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Thread: Checkin' you out!!

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    Member Celeste24's Avatar
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    Default Checkin' you out!!

    I think Im getting bitter. I have an overwhelming urge to punch something or someone when a guy(s) checks me out on the street; you know, when you feel devoured by their eyes?! Maybe I just notice it more now that I started dancing, but its really getting on my nerves, I feel like they are stealing my energy!! And it doesnt matter how old they are either, I want to punch all of them when it happens. But the weird part is, I love men, I get along better with men than women and I love getting that kind of attention in the SC. I guess because it means: "ker-ching!!!" Is this a dancing hazard? Or is it just me? ???
    The first idea is always the best idea.

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Some guys will try to size up a woman by making a rude remark. That is something that I learned about that rapists will do to see if you will be an easy target. I don't know how obnoxious these guys were, but it's something to think about. No one likes to be sexually harrassed by anyone, especially a complete stranger.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Do you get pissed if guys check you out in a bar or regular club? You say you dont mind being visually "devoured" at SC's, presumably because the men are either paying you at that moment or you believe you will be able to extract payment from them at some point. Maybe youve gotten to where if anyone looks at you without simulaneously handing over money, you feel insulted. Kind of like when a doctor gets asked medical questions in a social situation.

    Just curious.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Celeste24 link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg147612#msg14 7612 date=1091397113
    I think Im getting bitter. I have an overwhelming urge to punch something or someone when a guy(s) checks me out on the street; you know, when you feel devoured by their eyes?! Maybe I just notice it more now that I started dancing, but its really getting on my nerves, I feel like they are stealing my energy!! And it doesnt matter how old they are either, I want to punch all of them when it happens. But the weird part is, I love men, I get along better with men than women and I love getting that kind of attention in the SC. I guess because it means: "ker-ching!!!" Is this a dancing hazard? Or is it just me? ???
    I know how you feel..and I was just thinking the same thing. I just got back from Target; had to get a new blender.( I think I've been making too many protein shakes-I broke my blender!!) I'm all sucked dry---I got devoured by the eyes!!!! and now I'm exhausted..

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    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Celeste24,

    So funny you brought this up. This type of male behavior is partly why I started dancing in the first place. I figured, if I'm giong to be subjected to this B.S. I may as well get paid for it!!
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Queen link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg147656#msg14 7656 date=1091407258
    Celeste24,

    So funny you brought this up. This type of male behavior is partly why I started dancing in the first place. I figured, if I'm giong to be subjected to this B.S. I may as well get paid for it!!
    Hehe that's funny, that's exactly why I want to dance.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Several girls i know dress down without makeup in baggy clothes and pony tails just to minimize unwanted attention. If you are hotter looking than the "average" girl it would be difficult for a guy to not look. But looking is different than leering which can be disrespectful and can be harrassing.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    when a guy(s) checks me out on the street
    if I'm giong to be subjected to this B.S.
    Geez...yeah - what bullshit.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Guys leering at you and trying to pick you up on the street IS bullshit. Since you're a guy, it's harder to understand.

    Yesterday I had an older guy follow me down the street while playing the guitar and singing for me. It's funny in retrospect, but as a woman who deeply fears being assaulted and harrassed, it was very uncomfortable and even a little scary. I think all women should be able to walk down the street wearing WHATEVER they want (not having to cover their bodies in baggy clothing) and not get catcalled or propositioned.

    When someone is dancing, it is different. It is their job, looking is encouraged. They are presenting themselves as a beautiful fantasy to be beheld, and they make good money off of it. When someone is walking down the street, their body is NOT public property, and no one has the right to harrass them.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Since I cannot help how someone reacts to my radiant beauty ( ), I just ignore them. It does get annoying when some guy just stares at you drooling, but you don't have to be so negative about it. Just acknowledge that that person finds you attractive and move on. You cannot help how they express that...but you can help your response to it. If you respond in a positive way (without encouraging the behavior) then you will most likely find that your energy is not being "stolen". Another thing to note...no one can take what you do not give them.

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    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg147743#msg14 7743 date=1091418040
    when a guy(s) checks me out on the street
    if I'm giong to be subjected to this B.S.
    Geez...yeah - what bullshit.
    I'll tell you what I consider to be bullshit!

    I don't go to certain nightclubs b/c guys I don't know will grab my ass, touch my breasts, or between my legs. I believe that's called ASSAULT!!!
    Males who pull the "damn baby, you fuckin?" or if I ignore them they yell out "fuck you bitch!"
    The ones who get offensive or say rude comments when they find out I'm not interested in them.
    Once, at a nightclub, I had a guy proceed to curse me out b/c I wouldn't give my number...
    Men who think it's a good idea to pull my arm as I pass them by.
    Little boys who follow me around the mall making comments about my body or trying to hook up with me b/c they think I'm their age, then turn in the asshole with no home training when they get turned down.
    I've had guys try to jump in my car!
    Being followed by some psychofreakyjason.
    Guys who think it's okay to be completely rude to me at first glance, again based on my looks and their idiot idea that I "think I'm all that" whatever that means...
    Guys who live by the theory that pretty=stupid
    Guys who refer to women as bitches, but can't take being called the same
    Woman beaters
    Humiliators
    All around haters

    I've had experience with each one on the list. Yes, it is BULLSHIT. Welcome to the real world.
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Whooooa whoa whoa...hang on. The statement was "when a guy checks me out on the street" - not "when a guy follows me, stalks me, says "Hey baby how about a blow", touches me uninvited..." etc.

