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Thread: Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    As I walked up to give my hubby a hug after my first night at work, I had this horrible feeling. I felt like: he's just "another guy" like the rest of them that stuffed dollar bills in my thong all but 5 minutes ago. I'm not sure how to word this properly, so hopefully you get what I mean. I wasn't upset or anything, and I got past the feeling after about an hour, but it was like: when I ran my fingers thru his hair, I thought... I just DID that to 12 other guys! Almost like it lost it's "special-ness" for a moment in time. I guess I'm wondering if that feeling will go away or get stronger with time? Maybe I'm alone on this one... ???


    Just to clarify, we are VERY close (Best friends b4 lovers) been together 3 years, and I tell him everything, so yeah he does know that I felt this way.


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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    YES!! It's made me more appreciative of who he is and all of the little things he does for me. No matter how many times I give "other men" hugs, the hugs from my SO are different and I always look forward to them.

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    Senior Member Celeste's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Yeah you may run your fingers through a guys hair at work while doing a dance and do the same thing to your hubby at home. But only your hubby can give you that certain smile or look when you do it. Only your hubby knows what your favorite things are. He knows the intimate details about you that the guys at the club are dying to know. There will be cross overs from time to time but you have more of an intimate connection at home. The only connection at the club is the money in your garter. He is the luckiest man in the world they only wish they could be.

    Me too. Friends before lovers. 3 1/2 years and can tell him anything.


    Good for you two!
    "What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?"
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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Easy solution.. have your husband shave his head then skip over the hairless dudes at the club.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    I don't know how to answer this, other than it never affected my feelings towards my SO's who danced.

    If there's no trust in the beginning, there really is no relationship.

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    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    yes I went thru the same thing, I felt my dancer personality was spilling into my 'real' life, those are the feelings I DON'T miss.
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

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    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

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    Featured Member Juliette_deSade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Actually, it has affected HIS feelings towards me. That is part of the reason why the relationship ended. He thought I could pay off bills and debts at a movie theatre. It caused a rift-he did not want other guys looking at his girlfriend.
    The Texas Pin-up Stripteuse!

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    Veteran Member Isis's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Yes, I think I appreciate him more now after seeing so many jerks night after night at work.

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    okay therse are re-assuring answers. nice to know I'm not nuts...

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by kellyallstar link=board=27;threadid=10865;start=msg135039#msg13 5039 date=1089377174
    yes I went thru the same thing, I felt my dancer personality was spilling into my 'real' life, those are the feelings I DON'T miss.
    I think I must be going through that!!!! Kellyallstar how do stop doing it??

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Kelly, that's a GREAT way to put it! Like my "dancer life" is spilling over into my REAL life...Mercadez: I was just thinking the SAME thing... How DID you make it stop K-all-star? Or did the feeling just get weaker and weaker with time? Good thing I started this thread, I was questioning wether or not to start it, cause I figured people would take it the wrong way, but it's good to know that I may have a valid point.

    BTW... NOT, I repeat NOT a trust issue on either of our part. Just a weird feeling in the back of my mind that I *obviously* have trouble putting into words.


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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis link=board=27;threadid=10865;start=msg135120#msg13 5120 date=1089394163
    Yes, I think I appreciate him more now after seeing so many jerks night after night at work.
    This is great...

    Playboycntrfold--I wrote this while you were making your latest post, and I see that it is not necessarily directly applicable to your specific situation. Nonetheless I am posting it, as it covers issues most relationships must deal with if one or both are in the biz...

    I think with time you will grow to appreciate your guy more, as you become accustomed to how idiotic--if not actually abusive--customers can be. The fact that this troubles you speaks well for the depth and sincerity of your feelings for him. This should enable you to overcome this potential barrier, as will your openess and honesty. It also doesn't sound as though you will take his understanding for granted--this is a bigger problem than many realize.

    Make no mistake about it, this can be very difficult for a guy who really loves his girl. I never had much problem with it when I was having more casual relations with dancers. And I hold my own with my present girlfriend, but it isn't always so easy. This business can be very rough indeed on anyone with any notion whatsoever of Romantic Love, haha. This applies to dancers dating DJs as well. I have had dancers fresh out of the "grinder' get pissed as hell because I was talking to a new girl!

    How you handle it will make a huge difference on how easy it is for him to deal with it. If you jump on his shit at the slightest sign of jealousy or discomfort, as so many are wont to do, you could be making a very big mistake. This is especially true if you are doing high-contact lap dancing. Who cares if guys are looking at 'your' girlfriend strutting naked across the stage? This has never phased me, I love it...

    But very, very few guys can contemplate the idea of the woman they love rubbing a dozen penises a night, regardless of how many layers of clothing are in between, or how little the woman cares about it. You can also dislike this idea even if you do trust your SO implicitly. It is not a pleasant mental image for most. Just as the majority of women in love would not willingly contemplate 'their' guy rubbing several other women's 'mound of venus' every night.

    This is the way guys tend to be about women they love. It is not inherently evil, stupid, or selfish--unless they use the situation as an excuse to play rabid horn-dog or abusive asshole, which I have seen way more than I care to think about.

    You cannot 'own' your lover, or their body, especially if they are in this kind of business. But it is not a business that most average couples can survive long, whether it's the guy working, the girl working, or both (actually this is perhaps the easiest way to deal with it).

