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    Default god please help me.

    I cant blieve this.I will try to make tthis short. Ihave been engaged for 4 years. My fiancee travels for work he is gone 5 months home like 2. Well he is insecure and calls like 10 time a day and always says Iknow your seeing someone.So this got oldand in feb I told him to move out. I dont trat men well I verbaly abuse them I tell them their stupid and ugly. Dont ask why its just something Ido. not sure why. Well he left 2 weeks later to work and has been gone since feb. This sale since we kind of broke up he did call less.which i liked. Well we had talked about trying to make it work when he got back. sice I had not been working for a year and a half I thought maybe that was the prblem because when he was home we were together all the time. since neither one of us worked. Wll he called 2 eeks ago and asked if we could see each other when he came home.which was supposed to be wed. I said sure and was exited and looking forward to it.its been 6 months.well i had a real job breifly(1 month) about a month after he left.he knew guys flirtrd with me and that i talked to one cp worker on the phone. well I went outwith this guy twice. ansd had a brief sexual encounter and I mean brief. well I hinted to my fiance and he would acuse me. So a while after the fiancee called and siad he was comeing he said he couldnt they were going back to work right away. so that king of upset me i was looking forward too seeing him and not waiting another 6 months. Well yesterday he calls going I know you have a newboyfriend bla bla and that you fucked that guy at that job so I said I know you have been seeing someone. he goes shes married. So Iam like what well he is seeing this married women and I go do you love her hes like i dont know.WHAT. I didnt think it would bother me I got sick to my stomache and we hung up.well today i needed to know things so i called and we talked he has been seeing her for 1 month and a half. had sex with her 4 times.well I started balling firsst time i cried even since he left. I dont blame him because i did kick him out and i dont treat him good. but to have feelings involved I cant get over! what iam asking i guess is what should i do and what do you guys think.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Sorry about all the typos. I kept getting knocked off line and wanted to get it all out.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Girlfriend,I didn't even read the whole post and I can tell you this isn't going to work out.Accusing you of seeing other people will never cease.The trust is not there,so this relationship is pretty much doomed.Save yourself some time and end it.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Wow...

    I hate to be a dick, but you both have issues, but you brought this on yourself somewhat.

    You cant treat someone like shit and expect them to treat you great forver. Trust me I know...i tried it(i was the one being treated like shit).

    He's obviously insecure about you and your relationship b/c of how you treat him. Who could be secure when they are being told they are ugly and stupid?

    Obviously you guys still have strong feelings for each other...but you are both playing games....seems very childish...

    You BOTH need to step back and grow up a little bit. Sit down and talk about whats really important...and if you can change and work on your problems TOGETHER then start over again...if not then you need to let it go.

    Honestly i dont think its going to work...i think you'd both be better off starting over with someone new.

    But i wish you the best of luck...just talk to him...you guys really need to talk and stop hiding your feelings and needs.

    Thats just my opinion

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    *whew*

    Well, without knowing more, it sounds like you didn't have a good relationship to begin with. Hell, I would have never put up with the verbal abuse. To hear "you're stupid" or "you're ugly" from someone you truly love and have committed to spending the rest of your life with would be devastating. I'd be out the door in a heart beat.

    Also, to accuse your loved one of cheating without reason is just plain disrespectful. If you can't trust your partner, you have nothing. He does sound insecure, which is sad.

    I think you two need to move on. Find someone that you know you can respect and who can in turn give you respect. Love shouldn't involve abuse or disrespect.

    Good luck, and hope all goes well.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    I feel its over too and that why I think Iam so upset. Well Iam probably the most uoset because he actually may have found someone else. This woman wants him to move there. She really likes him I guess. I feel like what a whore damn married bitch. I just never thought he would be with anyone else. he worshipped me. even when I was mean. Ithurts so much. It didnt even uoset me when he moved out. I told him I didnt blame him because we really arent together and he goes without for 5-6 months all the time. but Iam upset he has feelings for her. I dont even want to go to work. I hate myself.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    If he found someone else already,that's perfect.He'll be out of your hair even sooner.Trust me hun,you don't need him in your life.He hooked up with a married woman.That should tell you something about how he feels about the institution of marriage.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re:god please help me.

