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Thread: choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

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    Veteran Member toxicgirl's Avatar
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    Default choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    this may be a tad long post, just to forwarn you guys.

    i had a drug problem over the past seven years (clean for 1 yr & a half). i used to be a boozer when i was 13-17. i havent had a problem with drugs or booze since i've been dancing. i made the promise to myself to not touch anything- at work or out of work.

    here's my issue: clubs like girls to sell alcoholic drinks. i choose not to drink or have anything to do with alcohol. i'm one of those kinds of people where if they accidentally put booze in my drink, i start craving more (which can lead to using more than booze). i can get out of control. i've had it suggested to me to 'fake it'. in other words taking only teeny sips of an alcoholic drink, getting a 'fake' drink or pouring out the drink in the bathroom. but, in all honestly, i just don't feel comfortable with this. i feel a lot safer by just telling people i don't drink, period (i'll tell them i'm underage if i have to) my club is unaware of my past. i prefer to keep it that way- it'll keep me out of trouble. i know the club wil make more money if i try and sell 'booze', but with my past problems, trying to stay away from it as much as possible will help me stick with my goals. in my club sometimes customers offer drugs too- when they find out i don't drink- they usually don't bother me with anything else. i also notice i get a lot more respect from customers by telling them my descision.

    here's what i'd like to know:
    dancers, have you ever had a similar issue to mine and did you choose t handle it the same way i did? am i the only one who's made this choice?

    managers, bartenders, housemoms, what is your opinion of a dancer who chooses to not drink at all or order alcoholic drinks (even if they're fake)?
    "RIP THE SYSTEM"

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    First of all, I'm very sorry about your past problems with drugs and alcohol. But, I have to give you tons of credit for overcoming it, and voiding it from your life. It definitely takes a great deal of strength. You should be very proud.

    I personally don't see a problem with your decision of not selling or drinking alcoholic beverages. I can see how it could be very rough. Although you've risen above your addictions, the temptation will always remain in some form.

    In one of my old clubs, they encouraged patrons to "buy the lady a drink". They all knew that I didn't like alcoholic drinks, so.. they made me what they called a "Lady's Drink". It was the most foul and disgusting thing. LOL. I'm not even quite sure what they put in it, but there was no alcohol. Whenever one was bought for me, I'd let it sit there, and pretend to sip it occasionally. The club didn't really lose out on money, because they charged just as much, and sometimes more money, for that type of drink.

    Do what you feel is best hon. Only you know how it will affect you.

    ~Hugs~
    Rhi

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I think it's wonderful that you are so strong in wanting to stay off of drugs and alcohol. A lot of people in my life have these problems too, I know the pain of seeing them suffer. There are more people out there with addiction problems than anyone thinks...you are very brave.
    My suggestions to avoid drinking: at my old bar, we had to hustle hustle the booze. The bartenders and dancers invented the "wink wink" vodka shot or mixed drink (innocent water) and some bars will stock beer bottles refilled with water in the corner of the freezer for nondrinking dancers and bartenders. It's always good to distract the customer with chatter while the bartender is mixing your "drink" so he doesn't catch on (yes, I have seen customers get pissed off at paying for nonalcoholic drinks.)
    Or, you can say you have an ulcer, or other medical condition that eliminates booze consumption. (I had that really happen, and the scent of hard liquor made me want to puke.)
    You can also look at avoidance of alcohol as a motivator to hustle harder (sales pitch vs. shooting the breeze), and hustle certain customers who really aren't there to get slobbering drunk. Patrons of juice bars aren't there for the Shirley Temples!

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    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I applaud your decision, and your tenacity.

    I used to work at a bar that had the "blue water" as we called it. If you weren't drinking, you could order a bottle of water for the standard $7, or the blue water for $13. There was no lying involved at all, and the bar was still making $12 for a bottle of spring water, which made them happy because that was usually more than they made off of an alcoholic drink. Check with your manager or bartender to see if there is an expensive, non-alcoholic drink available. That would eliminate yours and the bars concerns about keeping up sales without ripping off customers.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

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    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I am really impressed by your decision, and I wish you all the luck. Especially working in this industry. I've known alot of dancers who had drug, drinking problems and eating disorders. My best freind had all three, she just gave up dancing that was the only way she could do it.
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

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    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Congrats, on being so strong in your faith and convictions. Althought I have never had a problem with the booze, I know too many girls that have. I used to bartend while I was pregnant with my youngest so I can tell you the things to try.

    1. Shirley temples= sprite, and grenedaine
    2. anything and coke= just coke with a splash of sprite
    3. tequlia rose= milk and grenadine
    4. the obvious ones just without no alchohol, ie...sunrise, screwdriver,pina colada, ect...

