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Thread: Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

  1. #1
    madmaxine
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    Default Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    In Romance- a thread on here got me thinking of strategies men use to pursue women, and the kind of man a woman chooses to be with. I prefer the nice guy because my dad is a nice guy and yeah, most women go for someone who reminds them of their dad. Ironically, my stripping job has branded me as a "bad girl," so a lot of the sweet guys I date try to steer me away from my work. Tough situation.
    In Life- all the jerkiest people I know have excelled in their chosen fields, but I have seen some people who racked up bad karma get it kicked back to them three or four- fold. So they end up back where they started or further behind.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Yeah,that is how it usually works.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Needy guys finish last; nice guys do okay.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    guys who are genuinely nice are very much appreciated by me

    he can still have an opinion that differs than mine and a life of his own, but still nice, considerate, respectful and trustworthy. It's so rare that I really go nuts for it when I see it.

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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Being the Nice guy,

    Yes, we do seem finish last... Girls that love chaos get bored with us very quickly, but once they learn to change their dating habits to nice guy after dealing with Mr. A-holes B.S. to much then Mr. Nice guy has his day.

    Rule of thumb with this as a nice guy is if your the first "nice guy" a women has dated:

    1. She will get bored with you and go back to Mr. A-hole.

    2. She will usually cheat on you with Mr. A-hole too, and marrige won't stop it either.

    Rule of Thumb pt. 2 once Ms. Chaos bringer realizes the lost benefits she's had with Mr. Nice guy after dating a few aholes after her first relationship with Mr. Nice guy that she got bored with, she will go out and find another "Nice Guy" and have real relationship with him.

    AKA: You don't know what you've got until, it's gone rule.

    As for your problem Maxine, I think you like "Fixers". These are men people who like having someone with problems to fix, and when you don't respond to their fix, or do not have enough problems for them to fix--they get really mad at you and then leave because they can't fix you and go looking for another project. I have a friend like that and he got mad at me for not wanting to be fixed.

    It's a form of codependency.

    My best guess is that beneath your bad girl stripper image, you are actually relatively sane, and stable. Once, Mr. Fixer can't find anything to save you from, he then homes in on dancing as the problem that needs to be "fixed". After you refuse to give up your income and Mr. Fixer can't persaude you to change he then moves on to another "project" for him to save thus ending the relationship.

    This problem can work to your advantage too, if you want to get rid of a "fixer" your dating, introduce him to a friend or aquanttance who is a "needy project" He will definately leave you for his new chance at "fixing" a complex challange.

    I'm guessing that maybe your mom had drug, alcohol, or mental health issues that your dad had to constantly fix--which is why your attracted to "Fixers"


    BTW I'm curious where do you go out and find nice guys?

    Sorry i'm rambleing but it's late and I need to vent.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Wow,sounds like you're speaking from experience.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    i prefer nice guys myself, but they don't prefer me.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Hi...my name is Mojojojo...and I'm a nice guy...honest.

    Seriously, I've always been the nice guy....but the test of time has proven to be an interesting one. In HS, I was the nice guy that every girl wanted to have...as a friend. Mike will listen...Mike won't judge...Mike also won't get laid. I have never employed a "strategy" but I have noticed that typically (not always) the nice guys are difficult to locate because part of being the nice guy means that we are also not able to openly hit on anyone very well. We will look at the homecoming queen and think "why bother?" But over the course of time, something interesting has happened. I've hit mid-30's and it seems that I am somehow more appealing to a relatively large number of people. Is this how long it takes for someone to decide that a nice guy is there and perhaps something that is desireable?

    Another problem is basic instinct. A female peacock is not going to go for the smallest and least exciting male peacock of the group. There have been many studies about human preferences, and it has been determined that we do our own sort of thing. 5'10" and taller, for example, is a desireable height. Men who are shorter than that actually have a smaller percentage of marriages. (some study I heard this past year...dunno who did it, so take it with a grain of salt).

