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Thread: Product Warning Labels

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Product Warning Labels

    Inspired by Gynger's comment about by Viagara:
    warning label: May cause droopiness if not medically necessary.
    Furthered by my personal favorite regarding Olesterol:
    May cause oily anal discharge.
    Okay...EWWWW

    And onto the great warning labels of our time due to either poor translation, idiocy, or thanks to TOO MANY FUCKING LAWYERS IN THE WORLD....

    On a blanket from Taiwan -NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

    On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

    On a Taiwanese shampoo -USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

    In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles OPEN OTHER END.

    On a New Zealand insect spray -THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

    In a US guide to setting up a new computer -TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

    On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

    On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -

    WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

    On a Sears hairdryer -DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

    On a bag of Fritos –

    YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

    12. On a bar of Dial soap -

    DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

    13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)-DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

    14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

    15. On a Korean kitchen knife -

    WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

    16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

    17. On a Japanese food processor -

    NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

    18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

    19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

    20. On a Swedish chainsaw -

    DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

    21. On a child's superman costume -

    WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY

    22. On some frozen dinners

    SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

    23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box FITS ONE HEAD.

    24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

    25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

    26. On Nytol sleep aid - WARNING, MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    That's funny!LMAO!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    I love it.

  4. #4
    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    My personal all-time favorite was on a six inch plastic inflated parrot that I won at the fair:

    This parrot is not intended as a life-saving flotation device.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

  5. #5
    God/dess
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels


    Nice post Mojo!



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  6. #6
    Member Chemical442's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.







    Note to self: Re-think tonights kink ritual. :o
    Please don't get fake boobs.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels


  8. #8
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    I love this kinda stuff
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
    Quote Originally Posted by CandySeattle
    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

  9. #9
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    Curling iron: Do Not Insert Into Any Orfices While In Use.
    Slip and Slide: Choking Hazard for children under 3. [Those things are 2 feet wide and 6 feet long!!]
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  10. #10
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    You know what gets me the most about all of the warning labels? Some of the are just silly but it makes you think who really did that to begin with so they had to put that on the label? Think chainsaw and genitals!

    I just had to go look at all the junk in my house for silly ones like those I found these gems

    Pam cooking spray- do not use on heated surfaces(???)

    Children's cough medicine- do not drink alcoholic beverages while taking this product and do not operate automobiles or heavy machinery(no child alkies here!)

    dish soap- if ingested drink a glass of water (what to clean out your innards?)

    super glue-do not use on skin, if skin becomes bonded do not panic and try to pull skin apart. gently peel skin apart with a spoon or pencil (WTF?)

    steel shingshot ammo- not a toy. careless use may cause injury or death(duh!) keep slingshot and ammunition apart at all times (WTF? how do you use it then?)

    children's tylelol- keep away from children

    fake fingernails- do not use this product in eyes

    All this screams who was the dunbass who actually did this stuff so we have to have these warning labels in the 1st place!

    But I love em, keep em coming Mojo!

    Kitana

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  11. #11
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    fake fingernails- do not use this product in eyes
    Dammit............NOW what will I do with my weekend??
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  12. #12
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    Quote Originally Posted by Luna Maiden link=board=1;threadid=11745;start=msg149973#msg149 973 date=1091734480
    Curling iron: Do Not Insert Into Any Orfices While In Use.
    I&#039;ve actually seen an X-ray of this appliance stuck in a man&#039;s bum!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  13. #13
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    On my curling iron: Product may burn eyes (WTF???)

    On my blanket: I am washable

    HEre&#039;s another one... a penguin with a slash thru it (kinda like no smoking only with a penguin) it says, "Handle like icecream"- this sign is hanging in my garage.. I liked it so much I took it off the box and its been hanging in my garage for over 6 years....


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



  14. #14
    Veteran Member madison_leigh's Avatar
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    Default Re:Product Warning Labels

    My breasts have a career, I'm just tagging along

    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it may be necessary from time to time to give the stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." -- Miss Piggy

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