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Thread: When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

  1. #1
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    lifted from the local SC website (after being lifted from elsewhere)


    From "The Onion", leading internet news source.

    Nothing like high-class business owners opening their mouths


    Strip Club Makes Commitment To Hire More Minorities

    TAMPA, FL—Richard Brainard, owner of Shakerz Gentlemen's Lounge, announced plans Monday to hire more minorities at his Kennedy Boulevard nightspot.

    "We're looking for some Asians, mainly, but I think we could also use two or three Puerto Ricans and a light-skinned black girl," Brainard said. "Man, those Puerto Ricans can dance. Makes you wish you were 22 again, I'll tell you that."

    Brainard said the new hires will help Shakerz better represent his community.

    "We need a lineup that's a little more Tampa," Brainard said. "That means we need more Mexicans. Sometimes it's hard to find one with a decent pair of tits, but that's not going to stop me. We're doing this because it's right, not because it's easy."

    Shakerz has had positive experiences with minority employees in the past, Brainard said.

    "Margarita's a real class act," Brainard said. "And Camero, the black girl we had last year, was sweet as shit. Sure, we had a lot of problems with her not showing up, but it's not because she was black. Skipping out on shifts is a thing chicks from all races try to pull."

    "Except the Dominicans," Brainard added.

    While he's already placed a handwritten "Now Hiring" sign in the women's bathroom, Brainard said he also plans to place an ad in the South Tampa Community Courier announcing the availability of "dancing positions for girls of all nationalities."

    "Sometimes, I let [manager Randy] Toby pick the girls, but this time I'm gonna do it myself," Brainard said. "I'll make sure we get a little more color in the lineup. Now, I'm not gonna refuse to hire a white girl if a hot one comes in. That'd be what they characterize as racism against whites. What's it called? Reverse racism."

    Representatives from several competing exotic-dance clubs said Shakerz's new hiring initiative simply brings the club up to speed with other Tampa establishments.
    "We've had black girls since '92," said Ricky Alvarez, co-owner of Mr. Bo-Jiggles Adult Entertainment & Seafood Bar. "As long as a candidate is qualified, we never discriminate based on race. That said, with Shakerz making moves, we're going to be proactive and get ourselves the skinniest black girl we can find. And also one with a real plump ass and big tits—we don't discriminate based on weight."

    Many Shakerz patrons have expressed excitement about the new equality-minded hiring policy.

    "Damn, we're gonna party when the new girls start," said Trent Billings, a real-estate developer who has lived in Tampa his entire life. "Maybe put up some flags or have some sort of U.N.-style wet-T-shirt contest or something. Or maybe a strip-off, to see which races are best at stripping. Something fun."

    Above: Part of the workforce Brainard hopes to diversify.

    Added Billings: "They do that, I'll be there, and I'll have plenty of dollar bills in my hand. I love women, no matter what color they are. And they love me, too, 'cause I ain't cheap."

    Current Shakerz dancers said they support the affirmative-action measures.

    "Lots of different kinds of guys come in here—everyone from advertising types to truckers—so it makes sense to have a lot of types of girls," said Mandy Flowers, who has been dancing at Shakerz for nearly a year. "Meeting different types of people is one of the benefits of this job. I like working with the Puerto Ricans. They're always down with partying after closing time."

    Informed of the initiative, Florida Equal Opportunity Employment Commission spokesman Arthur Wright applauded Shakerz for "promoting racial equality throughout the adult industries of central Florida."

    "We fully support Brainard's diversification efforts," Wright said. "Finally, someone is recognizing that it takes all kinds to entertain a broad cross-section of lonely, horny men with specific ethnicity-based fantasies. The interests of business and society can be one and the same."

    In a move likely to please Wright, the owner of another area small business has already chosen to emulate Brainard's plan of action.

    "We have a pretty good mix—customers are always asking for Latin girls and Asians—but now that I think about it, I guess we could use a couple new girls of color," Night Dreams Escorts manager Tony D'Ammagio said. "We're always looking for new girls."


    Personal Favorites:
    Quote #1 - "Man, those Puerto Ricans can dance. Makes you wish you were 22 again, I'll tell you that."

    Quote #2 - "That means we need more Mexicans. Sometimes it's hard to find one with a decent pair of tits, but that's not going to stop me. We're doing this because it's right, not because it's easy."

    Quote #3 - "And Camero, the black girl we had last year, was sweet as shit. Sure, we had a lot of problems with her not showing up, but it's not because she was black. Skipping out on shifts is a thing chicks from all races try to pull."
    "Except the Dominicans," Brainard added.

    Quote #4 - "Finally, someone is recognizing that it takes all kinds to entertain a broad cross-section of lonely, horny men with specific ethnicity-based fantasies. The interests of business and society can be one and the same."

    S.C. Name - "Mr. Bo-Jiggles Adult Entertainment & Seafood Bar"
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  2. #2
    Senior Member Illuminata's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    Just so everyone knows, the Onion is a satirical publication. None of their stories are true. Quite amusing, though.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    It still makes an interesting read though.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    I love The Onion. Some of their publications are a riot. They have published a few books also one of which I have titled "Our Stupid Century" which has some truly brilliant writing in it. It's all headlines of famous events throughout the last 100 years. My favorite is they show a newspaper headline with a picture of the Titanic where the headline says, "World's Largest Metaphor Hits Ice-berg!" or another headline Martin Luther King: "I Had a Really Weird Dream Last Night"

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    I LOVE the onion.. I have it saved as one of my favorites.


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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    Onion rawks! DW, the family gave me "Our Dumb Century" and "Dispatches from the Tenth Circle" for different christmas presents. Heheh, my mom brought the one article "8-pound man found in woman's vagina" into her OB nurses' unit awhile back. heehee.
    "I still have my name
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  7. #7
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    Hahaha! Read it on the Onion yesterday but was a bit afraid to post it for fear of negative reaction. Its funny and so sad at the same time because there is a bit too much truth in it

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    The Onion rocks. I usually browse the website, however I think I'm going to have get "Our Dumb Century"!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Maiden link=board=27;threadid=11500;start=msg146381#msg14 6381 date=1091179528
    "8-pound man found in woman's vagina" into her OB nurses' unit awhile back. heehee.


    I forgot about that one!

  9. #9
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    gosh damn I thought it was REAL, and was thinking WTF?? at the same time. Katrine yeah your right there are some truths in it. *shakes head*
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

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    Default Re: When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    That's the mos racist nonsense i have ever read what kind of truth could ayone ever see in this crap

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    Default Re: When Strip Club Owners Are Allowed to Talk

    This thread is 3 years old and I am closing it.

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