically stated that you don&#039;t have sex with screwed-up people with hangups like you think I have.

    If I do have a hang-up, it is undying fear that I will not please my partner. Subbing completely removes this from my fears as the person that I am with makes it very clear what they want and how I should give it to them. I also talked about the way that my masters have treated me... adoration, toys, things like that. All of the things that I said about WHY I like it, you glossed over and didn&#039;t see as an explanation because it didn&#039;t fit the one that you accept. But there were reasons - MY REASONS. And I was very careful to state and repeat them. So there was your third time.

    When I spoke of "losing" - it was actually losing "more of myself" that I get from relinquishing control. But, I also said that I lose myself in straight sex too... everyone has their "vices" - their place that they go to forget about everything else, from drugs to TV. Sex is mine. Well, one of them I lose the outside world and the bullshit and nothing exists but me and the person/people that I am with and that makes me happy. I don&#039;t have to lose control to fully appreciate it... that&#039;s just a different way, a different flavor. One that comes with very pretty clothes that I love to dress up in and show off!

    I didn&#039;t say that I was wholey without sexual hang-ups, I just said that guilt did not play a role in my love of DS, and that you are close-minded for thinking that you know WHY others enjoy something you know nothing about, except for that theory you read in a book. And then you read my response, complete with explanation, and proved my point.
    I read my response again regarding "specifically stated that you don&#039;t have sex with screwed-up", and you are absolutely correct! I thought it over and realized that I was wrong for saying what I did. I realized that I do the same, just in a different way. What I should have said is that I don&#039;t enjoy hurting others, not even playing, it is a turn off for me. So I would tend to avoid someone that enjoys spanking, beatings, etc. I don&#039;t enjoy dishing it out and prefer other ways of invoking feelings of submission (e.g., seduction, sex games that don&#039;t involve violence, sharing fantasies, etc). I have no problem with the desire to be taken control of and submit, it is just the means (punishment/spanking) that I object to. So I stand corrected - sorry about that. You are right that was offensive.

    I did re-read the rest of your posting and what you wrote above, and I will think it over. I understand regarding you mentioned if anything, it is a fear of not pleasing your partner, but that&#039;s just part of the desire to submit, it doesn&#039;t address WHY you have a desire to submit, which is where the guilt comes into play. You submit because you get something out of it... guilt is a powerful motivation to do so. There may be other motivations but you haven&#039;t told me what those are, just that you enjoy submitting. What is behind the need to submit?

    The topic though was about spanking, and I added S&M play in general (it was not about B&D though there is some cross over there). So I was commenting on why it is that someone takes pleasure in being hurt (however lightly) in response to some other messages in which we talked about how spanking for punishment (e.g., children) is not the same thing as spanking for sexual (which Topaz mentioned, and I agree, is a DOM thing).

    With regards to "that you are close-minded for thinking that you know WHY others enjoy something you know nothing about, except for that theory you read in a book." No fault to you, but this is a common and weak argument. It is the same argument used by Islamic Jihad Terrorists... it is the old, you aren&#039;t entirely like me so you can&#039;t understand me... it is just ain&#039;t so. Just because you are deeply and emotionally involved in something it does&#039;t follow that you see your own motivations and drives clearly ... often the opposite is true, deep involvement can leave us blinded to why it is that we do what we do. Your basic drives as a human just aren&#039;t that different from anyone elses. While I don&#039;t have a strong need to be dominated, or a strong need to dominate others, it doesn&#039;t follow that I can&#039;t understand what motivates people to want to be dominated or to dominate. Take an example... I use to smoke, so I understand what it is like to be addicted to a substance. I may not understand exactly what it is like to be addicted to heroin, but I don&#039;t need to be a heroin addict to understand the basic drives. But ask a Heroin addict why they do what they do... and few of them will tell you it is because they are addicted, or be able to explain to you what it is about their personality that drives them to use drugs. They will tell you how good it makes them feel, how it is an escape, and so on. I view what you are telling me in a very similar way. You are telling me how submitting makes you feel good, how it is an escape, and how I couldn&#039;t understand that feeling, but you aren&#039;t explaining what it is about you that drives you to be submissive. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that drive, but there are somethings behind that desire to be submissive (and to be hurt into submissiveness for those that are into being hurt).