    I took the original statement from Celeste to be referring to anyone who even looked at her in admiration.

    Let me make it clear that I see a tremendous difference and agree with you entirely that it is unacceptable behavior to put a woman in the position of feeling violated, even in space.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Wow Ice Queen... Thats exactly what I hate!

    I was being "followed" once and these guys were catcalling. I pretended not to hear them, and then the little wise ass said "Conceited bitch".

    I hate guys like this. So to avoid any probs, I usually just smile (more like a grin) and walk away.
    grrrr

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    FBR....we cant even imagine what its like to be these women...even the innocent "complimenting looks" cant get tiring....

    I know I have seen it alot.

    A great place to watch this happen is at a nude beach. its funny watching who looks...who stares...who is disrespectful...etc.... Plus I get a little of the women's perspective, b/c there is a huge # of gay men there and I get stared at constantly(do I look gay?). It is kind of annoying...but I dont mind...i just take it as a compliment. Look at me and say what you want to me...it means nothing to me. I could care less what anyone does or says.

    Honestly I feelfor the women who are strong enough to deal with it all and ignore all the morons.

    I know my ex used to get this happening to her so many times and so disrespectuflly....it even happened when i was around her too....lucky she was smart enough to keep me from getting disturbed by it too(im a lover not a fighter...i dont need to get my ass kicked that often).....the interracial thing didnt help with the comments either, but thats another story for another day...LOL..oh well

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    Member Celeste24's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Just to make it clear, I know the difference between an appreciative polite check out, a nice smile and downright "i wanna do things to you" staring. It's weird because, before, I did'nt notice those looks as much; I think the reason is that I've gotten so used to looking for that attention at work, that it just stays with me when I'm not working. I'm open to meeting guys, I'm single and looking but i find that a lot of them are crossing the line between polite checkin' out and eye molestation. Ice Queen and Lexi, I know what you mean by guys calling you a bitch whne you dont return their attention. Once I was with my friend, it was 3am on the street , there was ppl walking out of the clubs everywhere, some guy walks up to us with a big smile and asked us if we could answer his question. Being a little tipsy and willing to answer what seemed like a funny question I said yes and he asked me: "How much do you think I can benchpress?" . I was so disapointed and annoyed by this stupid question that I told him "Like I give a shit!!" and he totally flipped on me; started calling me a bitch, that he was gonna punch my face in, that I better run mother****** etc, etc. Im sure some of you will say I should've ignored him in the first place, but I dont want to ingore every guy I see, Im a social person. Anyways, glad Im not this insecure, disturbed guy's girlfriend!!!!
    The first idea is always the best idea.

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    I get so focused on what I'm doing, I tend to ignore that kind of thing. But if a man is disrespectful, I will call him on it. Otherwise they take it as, 'oh, it's okay to be a jerk'.

    On average though, most people are so focused on their own lives that they are probably not thinking of you as much as you might think. Try not to let it ruin your day!
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Celeste - I constantly hear about those things happening. We're not all that way....but for those of us who are not...you will often find that we are the ones saying "Nice guys finish last." Did you see Average Joe? Did you see Average Joe II? I'm not complaining, and I sure as Hell do not condone rude behavior. But the shy nice guys of the world want to know what to do
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg148141#msg14 8141 date=1091483057
    Celeste - I constantly hear about those things happening. We're not all that way....but for those of us who are not...you will often find that we are the ones saying "Nice guys finish last." Did you see Average Joe? Did you see Average Joe II? I'm not complaining, and I sure as Hell do not condone rude behavior. But the shy nice guys of the world want to know what to do
    I'll drink to that.

    Its hard for some of us to stay "nice" when too many gals let the leering, drooling, rude ass jerks win. If women really want to deter such negative behavior in men, they should give negative reinforcement to those doing it, and just the opposite to those men who are trying their darndest to be respectful.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Member Brule's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    i just hate when i go to a dance club after work and guys want to dance with me. that is the last thing i want, unless he is cute. i go there to unwind and party with my friends, not to dance with guys.

    i also hate walking down certain streets in vegas, bc you will get honked at or catcall like your a hooker. just bc the girl ahead of me is doesn't mean im one (j/k)

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    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg148141#msg14 8141 date=1091483057
    But the shy nice guys of the world want to know what to do
    Just keep being your nice selves...nice guys get nice girls! Just because the jerks are out there dosen't mean nice guys have less of a chance!

