Darren,
Actually, I specifically said several times that I enjoy knowing that I pleased my partner, I like the way that subbing makes that so easy, and I like the reward that I receive for doing so. You took the one sentence that (taken out of context) proved your point. And I had a strong reaction because you specifically stated that you don't have sex with screwed-up people with hangups like you think I have.
If I do have a hang-up, it is undying fear that I will not please my partner. Subbing completely removes this from my fears as the person that I am with makes it very clear what they want and how I should give it to them. I also talked about the way that my masters have treated me... adoration, toys, things like that. All of the things that I said about WHY I like it, you glossed over and didn't see as an explanation because it didn't fit the one that you accept. But there were reasons - MY REASONS. And I was very careful to state and repeat them. So there was your third time.
When I spoke of "losing" - it was actually losing "more of myself" that I get from relinquishing control. But, I also said that I lose myself in straight sex too... everyone has their "vices" - their place that they go to forget about everything else, from drugs to TV. Sex is mine. Well, one of them

I lose the outside world and the bullshit and nothing exists but me and the person/people that I am with and that makes me happy. I don't have to lose control to fully appreciate it... that's just a different way, a different flavor. One that comes with very pretty clothes that I love to dress up in and show off!
I didn't say that I was wholey without sexual hang-ups, I just said that guilt did not play a role in my love of DS, and that you are close-minded for thinking that you know WHY others enjoy something you know nothing about, except for that theory you read in a book. And then you read my response, complete with explanation, and proved my point.
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