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Thread: What's the danger?

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    Senior Member Illuminata's Avatar
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    Default What's the danger?

    Okay, here's something I wonder about. I know several dancers use their real name as their stage name as well. However, I've heard it said on here that if you use a stage name, you should never, ever tell them your real name. What's the reason for this? I've heard people say to keep stalkers from getting at you, but really, especially if you have a common name like Jesseca, how can they really use that information? The only thing I can figure is that they could call out your real name in the parking lot or something, get your attention, and then attack you or something. Anyone have anything to add to this? Please forgive me if this isn't totally coherent; I'm sick and out of it today.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    In reality, using your own first name is probably a SAFER thing to do than using a stage name, precisely because any would-be stalker or troublemaker from the club will assume it's not your real name !

    However, using your real name can be inconvenient when you're with family or friends and happen to be recognized by a club customer who says "hi, real name, you were fantastic last week" ! This sort of makes it impossible to plead mistaken identity.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Um, he can use it to gain access to your schedule from staff members (example: "This is Jessica's friend, I need to see her, when is she coming in today?" Or get other info if one person thinks he's really your pal and not some customer.) You NEVER want anyone to track your comings and goings. There are threads on here about that. I know a girl who got jumped outside of the club by her stalker because he bought her cell number from a bartender and figured out when to catch her.
    Heck, some customers use fake names!
    Most of all, I dislike hearing my name coming out of some stranger's mouth.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I've never used my real name at work, simply because I am pretty different at work than in 'regular' life, and assuming a stage name just goes along with that. One of my good friends has always used her real name, and it works for her. It's more about what you prefer; if safety is a concern, nobody can really get anywhere with just your first name

    I also have a fake 'real' name that I sometimes give customers who pester, but most of the time when they ask that very TIRESOME question "what's your real name", I reply "it doesn't matter what I tell you, because you'd never know the truth anyway".

    I also agree with Melonie's second statement. I've had that happen, some dipshit customer was exiting as I was entering Wal-Mart with my grandparents, and greeted me a bit too 'enthusiastically' with my stage name. I just looked at him like he had 3 heads and said to my grandparents, "I guess he thinks I'm somebody else".

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I've never used my real name at work, simply because I am pretty different at work than in 'regular' life, and assuming a stage name just goes along with that.
    Rare is the customer that knows that stripping is what you do, not what you are.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Member dyeemblonde's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Well, I was travelling and dancing in a club in Austin. I met a guy spent the entire night with him and I felt like there was something strange about him. I went back to my hotel after work that night with no problems. But in the morning the hotel manager called my room saying that a guy named (blank) had called there (gave a decription of me)asking for my room number and told the hotel manager that he was my psychiatrist and was helping me work through some very tough issues and that he needed patched through to my room right away...only problem, he didn't know my real name so the manager knew he was a quack. I guess the guy followed me to my room or something but never saw what room number I went into??? In this case the fact that he thought my name was something else proved to be more helpful than I will ever truly know.
    I wanted to live inside her lungs

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    Member AmberMarie's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    There is another thread that Iwas just talking about this on. I use a stage name to seperate my life from dancing, but also for security. I have never used my real name, but I did dance in southern CA for a little bit. I also did personal training there. I guess a customer must have saw me walk into the gym because the front desk girl told me that someone had come in asking about me and saying he thought I was an old friend. She told him my name and my work schedule for the week. He would wait outside the gym to see my clients come out and since he knew my name he would ask them seemingly harmless questions about me and they thought he knew me. I guess he must have done that without me even knowing for about a week. He got my cell # somehow. He called about 15 times and left messages saying he knew who I was and where I lived and that he would tell everyone "I was a dirty girl." Luckily, he was stupid. Essentially wanted me to give him free and extra treatment in the Champagne Room, and when I went to work that weekend he called me by my real name when he walked by me. I had the bouncers throw him out and the manager always took care of us there so he didn't let him in again. Make a long story short, you never know what is going to happen, but all in all it is a judgement call. Go with how you feel most comfortable. I like to remind myself I am not always that dancer, I'm just me. The stage name helps keep that distinction.
    "A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."
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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Blonde, even if that guy knew your first name but not your last name, the hotel manager wouldn't have put him through. Especially with THAT story. I've never experienced or heard of a hotel worker putting a caller through to a guest room unless they know the LAST name of the guest.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I use my real name unless, obviously, it is currently in use by another dancer. I've never had any problems with stalkers or the like ... and been doing this for awhile now (3 years come Sept 12th!).

