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Thread: A Joke for the Married Folk...

  1. #1
    Featured Member Hottie7268's Avatar
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    Default A Joke for the Married Folk...

    A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

    "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."


    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lollypop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses.."
    domurdi: The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lollypop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses.."

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppyface?"

    She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious. I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
    domurdi: "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, cutie pie?...
    "LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHER-FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, & YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THAT IS F*CKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    Lol!!
    [move=left,scroll,6,transparent,100%] [/move]



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  4. #4
    Featured Member Hottie7268's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    LMAO!!!!

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



  5. #5
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...




    ahhhh... the joys of married life lol

  6. #6
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    how about the guy grows a set of balls and says "hey shmoopsie-poo, shut the fuck up and like it that I'm going out with the guys to drink beer and chase pussy. If your lucky, I'll bring some home for ya"

    -thus endeth the sermon

  7. #7
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    OMFG these ARE great.yes I am really getting a kick out of these, I'm truely married. *blows hubby a kiss* (you're reading my history aren't ya sweetheart)
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
    Quote Originally Posted by CandySeattle
    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

  8. #8
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    These are stupid. Stupid, I tell ya. There's nothing fucking funny about any of it. Fuck off.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  9. #9
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    Mojo coz you know it's half true LOL!!!
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
    Quote Originally Posted by CandySeattle
    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

  10. #10
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    Shut up. <grumbling>
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  11. #11
    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    haha
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    I don't hate men. I hate everyone equally.
    Quote Originally Posted by CandySeattle
    Kelly you're so raunchy, but in a proper way.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

  12. #12
    Newbie sativa love's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    that is a good one!!! I am getting married in a year and I can totally mi fiance and I saying that kind of shit to eachother!!

  13. #13
    Newbie sativa love's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    I meant---- see my fiance and I. OOOPPPSSS!!!!

  14. #14
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:A Joke for the Married Folk...

    Quote Originally Posted by scorpio link=board=1;threadid=12071;start=msg155191#msg155 191 date=1092344395
    how about the guy grows a set of balls and says "hey shmoopsie-poo, shut the fuck up and like it that I&#039;m going out with the guys to drink beer and chase pussy. If your lucky, I&#039;ll bring some home for ya"

    -thus endeth the sermon
    LOL...well, sugar lips...it&#039;s kinda hard to give advice you don&#039;t follow. LOL... j/k

    :kiss:

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