Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Great Bits of Wisdom

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Monkey Land
    Posts
    4,794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Great Bits of Wisdom

    GREAT BITS OF WISDOM IN OUR TIME

    (1) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
    * Steven Seagal

    (2) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked >into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
    * Jeff Foxworthy

    (4) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
    * Dave Barry

    (5) "What do people mean when they say the computer >went down on them?"
    * Marilyn Pittman

    (6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
    * Bob Ettinger

    (7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
    * Paula Poundstone

    ( "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "duh."
    * Conan O'Brien

    (9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my Goodness I could be eating a slow
    learner."
    * Lynda Montgomery

    (10) "The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner."
    * Roseanne

    (11) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
    * Richard Jeni

    (12) "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
    * Johnny Carson

    (13) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
    * Paul Rodriguez

    (14) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law."
    * Jerry Seinfeld

    (15) "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
    * Warren Hutcherson

    (16) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
    * Oscar Wilde

    (17) "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
    * Mae West

    (1 "Suppose you were an idiot . . . And suppose you were a member of Congress . . . But I repeat myself."
    * Mark Twain

    (19) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
    * A. Whitney Brown

    (23) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"
    * Dave Barry

    (24) "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
    * George Carlin

    (25) "When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car."
    * Author Unknown

    (26) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"

    (27) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support
    group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    I love it!LOL!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    Heh.. Those are great, Mojo!

    Of course, you know which one I spotted right away?

    Yep...

    ( "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "duh."
    * Conan O'Brien


    Me-ow!

  4. #4
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    Hey Rhi,you like red-heads?Bobby Flay on the Food Network is one hot red-head also!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  5. #5
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    LOL Normally, I like the Dark hair, Dark eyes.. But, I fell in lust with Conan the second his show premiered.. lol

    Can you imagine what our kids would look like? LOL.. Damn.. We'd have albinos with flourescent red hair..

    But.. They'd be tall.. Very tall.. heh

    ::sigh::

  6. #6
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    HAHA!That would be hilarious!!!LOL!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  7. #7
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    LOL Next on Conan:

    Rhi & Conan.. "If They Mated"


  8. #8
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    That is one seriuously disturbingly funny segment he has on his show?Are you tall also?
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  9. #9
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest link=board=1;threadid=11533;start=msg147006#msg147 006 date=1091264355
    That is one seriuously disturbingly funny segment he has on his show?Are you tall also?
    LOL Unfortunately I'm way short. He'd have to be responsible for making the kids tall..

    I'm 5'3.. He's 6'4.. Eek!

    (Sorry for jacking the thread Mojo.. lol)

  10. #10
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Hurricane Wasteland,Louisiana
    Posts
    8,088
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 19 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    Sorry too Mojo.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  11. #11
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Monkey Land
    Posts
    4,794
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re:Great Bits of Wisdom

    Yeah? What the fuck is up with you two having your own little chat session, HUH???

    I'm kidding....what's the point of the post? To provide some amusement and get people talking...about anything. Granted, Rhi....reading about your infatuous obsession with CO doesn't exactly trip my trigger...but more power to ya, babe.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

Similar Threads

  1. Pictures of your Pierced Naughty Bits
    By hockeybobby in forum General Board
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08-10-2008, 12:17 AM
  2. wisdom teeth
    By Darcy Foxx in forum Body Business
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-01-2006, 05:55 PM
  3. wisdom tooth
    By greenidlady1 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-17-2006, 08:14 PM
  4. Check out my ebay auction! Great shoes at a great price.
    By Nichole in forum For Sale & Wanted
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-10-2004, 08:21 AM
  5. Wisdom teeth...
    By Giselle666 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 05-27-2004, 08:34 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •