The Asshole Bill of Rights
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As an ASSHOLE, I proclaim the following:
I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political correctness.
If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow.
I have the right to hang up on telemarketers midsentence and not have to worry about whether or not I was polite.
If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell him, "You're an idiot."
If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up.
If you are not going to like the answer, do not ask me the question.
You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you.
Before you tell me how to run my life, be certain that your own is squeaky clean.
Speaking of Blockbuster, if I don't return the tape right away, you do not have to actually sue me for $15!!
It's ignorant to charge someone $25 if they bounce a check for $5. If I didn't have the $5, what makes you think I'm going to have $25 you retards!!
If you don't like the way I drive then at the next red light get out from under my car.
If your dog or cat is so smart, then why do you talk to it like it's a newborn baby?
If I shoot you while you're committing a crime, and you try to sue me for it, I'll shoot you again.
Courtesy of Ben Franklin: Anyone who would give up freedoms and liberties for temporary security deserves neither freedom or security.
If you live in Tornado Alley, don't whine when you get hit by a tornado.



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