    But the Average Joe shows truly dismayed me. I have heard so many women say they would much rather have an average kind of guy who was successful and kind than gorgeous chunk of model any day. That's what these women said. In the end, they BOTH chose the beautifully sculpted man that they both admitted was not all that great....didn't trust.... didn't connect with.....and the guy they'd been claiming they were connecting with so well who was a financial success, but not as pretty....got tossed. It was rather disappointing. (yeah...I was rootin' for the home team... GO FREAKS N GEEKS!)

    In the end, I really can't say that nice guys always finish last. My wife kissed a lot of frogs before we hooked up.

    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  9. #9
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Well, of course a nice guy will finish last .... because a nice guy will make sure that the lady finishes first.



    *ahem* ... anyway........

    I've heard comments in life and on these boards from ladies about how they want to have fun with the bad boys but settle down with the nice guys.

    The problem with that is there's plenty of nice guys who like to have fun and have settled down for fun times with their girl in the meantime. And even some nice guys don't like to be looked at as a trade-in.

    I've been accused of being a nice guy (or a wuss, or ass-kisser, or whatever), and yeah, I've had plenty of relationships where I'm the ladies' good friend, or confidant, or big brother. That's fine. I enjoy that, too.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    It's interesting about the kharma thing with the jerky guys... that whole 'bad boy' thing is a curse in disguise. Playing the 'bad boy' yields all the insecure, self-loathing, high maintenance, drama filled and messed up women one could possibly have time for. Sure, there's a lot of sex involved... but it comes at a price that would surely drive any guy to gay and misogyny by middle age.

    It's absolutely true that most women need a little monster in their man. Feminine energy thrives off masculine energy and vice-versa. The guys that "finish last" are usually simply thwarting too much of their natural masculine energy... which there are times when this is needed (friends, women you are trying to help, etc.etc.). But boy, can that be tough sometimes! LOL.

    Nice guys that don't fare well just simply need to let a little bit more testosterone rule their demeanor. There is nothing 'not nice' about true masculine energy. It's powerful, strong, driving, initiating, semi-aggressive and predatory... all things that feel very good to real men. Notice these are all 'knightly' values as well, so they in no way exclude being a 'nice guy'... provided there is appropriateness to when such things are unleashed.

    So yeah.. SHEEPISH guys finish last.. nice guys do pretty okay.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  11. #11
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148489#msg148 489 date=1091530857
    Seriously, I've always been the nice guy....but the test of time has proven to be an interesting one. In HS, I was the nice guy that every girl wanted to have...as a friend. Mike will listen...Mike won't judge...Mike also won't get laid. I have never employed a "strategy" but I have noticed that typically (not always) the nice guys are difficult to locate because part of being the nice guy means that we are also not able to openly hit on anyone very well. We will look at the homecoming queen and think "why bother?" But over the course of time, something interesting has happened. I've hit mid-30's and it seems that I am somehow more appealing to a relatively large number of people. Is this how long it takes for someone to decide that a nice guy is there and perhaps something that is desireable?
    This is pretty accurate for me too....so i only have to wait 10 more years to start getting laid? AWESOME

    We as nice guys will always finish last....its in our nature b/c we put others in front of us.

    Not that im good looking...but im not horrible....and ive seen many more horrible looking guys who are assholes pull a lot more girls than me....and attractive girls at that. And its obvious these guys are assholes and are using these girls, but for some reasn the girls seem to be attracted to it.

    I dont know....nor do I really care that much. I dont go out looking to pick up girls anymore....b/c i know it just wont happen(thats why I let Trix do the work ) and its just not my thing anyway. I just go out to have fun with friends

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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    PC covered a lot of good points.

    Guys again I recommend reading the book:

    The Blank Slate
    The Modern Denial of Human Nature
    by Steven Pinker

    Most of the "nice guys" are having trouble with women because they are confused about what women want. Society and their moms tell them to be nice guys, but women don't respond. Why? Modern society is a relatively new thing on the historical scale. Women respond to millions of of years of evolution... in effect they respond to strong protectors/providers, the kind of man that would thrive in a pre-modern society. That doesn't mean you can't be respectful, or even a kind guy, but you need to show testicular fortitude, be decisive, lead, express some of your caveman side so to speak.