    The reason for the more deliberate deception for our bar, is that the guys were dicks and ordered whatever the girl would. So to make the think the girl was getting it too they had to color match. LOL I know it's wierd but hey it worked, and we all made money.

    Just talk to the bartender, tell him what's going on; say you are on a religious fast of sorts and you gave up all booze. So all you want is virgin drinks, most likely he will understand. But good luck and stick with it.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Good for you! Sometimes it can be so hard to keep away from liqour in this type of environment and I am so proud of you!

    I stayed away from liqour because I was nursing a baby at home...which I didn&#039;t tell the customers. I simply told them that if I had a drink with every customer who offered, I would be in a sorry state later in the evening. I would thank them for the offer and politely ask if they would mind buying me "just a coke". If they got annoyed at paying for a non-alcoholic drink, then I would let them talk me into an "alcoholic" one...like (ugh...forgot the name...has orange juice, sweet and sour, and grenadine).

    Most people do not mind buying non-alcoholic drinks, but for the ones that do...just let them "think" you are getting something with liqour in it.

    Congrats, again! Have fun!

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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I very rarely ever drink alcohol at work. If it is my birthday or something special, I&#039;ll let a customer buy me one or two. I drink redbull or coffee instead. If a customer asks me why I don&#039;t drink alcohol, I just explain that I am at work and have never drank at any other job, so why would I at this one?

    I&#039;ve never been given a hard time by the managers or waitstaff because of it. The managers actually respect me more for my decision.

    Stick to your guns and don&#039;t do anything you don&#039;t want to. Be proud of yourself for staying strong with so much pressure. Good luck!

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    Senior Member Viper's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Congrats on being able to strong enough and have the willpower to stay sober.

    As a customer I liked the way that Venus put it as if you did have a drink with every customer you would be really lit by the end of the shift

    The only thing is that as a customer when I buy a lady a drink I will usually ask if I may taste it saying I have never tried that beforeso if it is non-alcoholic then believe me that would be upsetting after paying for such.

    I truly believe that in this case your honesty would be more intriguing at least in my view.

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    Veteran Member kermit210's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I don&#039;t drink at work, either, simply because it makes me tired. But, I have taken a lot of crap from customers over it. Guys at my club get insulted if you won&#039;t do a shot with them, sometimes won&#039;t tip me as well if I won&#039;t sit down with them and get as drunk as some of the other girls are willing to do. It&#039;s seen as a social bonding experience to drink together, and some customers have spent hours trying to peer-pressure me into drinking, never seeing it as rude. Personally, I don&#039;t think it&#039;s anyone&#039;s business but mine what I choose to put inside my body, even if they have paid for the drink. It&#039;s my company and time being paid for, not the amount of alchohol in the drink, and it would offend me if a customer wanted to taste-test my drink to check my honesty.
    I propose a toast - to my self control.... I see you crawling, helpless, on the floor.......
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Congrats on your sobriety. I can appreciate the work that goes into your length of sobriety. You know most importantly is to be true to yourself, and living that truth, whatever it is for you.

    At one of the clubs I worked at, they had set up a system for underage drinkers and nondrinkers to make it look like they were ordering alcohol. Like some of the other girls described above. The shooter girls had a certain row that were non-alcoholic, and I set up certain code drinks with the waitresses. I stopped drinking four hours before my shift ended.

    If you feel that this would be comprimising your values don&#039;t do it. Do what feels right in your heart.

    I also wanted to add that the person who told you to take tiny sips doesn&#039;t understand the nature of alcoholism and drug addiction. An alcoholic can&#039;t have just one sip or one drink. Hence the insidiousness of the disease of alcoholism and addictions.

    There is also the option of explaining that you don&#039;t drink because you are allergic to alcohol, which you are. This way you would be revealing your truth but you wouldn&#039;t have to go into long explanations unless you wanted to.

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    Tap it and be sustained.
    Channel, and it will speak.

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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    So i guess selling you crack is out of the question?

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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    kidding!!

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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Viper link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134686#msg13 4686 date=1089294610
    The only thing is that as a customer when I buy a lady a drink I will usually ask if I may taste it saying I have never tried that beforeso if it is non-alcoholic then believe me that would be upsetting after paying for such.
    Not to be rude, but I would never let a customer drink out of my glass. In fact, once I leave a table (no matter what for), I will not finish my drink. There have been too many weird things that happen to drinks that way.

    If a customer does not want to pay the "alcohol" price on a "fake" drink, then they need to respect that the dancer doesn&#039;t want to drink so she orders a coke or something of that nature.

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    Member DelicaSin's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134776#msg13 4776 date=1089313799
    Quote Originally Posted by Viper link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134686#msg13 4686 date=1089294610
    The only thing is that as a customer when I buy a lady a drink I will usually ask if I may taste it saying I have never tried that beforeso if it is non-alcoholic then believe me that would be upsetting after paying for such.
    Not to be rude, but I would never let a customer drink out of my glass. In fact, once I leave a table (no matter what for), I will not finish my drink. There have been too many weird things that happen to drinks that way.
    I agree. Safety first!!
    Tipping is SEXY!!

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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by DelicaSin link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134779#msg13 4779 date=1089314166
    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134776#msg13 4776 date=1089313799
    Quote Originally Posted by Viper link=board=27;threadid=10817;start=msg134686#msg13 4686 date=1089294610
    The only thing is that as a customer when I buy a lady a drink I will usually ask if I may taste it saying I have never tried that beforeso if it is non-alcoholic then believe me that would be upsetting after paying for such.
    Not to be rude, but I would never let a customer drink out of my glass. In fact, once I leave a table (no matter what for), I will not finish my drink. There have been too many weird things that happen to drinks that way.
    I agree. Safety first!!
    Absolutely. I, the big germaphobe that I am, don&#039;t even like it when friends drink from my glass!!



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Veteran Member ladysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    I NEVER drink at work simply because I choose not to drink for my own health reasons. Most people respect my desicion. I instead opt to drink sugar free red bull or soda when customers offer to buy me drinks.

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    Senior Member Diva's Avatar
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Congratulations Toxicgirl - I wish I could do the same for health reasons. If I don&#039;t drink I find I make less money, I guess because the alcohol puts me in a party mood and the customers like a happy fun dancer but if I have too much it also dulls the mood. Please tell me how you did it so I can try. I love champagne and would really like to quit drinking while at work but it&#039;s quite hard in this environment. I once asked a dancer how can she work without drinking and she answered how can I drink while working. This dancer made $10,000 per week and did what ever was necesary to make her goal such as giving guys drugs but not sure if she used it herself. I don&#039;t do any drugs but I sure would like to quit drinking while at work...... please tell me how to other than will power.
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    Default Re:choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Toxic,
    I am a customer who does not drink either. When a customer "buys you a drink" 95% of the time they do not care what is in it--they want you to sit next to them and talk to them and make them feel special. If you went on a date to dinner is your date going to care if you ate meat and feel ripped off if you are a vegetarian? There are a dozen reasons why a person would not drink, from the medical (as mentioned earlier including medications which conflict), to the dietary (not wanting the carbs), to being tired, to the wish to not be at risk driving home, to just not drinking alcohol.

    If you want to not be obvious you are not consuming alcohol just arrange for the wait staff or bartender to have a "Toxic Special". Half of the drinks made are so convoluted no one gives a fig whats in them. Say the recipe is a family secret. The house only cares about the money they charge the guy. The server only cares about their tip. The client only cares about you being on the bar stool next to them and their fantasies. Guys buy "drinks" hoping you will feel obligated to sit next to them for awhile.

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    Senior Member MiragePDX's Avatar
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    Default Re: choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Toxic,

    I decided on my first night dancing that I would be completely straight-edge at work. I have a special drink that I call a "kinky virgin". Basically whatever fruity non-alcoholic concoction the bartender wants to make for me. It's fun because each bartender makes it differently. I rarely have anyone question whether or not I'm drinking alcohol...and the name always works as a conversation starter with the customer =)
    http://www.miragepdx.com

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    The key to giving a truly great dance is being able to make the customer really believe that you WANT him and that you are genuinely enjoying being so close to him. Do this by looking deep into his eyes...and establish a nonverbal sexual and emotional connection with him. The energy between you and him determines everything. Trust me - if you do this, he will never want to leave, and he will always come back for more.

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    Default Re: choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    ^^^ check the date on the OP. 2004.

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    Default Re: choosing not to drink- ? for dancers, bartenders, managers, etc.

    Yeah, Blast from the Past, lol!

    The one thing I find interesting is the customer buying the dancer a drink and wanting it to be 'real'. I won't get dances of course when I see my friends in other clubs, but I will send dancers to tip them, and buy them drinks. I can sort of understand the feeling that a customer wants it to be an alcoholic beverage, I'll even ask if it's a 'real drink' or not, sometimes--but I am laughing now. I am their friend, it's a friendly gesture, not an attempt to get them fucked up. You are offering them comfort and refreshment, that's what matters. If it's an exotic blend of fruit juices, and it makes her feel good, this is a good thing.

    I never, ever drink at work until the last hour of the night, it just slows me down. A few dancers I have known will make more money if they loosen up with a drink or three, but I have seen it hurt the money way, way more often than it helping.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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