    A guy he tells me all the time his friends and familly say he is stupid for staying with me because of how I treat him. He isnt ugly he is gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to be with him. Hell he sent me money when he wasnt even there half the time every singe month. He said I only wanted to stay with hin because of that.He is a great guy his only fault is his insecurity. Dam guy cant even just have meaningless sex.

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    I really feel for you...i do...you sound like a good person you just have some issues with relationships/love.

    At least you can realize most of it.

    Im sorry to say that you best bet is to let it go...you messed this one up, you lost a good guy...its too late. Its hard to fix something that messed up...but you never know. It sucks..but thats life...luckily there are millions more people out there.

    Strangley this situation sounds way to familiar with me and my ex...although it never went to those extremes....its very similar...

    Good luck...hope you feel better

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by michele link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg150663#msg150 663 date=1091808701
    A guy he tells me all the time his friends and familly say he is stupid for staying with me because of how I treat him. He isnt ugly he is gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to be with him. Hell he sent me money when he wasnt even there half the time every singe month. He said I only wanted to stay with hin because of that.He is a great guy his only fault is his insecurity. Dam guy cant even just have meaningless sex.

    Ditto to what A said... at least you can recognize how it may have come to this.

    You sound like a good person and you may be insecure yourself. I can tell you have love to give, and need to give, so show it! Don't be afraid to truly fall for the one you love and to express those feelings. Love demonstrated through actions coupled with honest words part oceans.

    Mark this one up as a learning experience. I bet you won't make the same mistake again.

    Good luck, and I hope you can overcome this tough time

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by michele link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg150645#msg150 645 date=1091807488
    I cant blieve this.I will try to make tthis short. Ihave been engaged for 4 years. My fiancee travels for work he is gone 5 months home like 2. Well he is insecure and calls like 10 time a day and always says Iknow your seeing someone.So this got oldand in feb I told him to move out. I dont trat men well I verbaly abuse them I tell them their stupid and ugly. Dont ask why its just something Ido. not sure why. Well he left 2 weeks later to work and has been gone since feb. This sale since we kind of broke up he did call less.which i liked. Well we had talked about trying to make it work when he got back. sice I had not been working for a year and a half I thought maybe that was the prblem because when he was home we were together all the time. since neither one of us worked. Wll he called 2 eeks ago and asked if we could see each other when he came home.which was supposed to be wed. I said sure and was exited and looking forward to it.its been 6 months.well i had a real job breifly(1 month) about a month after he left.he knew guys flirtrd with me and that i talked to one cp worker on the phone. well I went outwith this guy twice. ansd had a brief sexual encounter and I mean brief. well I hinted to my fiance and he would acuse me. So a while after the fiancee called and siad he was comeing he said he couldnt they were going back to work right away. so that king of upset me i was looking forward too seeing him and not waiting another 6 months. Well yesterday he calls going I know you have a newboyfriend bla bla and that you fucked that guy at that job so I said I know you have been seeing someone. he goes shes married. So Iam like what well he is seeing this married women and I go do you love her hes like i dont know.WHAT. I didnt think it would bother me I got sick to my stomache and we hung up.well today i needed to know things so i called and we talked he has been seeing her for 1 month and a half. had sex with her 4 times.well I started balling firsst time i cried even since he left. I dont blame him because i did kick him out and i dont treat him good. but to have feelings involved I cant get over! what iam asking i guess is what should i do and what do you guys think.
    gurl... are u my twin? yeah, i use to do this sh1t to my bf. call him ugly & worthless. then he dumped me. then i went ballistic & ended up in therapy.

    my therapist said that u basically get what u give... AKA KARMA.

    so basically, if u love someone, give them respect, love, and sincerity. everybody has their limits. a lot of us, not all, grew up w/ dysfunctional families but we shouldn't bring that garbage into our relationship. it's wrong. ur BF doesnt derserve ur vitriol.

    u had ur chance & u blew it. if u want him back then be nice to him & PRAY to GOD that he comes back. if he doesn't, then it's a lesson learned. move on & don't treat ur next BF like sh1t.


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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Therapy...I urge you!

    You need to take some responsibility for your actions. You treat him like shit but don't know why, you just do? Well, go to therapy and find out and quit doing it already.

