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Thread: Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I hate it when someone or some thing throws a wrench into a decision I already made.

    As some of you know, I came back to dancing after losing a job I had.. well, I have been kicking around ideas, and I have even invested some of my savings into real estate so that I can secure my future, but my knees aren't getting any better and neither is my bursistus or the arthritis I currently have in my joints.

    So, about a month ago, I answered an ad from a law firm looking for a case assistant. The firm practices injury law and worker's comp law cases. I have an extensive Human Resource background and I thought What the heck, I'll apply...

    After I applied, a regular of another dancer and I were talking (I have never danced for him ever, and I found out that I used to date his cousin when I was in high school- yeah, Idaho is a smalll world).. so he and I are talking and I mention that I applied for this position at this firm and I had an interview. He pipes up and says, "Did you know that I am an attorney as well, and I work in Employment law?" Then, he suggests that I send him my resume and he will help me fine tune it. I do so and he tells me that he is impressed with my background etc...

    So , I interview at this other firm and they call me back for a second interview and I need to provide references and I run into him at the club again and he starts asking me about my job search.

    We start chatting and he tells me to use him as a reference- no mention of what I am currently doing (we made a pact and promise that we would not use the club in regards to how we knew eachother, but instead use the small world tactics of me dating a member of his family a long time ago).

    This was three weeks ago.

    To make a long story short, he gave me an incredible reference. The morning that I am suppose to go into the law firm that I orginially applied for to have a round table interview, his (the regular customer) office manager calls me and asks me if I would be interested in a case manager position with their firm and we set up a job interview.

    Long story short:

    I got both jobs. I'm not sure which one to take. I want to take the one with the regular customer because he practices a form of law that I am very familiar with because of my HR background, but I am also nervous to do so because of what I have been doing and he used to bring clients in. I have to quit the club if I take that job because they have a strict no moonlighting policy- I have no issue with that anyways, because once I decide which one to take, I'm retiring.

    On the other hand, I'd like the other one too because I essentially got it on my own- but he forwarded my resume to the office manager who essentially decides who has experience, and who doesn't and he wants me on his team at his firm.

    I ran into the regular at the club on Thursday and he told me to turn the other firm down.

    I'm just confused. I hate making these decisions. I Just don't want to make the wrong decision and be stuck looking again.

    Pay- well, they both pay around the same, and the benefits are around the same as well.

    I have to make a decision by tomorrow.

    Either way, I am retiring in two weeks, my body just can't take this anymore...

    SO..... input?


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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Congrats on the job offers, that's no easy task in this job market.

    My , do with it what you will, sounds like your instincts are telling you to take the offer you got on your own, that's probably the one I'd take too. Plus it gives you the opportunity to moonlight if you wanted to, plus I'm guessing you'd have less uncomfortable moments with the customer/friend/reference or clients who would know you from the club.

    Good luck whatever you choose.

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Gynger.

    The only advise I can give, is take the job that sounds and FEELS right for you. I ran into a similiar situation when I started working in the Electronics field, but I can now say that I believe I made the right decision.

    Good luck at which ever one feels right for you.
    I've heard that a good signiture sets you apart from everyone.
    Well......is this good enough???

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    You have an inner voice for a reason. Listen to it.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Senior Member RCJ's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Take the one you found! I would be concerned about ulterior motives on the part of the guy you met at the club. Incidentally is he a partner or an employee?
    Just here to live and learn.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=1;threadid=11391;start=msg143847#msg143 847 date=1090795185
    You have an inner voice for a reason. Listen to it.
    How do you get one of those?

    I'd take the one you got on your own, Gynger. It, assuming all else is equal, is probably the one you'll be most comfortable with in the long run.