    And for chrissakes, if he looks at Stripperweb with you, don't let him read threads like this...

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/ind...mer/t3936.html

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    There is nothing necessarily wrong with this sentiment, but .0001% of men would want any part of a relationship with someone who feels this way.

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis link=board=27;threadid=10865;start=msg135120#msg13 5120 date=1089394163
    Yes, I think I appreciate him more now after seeing so many jerks night after night at work.
    Isis I feel bad for you. Its unfortunate that some guys have to be jerks. Its so much better to be a gentleman at the club and save your "misbehavior" for outside. Its not rocket science

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Djoser- you're a very sweet, kind-hearted guy.

    Thanks for the input.

    Although you're right, and the majority of your post is NOT the feeling I was talking about in particular; it's also another VERY thought about topic.

    My sweetheart and I have had many conversations about "this whole dancing business" <~~~(as we have come to refer to it) and I agree that I should be VERY sympathetic to his feelings on the issue. I&#039;ve never gotten mad at him for being jealous (<~~~ although his jealousy did a 180 after the first night I came home with a wad of 20&#039;s LOL) because I know that he is MADLY in love with me (as I am him) and if I were in his position, how would I feel?

    A month or so ago, his biggest issue with it, was just as you mentioned: other guys seeing HIS girl strut around nude showing off the sacred parts for the world to see. But since then, (it&#039;s strange; but maybe not as strange as I think) my being a "stripper" has only become a turn-on for him. He&#039;s adopted the attitude that I&#039;m sure all SO&#039;s in successful "stripper-relationships" have to have: she&#039;s getting paid to look hot, and even then she comes home to ME, and I get to do what all those guys WISH they could do (and became BROKE trying to do) for FREE!

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    PBCF, you should be proud that he has been able to make it over the hump. I think it takes a hell of a guy to rationalize other men checking out his womans cookie for money. Take him out for beer and wings at the local hooters and laugh about all the PL&#039;s

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    FBR- you&#039;re 100% correct! *ding ding ding* We&#039;ll hit the local hooters this weekend!!!

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    better yet, I&#039;ll take him to six flags!! Gotta go, I got some plannin&#039; to do! > I been lookin&#039; for a reason to go to six flags! hehehehehe<




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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Sure hope your SO has no dandruff



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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    I have definately felt Guilty after coming home after a hard day of putting up with perverts and felt like I did something wrong or bad. Me and my guy were also best friends for 8 years before we started dating, otherwise I have never been in a relationship while I have been a dancer. He understands and supports my choice to dance because he knows I am in college and eventually i will stop. But on the other hand, I have grown to love him so much more because He is the one that I am truly giving my affection to and I am not acting like I do at work. At first, my real life and my relationship felt lumped together, but eventually I learned how to keep them seperate and turn off those nagging feelings of guilt. I know that when I am at work...I am someone else.... a fantasy..... someone totally different than my true self, but when me and my SO are together it is the real deal...and I can be real and that&#039;s what&#039;s so awesome about it. We trust eachother with all our secrets and god knows I don&#039;t tell my customers shit about my real life. It has helped me appreciate and cherish who I am with so much more.

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by playboycntrfold link=board=27;threadid=10865;start=msg135282#msg13 5282 date=1089423765
    FBR- you&#039;re 100% correct! *ding ding ding* We&#039;ll hit the local hooters this weekend!!!
    Id buy his ass a beer if I were there LOL And you one too of course

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    It&#039;s interesting to step back and observe my feelings about my SO vs men at the club. I work in a club that depends on convention buisiness to make it, so I meet a zillion different meninstead of mostly regulars; alot are actually very sweet and good looking and we get along great. Sometimes I&#039;m very attracted to some of them and get a little caught up in my "single" behaviour. I love to be flirty and coy and play with guys at the club (not in bad ways) but I can step back and think how happy I&#039;ll be when I come home to my dark house (well, maybe a a little bit daylit house) and crawl into bed with my husband. It&#039;s a great feeling to leave it all behind and come home to the man who loves me.

    And of course, the crusty, obnoxious ones always make me appreciate my own man that much more.

    (I just love these smilies)
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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Quote Originally Posted by playboycntrfold link=board=27;threadid=10865;start=msg135295#msg13 5295 date=1089426448
    better yet, I&#039;ll take him to six flags!! Gotta go, I got some plannin&#039; to do! > I been lookin&#039; for a reason to go to six flags! hehehehehe<

    Excellent idea! A day at an amusement park is a great way to spend a day being kids again. A great way to let him know that your still that fun loving down to earth real-life girl friend that you were before you started dancing.

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.............I&#039;m starting to think I may not be special to the dancers!!!

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    I&#039;m dating a guy who is 100% secure in my love for him, has no problem with my dancing (even likes to come in and watch me once in a while, he looooves that I go home with HIM at the end of every night), and doesn&#039;t expect me to pay his bills.

    Dancers often see the worst and most boorish kind of male behavior at work, so it also makes me appreciate him more.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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    Default Re:Has your job ever affected your feeling toward your SO?

    it hasn&#039;t afftected me to much being the my SO is female...i started with female and was with to males one in which is my sons fater...I am single now but when i was in a relationship my lady was more concerned with me going to work than with my dancing . I would have to say that my dancing for men has not changed anything..


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