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Thread: Is your job a secret?

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Is your job a secret?

    I know lots of you are think, what's up with this newbie chic...haha. Seriously, there's so much I need to ask.

    But, who in your life knows that you dance? This is going to be so tough to hide from my family & some friends. There's just too many ppl I don't want to find out that i'll be dancing.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    No one in my family knew. Now my sister does, and so do my aunt and uncle. No one else; not my parents, or friends.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My roommate, and a few close friends. But, none of my family knows, they would totally have a stroke. There are times that I alomost slip about telling a story...that begins with...one of the girls from the club...etc...so it's hard.....to cover your tracks.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    I'm so glad to hear that! I love my parents to death, and I hide it from them too. Most to all of my dancing friends are honest with their parents and think that my not telling mine is mean, wrong, whatever. I just prefer they remain blissfully ignorant, they would worry so much!

    Everyone else but my family knows.

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Yes and no.Everyone in my husband's family knows,whereas no one in my family does.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    i only tell the friends which are closest to me. No one in my familly knows. I have 2 kids so it's better that way. It's not that I am ashamed of what I do, I just would rather not explain myself or be associated with all of the stereo-types.

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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My whole familiy knows, except my grandparents.. better that way...

    I only have friends that are dancers or former dancers, and those who aren't, do not know and never will. I made the mistake in telling one of my non dancing friends and she played an ugly card on me that to this day will never be forgotten.


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    Member Ellie Tara's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Most of my boyfriends family knows and some of an ex-boyfriends family knows. My family doesn't know at all (I am always especially careful when around my mom's fam not to mention it; she was a sixties hippie and all but one raised by a reverend father). My father took me into my first strip joint last may (in kc missouri); I'd told him since now 21 I would like to check one out-- so he lives above the shady lady...he got me a scotch and he sipped on a diet coke (diabetic). After 10 minutes or so we left and walking around the corner to the staircase he made me promise I'd never try it (he's 63 & old fashioned). Two weeks later I auditioned and have been dancing full time to part time for a little over a year. Most of my friends know. (forget that you know what guilt feels like) For it's so true how secrets are needed in certain places.
    etherreal eyes

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    Member Ellie Tara's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    p.s. (with seeing that pastie place in kc)--I'd flown out there for a few days to see him grad to get his BLA finally (I'm still so proud of him for going back at an old age) Two weeks after Flying Back to Portland Oregon is when I auditioned and where I've been dancing henceforth.
    etherreal eyes

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    I just would rather not explain myself or be associated with all of the stereo-types.
    This is EXACTLY the reason why I don't want to tell alot of ppl. I told three friends & I regret telling one of them. Shoot. And as far as my family, NONE of them are gonna know....except for my cousin who is close to me & I love dearly. We share alot. But my family is so moralistic & Catholic, my mom would be SO devistated. I love her so much & I wouldn't want to hurt her in anyway. This is going to be tough to hide. And my outfits too!! I live with her.

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    Member AmberMarie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Funny, but all my friends have always been supportive. Actually, my sister and my best friends are the ones who talked me into it. I find it hard to lie, and usually I am completely honest with people. So far I have been lucky. A few disapproving looks and quick judgements, but everyone worth holding on to is still here. That said, I live with my mom, too, for the time being. She thinks I tend bar at the club. Respects my privacy, never sees my outfits. I'm sure she suspects, but would probably rather be in blissful ignorance!
    "A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."
    -Bob Dylan

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Only my granparents don't know. I don't run around with a neon sign on my head, but I don't make an effort to hide my job to anyone else, save potential landlords and such.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Okay... it was a secret except for friends, my younger brother and one aunt and uncle knew. I told my father as I wanted it to be out in the open... my father then came back to me to say "Keep it quiet from your step-mum and anyone else for that matter".

    I'm the family "skeleton in the closet" so to speak. So.. basically "coming out" about my real job was pointless as I have to lie about it to my step-mum and everyone else who doesn't already know anyway.

    It sucks as I would rather have it out in the open (if the person/people want to judge me.. then so be it).

    Since "coming out".. I have yet to have a lunch or anything with my dad and step-mum ... so I don't know wierd I'm going to feel about it all.

    In the end, tell those that need to know.. otherwise, allow those who don't need to know to stay in the dark.. it seems.


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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Everyone in my family and hubby's family knows what I do along with all of our friends. Only my family isn't supportive and for as far as I concerned they can kiss my ass about it. We never discuss it, nor do I share anything more with my family than I have to.

    I have a very tight knit family, but they are all hypocrits, and they think their stuff dosen't stink. As far as theyare concerned, I'm the black sheep and I kinda like it that way. I don't have tons of nosey relatives in my business all the time.

    Kitana
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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    All of my friends know (lol even my landlord, because I had to bring in proof of my income when getting an apartment. The lady that was processing everything for me actually said she had thought about doing that and wanted to know how the money was), and my immediate family except my dad, who I don&#039;t talk to. My grandmother doesn&#039;t know because I think it would make her worry unnescesarily, and she lives in another state. I usually feel bad lying to people, so I just tell the truth. If someone doesn&#039;t like me because of my stupid job, it&#039;s just not my problem.