    Sorry about the knees and itises. Sucks to start falling apart young.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Quote Originally Posted by RCJ link=board=1;threadid=11391;start=msg143855#msg143 855 date=1090795719
    Take the one you found! I would be concerned about ulterior motives on the part of the guy you met at the club. Incidentally is he a partner or an employee?
    In all honesty, I got them both on my own... I'm not concerned about ulterior motives- why? Well, first of all, he has none- I already had that discussion. He has none because he's been looking for someone for quite a long time, he admitted that he wasn't sure if I was even qualified to apply for the first job I applied for until he saw my resume and my experience and combined background.

    The first firm is VERY conservative. There is no way I could moon light, even if I wanted to, they are very LDS and if they were to find out, I'm sure that things would be uncomfortable.

    In terms of my inner voice, its not telling me either way, I'm just trying to decide, which is the hard part. I don't want to be in a position where I have to explain myself- if I went with the position with the attorney who frequents the club- he already knows what I used to do, and he's got no issue with it. So in the event if someone were to mention it to him, it really wouldn't be that big of a deal.

    You all made good points, I guess I really just have to make the decision on what will be right for me.

    On one hand I think that working for the regular customer would be good, its the form of law I want to get into, and he already knows of my career currently and isn't close minded about it.

    On the other hand, I think about going to the other firm, working in an area I know nothing about and running the risk of them finding out sooner or later.. I don't volunteer information but when confronted I don't lie either.


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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Im also for the " take the job you got on your own", i think you should be entirely dicsonnected with people who are familiar with your club background. Not that it's a bad thing(It takes incredible people to do our job !).... you just never know what people can use against you....especially these men. And y is this guy so eager to tell u to refuse the other job? I would think a professional answer on his part would be the same as "do what you feel will really suit you "=) Good luck hun

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    What? No more spearmint Rhino :cry:



    Congratulations on the job offers! That's truly a major accomplishment.

    In terms of suggestions, as you know, it's really tough which to decide. At first, I was also thinking about this guys ulterior motives. However, contrary to what some people believe, there are still guys out there that are genuine and honest. Maybe this guy is one of them. If that's the case, I would say definitely go for the job at his firm. It sounds like you already have a good rapport with him, and he would be more than happy to "show you the ropes" (noooooo guys... get your head out of the gutter! ).

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    You have an inner voice for a reason. Listen to it.


    How do you get one of those?
    You have to be female, I believe.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I think about going to the other firm, working in an area I know nothing about and running the risk of them finding out sooner or later.. I don't volunteer information but when confronted I don't lie either.
    Your hesitation about taking the 1st job seems based in worries / fears....dancing is about to be a thing of your past. If they ask you about it, it is in the PAST. Don't forget that!

    It sounds like you want to take the job with the customer b/c it feels comfortable. 'Comfortable' is not always a good basis for a decision, especially when it concerns your livelihood. You are about to start a brand new life. I'd go for it 100 percent and take the first job.

    And, by the way, although he may have given you a great recommendation, you owe him nothing for it, and also that's NOT why you got the job. I'm sure you and your experience and your ability to learn new things is more of why you got hired.

    If you take the first job, just tell him it's because you're super interested in learning more about this field of law. (If he doesn't respect your interests, his motives are wrong!) Never let on that you're nervous somebody might find out you were a dancer. That makes you very vulnerable.

    Good luck and congratulations!
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I posted b4 i saw ur second reply, Ginger. Your points were very reasonable and it sounds like you weighed the pro's and cons and they lean toward the job you customer recommended for you. I say go for that one since you are interested in it more

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    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Gynger, I'm not really qualified to advise you of your decision, but I just wanted to wish you luck. Take some time to think about what would be best for you.
    Also, if you want to come dance at Stateline with me before you retire, we'd love to have you!

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Gynger. My vote would be for the one with more potential beyond the job you actually got hired for. That is easy to say because I do not know which one it is and they sound very similar at present.

    Always go for potential in a tie.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I've been late in replying to this. As I understand it, you live in very conservative country. The law firm whose ad you applied for is very conservative, and hired you without the knowledge that you were/are an exotic dancer. It's entirely possible that if your past is discovered, that they will can you in the interest of not offending conservative clients or tarnishing their reputation, potentially leaving you with no job and a bad history on your 'straight job' resume.

