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Have a got a story for all of you!
Here's my night.....
Me and Jackie Oh No go to burger king cuz I was STAHVIN and we needed sustanace before heading out for drinks and lap dances. At BK, this weird bald guy riding a bike keeps circling my car (???) even after I stuck my finger up my nose and everything...
We go and park to eat and the guy rides up and starts telling us how he was enjoying the view of us two ladies....then he asks if he can kiss our feet. WTF moment of the night #1. :o
So anyway...We head to Ten's in Salisbury Beach, NH. We get there and I swear we sat down and about 5 minutes later, this guy approaches and asks us to go into the VIP room to dance for his friend :o. So we tell him we're not strippers and he gets all apologetic and asks if he can buy us drinks for the mistake. We were like, ummm...OK! So he gets us a couple drinks...
THIS IS WHERE THE SHORT BUS COMES INTO PLAY!
(And strippers EVERYWHERE take heed!)
So this dude (FRANKIE is his name) starts telling us how he and his friend have soooo much money (they're "LIQUID" as he put it...LOL) and they bought a bus (which is parked out back) and that they are going to all these strip clubs across the states to have a good time and that they are video taping it all and that they'll be on MTV and so forth...... :laugh:
So then Frankie's friedn comes out of VIP and sits with us. This guy, CHRISTOPHER (AKA: DC/ Dog Catcher) sits w/ us and starts goofing around. This guy DC is loud and hairless ( made us touch his freshly waxed arms and legs) and he's telling us how he sucked on the dancers' tits and stuff (yet there is NO contact there ???). Then these guys start asking weird shit like would we rather fuck a guy with an 8" white whale dick that cums like a sneeze or a 5' dick that shoots sperm as far as Guam.....WTF moment of the night #2!
BTW- It's not the size of the boat or the waves the boat makes...it's the motion in the ocean!
So....Jackie and I get another drink on these guys' tabs and we head outside for a smoke. Frankie comes outside w/ us and wants to show us the SPECIAL BUS. And special it was.......it was a short bus (the kind the special kids ride in) painted black with neon pink and yellow stripes down the side, complete with "SPECIAL" in the destination window in front.
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o we go over to check it out and the thing is GHETTO!!!!!
Frankie is like "yeah it has surveilance, we keep it fully stocked w/ booze, and it has a shower!!!! Meanwhile,
the bathroom looks like nana's armoire, the bed is more like a bench with pillows and a comforter on it, and he has one beer in the cooler. LOL!!!
So Jackie and I are trying not to laugh, and we start talking about why we're there. I told him I wanted to strip but I think I'm gonna go to Centerfold's in Boston. Well Frankie apparently knows the owner (as well as the Hells Angels, yet he didn't know my friend's dad who is the president of a local chapter in the area) So, Frankie proceeds to bust out his Nextel and calls his friend who puts him on speakerphone. This guy is trying to impress me by telling me his friend will get me in the club when I know damn well I can get in on my own, and he starts goofing with his buddy and asking about his friends hot mom, who then replies cuz she hears this fool on speakerphone.
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Anyway, we go back into the club and these two little cutie patootie dancers come over. They just started at the club and they're best friends. We get a bunch of dances from them (on Ding and Waxed Dong's tab again) and we start talking. They both tell me how the other dancers aren't friendly (which was plainly obvious...they really are rude there IMO). I get all the good info I need from the......they were fucking AWSOME chicks!!!!!
Well the waxed whale starts getting out of hand and saying shit to these girls calling them little tits and stuff. So I made them give the girls more money. Jackie and I make them get us another drink and we head for the pervert seats up front. We start tipping all the chicks and having a good time. Then we go outside for another cigarette.
That's when some guy comes up to us and says "See that Audi over there? (we couldn't see it) It's my buddies. I'll give you $20 to stand near it and let me take a pic"......LOL.....So we did it!
We go back inside and start tipping again. Little while later, pic dude wants our #'s cuz he wants us to do a bachelor party for his buddy. Says he'll pay $200 for each of our tickets to go to NASCAR too.![]()
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Then Ding & Dong approach yet AGAIN! This time they're pushing a visit to the bus on us. We're like.....ummmmmmm...NO. Buy us more drinks! LOL!
Well one of my cutie girls gets up on stage and starts dancing. Waxed Whale (DC) starts telling her that her boobs are little. Jackie and I are bs at this point! This guy has no taste! The chick was HOT!!!! She's tough tho and gives it right back to him. Her and I start talking and she tells me how her friend is VERY insecure and if he talks like that to her she'll be freaked out. Her friend had just had a baby so her belly was a little loose, but nothing bad. Well the poor thing gets up to dance and waxed whale starts telling her she needs to go to the gym and tone up! I almost decked him! And the bouncers there SUCK and they don't give 2 squirts of piss so long as they're getting their money, you know?
So then this dude Frankie wants to kiss me and I am SO NOT DOWN for kissing this slimeball. He starts getting pissy cuz he thinks he should get something cuz he bought drinks all night, but I was like fuck off dude! I owe you shit! Just cuz you got me a few drinks does not mean I'll kiss you, I will not get on your bang bus and I'M NOT GONNA FUCK YOU! I DON'T CARE HOW "LIQUID" YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!!!![]()
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(meanwhile, these guys are flat broke from buying us drinks and dances all night
) I fucking hate scumbags......
So we continue to tip the lovely ladies on stage and I'm having a great time still, but Ding & Dong are being pushy, so Jackie Oh No heads out for a cig. I got up and said I'd be right back (knowing damn well I was heading for my car!). As I head out, I say bye to my honey girls and call the guys freaks. Well one of the veteran dancers of the club sitting at a table with her bitchy clique drinking her beer calls me a slut! OMFG!!!! This bitch must have fucking NUTS to call me that! Yeah I have a good time when I go out...I DO NOT dress or act like a slut (mind you I was talking up the nice girls there all night), and this bitch calls ME a slut?! Don't hate the playa, hate the game! I hustled more than this bitch did and I didn't have to take my clothes off!
Sorry if my anger towards this girl offends anyone, but I hate that shit! There are some really fucking cool dancers out there....then there are the bitches.
So then to top the lovely evening off, I go to my fave gas station and I'm telling my buddy the attendent there about the night when he points out I have a fan sitting in traffic across the street. I waved my friendly wave and the guy pulls into the station!!! Jackie and I are dying laughing!The guy starts hitting on us!!!! WTF moment #3!
So we tell him we're big lezbos, haven't seen cock in 3 years, heading home to munch eachother's rugs...lol....and he asks for a free show! We tell him only for the right amount of $$$, and he says he's got lotsa money....yet he's driving a rot box Yota with the plate hanfging off of one screw! LOL.....Ahhhhh the yokels in my town....gotta love it!
Sorry to post such a long story, but I wanted to get it all out and also warn you girls to BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE SPECIAL BUS!!!!!! Milk these fuckers for their money, but be careful, they're up to NO GOOD!!!!!





) and we start talking. They both tell me how the other dancers aren't friendly (which was plainly obvious...they really are rude there IMO). I get all the good info I need from the......they were fucking AWSOME chicks!!!!!

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I believe you Dottie and you have my support 


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