    How's the saying go?... you'll probably kiss a few toads before you meet your prince/princess!
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg148141#msg14 8141 date=1091483057
    Celeste - I constantly hear about those things happening. We're not all that way....but for those of us who are not...you will often find that we are the ones saying "Nice guys finish last." Did you see Average Joe? Did you see Average Joe II? I'm not complaining, and I sure as Hell do not condone rude behavior. But the shy nice guys of the world want to know what to do
    I think that you can be mildly aggressive . No girl wants a prude. So I do understand the plight of the "nicer guyz" . I think finding a balance between staying respectful and not becoming downright annoyingly rude would be the best bet. LoL. Hmmmmmm....maybe we should start a thread just for this!

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY link=board=27;threadid=11609;start=msg147940#msg14 7940 date=1091459606
    FBR....we cant even imagine what its like to be these women...even the innocent "complimenting looks" cant get tiring....
    Ain youre right I cant imagine nor do I want to.

    Lets look at it from another angle. Ain you are a young, good looking guy. Would you freak out if some hot young lady checked you out? If you did I would wonder about you as would 99% of the female posters here. So whats the big woo? Celeste, in her original post, only mentioned guys checking her out in a normal social context. She didnt respond to my post about being admired at a bar nor did any of the other ladies. Somehow, a check out turned into some stalking perv thing which had nothing to do with the original post.

    Its too bad that the stripper business all to often hardens a woman into being offended by an admiring glance unless it is accompanied by a tip. Im not faulting the ladies...many businesses callous you. I own a sales company and lord knows Ive learned that what people say often has no bearing on what they really feel or intend to do. To say its a wake up call is an understatement. Its just unfortunate that it has to be that way.

    Just my 2 cents.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Awww,

    Did you guys get all uncomfortable b/c I broke the fantasy that all women want to be constantly put on a pedestal?

    Well I'm sorry, but in order to understand why a woman would not want so much attention, you HAVE to look at both sides of the story. What I said my be hard to read, but it's true... and it all starts with the so called "admiring glance".

    We're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy, and in today's society more often that not, "admiring glances" have intent behind them. The intent my be respectful and genuine, or they may be wolf eyes on the lookout for the next sheep to victimize.

    For the record, I didn't start stripping until after I had many of these expierences. Also for the record this behavior goes BOTH ways.

    It's not the man... it's the nature of the man that dictates wether the situation becomes offensive.

    I'm not so naive to be flattered just because a man is all googly eyed at me. I'm not so jaded to dismiss any man I come accross in normal situations because he's not offering me money.
    It takes alot more than one sided attraction to pique my intrest... how about some personality, intellect and stimulating conversation?
    Instead of looking at me, why not walk up and start a conversation? I AM actually a person ya know...

    Any guy in a social situation (not the SC) who admires me from afar won't get very far... but if he is man enough to approach me with genuine intrest and conversation, he's on his way to meeting someone new!

    I guess the frustration comes from knowing myself as a person and knowing my worth and knowing the value of sincerity.
    Making eyes at me is not sincere, why should I settle for that?

    There are billions of individuals in the world, I'd like to be treated as an individual, wouldn't you?
    Checking me out is so played, it's like window shopping and I'm not a puppy in the window... I would enjoy it if I were an inexperienced child, but as a full grown woman, I prefer a man to act like a man and address me respectfully, the same way I would address him.

    Goodness knows that if I see a man who I'd like to "check out" I'm going to approach him and strike up a conversation. That's the only way he'll know I'm interested and it's the only way I'll know if the attraction is more than physical.

    Let's not get the two worlds mixed up here, SCs are not the same as reality and people are not so perfect that you can expect them to be happy with any old thing they come across. So why waste time looking and jumping to conclusions about if they should like it or not. That's for kids and people with no expierence in relating to the opposite sex or people in general for that matter.

    Nobody should have taken offense the the truth, but if you did, perhaps you'll never understand the plight of a woman (and I dont expect you to) until you've expierenced similar situations.

    Most women take the time to make themselves attractive because they want to ATTRACT someone, not to be treated as a novelty, looked at scrutinized and cast aside... can you understand the frustration involved with that?

    On the flipside, if a woman were to say "I love to have men look at me all the time, but I don't like them to talk to me or show intrest" I would think that is pure vanity.
    Humans need human interaction, let's save the novelty for SCs and television...
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    Ice Queen LOL Ok you win

    If I should ever run across you in a social situation I promise not to check out your shit. Being the fuckin neanderthal that I am I didnt realize a quick approving glance of your attractiveness constituted something fucked up.

    Damn I yearn for the good old days when a man could appreciate a womans beauty without being accused of being a perv

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Checkin' you out!!

    I miss those good ol' days too.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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