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Thread: Parental Guidance

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Parental Guidance

    What were your parents like in their quest to raise you? My folks have always been true hippies...not the type that are hippies because they want the world to know it. They are just true spiritual natural people who believe in equality at its finest. As such, I was raised to iron my own clothes as well as mow the lawn. I was shocked when one of my wife's sons said to me, "Why are you ironing your clothes? Isn't that my mom's job?" Did your parents teach you that men were scum? Men and women are equal? Were they racist? Did they teach you that women need to find a man to "take care of" you? And what was the result?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    Being that I grew up in a very traditional Chinese household,I was taught that women were second class compared to men.My mom taught me this and my sister also.My sister is seven years older than me and lived longer in my country than I did.This type of raising proved detrimental to her because has become a man in a sense.She looks just like a man,talks, walks ,acts just like a man.It made her gay too.In my case,I went the exact opposite and became the girly girl.

    As far as the woman's place in society,we were all supposed to become housewives catering to our husbands' every whim.I was raised like it was 1957 or something.I'm glad I know better and can be a productive member of society.

    To this day,my mom is still a housewife to my stepdad,and pretty much hates life.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    I was raised primarily by my Grandmother. Although she taught me right from wrong, she also allowed me to screw up for myself, and taught me how to work things out. My whole family is full-blooded Sicilian, so I was taught everything at a very early age. LOL. I was cooking major meals by I'd say age 6 or 7, and even then I was allowed wine at dinner (it's a must, you know).. heh..

    Being that I was taught everything at a young age, very little was done for me. She raised me to be totally independent, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had my first job at 14, and from then on, I bought everything I needed on my own.

    I remember when I married my first husband. She absolutely adored him, don't get me wrong, but under her breath after our wedding, she said to me "You know, I love him, but watch out, because he's Jewish!". hahaha! My Grandmother loved all people, but she most certainly would've preferred for me to marry another Sicilian, as everyone before me (except for my older sister) had.

    So basically, I do things for myself, always have. I'm a little different with my own children. I cater to them, because I'm just that way. I teach them everything that I was taught, but I don't expect them to take care of themselves exclusively. I'm just a moosh for my kids, I can't help it.. hehe

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    Im not particulary fond of how my parents raised me.

    That said....

    They were very very strict...i wasnt allowed to go out much or do anything until i was basically a senior in highschool.

    My dad was sort of physically abusive...but not horribly...sometimes it was a bit much...but i dont complain about that.

    My parents(dad especially-hes a stubborn off the boat italian) are not very emotional....they never expressed any sort of affection for one another or to me or my brother. Which is strange b/c now im a veyr emotional and affectionate person.

    My dad was never satisfied...i never heard a "good job son"...but always heard about "what the hell is wrong with you"

    They never taught me about much outside my house. Everything I know...i basically learned on my own....how to ride a bike, how to play sports(i had to teach myself and my lil bro), what the real world is like outside my house/family,....

    They never taught me to be racist or not...they never mentioned it....i formed my own of opinion of not being judgemental towards anyone at all...which i guess didnt work out so well with my mom when i brought a black girl home one day ... i guess she was dissappointed she didnt "teach me the right(white) way".

    No one ever taught me about girls or anything...maybe thats why i still dont know what im doing ....never even had the "sex talk" with my dad will I was 22 years old ...."Dad...its too late...dont worry"

    Needless to say I know how I want to raise my children and its nothing like how my parents raised me.


  5. #5
    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    My parents are morons. My dad is a sociopath. My mother is the real moron for marrying him. First, she married a sociopath, he faked it until they were married and became a total asshole the day after. Then she had the sense to have two children with this moron. She stayed with him for years, while he treated her like trash. She left him and then married my dad, who I think was a strict asshole to my siblings. When I was six, my dad became an alcoholic and basically went off the deep end. He wouldn't work, and he was verbally abusive. It was horrible. She wouldn't leave. When I was 16, he finally quit drinking. Then of course, because I didn't know better, I did the same thing she did and dated two sociopaths. It has made me hate them.

  6. #6
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    My parents had an on again off again aproach to parenting. I lived with my dad, and I'd leave or he'd kick me out and it'd be a month or so before he remembered he had a kid and he'd come to school and bring me home and be a model parent for a couple days, and then it'd start slipping. I learned to live without utilities, to take care of babies, to work on cars and build log cabins. Mostly I learned that I can do anything, especially things people try to tell me I can't do. Other than that everything I learned from my father could be summarized by Thoreau's "Walden."

    I turned out pretty independant and down to earth with a deathly fear of marriage and debt. Altho I went through my share of abusive relationships with sociopathic alchoholic wanna be pimps first.

