View Poll Results: When being turned down for a position with a club, do you prefer

Voters
46. You may not vote on this poll
  • Tell me the truth, I can handle it

    13 28.26%
  • A few pointers on how I can improve would be great

    23 50.00%
  • A simple, "No thank you" works for me

    1 2.17%
  • Tell me you're just not hiring

    4 8.70%
  • Tell me I'm not what your looking for

    4 8.70%
  • Tell me to come back some other time

    0 0%
  • other

    1 2.17%
  • 0 0%
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Thread: Sugar coated or straight up?

  1. #1
    Newbie DivaManager's Avatar
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    Default Sugar coated or straight up?

    As the GM of our club I have to turn a few women away that do not meet the criteria
    of our establishment. It's not a fun part of my job but it is one of the reasons
    I am paid to do what I do. This leads to the question:


  2. #2
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    So are you the manager of Divas?

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    That's what I was thinking



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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I would rather be told what needs improvement than "we're not hiring right now".
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

  5. #5
    Newbie DivaManager's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=27;threadid=11088;start=msg138979#msg13 8979 date=1090013765
    So are you the manager of Divas?
    As in a club named "Diva's"?
    If that's what you meant, no I do not manage a club named "Diva's"

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    It's better to know what needs "tweeking". That way, I can improve upon whatever it is needs to be improved upon.

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I have never been turned down before, so I think it would depend exactly what was wrong with the person. If they are extremely overweight or just plain trashy and ugly..... some of that can be hurtful. If the girl actually could be "tuned up" and in your honest opinion could truly improve to be considered for employment...that's another...if she only needs to get more experience or just get more suitable outfits then the "tell me what I can do approach would work best. Otherwise just tell them they aren't the type of girl that your club hires. Be honest , but not brutally honest.

  8. #8
    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Straight up, but not bitchy nor harsh tone. Stay professional, giving pointers is always a nicer way on letting people know what's up. Instead of "you're too fat" , try suggesting a gym to tone up.
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


  9. #9
    Senior Member Va Va Voom's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    if you were rejecting ME even if you try to say "you are too fat" in a way you THINK is nicer like suggesting i go to the gym im still going to leave thinking, "i wasnt hired because i was too fat" but if i am rejected by a club and they make up some lame excuse im going to be insulted by their dishonesty - which is worse than the truth.

  10. #10
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I'd rather be told how I can improve. Tact is key here. Some girls may need alot more improvement than others, but no matter what she looks like, be professional and tactful. Saying things like she needs to slim down / tone up or polish her makeup/hairstyle/whatever is much better than saying she's "just not the right type" IMO.

    And don't tell me you're not hiring and that I should "come back next week". Just tell me that I don't fit and what I need to improve and I'll work on it!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member ToriBaltimore's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    honesty without an attitude....
    no one wants to be lied to
    just tell me how it is ....that way it wont waste my time or theirs...



  12. #12
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I'm with Bridgette. If you tell me to come back next week and you don't mean it... I most likely will (if I really want to work at that club). Also telling me you're not hiring will hurt (esp. me because I'm not a newbie anymore and have friends nearly at every local club here) because I will know you are hiring.

    Tact and Diplomacy (sp?) are the key. Be truthful but not brutally honest. Even if I do inter-pret what you say negatively (even tho' it is constructive critism)... at least you weren't dishonest with me. Try and have some integrity.

    A good way of saying what you need to say to someone you're rejecting is to start off positively (what they did do right) then tell them their weaknesses (what needs improving) and re-iterate what they did right again.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  13. #13
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    If you're not gonna hire a girl, tell her either that you aren't hiring right now or something that's equally as neutral. Maybe some say that constructive criticism is good, but 90% of the time the girl will be deeply hurt by a comment like "loose some weight and come back."

    I say that the simplest and shortest explanation is best to avoid negative feelings from the girl directed at you (or your club). If a girl goes to enough clubs and gets rejected, chances are that she already knows why. Whether its her weight or her appearance, it will (may) kick her into shape and future improvements may make her the best looking woman in the club. When I was rejected from several clubs in a row, I was hurt emotionally, but I would have been a whole lot worse if the managers had blamed it on the fact that I was too heavey. I lost some weight and came back a couple months later and one club that wouldn't hire me to begin with put my pictures on ads for the club.