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    Member sarahdancesinchica's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    A good number of my friends know, but the only family member is one of my sisters.

    Added in modification to message: It&#039;s also worth noting that because I only work parties and not at a club I have another day job (which some people working at clubs do as well, but it doesn&#039;t appear to be nearly as common), but in my situation I don&#039;t have people wondering about my income.
    --Sarah

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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My immediate family knows, my friends know, my boyfriend knows and all of my stylists know (hair, nails, spa).



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Veteran Member ladysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My family does not know (knock on wood...) and most of my friends from school do not either..... I&#039;m not ashamed but I do not feel like explaining or defending why I dance to almost all my friends and family. A few of my closest friends know but that&#039;s about it....

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Quote Originally Posted by Starfire link=board=27;threadid=12158;start=msg157336#msg15 7336 date=1092679496
    All of my friends know (lol even my landlord, because I had to bring in proof of my income when getting an apartment.
    Careful with those landlords. NinaDaisy and I have recently been turned down for a rental BECAUSE we&#039;re strippers. He SPECIFICALLY said he didn&#039;t want to rent to us because strippers are a "potential flight risk". This was the first time I ever told a landlord I strip and it will be the last.

    For landlords I have an internet business and that is all. I have my tax return for proof of income.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  20. #20
    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    Maybe I don&#039;t know what I"m talking about, but is it legal to turn down renters because of what their job is?

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    I don&#039;t TRY to keep it a secret, but I don&#039;t just tell everyone I meet either, ya know? My family knows (well, those that I actually talk to anyway) but I&#039;m not on speaking terms with all of them. If they found out though, it&#039;s not like I&#039;d care.

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    Senior Member Crystal585's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My family has no idea, because I live and dance in Vegas now I told my parents that I was doing convention sales, which I think is pretty standard, there must be 4000 strippers whos parents think that they are working in conventions lol. My parents would have a stroke if they found out about it so I just dont tell them, its easier that way. The only time that it is hard is when they visit and as I am passing the MGM convention center, my mother whips out her camera to take a pic of where I work to show her friends. Thats kind of hillarious.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My friends and BF know, my family doesn&#039;t.

    The landlord thing with me and Bridgette still pisses me off. We were the first ones in with our apps and brought tax returns and other documents to make sure we looked responsible. It floored me when I heard his sole reason for not renting to us was our jobs. Apparently it is legal to not rent to someone because of their job, though I briefly contemplated suing based on race, since I&#039;m Hispanic and my last name definitely is. Just to get back at the fucker. Revenge...so sweet.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    My younger brother, my father, one aunt and uncle, most (if not all) of my friends, my flatmate, my and my flatmate&#039;s cat (LOL!)..... I want my step-mum to know however my father is dead against me telling her (even tho&#039; he is married to her).

    He knowns I want to tell her.. even if she does disapprove.. I just want both of the "parents" in my life (my biological mother left this life quite some time ago now) to know.. I don&#039;t need EVERYONE to know.. just those in my immediate circle (as such).

    I do my best to avoid the "what do you do for a living" question. I usually say "self employed"... most people are satisfied with that luckily.


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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:Is your job a secret?

    I told my family that I&#039;ve been waittressing at a gentleman&#039;s club. My mom didn&#039;t know what a gentleman&#039;s club was until a couple months after I&#039;d said that - that went like:
    mom: uh . .. it isn&#039;t one of those topless places, is it?
    me: Yes, mom it is. [kind lie, it&#039;s NAKED]
    mom: Oh... well don&#039;t tell granny.

    The other night my brother decided to accompany my boyfriend to pick me up from work - why, I haven&#039;t the faintest. BF tried to dissuade him "it&#039;s a 3 hour roundtrip drive, probably with waiting, it is pretty boring"
    brother: "I&#039;ll go."

    So this is how the conversation on the way down went:
    bro: So she&#039;s waittressing?
    bf: Yeah.
    bro: Like . . . At chi-chis?
    bf: *blink* Not exactly.
    bro: mom said it was a gentleman&#039;s club?
    bf: Yeah.
    bro: Oh.
    bro: What&#039;s that like?
    bf: Uh . . . it&#039;s kind of a club.
    bro: like a nightclub?
    bf: Yeah, in a way.
    bro: with dancing?
    bf: *really trying not to laugh* not so much.
    bro: Oh. . . Maybe I should go check it out.
    bf: NO! Uh... you&#039;re too young.
    bro: Ah. okay.

    Oh, yeah, my brother is older than me, turns 21 in two weeks.
    I&#039;m not very fond of my brother to begin with, I was just like "oh god." :rolleyes: Though now my bf and my friend are teasing me about my topless chi-chi&#039;s job.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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