    Lena



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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    Well, I was pretty fortunate in my upbringing…

    Growing up they were loving, caring and understanding throughout my childhood, but hardly pushovers. I received my due punishment when I was a little bastard, however the punishment was rarely ever physical. I was slapped once or twice, but nothing to go running to the police about. Both my father and mother grew up in very religious households – Southern Baptists. However, they willingly let me choose my beliefs. I was never brain washed into believing one religion/god/savior over another. We often went to church, but it was one that supported and preached fellowship as opposed to sins, heaven/hell and Jesus.

    They always taught me the need to be open-minded and to overcome prejudices, however they had some of their own. My father would say things such as “Blacks are lazy, poor workers. Mexicans, on the other hand, come to America to work!� I would consider them “inactively� racist because they had preconceived notions, however they made visible efforts to overcome these.

    In general they could be considered strict. I had a very limit curfew, they were very cognizant and critical of who I considered friends, and almost overly critical of my grades (I averaged a 3.7 in high school… a C was simply unacceptable). Although, all bonds were broken when I left for college. They freely and willingly allowed me to take full responsibility for my life, which was appreciated.

    My father is technically considered “rich� because of a company he started that grew to over 100 employees in 10 years. However, he grew up in poverty, and respected the need to “earn your keep�. If I ever received an allowance, it was due to work around the house, at times strenuous. Never did I receive a token amount each week just for being his son. I often was angry about this growing up, because my peers were receiving credit cards with free reign to buy essentially whatever they wanted, while I was mowing the lawn, painting the garage, cleaning cars for a measly $20/month. I do, though, definitely appreciate hard work and the value of money today. I’m sure if he were to put his wealth on display and “reward� his children for his hard work, I would have absolutely no money management skills today.

    My parents relationship was always envied by their friends, siblings, and acquaintances. Even I was proud to have two parents that seemingly loved each other to the degree they displayed despite the present environment of divorce, infidelity, and single mothers and fathers. So, naturally it was quite a shock when my parents told me my sophomore year in college (on their 25th anniversary) that they were getting a divorce.

    My parents are conservatives, republicans, and somewhat religous. It's interesting that in this environment, I've turned out to be liberal, open-minded and follow no religion or widely held religious beliefs.

    Overall, they were good parents and I would raise my kids in a similar fashion.

  8. #8
    Featured Member Tiff_7_17's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    My parents split up when I was about 3, and I went to live with my mom. My parents have been to court with each other 7 times over the years before I turned 18....for various reasons. I mean, Ross-Fletcher? They couldn't even agree on my name. When i'm with my dad, it's always, "You're mother used my child support to buy smokes...she's a lousy driver, I don't want you in her car...blah blah blah" and when i'm with my mom it's, "You're father is such a hypocrite, he smokes pot, I think he's an asshole and he should have more money saved for your education" AND IT JUST GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON.
    Needless to say, I grew up living with my mom...we were never rich or well off. We got by, that's about it. She was also much more strict than my dad, but a good parent. My dad moved in with my stepmom and her daughter Roz, and I saw him every second weekend. As I got older I realized, I never saw him outside of those allotted every other weekends! He was allowed to see me more often...and we lived 10 minutes away from each other by car...but I guess it just wasn't part of his schedule. And yet, he was living in the same house with his wife Kate, and her daughter and in the 15 years they lived together...I think they said 5 words to each other (My dad and my stepsis). I was born and raised in the same place my whole life, Port Coquitlam BC...and then in 8th grade? I had the shock of moving to another province, to a little town. My dad all of a sudden flipped a gasket...I COULDN'T ACTUALLY LEAVE! Even though all those years we'd seen each other every other weekend...so I said, well daddy, can I live with you? and he said no, right to my face with no explanation. So it's funny, now my dad wants me to move into the house for going to college because Roz is long-gone moved out. Yeah it's finally convenient for you, I don't think so! This is why i'm not in college yet

  9. #9
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    I love my dad. If not for him I would be in prison or dead. He taught me: work hard, be fair, be honest, and don't be stupid.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Orchid_Bloom's Avatar
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    Default Re:Parental Guidance

    I was ignored, my mother thinks she was an alien in a past life, my dad was and is always at work. No allowance but it didn't bother me cause there were no chores either. I wasn't taught any important life skills, I'm barely learning how to drive, I lack self dicipline. They didn't really care about what grades I got, as long as I got a diploma, my college options were shot. Overall they were good parents and I'm thankful. I just wish they were more positivly involved when I was a kid, I felt invisible a lot of the time.
    "Life is too short to spend it hoping that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lipshade can mask an ugly heart."-Kevyn Aucoin

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