  16. #40
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=1;threadid=10778;start=msg133859#msg133 859 date=1089136970
    Darren -

    I am sorry that this got heated. Let&#039;s agree to disagree. I tend to get defensive when someone doesn&#039;t want to have sex with me

    But the simple fact is that I don&#039;t need you to approve of what I do in bed or why... you aren&#039;t in my bed, so it doesn&#039;t really matter. Nice Brooke only, from now on, I promise.

    Brooke
    No its okay brooke - you were right that my statement suggesting that i dont have sex with screwed up people was completely out of line... as you see, I don&#039;t fully agree with all of your points, but yes we can agree to disagree on some of that.

    In this case though I do fully agree that what I said was offensive and I am sorry for that.

  17. #41
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Looks like Brooke and Darren can now double date with Topaz and Pumpkin Pie.

    Ahh young love....

    Spanking: It Brings People Together

  18. #42
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    OHMIGAWD Prester J.. you read the onion too???? I love that website!


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  19. #43
    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    < *winks at Darren* Hey Baby...
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

  20. #44
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke link=board=1;threadid=10778;start=msg134193#msg134 193 date=1089202798
    < *winks at Darren* Hey Baby...

  21. #45
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Shopping list....... whips, chains, bondage cross, cat of 10 tails, paddle, belts what else do I need?
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  22. #46
    Senior Member Viper's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Wow a discussion somewhat regarding S/M D/S and a lively one at that.

    To start off I am a dominant male and prefer submissive females just in general and when emily mentioned the space she goes to I am assuming she means "subspace" which does not have to involve sex at all.

    Most people do not understand that BDSM is more of a mental state than anything else and yes there are quite a few crazies out there that try and become involved in it so care must be taken but to truly understand it you should read SM101 by Jay Wiesman or go to any of these websites

    http://www.twoheartsonesoul.com

    http://www.tes.org

    http://www.soj.org

    http://www.castlerealm.com

    On any of those sites there is much to be read and understood about the lifestyle and as someone that is originally from NYC and still a member of TES it is a different lifestyle and it is possible to wear many hats as I can be polite and quiet at a club and prefer just to talk to the ladies and tip them just as if I had gotten a dance or at work where I am always out for the buck and kinda sarcastic and hardheaded to being in a relationship where someone has given you the most precious thing there is in the world and that is themselves willingly and openly

    Blah didnt meant to rant on and on and on sorry

  23. #47
    Senior Member Viper's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    LoL

    almost forgot I would prefer to be the spanker but did not see that listed as a choice :evil:

  24. #48
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    Does nothing for me. Kind of Boring too.

  25. #49
    Featured Member Devastating Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    I&#039;m in agreement with Pam that if a guy is spanking you right before he comes you feel his orgasm more intensely. I really like being spanked and for me, mutual orgasm, is most easily reached in the woman on top position while doing this. I still remember the first guy that spanked me and how great and unexpected it felt. It still feels the same way to this day. And, Uh Gynger, I am SO there with you on the hair pulling.
    "Come what may although I often say realities come from dreams, but approach all lies with open eyes because NOthing in this world is EVER ALL it seems."

  26. #50
    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sensual spanking

    I voted "only when done by a lover"... but....

    There are a LOT of other alternatives! For me, spanking is a punishment thing. For example, I quit smoking cuz my hunnie turned me over his knee and gave me a pretty hard spanking every time he smelled smoke on me. I don&#039;t know which was worse -- the pain or the humiliation of being spankied.

    On the other hand, even though I knew I was being punished, there was a REAL sensualness afterwards, ya know?

    hmmmm..... need to run down to 7-11 and get a pack of cigs.

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