    Although he obviously had a few issues of his own too.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg150661#msg150 661 date=1091808594
    If he found someone else already,that's perfect.He'll be out of your hair even sooner.Trust me hun,you don't need him in your life.He hooked up with a married woman.That should tell you something about how he feels about the institution of marriage.
    MY EXACT THOUGHTS!!!!!
    It also sounds like you need your guy to be around more often (like most women prefer)

  15. #14
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    oh yea, and why the hell would any guy say how many times hes had sex with this other woman? I dont know, just seems odd, or almost like hes trying to throw it in your face.


    but anyway, mich you need to get out and date other people. Trust me, there are a lot of men out there.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg150896#msg150 896 date=1091827694
    oh yea, and why the hell would any guy say how many times hes had sex with this other woman? I dont know, just seems odd, or almost like hes trying to throw it in your face.


    but anyway, mich you need to get out and date other people. Trust me, there are a lot of men out there.
    i was thinkin that, too. guys r drama queenz, too so he might just be tryin to piss her off.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Michelle,
    What you wre doing was being mean to try and keep him...it was a way to make him think that you were the only and BEST thing he could get. When the married woman started to show him feelings and such, he knew he could find love again. Calling him names finally got to him.

    Ya know? Some people like to treat others like shit to keep them. Once the people leave, its when the other wants them back. Its a bad cycle.
    Lets say you get back together. You may say "I'll never treat him like shit again" but in time, it happens again, and thats probably what he doesnt want.

    Start to pick things up again and just move on. I just got out of a 6 year relationship that was full of love and no name calling and I am working on it.
    Remember....this too shall pass.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg150904#msg150 904 date=1091828155
    I just got out of a 6 year relationship that was full of love and no name calling and I am working on it.
    you know what the best way to get over someone is

    get under a dorky white boy nice guy type from NY

    j/k Lex

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Is this post for real? There are SO many things wrong with this whole scenario.

    Holy shit....sign up for the Jerry Springer show.

    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Umm.....did anyone else notice that she said she also had a sexual encounter with someone else????? Okay, so it was brief. Whatever. You're mad because he's seeing someone else instead of just fucking her like you did with your co-worker??? And you admit that you treated him badly and called him names.

    Hmmmm.....sounds to me like you got what you deserved.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Yes, Kittie...I noticed that. I started to list out the 12 or so things that make this whole thing frickin' stupid, then decided it wasn't worth my time.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    I dont post things for no reason. I have been a member her for a while. Iam not some idiot looking for attention. I wanted help.Not rude responses. If you read it and dont like it dont post. I definitely dont ned more agravation. I thank everyone who did respond kindly to my post.Yes I did say I had a breif encounter with someone. Like I said I did kick him out in feb. Went out with the other guy in may.I dont cheat on my boyfriends. I waited for him faithfuly while he was away for 5 months at a time over a 4 year period. I am just hurting becaue I thought maybe we could work it out when he got home. I realize to him. I dont know Iam rambling because Iam so upset. Lexi I believe your post is right on you are so right about what you said. I dont want to let this go and date again. I was with hom for 4 years and my daughter father before him for 5. I have been with 3 guys in 9 years. I just need advise. Iam really upset. I cant eat or sleep. I disnt post to be made fun of. Iam hurting and thought it might help me out.

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Okay, Michele - here is my "kind" response. Reread your post and think "What would I say to a friend if she told me this?" The situation you are in is damned near impossible. Two freight trains heading for each other. Neither one of you is more "right" than the other. So you can either both agree that you both fucked up and take a step back and start over.... or take a step away and start over alone.

    It is not always possible to have a nice happy answer to every situation. There is no happy answer here. Your choice is to go into deeper depression (which is what you are currently experiencing) OR...pull yourself up, bite the bullet, and take charge of your life.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Default Re:god please help me.

    he tells me all the time his friends and familly say he is stupid for staying with me because of how I treat him. He isnt ugly he is gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to be with him. Hell he sent me money when he wasnt even there half the time every singe month. He said I only wanted to stay with hin because of that
    the stripper stereotype strikes again.

  25. #24
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=1;threadid=11797;start=msg151281#msg151 281 date=1091869222
    Is this post for real? There are SO many things wrong with this whole scenario.

    Holy shit....sign up for the Jerry Springer show.


    JERRY SPRINGER SHOW? jesus, stuff does happens like this.
    I can think of much worse. She was asking for some help.

  26. #25
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:god please help me.

    And it has been offered.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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