    And I agree regarding the emotionally fucked up guys that attract the high drama, high maintenance women, emotionally fucked up women. Unless you really have what it takes for a never ending roller coaster of out of control emotions, mind games, tests, and irrational conversations, you don't want to go there.




  13. #13
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    A guy can be too nice, set too many limits for a relationship for example and miss out on something that would have been great. He's too damn busy trying to be so damn nice, do things right, he fucks it up in the end.

    So yea nice guys (to an extent) DO finish last.
    Pamela

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    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148497#msg148 497 date=1091534361
    Well, of course a nice guy will finish last .... because a nice guy will make sure that the lady finishes first.
    Whoot!! That's right baby!!! ce:

    But seriously, I prefer to be with a "nice guy" over "bad boys" because that's usually what they (bad boys) are mentally...boys. Give me a laid back, easy going, realistic, no drama havin' nice guy, I'll treat him right!! : : : :
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

  15. #15
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    PC's comment fit in with my personal experience, more or less.

    I settled down with a nice, fun-loving girl whom I adore. But aside from her, man, did I have problems with romance.

    See, I was passive. Once I settled down, and once I started doing business out there, and once I found my self-confidence - well, then things changed, and ladies made advances. By then, of course, it was too late for anything, but I was happy anyway.

    Don't be a passive nice guy. Be a self-confident nice guy.

    ****

    Ice Queen .... heh-heh.

  16. #16
    Featured Member Hottie7268's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by madgrad link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148480#msg148 480 date=1091524367
    Being the Nice guy,

    I'm guessing that maybe your mom had drug, alcohol, or mental health issues that your dad had to constantly fix--which is why your attracted to "Fixers"


    BTW I'm curious where do you go out and find nice guys?
    Whoa! :o

    First off let me just say this..........Just because a woman chooses men who need "fixing", doesn't mean her parents or life or what not is to blame. It's in a woman's nature to want to nurture a man, therefore it shouldn't be looked at as finding "fixers", because when push comes to shove....most men NEED fixing. They need and WANT a chick to baby them, and take care of them, and it's only until recently in society that that's become acceptable for a man to be taken care of by a woman. Men are THE BIGGEST SUCKERS for being taken care of....Unfortunately, it quickly turns into neediness and that is the single most UNATTRACTIVE thing for a man. I hate whiny bitches......

    Also, as far as finding nice guys...........in this day and age it's pretty fucking hard to find one, at least where I'm from. Sure they're there, but they like to hide in the woodwork and watch from a distance and unfortunately they seal their own fate by not piping up and growing the nuts to approach or make themselves available. It's the assholes that make themselves available and that is why we as woman go for them. For lack of better choice!

    Then the "CODEPENDENCY" issue....of course there are women who want that, but most want to be INDEPENDENT. We don't want to be "fixed" anymore than men want it. We don't want a knight in shining armor on a white steed. We want to ride the horse ourselves.

    To assume that most woman will go back to Mr. Asshole and cheat on Mr. Nice Guy is pretty innacurate. I'm speaking for myself when I say this.......Boyfriends are like panties, when one pair has been dirtied, you take it off and put on a new pair. You don't put the dirty pair back on.

    Most woman want a MAN, and just that. They want a solid rock to lean on. They want a partner in crime. We want the guy that's gonna make us feel like a million bucks, and if he's one of the Nice Guys, hell even better. That

    Unfortunately, there are too many ASSHOLES that ruin it for the NICE GUYS. And as a woman looking for that nice guy out there, I have to say it's hard to find that right guy. You Nice Guys need to grow some nuts and stop whining about not getting any action. Try making an attempt once in a while, maybe you'll get some.......

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



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    Featured Member Hottie7268's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148553#msg148 553 date=1091543518


    Don't be a passive nice guy. Be a self-confident nice guy.



    YES YES YES!!!!!!