  14. #14
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I definitely say not to sugar-coat things. Be polite about it, but tell her what she can work on. If you give her a generic answer like "Oh, we're not hiring right now", or "We'll call you.", she won't know what she could improve on.

    The girls also need to be able to take some constructive criticism. If they can't take it before they got hired, they damn sure won't be able to take it after they get hired (from the customers, other girls, etc..)

    So in short, yes.. I think you should be straight-forward. Let her know what she can work on, in a polite and tactful way, of course.

  15. #15
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I was not hired once. The manager said, "you're not what we're looking for right now." I asked what he was looking for and he said that I didn't do enough floor work, and that I was a little heavier than he liked. I appreciated his honesty.

    At another club, I auditioned and was told, well, we have too many girls right now, but if you can get ten lapdances in the next hour you're hired. They hired me and sent another girl home. It seems harsh, but I liked it.

    Lena



  16. #16
    Featured Member The_Kid's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    As an employer, if you have any concern for the person you're turning down, you'll tell them the TRUTH- diplomatically and in a positive way. Instead of saying
    "you're too fat" or even " you could stand to lose a
    few pounds" I would say something like : "Dancing today is very competitive and you should want to give yourself every advantage, every edge you can and
    that means looking as well as you possibly can. In your
    case I think you'd really gain from a better diet and
    more cardio. Why don't you give it a try and come back
    and see us in a month or two."

  17. #17
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Kid, that's great but I'm pretty sure most SC managers can't hold a continuous thought long enough to say all that. Gotta keep their sentences to 5 words or less.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  18. #18
    Featured Member The_Kid's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Brigitte- Not necessarily. In fact the larger, more
    upscale clubs consider themselves to be in the "people
    business" and are often run by intelligent and articulate people. I knew and spoke with Michael J. Peter ; Stringfellow and one or two others many times. They were all bright , articulate and had good social skills.

  19. #19
    Newbie DivaManager's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=27;threadid=11088;start=msg139438#msg13 9438 date=1090093391
    Kid, that's great but I'm pretty sure most SC managers can't hold a continuous thought long enough to say all that. Gotta keep their sentences to 5 words or less.
    Yuck yuck...yuppers....we dunt got us much of an edumacation.

  20. #20
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Michael J and Stringfellow are owners, not managers. Of course they are bright and articulate they started multi million dollar clubs. Michael J didnt do it all to well though because he spent many years in prision for money laundering among other things and hid name cant be associated at all with Thee Doll House anymore. A little off subject but since I worked for the Doll house chain for many years and have mey michael j myself as he was still part owner when I was there I thought I would comment on kids remark.

  21. #21
    Featured Member The_Kid's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Michele- YEAH, but the owners HIRE the mgr. and since
    in the exmples I cited the mgrs. dealt with both
    customers AND dancers their social skills were pretty good.
    BTW- I forget , how many years did Michael have to do?

  22. #22
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Kid, Iam not sure I think it was a couple of years. Michaels choices for managers havent always been that great in my opinion but in florida its hard to find quality managers running the clubs. Michael is still in the business though. I believe he is now affiliated with spearmint rhino. Not sure though last time I saw him was in DH many years ago.

  23. #23
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    Truth is usually the best way to approach this situation... a few pointers of what the dancer could improve upon would be great help in perfecting her look and style. If you treat your employees with the respect you expect from them, most are more than happy to comply.

  24. #24
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    OMG guys it was a joke. No need to get so bent out of shape about it. BUT, I still say that MOST stripclub managers are dumb as rocks. When I think back on all the clubs I've worked and all the managers I've worked with, very FEW were operating on a full load. But of course upscale club managers (and those in certain smaller, well-run clubs) are an exception, those guys tend to be smarter than your average manager flunkie.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:Sugar coated or straight up?

    I may have skewed the poll. I didnt mean for them to say 'you're too fat" but I meant, they could say, "You arent what we are looking for" or "you dont have a certain look" or whatever the case may be. I'd rather it be honest.

    For example, if I dont get hired atthe next place, and wont no matter how hard I work out, etc...I'd prefer them to tell me, rather than tell me how I can improve (because if theres no chance, why give me hope) ?

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