    I guess I know how to dress and act outside of work to not attract attention. I dunno.. but I have never had any safety issues or concerns. I'm not being lazy by a long shot.. I just know how to dress (shabby or dorky ... basically in a way that people will overlook me), walk (walk with a purpose), facial expression (poker/neutral face or slightly irritated... no one will go near someone who looks angry/irritated).. and so forth.

    I guess it's because I make up the rest of my story - I live in a different suburb than I actually do and so forth.


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  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Oh, another story: when I was shopping for a car I told a few dealers I danced (I was desperate, no credit, part time check stubs, etc..) One tried to get me to f*ck for a car. Real slimeball. I never went back.
    He tracked my cell number down after I changed it! Different area code and all. Luckily he stopped calling.
    I've run into people too....usually they look ashamed or pretend not to notice me....

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Most of the time, there really isn't any danger in giving out your real 1st name only. But I did work with a girl who alomst got killed by this guy(regular) because she gave him a little too much info. She never told him her name or anything, but she did talk about her kids. She told him their ages and names(like any proud mommy), and this sleze ball went and get the hospital records and found out who she was her, SSn, her address, phone #, everything.

    One day after she got the kids on the school bus and hubby of to work, he knocked on her door, raped her and beat her black and blue, left her for dead. She would have died if her Mom had not have came to visit that day.

    They cought the guy and he is serving 22 to life in a fed. pen for attempted murder. His excuse for trying to kill her? He loved her and it made him sick to see her with another man.

    That's the scary part, no one can tell what some of these guys are really thinking. That's why I have no regulars, I get scared to think of what one of them might do, if I talk a little too much.

    I do tell a very select few my real name, and even fewer than that know much more about me.

    Kitana
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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I use the name "Raul" as a patron
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Yeah I had some dipshit try to get me to "date" him for a used tv I was buying from him. I didn&#039;t tell him I dance, I just called up the number in the paper and when I got there he said "oh yeah I knew you were hot from your voice, you must be a stripper. I get alot of strippers answering ads for used stuff." Then he proceded trying to get a date as I was carrying the tv to my car. Ass.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Damn, Bridgette...."you must be a stripper" doesn&#039;t work? I was going to try that next week!
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I don&#039;t mean to deflect blame from where it truly lies (i.e. with sleazeball customers willing to break the law), but I feel I must point out the following .

    The incidence of customer stalkings and investigations into dancer&#039;s private lives, and therefore the incidence of the nasty potential outcomes, is directly proportional to the degree which dancers "lead on" customers in an effort to get them to spend large amounts of money. If a dancer spends all of her attention on one customer on a particular night, or shares details of her personal life with a customer (i.e. her kids, her financial problems), or implies that the customer means something to her personally or emotionally (or fails to dispel such beliefs on the part of the customer), then the dancer is creating a situation where the customer believes he means more to the dancer on a personal basis than merely a source of money. When such a customer belief is allowed to become established, yet the "moment of truth" inevitably arrives where the dancer must put the customer in his true place, it is somewhat understandable that some customers will become upset or worse when they discover that, from their own perspective, they have spent thousands of dollars on a girl who they have grown to "love" but who has in fact "led them on" with absolutely no real intentions toward that customer other than to collect their money.

    While the law is clearly on the side of the dancer should the customer in question do something rash after receiving a rude awakening, it&#039;s not completely honest to say that the dancer bears no responsibility whatsoever for nastiness which might develop from such situations.

    Of course sleazeball car dealers/other merchants are a whole &#039;nuther story - in these cases the dancer didn&#039;t do anything other than walk in the door looking to purchase a product.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    For me, the stage name helps me get into my "stripper mode". I know that people can track dancers down with no info on them what-so-ever. Most of the time, though, the problem with the customers getting info on the dancers lie with the fellow employees of the club. Our club has STRICT rules regarding dancers/waitress safety. If anyone is found giving out any personal/identifying information about a dancer, they are fired. Our club also makes sure that NO customers are near the club when the dancers leave...and we are only allowed to leave in groups (at shifts end), unless, of course there is an emergency. Last time I left early, a floor guy waited outside with me waiting for my fiance to pick me up. He walks me up to the car, opens the door, checked to make sure it was my fiance (who had my daughter with him) and let me in the car. They not only are serious about keeping the dancers safe...but also making sure she&#039;s not going home with a customer. There have been a few times that customers have asked me for a phone number and I give them the phone number to the club. I have also had customers pull me aside and offer me money to give them another dancers&#039; phone number...which I do obligingly give...to the club. I will also let the other dancer know that the customer is trying to get info on her. Doesn&#039;t happen very often, but it does happen.