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



  18. #18
    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Queen link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148544#msg148 544 date=1091542593
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148497#msg148 497 date=1091534361
    Well, of course a nice guy will finish last .... because a nice guy will make sure that the lady finishes first.
    Whoot!! That's right baby!!! ce:

    But seriously, I prefer to be with a "nice guy" over "bad boys" because that's usually what they (bad boys) are mentally...boys. Give me a laid back, easy going, realistic, no drama havin' nice guy, I'll treat him right!! : : : :
    I agree Ice Queen !


  19. #19
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Ladies...take your pick...there are so many single "nice guys here"

    I'll make a list of the available bachelors..

    Nice guys
    1-SgtJohnny
    2-Need I really go on?

  20. #20
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by Prina link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148569#msg148 569 date=1091546489
    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Queen link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148544#msg148 544 date=1091542593
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148497#msg148 497 date=1091534361
    Well, of course a nice guy will finish last .... because a nice guy will make sure that the lady finishes first.
    Whoot!! That's right baby!!! ce:

    But seriously, I prefer to be with a "nice guy" over "bad boys" because that's usually what they (bad boys) are mentally...boys. Give me a laid back, easy going, realistic, no drama havin' nice guy, I'll treat him right!! : : : :
    I agree Ice Queen !

    I agree also...where's the 3-way highfive smilie?

    But I agree for women....do you know how hard it is to find a woman who is "laid back, easy going, realistic, no drama havin' ".....just as hard as finding a man like that I would bet.

  21. #21
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148510#msg148 510 date=1091538823
    Nice guys that don't fare well just simply need to let a little bit more testosterone rule their demeanor. There is nothing 'not nice' about true masculine energy. It's powerful, strong, driving, initiating, semi-aggressive and predatory... all things that feel very good to real men. Notice these are all 'knightly' values as well, so they in no way exclude being a 'nice guy'... provided there is appropriateness to when such things are unleashed.
    Well, if I may have some whine with my cheese, ahem...

    Women need to realize that some of us seemingly boring men, actually have a lot more "masculine energy" in us than they realize, and that they'd get it to come out (and at the appropriate times I might add) if they'd give seemingly boring men the kind of attention that they've been giving to jerks. There is plenty of drama, plenty of "fixing" to be done under the surface of ANY man if a gal takes the time to peel away the layers a bit.

    I know it goes against what our animal component tells women to do, but is they really want a "easy going, realistic, no drama havin' nice guy", they should go after him. Years of trying to distinguish himself from jerk man by being your "friend" have conditioned the nice guy into thinking that taking his natural male role as the persuer is only going to make him unattractive to you, and result in failure. C'mon ladies, do you think we're trying to counsel you on how to deal with jerk man just because we like you? We're trying to give you a better alternative.

    After all, you gals truly do hate jerk man, right?
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  22. #22
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148573#msg148 573 date=1091547046
    Ladies...take your pick...there are so many single "nice guys here"

    I'll make a list of the available bachelors..

    Nice guys
    1-SgtJohnny
    2-Need I really go on?
    Well damn. You really can't beat SgtJohnny can you? BTW... Does anyone know how his *cough* "date" went??



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  23. #23
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Boring guys finish last...

    Hey, it doesn't matter how "nice" you are, if you're a bore, then it's obviously difficult to attract attention. If you're nice/respectful AND fun to be around.... and even a little mischevious ... you'll beat out those "rude testrosterone saturated, ego stroking dick weeds" everytime. Just don't be a bore, for heaven sakes . Mix it up a little

    Have confidence in the fact that you'll show more respect than the next guy, and the rest will follow.

    Just my dos cents

  24. #24
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY link=board=1;threadid=11660;start=msg148573#msg148 573 date=1091547046
    Ladies...take your pick...there are so many single "nice guys here"

    I'll make a list of the available bachelors..

    Nice guys
    1-SgtJohnny
    2-Need I really go on?
    From the lack of sargy activity on these forums as of late, he may be taken, so you should take him off the list....... or he may just be in jail which means you'll need to take him off the list......

    so just take him off the list to play it safe

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

    New List

    1-A_Guy
    2-Sandy
    3-should i even go on?

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