    On the other hand the attorney who is also a regular customer knows you are an exotic dancer and offered you a position as case manager anyhow. While his firm might not be as prestigious as the first firm, the type of work offered is EXACTLY what you specialize in. This attorney/regular customer gave you a glowing reference, and will very likely give you another glowing reference if/when you ever leave his firm guaranteeing a glowing history on your "straight" resume. And as much as I don't like mixing business with business i.e. regular customers, it does sound like both of you know where you really stand with each other.

    If you lived in NY or Chicago or LA I would say take the first offer, because the probability of your dancing history coming out plus the law firm needing to maintain an ultra conservative image to the point of firing you would be miniscule (and you might have a chance at legal action against them if they did)

    However, since you live in conservative country, and since you stated that the first law firm is Mormon based, there is a pretty high probability that if your exotic dancing background is discovered that you will get the boot and a black mark without a second thought (and virtually no chance at legal action against them). I vote go with the regular customer's firm under the circumstances.

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Hey Gynger,

    Congratulations. I hope everything works well for you.

    Hope you still hang out here on SW we need your sense of humor.


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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I have no plans on leaving SW...

    Update: After a long sleepless night, I called both places today, and asked for more time and another meeting. I am meeting with one firm tomorrow and one firm on Wednesday and making a final decision on Friday. Both firms were very understanding and very accomodating.

    I just need to go with what feels right and I will know that when I meet them again.

    Thanks for all the input you guys.


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    Veteran Member Ferrari's Avatar
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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll do well!!! Congratulations, girlfriend!
    Like the car, I'm exotic, erotic, and expensive....

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I completely agree with Melonie.

    From reading your posts...it just seemed to me that you would have this "hope they don't find out" worry buried but active with the LDS job. At least with the second job, the guy knows and hasn't judged you on it. I feel that you may very well be more comfortable (and more stable) at the second job.

    Just close your eyes...take a deep breath...and see which job you imagine yourself to be successful at...and comfortable at.

    Good luck, sweetie!! Keep us updated!!

    Love and hugs,
    Venus

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Way to go Gynger!

    I'd say go with the firm that hired you through the guy you met at the club.

    Even though it sounds paranoid, on the off chance that you make an enemy at work and they find out that you danced, it won't go well for you.

    Obviously the choice is yours and we wish you all the best!

    You're in quite an enviable position now!
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default UPDATE: DECISION Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    I'd like to update you all...

    I met with the regular's firm yesterday. I met with the office manager and two other attorney's and the case manager that was leaving.

    As the meeting was beginning to close, the office manager said to me, "I really hope that you consider our firm, you'd fit in perfectly here and we really feel that you are the right candidate for the position".

    After I left, I decided that I had really gotten that position on my own as well, as I had only forwarded my resume to the regular customer to get his professional opinion in regards to my skills and whether I'd be suited for the other position at the other firm. When I started to break it all down, I realized that I should be flattered that he went to all the trouble to get me to apply for the position at his firm...

    So, I have accepted the position at the regular customer's firm. I accepted it last night. I also decided to start sooner than I originally planned.

    I am taking all of next week off, and begin working the following week. My last night is Saturday. I am not telling anyone until an hour before I leave.. my GM already knows.

    I will still be on this board. I love this board. And, I am going to travel to a few places close when I feel the urge to dance- but I'm not going to dance locally anymore.



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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Congrats Gynger!!!

    I'm sure you will do well with this new job, you seem to have everything all worked out. I'm happy to hear you'll be sticking around here, too! I love reading your posts (rants and all!) and have learned so much from you!
    :kiss: k: :kiss:



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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Congrats Gynger - smart move IMHO.

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    WTG, sweetie!!

    You'll do great!!

    Congrats!!

    --Venus

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    Default Re:Two Job Offers- similiar firms... I'm retiring, but confused.

    Congradulations, G. I wish I could get 1 jb offer. (reg.job). I will soon.


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