    I never give out accurate information about myself in the club. I say I grew up in a completely different town than I did. I tell them that my daughter was born in another state...that I live in a completely different town than I do (about 1 hour in another direction). It just makes it harder to find my info.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=12193;start=msg157139#msg15 7139 date=1092643320
    I use the name "Raul" as a patron
    wow i have a customer that uses that name too. it is NOT his real name. i guess there is more than one customer who likes fear and loathing in las vegas!!
    As quoted by Luckyone:
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    Senior Member Illuminata's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Christy. I know there are slimeballs out there, but some of this stuff is just freaky. Especially that guy who went to the hospital and got the one girl&#039;s records. ::shiver:: From now on, I&#039;m not even going to tell anyone what STATE I&#039;m from.

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I&#039;m sure many of you are already aware of this, but also be careful about where you&#039;re car is registered to. I think this is almost more important than the giving/not giving your real first name.

    If you drive to work, a stalker could wait for you in the parking lot to see what car you get into. Then later on they could come back during another shift and write down your license plate number. In my area one&#039;s auto registration information is a matter of public record and for a small fee, that person could now have your home address.

    For this same reason, it is also important to not use your SSN as your driver&#039;s license number. In MA residents can choose to have a random number assigned by the state on their license, but if the person doesn&#039;t make the request it will default to their SSN.

    Please be careful out there.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    I&#039;m sure many of you are already aware of this, but also be careful about where you&#039;re car is registered to. I think this is almost more important than the giving/not giving your real first name.
    For better or worse, in today&#039;s "freedom of information" age it is really a simple matter for any customer with the motivation to do so to track down the true name and address of a dancer. In some cities it is as simple as going to city hall and asking to look through the dancer&#039;s license applications and matching the face to the name. As you say, it is also a fairly simple matter in some states to track car license plates. At most clubs which do not have secure dancer parking it is also an easy matter for a dancer to be followed home after her shift.

    This was the motivation behind my post about dancers being cautious about "leading on" customers to think they mean more to the dancer than a paying customer. If a dancer gives a "regular" customer sufficient justification to consider doing something stupid, the dancer can no longer count on any real anonymity in regard to avoiding potential consequences.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    This is yet another reason I don&#039;t like dealing with regulars. They always want more more more, and some will go to great lengths to get it. I don&#039;t give customers ANY reason to think there&#039;s anything going on but a fun business deal. No cell phones, no emails, nada. If they want to talk to me they can come see me in the club. If they aren&#039;t paying me, I&#039;m not hanging around. Period. Too much BS otherwise.

    As for the license and registration issue: This is a simple matter to deal with. Get a public mailbox at a place like MailBoxes Etc (UPS Store). It looks and works like a regular apt address...
    123 Any Street #000
    City, State ZIP

    The important thing is to get a box at a public mail company, not the post office. Many companies / agencies won&#039;t take a PO box as an address.

    Use the mailbox address for EVERYTHING. Credit cards, utility / cell phone bills, bank accounts, driver license, insurance, car registration, medical forms, business/dancer license forms, magazine subscriptions, even personal mail and packages. Don&#039;t send ANY mail to your home address. Then if some asshole copies your car license plate or gets the address listed on your club/license papers or some other record, they only get a public mailbox and not your home address. I haven&#039;t used my home address for anything in years - always a public box.

    Another nice benefit of using a public mailbox is that you can have all your packages sent there and they&#039;ll be safely held by the store until you can pick them up. No more "lost" packages or undeliverable items, and unlike a PO box, you can also have UPS/FedEX pkgs delivered there.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member ChadW's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    For me, the stage name helps me get into my "stripper mode".
    Right on VenusGoddess, me too. Also helps keep me - as in the real me and not the stage show me - more real.
    Chad Weston
    Male Stripper / Dancer / Entertainer



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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine link=board=27;threadid=12193;start=msg157059#msg15 7059 date=1092634383

    Heck, some customers use fake names!
    There&#039;s a customer that come&#039;s into my club about once a week, and he goes by "foxee"

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=27;threadid=12193;start=msg157277#msg15 7277 date=1092670070
    ...a floor guy waited outside with me waiting for my fiance to pick me up. He walks me up to the car, opens the door, checked to make sure it was my fiance (who had my daughter with him) and let me in the car.
    This is how we do it every night. The bouncer stays with you literally until you exit the driveway, even then he makes sure that no one follows, or leaves behind you. I love good security...

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    Member dyeemblonde's Avatar
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    Default Re:What's the danger?

    Bridgette. you are absolutely right. the hotel manager did not put him through and i never said that he did... what i did say was the manager let me know about the incident.
    I wanted to live inside her lungs

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